Chapter 31
**Episode 29**
It was already the day I turned fourteen in autumn.
“So, Ain.”
“Yes?”
Uncle let out a deep sigh and spoke in a tone only I could hear.
“When are you planning to give that girl a name?”
“….”
“You took care of her, brought her here, and even taught her. It may be late, but don’t you think you should name her now?”
“…. You’re right.”
“You can’t keep calling her ‘that girl’ forever.”
There was no need to think about it.
I always referred to her as the woman or she.
Although she had the name Belia assigned to her, I had an excuse for not wanting to call her that.
It felt like I was pushing her into the narrative.
I thought it would invalidate all the efforts I had made up to this point.
“Just as I am responsible for my choices, you must also take responsibility for yours, Ain. Before we depart on our journey.”
“Yes, I will.”
“Good, give her a nice name.”
Uncle pointed out that I had been avoiding it with such excuses.
He pressed my head down as I responded and returned to his seat.
And filling that empty space was always that woman.
“Ain.”
“…. Yes.”
She always called me precisely “Ain” when addressing me.
“Are you going to the library again after work today? Or rather, you will, right?”
She smiled brightly and leaned forward, still speaking in formal language, but she had yet to be given a name.
“No, I won’t be going today. Why, do you want to do something?”
“I just want to wander about together?”
If I were to think about why it had come to this, I might as well say it was because I was a coward.
The hesitation I had as a child lingered on until now, but I kept putting it off under the excuse of being busy.
I happened to have a few good excuses, so I used them as a shield to call her the woman.
Just thinking about the things I had done so far made it sound absurd.
Moreover.
I had a name for her already thought out.
Considering my lack of skill in naming, I thought it had turned out quite well.
So I nodded at her words.
“Alright, then let’s go for a walk after work today.”
I thought it was time to say that.
“Okay. It’s a promise, Ain.”
“Yes, a promise.”
She seemed pleased with my nod and gently shook her shoulders, then returned to her seat.
And she continued to glance at the clock.
It seemed as if she was hoping the time would pass quickly, raising her head subtly every now and then.
The hands we held gave off warmth.
The small hand that I had held onto for fear of losing it had, before I knew it, become something that firmly clung to mine as if it were a matter of course.
When we stepped outside the grocery store, it was a familiar warmth enveloping my hand.
And I felt more than ever, in moments like this, how much she had grown.
Her appearance, once frail and bony.
The scars from bumps and scrapes scattered all over.
The hand that I had carefully held back then was dramatically different now—a slender, beautiful hand that felt feminine.
So I still held it carefully out of memory, but now she clung to mine tightly, as if she wouldn’t let go.
“…. Hehehe.”
Lately, she had been showing a strange and whimsical smile.
It was probably overflowing emotions that spilled out from her inability to control herself.
Even as she giggled, she would suddenly gaze at me with wide eyes, checking my reaction, and then fidget with her fingers.
So I spoke naturally to keep her from being awkward.
“Let’s go. Where do you want to go?”
“Um. First, I want to check out the market a little and maybe visit the square.”
Oh, please.
As soon as she mentioned the market, I immediately blurted out my objection.
“…. I’m not eating any caterpillars.”
“You’re not?”
Her desire to go to the market usually stemmed from wanting to eat two things.
One was cotton candy.
The other was roasted caterpillars.
I could not understand how she could like two types of food that could not be on the same level.
Cotton candy was a reminder of the sweet candy I had bought for her since she was young.
The roasted caterpillars seemed more like a way for her to tease me.
“I’m not eating any.”
“Really not?”
Whenever I flatly refused, she’d bring her face closer and gaze up at me with those eyes.
“No, I’m really not.”
“Really not?”
This was reminiscent of a cat in rain boots.
She would look up with those big eyes, and if I relaxed my guard, she would stab me with a rapier-like insistence.
“….”
“Really?”
As she kept asking me with that gaze, I eventually ended up surrendering and waving a white flag.
“…. Fine, I’ll eat just one.”
“Okay. Just one, Ain.”
The sight of her gleefully skewering two caterpillars onto a toothpick and popping them into her mouth was quite something.
My mouth was filled with the juice of the caterpillars once again today.
“Ain, isn’t it tasty?”
“….”
Damn it, when did a definition of ‘one’ become two caterpillars skewered on a toothpick?
“Is it not delicious?”
“…. It’s delicious.”
Whether it was tasty or miserable, I could no longer tell, but I was sure of one thing.
In a way.
The letters that would form her name were constantly making silent uproars as if they wanted to change.
Those letters that I deemed somewhat beautiful were being filled in with some not-so-good-looking letters instead.
So.
Don’t ever push caterpillars into my mouth again.
This is your final warning.
Anyway.
After wandering around the market, we slowly headed towards the square.
The stage with its lights off had its charm.
Everyone who might recognize her true self had already left for the next stage.
It felt like I had gained a little more freedom in my actions.
Before they moved on to the stage they had stepped on, the Empire, the starting point of the story, was simply peaceful.
Even the forced narrative that always acted negatively served to help maintain a peaceful daily life at times like this.
So.
“Ain, Ain. This statue of the old man is really ugly.”
“…. That’s the first Emperor of the Empire.”
We could walk together through the square and have trivial conversations.
“Yeah, the first Emperor is ugly.”
“It’s not about being ugly…, wait.”
Aside from child-like chatter, I still thought the surrounding scenery was quite beautiful.
The colors of autumn were distinctly different from other seasons.
Everything was buried in its own light everywhere.
Even the things I thought would always be blue began to show warmth, and that alone made me feel strangely cozy.
“Ain, let’s go over there.”
“I know, so slowly…, uh.”
And it seemed that the woman holding my hand was similarly excited.
She pulled me along more enthusiastically than usual.
With sparkling eyes, as if she had discovered something fun, she dashed towards a certain place.
Giggling with delight, she held my hand tightly and ran.
“This looks fluffy.”
“No, no…. This isn’t it….”
Refusing my refusal, she leapt right into the pile of leaves.
However.
The unfortunate thing was that, despite appearing fluffy and cozy, the moment you fell into it, that illusion would shatter.
“Ain…, this isn’t fluffy.”
“….”
Rather than fluffy, it was rough and prickly, and upon touching it with bare skin, it felt oddly unpleasant.
The colors were warm and vibrant, but in reality, they were nothing like that; the damp and clammy texture stuck to my body everywhere.
“Plus, leaves are getting into my clothes and it’s itchy…. But why do you look like that, Ain?”
“…. Because you dragged me here.”
So, our state, covered in leaves, genuinely resembled that of beggars.
“Then, am I like that too?”
“You’re even worse.”
So I said that and pulled her out from the pile of leaves.
Standing her upright, I shook off the leaves stuck to her clothes.
“I see…, hehehe. It’s itchy, Ain. Get the ones that are still stuck in my clothes.”
And because the process was quite ticklish, she unexpectedly laughed out loud and attempted to take off her clothes.
“Just a little longer…, no. You can’t take off your clothes outside!”
“I still have lots left. It’s easier to take off!”
While none of her statements were wrong, it was more a matter of common sense than correctness.
“No, you need to think about your age. Hey! No, stop taking them off!”
“Hehe, it’s fine since you don’t know my age. It itches, Ain.”
I was forced to put in all my effort to stop her from shedding her clothes.
Exposing the skin of a grown lady outdoors is simply unacceptable.
Besides, it wouldn’t end up as a tragic story of being caught as the gray witch, but rather an absurd tale of being arrested for public indecency and revealing that she was gray.
“Ugh!”
“Ain, don’t get angry. Just get the leaves out.”
“Don’t take them off!”
So I meant to tell her not to struggle as if she were headed towards a bad ending.
Thus, our noisy autumn welcoming came to an end.
After a considerable tussle, we finally shook off all the leaves and burst into laughter when we faced each other.
Seeing our ridiculous state, we both shared the same thought.
Perhaps because we looked scruffy, we felt like going down the alley after a long time, and our feet soon led us into that familiar yet awkward alley.
It was a dirty place with a slight stench.
It was a dark spot where sunlight barely illuminated unless it was midday.
A strange alley where only shabby and haphazard wooden shacks were merely left behind.
However.
“Ain, it’s right there.”
“…. Yeah.”
We did not feel any aversion to the things that were creeping up on us.
In a way, it felt strangely welcoming since it was a place we had spent a long time in.
So we stepped into that scenery.
We moved a little closer to the shabby wooden shack and gazed at it blankly together.
The house in which she had lived was now rotten in various places, soaked in water.
A musty smell of mold wafted from inside, and the planks that had been laid on the floor were now completely consumed by mold.
“Look here, Ain. The planks are getting older in between.”
“…. Because no one lives here anymore.”
Things that have not been touched by human hands ultimately become obsolete.
Like objects possess a heart, they require continued touching and affection to maintain that state for a long time.
Thus, the abandoned wooden shack, having lost even her warmth, was gradually crumbling away.
“Hmm, if no one lives here, it becomes old.”
“….”
The woman slowly scanned the surroundings and then slipped into the wooden shack.
Now she had grown so big that it filled the entire space, kneeling inside and gazing around blankly.
So I spoke to her.
“Are you sad?”
Saying that while looking at the decaying wooden shack in the stinky alley was quite ridiculous.
But there seemed to be mixed feelings in her touch as she fondled those remnants.
Though it might be a negative impression for me, she might be perceiving it differently.
And her response reached my ears.
“…. No. I’m okay.”
It sounded more composed and liberated than I had expected.
“Really okay?”
“Yeah, this isn’t my home anymore.”
“….”
Her smile was so beautiful as she beamed.
Climbing out of the wooden shack with great effort, she looked at me straight and continued affirmatively.
“Ain and Uncle gave me a new home, so it’s okay. This can just be left as a memory.”
She took a step forward.
Having grown even more than I had thought.
I had thought she was still a distance away, but she swiftly approached, beaming at me.
“Let’s go now, Ain.”
“….”
Now she didn’t wait for me to take her hand; she grabbed my hand and moved ahead.
So I had no choice but to alter my thoughts a little.
I had regarded her as too young.
She had swiftly matured into a grown woman.
Watching her lead the way, I acknowledged that fact.
And I uttered.
“Asha.”
“Hey? Ain, what’s that?”
That was the name I had pondered over and over for her.
“Your name.”
“Um…?”
It was my effort to not want to attach the name Belia to her once more, after much thought.
“If you don’t like it….”
“I like it! I love it, Ain!”
So I embraced her as she smiled more brightly than ever before.
“…. I’m glad.”
“Thank you, Ain. Thank you….”
Those words were my first utterances.
“Yes, Asha.”
“…. Yes, Ain.”
I called her name.
I hoped this name would turn her misfortunes around.