Lost

The actions were too sudden, and even though I knew this meant there would be no turning back, I couldn’t stop it. My breath quickened as teeth clashed and tongues scraped harshly against the inside of my mouth. Gasping for air, I turned my head, only for Jung Woojin to lower his lips again, kissing down to my chin before biting my neck. It was so rough that I let out a grunt, and as if to apologize, he licked the spot he had just bitten. My body staggered sideways, and Jung Woojin climbed on top of me. Squinting tightly to focus, I could see him loosening his tie and taking off his outer clothes.When our eyes met, Jung Woojin paused, then bent down again to suck on my lips. His hand roamed over my chest, down my stomach, and lower, until he bit hard near my pelvis. As I tilted my head back and let out a low groan, Jung Woojin left a mark on the protruding bone before lifting my leg to rub his lips along the inside of my thigh, finally pulling off my briefs. He stroked my erection with his hand before taking it into his mouth, and I inhaled sharply. As I lowered my hand to thread through his hair, he took me in deeper.The heat from his gaze as he slowly bobbed his head, looking up at me, was stronger than the shame of panting on the sofa in broad daylight. I scrunched my eyebrows and looked at Jung Woojin, but when I couldn’t hold his gaze, I turned my head, and he began to move faster. His tongue flicked against the tip of my glans, and the slick walls of his mouth enveloped my shaft, making my lower abdomen ache.As I quickly hardened and gasped, Jung Woojin pulled away and sat up. One hand undid his belt buckle while the other pressed my erection against my lower abdomen, slowly rubbing it. Even though I didn’t want to see it, my gaze was drawn to the pre-cum dripping from the tip, pooling on my stomach, and I bit my lip. Jung Woojin, meanwhile, began grinding his erection roughly between the cleft of my buttocks.“Ah, fuck.”Realizing a little too late that I wasn’t properly prepared, he pulled my thighs apart and bent down again. Ah, I really wish he wouldn’t do this—fuck. Before I could even voice my complaint, my ass was spread wide. Before I could even feel his hot breath, his tongue was already lapping at my entrance. No matter how hard I tried to relax, my body tensed every time he licked me. I hunched my shoulders and endured it, but when I couldn’t take it anymore and twisted my body, Jung Woojin gripped my thigh tightly. The hold was painful enough to leave a mark, and I groaned as he slipped a finger into the wet hole.He pushed and stretched me with his finger, pulling it out to lick again, and then reached for the drawer next to the sofa. I heard the dull thud of a notebook and pen falling to the floor. As I lifted my arm from covering my face, I saw Jung Woojin squeezing a generous amount of gel onto his palm. It dripped down as he rubbed it between his hands before inserting his fingers into me again. This time they slid in much more easily, and he quickly added another one.The slick and sticky feeling inside was vivid as the gel was spread. Each time Jung Woojin’s fingers rubbed inside and withdrew, my shoulders trembled, and my body instinctively tensed up. After using the remaining gel to rub his own erection, he removed his fingers and pressed his glans against the cleft of my buttocks. I thought he would push in right away, but he hesitated, pausing to catch his breath. Then, when our eyes met, he thrust inside in one smooth motion.“Ahh!”The heat that filled me made a sound escape my lips before I could even realize it. My body tensed up, trembling violently as warmth spread through my belly. I didn’t know if he came right after entering, but Jung Woojin buried his face in my shoulder, panting heavily. After what felt like an eternity, he finally lifted his head, his eyes tinged red, and looked down at me. As he gazed at me with tear-filled eyes and slowly moved his hips, his erection slid out.“Ah…!”The tension in my body didn’t release, and a whining sound escaped me. When his erection thrust back inside fully, sparks flashed in front of my eyes.“Sunbae.”The quivering voice reached my ears, and I couldn’t hold back any longer. The sound of the gel, now fully mixed with semen, squelched obscenely with every movement. The messy fluids pooled inside me, slowly seeping out and trickling down beneath me.“Sunbae, Sunbae.”Jung Woojin pressed his forehead to mine, tears streaming down as he called my name.“I love you.”“Ah, f… ugh!”“I really love you.”Every time the slick inner walls rubbed against me, a tingling sensation shot through my fingertips. No matter how much I panted, the heat inside my body wouldn’t dissipate. I grabbed my collar with trembling hands, gripping it like I would tear it apart, and Jung Woojin took hold of my wrist. He licked my trembling fingertips before pulling them into his mouth, sucking on them just as he had done with my erection.“Ah, ah…!”I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip was firm, and I couldn’t escape. As the walls inside me were pressed with every thrust, the discomfort made me squeeze my eyes shut. Jung Woojin, still sucking on my fingers, pressed his lips to my tear-streaked eyes. He licked them, then gently bit my eyelids before letting go, all while his movements remained relentless.He thrust in and out quickly, and I couldn’t catch my breath or swallow the saliva building up in my mouth. When I couldn’t hold it any longer and let out a moan, finally climaxing, the erection grinding inside me suddenly pulled out. The sudden emptiness as I came made it feel like my orgasm had been cut short. I reached down to grab my erection, but Jung Woojin caught my wrist. He lifted my leg, licking behind my knee, and rubbed the tip of his glans against my open hole. Slowly pushing back inside, his semen oozed out of me as if squeezed from my body. Shuddering with overstimulation, I trembled as he slid his hand under my thigh, lifting me so my buttocks barely touched the sofa.The semen that had been dripping onto my belly now splattered onto my chest, chin, and face in a disordered mess.“Ugh, ha… ah…!”My vision blurred, and with each thrust, it felt like my head was spinning. Amidst the wet, squelching sounds and our ragged breathing, I heard Jung Woojin calling my name. Struggling to open my eyes, I saw him licking the semen that had dripped onto my cheek. Before I could even say anything, he flipped me over on the sofa, positioning me on my stomach with my hips raised.Every time Jung Woojin called my name through his tears, my body felt like it was sinking lower, heavier with each utterance. The overwhelming pleasure clung to me, sticky and unrelenting, making me squeeze my eyes shut as tears flowed. Each time his lips touched the back of my neck, the heat intensified, as if my body were burning up.“Sunbae, I love you.”“Sob, ah, ah…!”Even after I climaxed, gasped for breath, and cried, the heat kept rising.“I love you.”“Aaah!”At the sound of his trembling voice, I lowered my hand and rubbed my erection, and just like that, I came again. My hips moved on their own, my face rubbing against the sofa as I shook my erection mindlessly. His hand covered mine, gripping it as if to guide the movement, and my hips began to move even faster.“Sunbae.”Tears welled up again at the sound of his voice calling me amidst the chaos.“Sunbae, Sunbae.”I felt like I was starting to understand why Jung Woojin cried whenever he looked at me.＊ ＊ ＊The first thing I did when I woke up was check if Jung Woojin was still asleep. Thankfully, he seemed to be in a deep enough sleep that he wouldn’t wake even if someone touched him. I felt relieved. What time did he fall asleep last night? I couldn’t quite remember, but I was sure it was before nine o’clock.We had talked while lying in bed, but we didn’t mention the dream again. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t push the issue. We talked about trivial things until he started dozing off, so I let him sleep, and he seemed to drift off as if he had been waiting for that moment. I barely slept the entire night, worried that Jung Woojin might wake up.I carefully climbed out of bed and stepped outside, trying not to wake him. We had to leave by ten, so if I wanted to eat breakfast before going, we still had about thirty minutes to spare. I opened the fridge and spent a while debating what to make. Cooking seemed risky, but I figured rice would be better than bread, so I decided to make the leftover inari sushi that was in the fridge.I skimmed over the instructions on the packaging, scooped the rice into a large bowl, and added all the ingredients. I put on some gloves and started filling the inari pouches with rice. It was a repetitive process, and at some point, I realized I had run out of rice. Upon closer inspection, I had stuffed too much rice into each pouch. I debated whether to take it out and split the portions in half, but then it seemed like the amount was too small. Frustrated, I cursed under my breath and, realizing that more time had passed than I thought, took off the gloves and headed back to the room.I didn’t feel like I had done much, yet somehow time had flown by. When I entered the room, Jung Woojin was still fast asleep, lying in the exact same position as before, as if he were dead to the world. I approached the bed and sat down at the edge, making the mattress shift slightly. Normally, he would wake up at the slightest sound, but seeing that he didn’t stir, I realized just how deeply he was sleeping.Earlier, I had been too worried about waking him to really look at him, but now I took the chance to study his face. I had no idea what Jung Woojin thought about every morning when he looked at me like this. But now, I think I understood, at least a little.He was simply lying there, breathing with his eyes closed, and yet, for some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I stared at his closed eyelids for a long time, then moved on to his nose, lips, earlobes, and hair. I felt like I should wake him, but I didn’t want to, so I kept stalling, telling myself just a bit longer, until another ten minutes had passed. Finally, I woke him up.“Hey.”I reached out and gently shook his shoulder, watching as his peaceful face began to scrunch up. Noticing the wrinkles forming between his brows, I rubbed them with my fingers. Jung Woojin shook his head lightly and shifted his body. After a long moment of trying to keep his eyes closed, he finally opened them slowly. Even then, he quickly shut them again, but in that brief moment, he must have seen me because he reached out blindly into the air, eventually pulling himself up to wrap his arms around me. Eyes still half-closed, he mumbled something incoherent.“When did you wake up?”“Just a while ago. Don’t you have to leave by ten?”“Uh… yeah, I think it’s supposed to be ten.”“Hurry up and shower. It’s already nine.”Without responding, Jung Woojin rubbed his face against the back of my neck a few times before quieting down again. Afraid he’d fall back asleep, I slapped his back firmly with my palm.“I said it’s nine.”“Mm…”“Hurry up and shower.”“Can you help me…”His mumbled words made me feel like I had no choice but to stand up quickly, which caused Jung Woojin to sway. He flopped onto the blanket with a groan, wrinkling his face and lifting his head.“What time is it now?”“I told you, it’s nine.”“Oh… When did you wake up, Sunbae?”“Earlier.”“Did you have breakfast?”Still rubbing his eyes, he tilted his head back and forth, and his neck made a cracking sound. Did he sleep in a bad position? I reached out and massaged his neck, and only then did he open his eyes and look at me. He blinked slowly, staring at me, so I frowned and asked.“Why are you staring at me like that?”“Because I like it.”“Because I’m massaging your neck?”“That, and because you woke me up this morning.”He smiled like an idiot, making me feel strangely embarrassed to mention that I had already prepared breakfast. It wasn’t even much—just some rice stuffed into inari pouches.“I think I’ll finish work early today. Want to have dinner out?”“But didn’t we just eat out yesterday? And you’re finishing early again?”“Uh, maybe?”“…”I couldn’t tell if he really would finish early or if he just wanted to leave work quickly. Whatever, he’d figure it out himself, so I stood up from the bed and said,“Shower and come out. I’ve made something to eat.”“You did, Sunbae?”“Yeah, I woke up a bit earlier.”“Wow, that’s amazing.”Jung Woojin looked at me with wide eyes, like a surprised rabbit, which made me feel weird again.“Is this a dream?”“It’s not a dream, now hurry up and shower. We don’t have much time.”“Is today my birthday or something?”“Just shower already, quick!”I shoved Jung Woojin into the bathroom, cutting off his nonsense, and returned to the kitchen. I plated the inari sushi I had prepared earlier and waited, lost in thought. Jung Woojin had always overreacted to things I did, but after what happened yesterday, his reactions felt even more exaggerated.It made me feel both embarrassed and guilty. I wondered if I had really not done anything for him before. His tears when I told him I wanted to live together and his overjoyed reaction to me making breakfast showed that he must not have expected these things from me.As I sat there, deep in thought with a heavy expression, Jung Woojin walked into the kitchen, freshly showered. He hadn’t even dried off properly, his hair still dripping wet.“Did you really make this, Sunbae?”“…”I watched him smiling as he sat down in the chair and asked,“Am I really that bad to you?”“Huh?”“Am I really that bad to you?”It was true that the line between doing well and not doing well had become blurred. I tried not to take for granted how much Jung Woojin did for me, but over time, I might have subconsciously gotten used to it. As I pondered, Jung Woojin, noticing my serious expression, suddenly looked pitiful and nodded.“Yeah, I guess you kind of are.”“…”I had thought that maybe his extreme happiness over small things was because I hadn’t done much for him, but hearing it said directly to my face hit me harder than I expected.“You don’t even let me text you often. And you rarely reply.”“You’re just overreacting.”“And you rarely answer my calls.”“Oh my god, are you seriously still going on about the texts and calls?”I was already feeling serious, but the fact that Jung Woojin brought up texts and calls made me curse under my breath. He chuckled at my reaction.“Other than that, there’s not much. But when we’re apart for hours, and you don’t answer my calls or texts, it’s scary.”“What’s so scary about that?”“I wonder what you’re up to, or what if a burglar breaks in, or a fire starts, or a robber comes and you get hurt, or you slip while showering and pass out in the bathroom…”As I watched him seriously list off these concerns, I handed him a pair of chopsticks.“Just hurry up and eat before you go.”“Why are you rushing me out?”“Just eat already.”“But why does this look like this?”Looking at the messy inari sushi with a puzzled expression, Jung Woojin asked. I couldn’t tell him it was because I’d stuffed and unstuffed the rice too many times, so I just shook my head.“I’d be touched every time you made me breakfast, Sunbae.”“What?”“Even if you made it every day, I’d be touched every time.”“…”“Isn’t that why you asked me earlier?”Chewing on the oddly shaped inari sushi, he smiled and continued when I didn’t respond, struck by his words.“Didn’t you know? It’s not just breakfast—I feel moved just when you call my name, even once.”“…”“Really, you didn’t know?”His words made me frown as they started to sink in.“Don’t act like that normally.”“Why not?”“What’s so special about calling your name that you get emotional over it? Just appreciate it when I actually do something for you.”When I actually do something, like today, it’s fine. But I didn’t want to see him getting all emotional over nothing on a regular day. What’s so special about calling his name anyway? I furrowed my brows again. Do I not call his name often enough?Hey. Jung Woojin. You idiot. You jerk.I thought about the last time I called him and suddenly felt embarrassed, covering my mouth with my hand. Unless he specifically asked me to call him “Woojin,” which I’d do sometimes when he cried or to stop him from doing something weird, I rarely used his name.What did I call him when I woke him up earlier? I probably didn’t say “Woojin” then either, right? But if he just stares at me and asks, it’s hard to call his name on command, isn’t it? Shouldn’t it come out naturally…? Or did I not even do it then?Lost in my own thoughts, I suddenly lifted my head.“Hey.”“Yes?”Jung Woojin had nearly finished the inari sushi I made and looked at me.“Why don’t you ever call my name?”“Huh?”“Why do you still call me ‘Sunbae’? This isn’t school. It’s been ages since we left, and you’re still calling me Sunbae.”“…”Even though he saved my number as “Hyung” in his phone, he still persistently called me Sunbae. It would feel a bit weird if he suddenly called me “Hyung” now, but I’m sure I’d get used to it over time.I tilted my head as I watched him stay silent.“Well?”Even when I pressed him for an answer, he just avoided my gaze.“Why do you keep calling me Sunbae?”“Then what should I call you?”“How should I know? I’m just asking why you keep calling me Sunbae.”“…”He never calls my name either, but he’s always asking me to call his. Feeling wronged, I suddenly said,“Why don’t you try calling my name once?”“…”“Go on, call it.”“…”His stubborn silence made me laugh, but at this point, my determination to hear him say it grew.“Do you not know my name or something?”“I know it.”“Then why don’t you say it?”“How can I just call your name like that?”“You’ve got to be kidding me. Then why do you keep asking me to call your name?”Jung Woojin inhaled deeply as if he were about to say something, but then closed his mouth in silence. Finding it both funny and ridiculous, I pressed him again.“Say my name already.”“No.”“Why not?”“Because it’s embarrassing.”Jung Woojin muttered in a barely audible voice, still unable to meet my eyes. Embarrassing? What’s embarrassing about calling someone’s name? Why is that embarrassing?“Just suck it up and call me.”“No.”“Then I’m not going to call your name either.”“Why are you being so childish?”“Childish? Childish? Did you seriously just call me childish? What the hell is so embarrassing about calling my name?!”“I don’t know!”When I yelled, Jung Woojin snapped back, raising his voice as well. Seeing him shout like that caught me off guard. As he shoved the remaining inari sushi into his mouth and got up, I followed him, speaking again as I trailed behind.“Say it.”His pace quickened at my words.“I said, say it.”He ignored me and entered the dressing room, rummaging through his clothes before grabbing something to put on. I caught his arm before he could put it on.“Come on, say it already!”“I can’t!”“Why not?”Jung Woojin frowned deeply, his expression sour. It was so amusing that, despite my attempts to stay serious, I couldn’t help but laugh.“Seriously, why can’t you?”“…”“You do know my name, right?”“I know.”“Then what is it?”This is too funny. I couldn’t stop laughing as I asked again.“Say it.”“…”“Look, you’ve got no problem going down on me in the morning, but you’re embarrassed to call my name?”“Can’t I just go down on you now instead?”I was speechless for a moment, seeing how serious he looked when he asked that. Is it really that hard to say my name? But I couldn’t back down now. I gripped his wrist tighter, putting on a stern face.“Say it.”“…”His face, twisted in discomfort, started to shift as if he were about to cry.“Anyone would think I’m bullying you.”“You are bullying me right now.”“Fine, let’s say I am. So hurry up and say it.”After hesitating for a long time, Jung Woojin finally seemed to make up his mind. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His lips moved silently as he looked at me with trembling eyes, and then he closed his eyes tightly.“S-Seoju.”“…”His entire face, from his neck to his ears, flushed bright red. I wanted to ask if he thought I was his buddy, but the words wouldn’t come out. While I wasn’t fazed at all, seeing him get so embarrassed made me feel awkward for forcing him to do it.“…”“…”When I didn’t respond, he slowly opened his eyes, still blushing, and looked at me again.“Seoju.”“…”“Kang Seoju.”“…”After struggling so much to say it the first time, it seemed easier now that he’d said it once, as he kept repeating my name under his breath. After muttering it to himself for a while, Jung Woojin covered his mouth with his hand and closed his eyes again.“I really can’t do this.”“You’ve already said it a bunch of times. What do you mean you can’t?”“It feels weird.”Weird? I feel weirder than you do, honestly. What am I, your friend? I expected him to call me “Seoju Sunbae” or “Seoju hyung,” but just “Seoju”? Kang Seoju? I furrowed my brows, and Jung Woojin laughed.“It reminds me of when we were kids.”“…”For some reason, his innocent-looking expression left me speechless. His smile, in that moment, reminded me of when we were younger. Actually, I didn’t really remember what Jung Woojin looked like as a kid, but something about the way he smiled felt familiar. Back then, he was like a scared puppy, always glancing around nervously with wide eyes, trembling. But whenever he looked at me, he’d smile like that, as if nothing had happened. That’s how I remember it, at least.“Sunbae.”Lost in thought for a moment, I heard Jung Woojin call me impatiently.“What are you thinking about?”“You.”“What about me?”“Put on your clothes. You’re going to be late.”Thinking about the past always made me feel strange—unpleasantly strange. I’d unconsciously tried to avoid it all this time.“Why? What’s with you all of a sudden?”“It’s nothing.”“But you asked me to call your name.”Seeing Jung Woojin’s anxious expression made me feel even worse. When is he ever going to realize that when I’m in a bad mood, it’s not because of him?“Keep calling me that from now on.”“Call you what? Your name?”“Yeah.”“…Uh, I’ll think about it.”Jung Woojin, who had been clinging to me, suddenly turned around and started looking at clothes. Watching his back, I let out a sarcastic laugh and left the room. I went to the kitchen, cleared the dishes, and checked the clock—it was almost ten o’clock. Even if I left right now, I’d still be late. I should’ve talked about calling my name later. I woke him up on time, even made him breakfast.While I was thinking that, Jung Woojin approached me, apparently ready to leave.“I’ll clean this up when I get back. Just leave it.”“I can clean it up.”“You’ll be tired.”“I’m not an invalid, you know?”Why does he treat me like I’m sick? I frowned, but realizing we were short on time, I led him to the front door.“Just hurry up and go. Are you sure you’re okay going out like that? Your hair’s still damp.”“I’ll fix it once I get there anyway.”“Alright, just go quickly.”“Why do you keep rushing me?”“Because you’re late. It’s almost ten.”I ignored his protest that it wasn’t ten yet and pushed him out the door. Even when I waved him off and told him to hurry, he just lingered there, grumbling to himself.“Why aren’t you going?”“I’m going.”“Alright, see you later.”I waved again, but this time too, Jung Woojin didn’t move, just standing there. It seemed like he was waiting for something, so I sighed, realizing what it was. I beckoned him over, and as if he’d been waiting for it, he stepped closer. I reached out, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down, causing him to bend naturally. When I kissed him on the lips, his face finally relaxed, and he waved back at me.“I’m off.”“Got it.”“I’ll call you.”“Alright.”“I’ll text you too! I love you!”“I got it!”I stood at the door for a while, watching until Jung Woojin, who kept looking back several times as he walked away, was completely out of sight. Once the house suddenly became quiet, maybe because I hadn’t slept all night, I was overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue.I quickly finished washing the dishes and checked my phone. There was a message waiting for me.[I’ve arrived! I’ll get in touch later. I’m really going to work hard today. Love you.]I chuckled at his eager message and sent a reply.[Got it. I’m going to sleep for a bit, so don’t text or call. I’ll reach out when I wake up.]Just in case he tried to contact me while I was sleeping, I sent the message and immediately lay down. My heavy eyelids closed, and I quickly fell into a deep sleep, dreamless. After sleeping for quite a while, I was stirred awake by the sound of my phone vibrating. Groggily, I reached for my phone, fumbling with it for a moment before finally opening my eyes as a call came through.“Hello.”— Were you sleeping?“Yeah… What time is it?”— It’s four o’clock. I just finished. Should I come straight home?Four o’clock? Startled, I opened my eyes wide and checked the time on my phone. It was 4:12 PM. Had I really slept that long? Still not fully awake, I sighed several times before answering.“Where are you right now?”— I’m near xx. Should I head home? Does that mean you haven’t eaten anything since this morning?“I’ll be out soon. Just wait for me.”— Do you want me to come pick you up?“No… I’ll wash up and get back to you.”I hung up the phone, stumbled out of bed, and went to wash up. It took about 20 minutes to throw on some clothes without properly drying my hair. After sending a text saying I’d dry my hair and head out, I quickly received a response. Without checking it, I turned on the hairdryer, half-dried my hair, grabbed my wallet and phone, and left the house.In the taxi, I told the driver where to go and finally checked my phone. There were seven unread messages.[Are you sleeping? Just sending this in case. Sleep well.][Did you eat breakfast before sleeping?][What did you have for lunch? You’re not still sleeping, are you?][(Photo) I had a lunchbox today, but it was awful.][I miss youㅠㅠ][Are you asleep? I’m done now.][Take your time. Do you really not want me to pick you up? I’ll be at a nearby café.]Maybe I’d told him off about blowing up my phone with calls and texts before, because compared to usual, there weren’t that many.[I’m in a taxi now. Where are you?]He replied almost immediately.[At the xx café. We went there together once, remember?]I think I might remember, though I wasn’t entirely sure. I’d probably know once I got there. After getting out of the taxi, I was looking around when another message came through.[Did you arrive? I worked so hard today, I’m exhaustedㅠㅠ][Eat something sweet while you wait. I’m almost there.][I ordered walnut pie. Hurry up. I miss youㅠㅠ]Didn’t he say I could take my time just a moment ago? I stopped walking to reply to his texts, then raised my head and scanned the area again. I thought it was around here somewhere. As I looked around, I suddenly spotted Jung Woojin through the café window. Even from a distance, I could tell it was him, sitting by the window, phone in hand. I watched as he typed something, and just as his fingers moved again, my phone began to ring.“Hello.”— Where are you?“I’m almost there.”— Should I come get you?“No. Where are you?”— I told you, I’m inside the café. Can’t you find it?As I got closer, Jung Woojin shifted as if he was about to get up.“I’m almost there. Are you eating what you ordered?”— No, it doesn’t taste good, so I didn’t eat it. What do you want to eat? You must be hungry, right? What should we do after we eat?I could see him poking the pie with the knife that was given to cut it.“You said you were tired earlier. Let’s just eat and head home.”— But since we’re out, why don’t we watch a movie? It’s been a while since we went together.I walked a bit closer.“We went last week.”— But not this week.His voice sounded sulky, but his face was full of smiles. Watching him move his lips and shift his gaze as he poked at the pie with the knife—it was all so mundane, yet I couldn’t look away. I’d always wondered why Jung Woojin would gaze at me so intently, and now, in this moment, I thought I knew why—just as I did in the early hours of this morning.— Sunbae, are you on your way?“Yeah.”— Where are you now?“Why do you keep asking?”— Because I miss you. You probably don’t feel the same.Seeing his smiling face as he said that, I couldn’t help but tell him that I missed him too. Or at least, I was about to when suddenly someone bumped into me, and I dropped my phone.“Oh, I’m sorry!”It was a hard bump, and I furrowed my brow as I turned toward the sound. The woman, panting as if she’d been rushing somewhere, looked at me with a flushed face. She quickly apologized and was about to leave when she suddenly paused.“Sunbae?”I was about to bend down to pick up my phone when I heard her voice and turned to look, confused. I didn’t recognize her, but she spoke to me as if we were acquaintances.“Who are you?”“It’s me, Ahyun! From xx High School, class 3-1! You’re Kang Seoju Sunbae, right?”High school? How many years had it been…? I was so caught off guard that I couldn’t say anything. Then she started jumping up and down with excitement.“Oh my gosh, it’s been so long! You haven’t changed a bit since high school! Only your hairstyle’s different, but you look exactly the same!”“Uh…”“I’ve changed a lot, right? It’s been forever! Remember when I confessed to you at graduation? Even though you rejected me right away, haha. Do you remember?”Her face was beaming as she laughed, and I finally recalled who she was.“Oh, Kang Ahyun!”“You remember me? Wow, it’s really been a long time. Back then, Sunbae—”I nodded with a smile, but suddenly there was a loud bang. Startled, I gasped and turned toward the sound. Jung Woojin was standing there, and he had just pounded his fist on the window. He stood up so abruptly that the table shook.“What the heck? Is that guy crazy…? Do you know him, Sunbae?”Ahyun asked with a disgusted look on her face. Sweat began to run down my back, and I had a terrible feeling something bad was about to happen. As Ahyun bent down to pick up my phone from the floor, I hurriedly spoke to her.“I’ll contact you later. You should go now.”“But you don’t have my number.”I felt like I was going to die, but Ahyun seemed oblivious to the seriousness of the situation. She just kept rummaging through her bag as if looking for something.“Just go for now. I’ll… I’ll get in touch later.”“What?”“I said… just… Damn it.”Ahyun finally noticed something was off as she paused, looking at me curiously. Just as I was about to tell her to hurry up and leave, I saw the café door open, and Jung Woojin walked out. All I could think was, I’m screwed. I couldn’t say anything more to Ahyun, who was watching me in confusion, and I quickly walked toward Jung Woojin.“Hey! That person—”I was about to explain that she was just a high school classmate, but then I saw the knife in his hand, and my words caught in my throat. It was the same knife he had been poking the pie with earlier. I grabbed his wrist and yanked him back.“Are you insane?”“Who is she?”“She’s… just a classmate, you crazy… You psycho…”I was so shocked that I couldn’t even form proper sentences. I pressed myself close to him, trying to keep Ahyun from noticing anything. She was still watching us, and I heard her call out to me from behind.“Sunbae, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”Her voice was full of concern, but before I could respond, Jung Woojin snarled like a beast.“That bitch…!”“Jung Woojin!”I shouted, my face pale. As loud as I had yelled, there was a good chance Ahyun had already heard him curse. Our raised voices were starting to draw attention from the people walking nearby. My heart pounded, and I felt dizzy as if the world was spinning.“Shut up and follow me. If you say one more word, I’ll stab you with that knife.”“What…!”“I’m not talking about stabbing you, idiot. I’ll stab myself. Do you want to watch me carve up my own stomach?”“…”I clenched my teeth and whispered furiously, and only then did Jung Woojin go silent. I could feel the tension in his body as he tried to hold himself back. I was too scared to even look back and see what face Ahyun might be making. All I wanted was to get out of there as fast as possible. I heard the sound of the knife clattering to the ground as he loosened his grip, but that didn’t bring me any comfort. I knew too well that this guy wouldn’t hesitate to punch someone in the face, whether they were male or female.“Please, I’m begging you. Don’t say a word and just follow me.”“…”“Hah…”A deep sigh escaped my lips. I couldn’t even muster a proper goodbye as I led Jung Woojin into a narrow alley next to the café. We walked past piles of trash and into a deeper, more secluded area, where no one else was around. Only when we reached the dead end of the alley did I finally stop and release the hand I had been gripping.Breathing heavily, Jung Woojin spoke, as if waiting for the moment:“Who was that?”“Just someone I know…”“What were you doing there?”“…”“Why did you lie?”Barely giving me a chance to respond, Jung Woojin kept pressing, so I reined in my anger and asked, “What lie?”“You said you were on your way.”“No, I didn’t—”“You said you were coming to me!”His voice, bursting out impulsively, made my head throb. I raised a hand to press against my temple, but even then, his accusing voice didn’t stop.“What were you talking about? What were you doing there? Who was that bitch? Why the hell—why did she call you ‘Sunbae’ like she knows you? I don’t even know her! Who is she? WHO IS SHE?!”“Shut up for a second, and I’ll tell you. My head’s killing me.”“How can you say something like that to me? You threatened me with your own death! How can you say you’d die so easily to me!”Jung Woojin, who had been shouting through labored breaths, started to sob but quickly clenched his jaw, his whole body trembling with anger again. His eyes were filled with a chaotic mix of emotions, and I couldn’t help but feel exasperated as I asked:“What situation are you even talking about? Do you even know? Do you know what I was talking about with her, how long I was there, or what happened?”“That’s what I’m asking! Who the hell is she? Who is that bitch?!”“She’s a high school junior, for fuck’s sake! And stop calling her a bitch! Are you out of your mind? Have I or have I not told you not to act like this toward people I know?”I finally lost my temper and yelled, causing Jung Woojin, who had been fuming, to close his eyes for a moment. His lips, which he had been biting so hard, began to bleed.“What school? University? I never saw anyone like her when you were in college.”“She’s a high school junior! And how the hell would you know? You weren’t there when I was in high school—”I stopped myself as I recalled how Jung Woojin had stalked me during my college years. God, this guy is fucking insane. I let out a brief sigh and fell silent. Finally, Jung Woojin spoke again:“That was so long ago…”His voice was tense, and he was biting his lips again, which were already bleeding. I could see the blood seeping out.“It’s been so long…”He kept starting to speak, only to stop again, as if trying to calm himself. I could hear his teeth grinding.“It’s been years, and you still remember. Why, after all this time? Did you meet her again?”“No, we just ran into each other by chance—”“Chance? You ran into her by chance, and then you threatened me with death? So what were you—”That’s when I heard a soft voice behind me calling my name. A chill ran down my spine. My first instinct was to grab both of Jung Woojin’s hands.“Sunbae.”I shot a desperate look at him, begging him silently to stay quiet. But instead of looking at me, Jung Woojin was staring at something behind me, his face as pale as a ghost. My breath hitched in my throat as I heard her voice again.“Are you okay? Should I call the police?”“No, I’m fine. Just go.”“Are you sure you’re okay?”“Yes, I’m fine. Please, just go.”I spoke without turning around, my eyes fixed on Jung Woojin, who looked ready to pounce. His fierce gaze stayed locked ahead. After a moment of silence, I heard her voice again.“Okay… um, I’ll leave your phone here.”As her hesitant voice faded and her footsteps grew distant, I finally exhaled a long breath. I glanced back to see an empty alley with my phone lying on the ground.“You’re seriously… Fuck.”As the tension drained, the headache hit me again.“Why the hell did you bring that knife out earlier? Were you planning to stab someone? Are you out of your mind?”“Why were you smiling?”“What?”“You were smiling while talking to her. What were you saying?”When I released his wrist, Jung Woojin grabbed mine in return. He held it so tightly that I couldn’t shake free no matter how hard I tried.“It hurts, let go! For fuck’s sake, I’m warning you.”“What were you talking about?”“I told you, it was just stuff like, ‘Wow, it’s been so long! You haven’t changed at all.’ That’s it.”“Then why were you smiling?”No matter what I said, he was going to latch onto it. By now, I was sure that in his mind, I was already in some sort of relationship with her.“I just smiled while talking. My arm hurts.”He finally loosened his grip a little, but he still wouldn’t let go completely. He wasn’t shouting anymore, but looking at his face, he seemed on the verge of exploding. I sighed and was about to say something when he suddenly pulled me by the wrist and started dragging me.“Where are we going?”“We’ll talk at home.”“Fine, but let go of my hand, for fuck’s sake!”I couldn’t help but curse again. Why the hell was I being treated like this? What did I even do wrong? I racked my brain, but nothing made sense.Even though I kept telling him to let go, he wouldn’t listen. We eventually exited the alley. I couldn’t make a scene or resist too much since people might start staring. With no other choice, I followed along as Jung Woojin dragged me.When we reached the parking lot, he opened the car door and practically shoved me inside. After I sat down, he even fastened my seatbelt for me before slamming the door shut and getting into the driver’s seat on the other side.