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Month 4 - Chapter 11: The opposite of Bankruptcy

Aqinos' eyes were immediately drawn to Ikrit and B'nar, and I could tell that he had some vague recognition towards the diminutive student of Yoda.

I speak further. "Master Aqinos, Recreation room Besh is available for sparring, though do be gentle, I have yet to install paneling that can resist lightsabers. Additionally, quartering for yourself and your students are basically up for grabs. I honestly don't really care for assigning rooms. Please ask one of the Sentinel droids if you need assistance finding anything, and I am willing to consult on any chassis upgrades or modifications you'd like to acquire for yourselves. I'll leave you to be acquainted with Masters Ikrit and Ood B'nar, as I have to deal with some nonsense and recollect the No Such Thing as Free from Master Windu."

I duck out before the Jedi nerding out begins rupturing my eardrums, and make my way to the Bridge. I then instruct the droids running everything up there to plot a course to Kamino, as that idiot cultist-in-a-computer Rur will keep for a few months.

I then turn to my mental checklist.

Addressed the ticking time bomb that was the Jebble Box - Check.

Rescued Ood B'nar - Check.

Rescued Ikrit and depowered Exar Kun - Check.

Visit Kamino and see if the Kaminoans want to have a look at an extinct, force-sensitive species, and underhandedly pick up the only Kaminoan Jedi - In progress.

Visit Endor, acquire a population of chickens, see if Simon the Killer Ewok exists, destroy space pirates and either kill or capture Charal - to be addressed.

Visit Dathomir to rescue Maul's mom(Kycina) and sibling(s?) and get good relations with several of the Nightsister and Dathomir Witch tribes - to be addressed.

Give Jedi data on how to intervene in Maul's training and have Kycina serve in an advisory role - to be addressed.

Visit Mandalore and address the Shmi situation - to be addressed.

Visit Kalee and prevent the idiot bugs from creating Grievous - to be addressed.

Alright, good progress for the first year. Now to call up Mace so I can have my ship back. I call up the No Such Thing as Free, and I see Mace accompanied by one of my droids. "Ah, Master Windu. How was Ossus?"

His expression remains unchanged. "It went exceptionally well. My team greatly appreciates the assistance you've lent the Order in moving so many artifacts, even if much of the collection on Ossus has decayed beyond salvaging. We are almost finished moving everything off of your vessel, and it will be returned to your possession within the week. We've also placed a sum of credits in the care of your droids for your help."

"Excellent, glad to be doing business with the Order. If you need help with anything in the future, I'm sure I'll know. It does tend to happen when people dig around in other people's files. You'd make for an excellent Shadow."

His eyebrow raises. "And how might you know about the Shadows or whether I had sliced your systems?"

I smile. "On the latter point, I'm a virtual unknown with a fleet of warships. Any reasonable group would want to know what in the hell I'm up to. On the former point, metaknowledge. You could say a great seer on my homeworld had written out what would happen to your order if nobody intervened within the next few decades. By the way, please be wary of politicians in the future. They're never trustworthy." I turn to regard the droid next to Mace. "Please meet the fleet in the Kamino system once the Jedi have left the No Such Thing as Free." I turn back to Mace. "By the way, once we're done picking up one last stray Master, I'll be out of your metaphorical hair for the next few months."

His eye twitches.

"So long, and thanks for all the fish."

I hang up, and begin cackling like a Sith Lord. "Ah, so much fun to-... ah, fuck, I called him bald."

- - - -

After a while, we jump into Hyperspace, and I track down the various groups aboard my ship via the holocamera security system. Yoda and Ikrit were observing our resident Massassi while he rested, and appeared to be using the force to communicate with the massive fellow, and Ood was hanging out with the Iron Knights while they sparred, talking with Aqinos regarding the Shard species, presumably.

I make my way down to the cell blocks to see how Kalgrath was coping.

Of course, it's still a long walk and I'm actually considering getting something like a repulsorlift golf cart or something so I don't have to walk everywhere on this nearly 2-mile diameter metal bagel of a ship. Mmm, bagel sandwich. I should probably invest in figuring out a recipe for donuts and bagels eventually, too.

After a few long minutes of random tangential thoughts, I eventually reach the cell blocks. Yoda and Ikrit are sitting nearby.

"How is Kalgrath doing?"

Ikrit is the first to respond. "He's.. incredibly lonely. We're doing what we can for him, but he wants to be with his own people."

I rub my forehead. "Better not tell the big lug that the Sith species is functionally extinct, then. However, I do have a plan to fix that, but it requires visiting Kamino."

Ikrit looks confused. "Sith species? I thought it was an order."

I sigh, despairing of the current Republic's education system. "Ah, this old mistake. So, way back in the day, there was the Sith species. Red-skinned with tentacle beards, generally unpleasant in the higher echelons of their society. "

Ikrit clearly takes that with a grain of salt, but listens to the lecture regardless.

"Then along comes the Rakata, the Sith fight them off after learning how to make primitive Holocrons, and then shortly thereafter, the Dark Jedi that were banished from the original order show up on their doorstep. Few generations later, you have the first iteration of the 'modern' Sith, the dark side order and-slash-or the empire. They kick off the Great Hyperspace War in their paranoia, and to the benefit of a budding warlord, and then slowly, the interbreeding with humans and near-humans ends up wiping out the Sith Species until they're functionally extinct by the Mandalorian Wars. Then the Sith Order gets fractious, until Ruusan, and you vaguely know the rest. "

Yoda nods to this, similarly taking the information with skepticism.

"Kalgrath here, despite his looks, was originally part of a Sith subspecies, dunno their name for them, that ended up becoming the Massassi under Exar Kun. Korriban was their species' homeworld-... oh, that reminds me, I need to visit Dromund Kaas so I can get Meetra Surik and Revan's personal effects. That'd be a nice nostalgia trip for HK…"

My thoughts wander and I space off for a moment. Yoda and Ikrit share a look.

"Right, anyhow, we're stopping by Kamino for a twofold purpose; see about unfucking Kalgrath so he can live a halfway normal life under the tutelage of a reasonable force user, and to pick up Kina Ha so she stops wasting time hiding under the ocean like a homeless Disney princess with an ice cream addiction. Once that's done, I'll let you two go attend your responsibilities in the Jedi Order, and I need to go attend business in the Endor system." I turn to look at Kalgrath, who actually looks a little pitiful, and sigh. "Hopefully, the Kaminoans can develop a solution for his condition."

I turn and begin the long walk to recreation room Besh, internally fuming about the Jedi running off without telling anyone and then spend upwards of centuries doing fuck-all. Ood at least has the excuse of being marooned on Ossus and being presumed dead by the horrific radiation flare of several dying stars, but the rest infuriate me.

Literally a private military of monks with laser swords that can cut pretty much everything, and what do they do? They perform indoctrination on children and hide away in an all-but-literal ivory tower, rather than perform their intended task of actually unfucking the galaxy before the next catastrophe of the week kills thousands. Hell, Yoda himself, for all his connection to the force, rarely gets off his ass to actually go out in the field and see about saving some lives. No wonder the Mandalorians find them to be such an offensive organization, even if it is a little hypocritical of them. It's almost like the fuckers are allergic to being proactive. Still, some of them at least try to fix shit. Dooku, for instance, even if it is just individuals rebelling against the system.

One lengthy internal rant about the modern Jedi order's failings later, and I eventually find my way to the Iron Knights. I approach Ood and Aqinos.

"Are the accommodations to your liking?"

Aqinos turns to regard me. "They are, thank you. I do, however, have some questions regarding your opinions. You said that you think droids have the potential to be people in their own right. What about machines in general?"

I rub my chin. "Depends on the machine. There's a few theoretical tests from my homeworld that would help in figuring that out, but I don't have the necessary documentation, and I feel they set the bar too low in the first place. Some folks considered chatbots sapient, after all. At the minimum? I think a sapient machine should be able to hold a conversation and have personal initiative for themselves and the behalf of others. Most droids that haven't had a memory wipe in a couple months fit that criteria, aside from the most simple examples."

Aqinos nods, impressed. "And what are your thoughts on my students?"

"Alive as any of us. I mean, you have been talking with a sapient tree. It's a big universe, life takes many forms, and it doesn't even need to be carbon-based. Also, what is up with people treating cyborgs as lesser? I'm not a huge fan of transhumanism, but if they can function in society, why go out of your way to be an ass to them?"

Aqinos thinks for a moment. "Probably the droid rebellions. Most of those had been fairly bloody, and left a historical black mark on cybernetic life."

I scoff. "And what about any other rebellion? I'm sure many people would gladly cheer if the Hutt cartels were overrun by furious slaves, and most rebellions of any flavor are usually pretty violent by default. Do they expect the ruling class to just roll over and let them go after a few generations of excessive demand?"

He blinks. "I think you are the first person I've met in many years that unrestrictedly agrees with the broad strokes of The Maker philosophy."

I grumble. "Funny, I'm atheist in many ways. Not violently so, mind you, but when you have to deal with religious nutjobs who praise entities that do jack shit about people suffering, it leaves a nasty taste in your mouth when people unfuck a situation and then praise that entity for 'divine retribution' or some shit. Theology, in my opinion, is useless compared to the power of being proactive."

Aqinos chuckles. "A very practical ideology, even if I do disagree on some points. I appreciate the talk."

I grumble, nodding.

"Speaking of talking, we'll be stopping by Kamino to see about fixing up that Massassi we picked up on Yavin Four, as well as picking up a Mandalorian Wars veteran that needs to get off her ass and actually do something with her life." I give a respectful nod to Ood, who nods back, and I begin to head off to the bridge again.

Before I could leave, however, one of the Iron Knights stopped me. This one was using a Juggernaut Droid body and wearing robes over it.

"Greetings, Hatton. I'd like to request your consultation on upgrades. My name is Durindfire."

"Alright. Named for the lightsaber crystal, yeah?"

"That is correct."

We begin walking towards the manufacturing bays.

"So, Durindfire. I've heard good things about the Iron Knights, and I am curious about your people, the Shard. I have some questions regarding some things."

"Go ahead."

"Are you able to communicate with any variety of lightsaber crystals?"

"That depends on the crystal. Most aren't quite capable of talking, but I know some are at least semisapient."

I make note of that detail.

"Is your chassis a separate entity from yourself, a more traditional droid, or is it more like an exoskeleton?"

"The latter. Most of these were reclaimed from the Temple Archives, and were disarmed by removing their personality matrixes and processors. Master Aqinos helped us develop a method to control them, and I don't miss being unable to move under my own power."

"Understandable. So, consultation on new chassis. What sort of body do you want?"

"Modular, I suppose."

"I meant general shape, number of limbs, and capabilities."

"Ah. Honestly, generally humanoid would suit me. Two arms, two legs, photoreceptors on a head that can move, and at minimum, similar capabilities to my current body."

I nod. "Ok, jump jets on a generally humanoid body, and I'll mark you down for some heftier components. How does an HK-derived frame sound?"

Durindfire takes a clear moment to think. "I'll have to see the specifications, but it sounds useful."

- - - - Three Days Later - - - -

Durindfire's new chassis took too damn long, but cannibalizing components from his old body was a cinch. The new chassis came with olfactory sensors, better photoreceptors, a more useful set of hands, and a much more efficient cooling system. It was also much more durable, with both a personal energy shield (salvaged off of a spare Sentinel droid repair package) and sloped armor that was easily repaired or replaced.

Aqinos assisted in the transfer, and the nearly-hollow body of the Juggernaut Droid he originally dwelled in was placed in a storage room until we figured out what to do with it. I personally think it should go to a museum, but it's Durindfire's call.

Ultimately, this was a test run of a more dedicated set of bodies for Jedi representatives of the Shard race (and essentially free stress-testing of the future standard-issue Hatton Logistics security droid model), and I'm quite satisfied with the result. Additionally, and incidentally, Durindfire's new crush depth should be sufficient in reaching Kina Ha's domicile if we need to go directly to her, and the jetpack is waterproof enough to serve as a means of swimming around. HK has begun pestering me for a similar upgrade.

Thankfully, the transition out of hyperspace interrupted his latest attempt, and thankfully, the Free was waiting for us at the edge of the system.

One of the shuttles I left on that vessel showed up with roughly… holy goddamn shit, that's a lot of money. Nearly a billion credits, all sourced from several Jedi splinter orders. I had to sit down for a moment and contemplate how much good I could do with that kind of money. I could almost hear the wallets of those Orders screeching in agony. Palps is gonna be livid, and I'm gonna have to deal with raiders picking fights with me as soon as he figures out who pointed them at Ossus.

I began to laugh like a goddamn maniac, until my lungs started to hurt.

- - - - 2 hours later - - - -

After recovering from the latest mental breakdown, I had my bridge officer-equivalent droid send a message to the Kaminoans, and then I sent a holocom message to our resident masters to ask Kina Ha to kindly get off her ass, and then I had HK-47 and some of his distant cousins help me herd Kalgrath onto the Hazard. Kalgrath was simultaneously uncooperative and surprisingly gentle, like a cat that doesn't want to go to the vet, rather than the alchemy-enhanced goliath he is.

Kalgrath definitely seems to enjoy the flavor of chocolate, though, even if it is just ration bars. Very food-motivated. Damnit, now I'm sad again.

A short flight later (while I try my utmost not to cry about not seeing Bubs ever again), the Hazard is guided down by an Aiwha-riding Kaminoan to an isolated platform, a long ways away from Tipoca city. This must be Kina Ha. I exit the ship and have HK keep an eye on Kalgrath.

A Kaminoan wearing somewhat dinged-up synth-leather armor is standing to greet me, looking somewhat unamused.

"Kina Ha, I presume?"

"You presume correctly. You must be Hatton."

"That I am. I've made a recent habit of tracking down and making sure you Jedi are getting proactive about shit again. Do you know how many of you people run off and hide in a remote corner of the galaxy without telling anyone, and just bunker down and hope you can react in time?"

Her expression grows less than serene, and she begins to glare down at me. "Who are you to judge?"

"The guy that's tracked down four of you now. I believe you're an acquaintance of Celeste Morne?"

"I know of her. She went missing not long before-... You found her?"

"In the Jebble Box, sharing brainspace with Karness Muur, a Sith ghost in a talisman that could make rakghouls. It's been destroyed, and she's off getting debriefed by the Council. Now come on, I've got business to attend to and I am rapidly running out of patience for people who run and hide rather than knuckle down and do what they can."

She huffs a bit, offended by the implications. "I've also found Master Ikrit, Master Ood B'nar, metaphorically kicked Exar Kun in his intangible grody-ass teeth, found a living member of the Massassi, hired the True Mandalorians to do a rescue-raid on Hutt territory, and I plan to nip the Sith plan you've been hiding away trying to prepare for by actively unfucking shit. Clone Armies are inefficient, anyhow."

She glares down at me, very clearly offended.

I turn up the sass. "I know about the holovids. Were you also eating ice cream while wrapped up in a blanket?"

She blinks, surprised. "How-"

"Ask Yoda so you have someone to share the headache with. Right now? I am thoroughly fed up with this shit and I have to put a polite face on for your fascist asshole relatives at Tipoca." I turn and walk back up to my ship, before throwing her one last comment. "I do apologize, Kina, but I'm sure you're familiar with the feeling that you're the only person doing something. A lot of Jedi felt that way during the Mandalorian Wars." I close the hatch, taking a deep breath.

- - - -

Kina, of course, has her own ship, an Uulshos DPx yacht. I give her a head start, and she flies up to the Laxative Delivery while I fly over to Tipoca City.

Let me describe Kaminoan society for you.

Kaminoans obsess over aesthetics. They treat it like their lifeblood. They've taken that concept so far that they've created a rigid caste-based society based on eye color. They went to eugenics over eye color. Their cities are literally a privately owned fascist state where if you have a specific eye color, you do one, maybe two jobs. If you deviate, you die. If you're considered useless or redundant or just plain aesthetically displeasing, you usually die. It's how their repugnant society works.

In the original timeline, their idiotic obsession over aesthetics got thousands, if not millions of Clone Troopers killed because they liked the rainbow colors plastoid made to their eyes.

Kina Ha was one of the ones that got away, while their rulers were busy being on the fence about the project she was made for. Was I a little unfair to her? Yes, but considering she's got four fucking thousand years of experience, somehow,despite the Kaminoan lifespan being around 80 years, which I assume was a result of either a specific force technique or a quirk of her extensively modified genome, perhaps both, I have no patience for her. She should know better than to take pages out of Yoda's playbook, for a variety of reasons.

We eventually touch down on one of the exceptionally rain-drenched platforms at Tipoca City, and I make sure to put on my hazardous environment suit for two reasons. First? The boots have excellent grip, so I don't go over the edge of this OSHA non-compliant hellhole. Second? Because I can crank up the opaqueness of the faceplate so I can conceal my identity. I don't know how many of these pricks are in Sith pockets, and I plan to maintain anonymity here for as long as possible.

I lead Kalgrath down the already drenched ramp, and have a pair of the HK droids follow. HK himself is in step next to me, and he's already scanning the surroundings. The 'streets' of this upper level are utterly empty, aside from who I assume is Taun We near the door.

We approached.

"Welcome to Tipoca City, stranger. My name is Taun We. Do you have business to discuss with us?"

"I do, Taun We. I'd like to fund an exploration of the Massassi Sith genome in an effort to remedy some issues with my friend here. He was subject to some… unpleasant experimentation some centuries ago."

"I see. I assume you would prefer to remain anonymous?"

"I do. Kalgrath here is from a species that is currently considered extinct, so his genome may be worth more than either of us realize. I'll provide a credit account to draw from for this project."

Taun We bows. "I would be most happy to arrange this project for you."

I nod back. "By the way, if a Sifo Dyas, Darth Sidious, or other anonymous party attempts to get you to make an army with this genome or another, I recommend declining. After using it, they're the sort of group that likes to silence loose ends."

Taun We nods. "I will bring it up for consideration with the Prime Minister."

I halt for a second. "One last thing. I'm leaving one of my droids here to help Kalgrath get acclimated, and I'd appreciate it if Tipoca City treats him well, as I do have future plans for him once some of his faculties are restored. Acquire as many samples as needed, so long as he is kept relatively comfortable and healthy."

Taun We nods once again, and I hand her a data cylinder. "This contains direct access to the account in question, which . If you have questions or have exceeded the funds provided, there is a holonet number connected so I might assist where I am able." She consults the data cylinder and finds the initial sum to be sufficient with a nod. It should, as I connected 1.5 million credits to that account while I was busy getting here.

I turn to leave, and wave goodbye to Kalgrath. He waves back, and the Kaminoan guides both him and the droid into the facility. I sigh, and walk back to the Memetic Hazard.

- - - - 2 hours later - - - -

The flight back to the Delivery is uneventful, and as I beeline it for my room, I send a message to the bridge to begin plotting a course to the Endor system, and then begin composing a message to Yoda.

In short order, I hammer out a list of places containing types of lightsaber crystal, as well as some other noteworthy locations to the Jedi, as well as a recommendation to investigate Orsis Academy for a young Zabrak male, as he is being groomed to be a Sith apprentice, and a force composition of at least six Jedi Knights is recommended, as his master may well be nearby.

I have one of my droids deliver that to Yoda, and then I pass the fuck out.