I Lost My Memory and Had Too Many S-Class Girlfriends

178 – Han Seo-jun’s Memories (2)

Bubble bubble.

My consciousness gradually subsided as if I was sinking deeper into the ocean.

As I sank to the bottom of the deep sea and gradually lost consciousness, fragments of hazy memories began to surface.

Fragments of memories that float around, foaming at the mouth.

I slowly reached out to those objects that were so tightly bound by old chains that I could no longer see them.

I held tightly to that piece of debris that glowed dimly like an oil lamp in the dark, lightless sea.

Then, with a creaking sound, the lock that had held the chain tightly shut slowly released.

Fragments of memories that had been freed from all chains began to come back one after another.

At first it was just the tip of the iceberg, but it gradually began to swell in size and soon filled my head.

The day Ji-hyeon died suddenly flashed through my mind as I tossed fragments of memories around.

Old memories unfolded before my eyes as if in a kaleidoscope.

In the city center covered in thick, bloody water.

Concrete structures that had once soared high into the sky had collapsed, asphalt roads were in shambles, and countless vehicles were left abandoned, reduced to scrap metal, rolling around on the empty roads.

The whole scene was reminiscent of a part of a destroyed world.

I was running endlessly through the middle of a half-ruined Seoul.

Every time I turn my head, all I see are corpses, dead bodies, and corpses.

Black, murky blood formed a river, and countless corpses lay on the dirty ground, abandoned like garbage.

Chunks of meat charred black as charcoal, chunks of meat pierced by long awls, chunks of meat crushed and crushed, chunks of meat torn to shreds… … .

It was truly a sight of death being met in a variety of ways.

Humans and monsters alike were reduced to pieces of flesh and buried in pools of sticky blood.

A musty, musty smell rose up, piercing my nostrils and making me gag, but I couldn’t stop walking.

Because there was someone I absolutely had to find in this hellish place.

Even though I thought that Jihyun would definitely be safe, I was trembling with an inexplicable sense of anxiety and hastening my steps.

And then.

“Ah. Seojun… … .”

A familiar voice gently tapped my ear. I instinctively turned my head. I couldn’t have misheard. Because it was the voice of the person I was desperately looking for.

“Jihyun!”

I took a step towards Inyoung, who was lying far away. There were countless corpses piled up around Jihyun.

It is literally a mountain of corpses and a sea of ​​blood.

The monsters’ corpses are piling up like mountains.

You took down that many monsters by yourself?

“… … You idiot. Why did you come here?”

Jihyun lay down quietly, using the blood as a pillow, and looked up at me with half-closed eyes.

“Haa… … Cool, you should go see someone else instead of me.”

Why are anxious predictions always wrong?

I had no idea, but Jihyun’s condition is very serious.

No, it wasn’t serious, it was close to fatal.

There was a huge hole in his abdomen, so it wouldn’t have been strange if he had lost his life at any moment.

“You, you’re hurt… … .”

I looked down at Jihyun with a crumbling face and tried to stop the bleeding somehow, but it was all in vain.

As of now, there is no way for me to do anything about it.

“… … I’m already late, haa, you know that, right?”

You’re a top 10 hunter.

What kind of weak words is the world’s best Lee Ji-hyun saying?

A wound of this level is easy, right? Right? Isn’t it?

So please, Jihyun. Please… … .

Jihyun, who had been spitting out dark red blood, slowly caressed my face with a trembling hand and a weak smile.

I couldn’t say anything and just bit my lip as I watched her caress the man’s cheek with a gentle but fleeting hand.

My heart was stained with sadness and despair.

Jihyun, who had been silently looking up at the sight, slowly begins to cry.

“… … If I had known this would happen, ugh, I would have just said something.”

Jihyun, who was staring at me with a voice mixed with a hint of despair, soon gave a weak smile and passed away.

As Jihyun’s hand slipped away, the light disappeared from her pupils.

Her chest, which had been pounding intermittently, soon became quiet, and blood flowed down from between her lips.

Looking at Jihyun’s pupils that had completely disintegrated, I shook her shoulders tightly with my trembling hands.

I continued to shake Jihyun’s body as if denying reality, but I gritted my teeth at the sight of her swaying like a ball-jointed doll.

“Jihyun… … ? Lee Jihyun… … Hey, come on, don’t joke around.”

Jihyun didn’t say anything and just kept her silence, her hair fluttering.

“Jihyun, you, really… … .”

Jihyun died?

That Lee Ji-hyun?

“Please… … .”

I couldn’t help but shed tears while holding Jihyun’s body.

That day, my childhood friend who I had been with since we were little lost his life.

***

Suddenly, I wondered, what kind of person was Jihyun to me?

Just a childhood friend? An old connection? A close friend?

There are countless words that can be used to define the relationship between Jihyun and me, but it involves a subtle relationship that is difficult to explain simply with words.

There was a time when I was jealous and envious of Jihyun like a blind child.

Whenever I was with Jihyun, I felt depressed, and the dark inferiority complex and sense of entitlement that started out as a mean feeling tormented me to the fullest.

But on the other hand, I admired Jihyun.

Didn’t he rise to the ranks of the top 10 on his own, beating out all the capable people in South Korea?

It was certainly a source of great pride for me that my friend, who had been my companion since childhood, had become famous in the world.

So I cut off contact with Jihyun and distanced myself from her, but deep down I still supported her.

Anyway, Jihyun was a very precious person to me.

Aside from my parents who have already passed away, the person I have the deepest connection with is Jihyun, so I watched her rise to fame as a hunter and congratulated her.

But Jihyun died in front of my eyes.

He said he died.

– What? What are you doing here?

– Huh. You idiot, why are you pretending to know now?

– What are you talking about? Stop ticking for no reason? Oh, my.

– Hey, hey! You! Really! Don’t leave me alone! Aren’t you going to stand there?!

Memories of Asrai Jihyun came to mind and then quickly disappeared.

Jihyun’s voice that I will never hear again.

It is just a memory, stored deep in my mind.

There will never be a time when I can talk about Jihyun and Hahahoho while I’m alive.

… … If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have cut off contact.

Even if I die, I thought I would die first.

There are many cases where people die violent deaths while working as mere porters.

He lived as a porter, half-dead, with the thought that if he died while climbing the tower, he would be able to see his parents.

But why did you die first?

When I first heard the news of my parents’ death, my comfortable world shattered like a glass teacup.

My daily life of occasionally doing internet broadcasts while dreaming of working in a hilarious broadcasting job, laughing and chatting with friends, and drinking and chewing on snacks, was completely ruined.

Since my parents were skilled hunters, I was secretly reassured.

There was endless talk about accidents caused by monsters, but honestly, I thought it was someone else’s problem.

It’s like a car accident, something that can happen to anyone, but I’m complacent and think it won’t happen to me.

But tragedy always strikes suddenly.

When my parents passed away, I quit my dream broadcasting job, dropped out of college, and lost touch with my friends.

In order to kill monsters and climb the tower, he abandoned the comfortable life he had been living and stepped into the jungle of survival of the fittest.

As the law of the jungle dictates, I naturally thought I would die first, but it was actually Ji-hyeon who died.

After Jihyun died following my parents’ death, I realized that Jihyun had a greater role in my life than I had thought.

Moreover, I saw Jihyun die right before my eyes.

A feeling of helplessness and despair at not being able to do anything while Jihyun is dying.

I never wanted to feel that sense of loss so absurdly painful again.

So, I made a promise in my heart.

I’m determined to become stronger by any means necessary.

I gave in to the dark emotions that were slowly boiling up from the depths of my heart and decided to go find an old friend I had lost contact with for a long time.

That person is none other than Ryu Ye-rin.

I was a girl who had always followed Yerin around, calling her “Teacher! Teacher!” since a long time ago, but for similar reasons to Jihyun, I felt burdened and slowly started to distance myself from Yerim, and now we are living with our ties almost cut off.

But now he comes and asks for help, ra… … .

haha.

That’s a really fucking stupid idea.

It is also a method that a human being, not a beast, would never choose.

If it were me in the past, I would never have thought of going to Yerin and asking for help, even if I were to die soon.

You just cut off ties and cut off contact without permission.

How can you possibly have the decency to ask for help?

But not now.

I put aside my conscience and pride.

It was because Jihyun’s death caused a huge change in my heart.

I’d be willing to put a plate of iron on my face if it meant I could kill the monster and climb the tower.

Even if I continue to work as a porter, it’s obvious that I’ll end up dying a violent death before I know it, let alone kill the monster.

If you want to become even a little stronger, you desperately need external support.

“How shameless.”

So I went to find Yerin.

Yerin’s reaction was just as I expected.

Yerin’s face, which had not been seen for a long time, felt as cold as a cold wave in the north.

Yerin looks at me with a sharp gaze and then laughs.

“You only come to me when you’re feeling sad?”

The red eyes gleamed darkly.

Blood-red eyes are staring at me.

What I felt in those eyes was contempt, disgust, and disdain.

“Why should I? Should I help you?”

He always responds with a cold attitude.

“That’s why you called me here?”

Sigh, Yerin let out a sigh and shook her head.

“Tsk. I just wasted my time.”

Yerin clicked her tongue briefly.

“Hey.”

He hums with the corners of his eyes raised.

“Did you think I’d come running to you like I used to when you called me?”

“… … .”

“If you say one word, do I look like that little kid who liked me like an idiot?”

“… … .”

Yerin’s gaze was sharp like a blade that had just been forged, and it seemed to cut into the skin.

Although his eyes were a mixture of resentment and hatred, I could tell that there were complex emotions mixed in them, whether I knew it or not.

The current Yerin is known for her cruel and vicious nature, to the point where she is called Iron-blooded.

After breaking off relations with me, he went to the Seong clan and defeated his brothers and sisters, and almost forcibly took the position of the head of the clan.

He mercilessly cut down those who opposed him and made an example of them.

If there was a faction that resisted, he purged them without hesitation.

A girl like that would meet me in person and talk to me like this?

This is clear evidence that you still have feelings for me.

If it were someone else, I wouldn’t have even met you.

To me, expressing my resentful feelings in such a detailed manner is no different from a positive signal. And I do not intend to miss this opportunity.

“… … When will you abandon me? Why now?”

Yerin blurted out a word as if she was talking to herself very quietly, then abruptly stood up from her seat.

“Okay. I’ll wake up first and then you don’t come to me again about this kind of thing.”

After glancing at me once, he slowly walked away.

Yerin’s back looked pitiful, as if she was asking to be caught.

I hesitated for a moment, then pulled myself together and slowly walked away. I grabbed Yerin’s shoulder and asked her to help me again.

But Yerin just glared at me with a contemptuous expression.

He suddenly grabbed my wrist tightly and threw me with all his might.

I fell down without even being able to do anything, and Yerin looked down at me with an annoyed expression, but I could see her pupils shaking slightly.

The fact that Yerin, who usually had a blunt face and a cold expression, showed her disgust so openly meant that she had a lot of feelings for me.

Because he had more affection for her than anyone else, he showed hatred as a backlash.

If you hated me unilaterally, you wouldn’t have met me in the first place.

The feelings that Yerin feels towards me right now are most likely love and hate.

A feeling of liking but disliking.

I decided to capitalize on that feeling.

It was a really incombustible idea, but since Jihyun had died, I steeled my resolve.

As long as I can kill monsters, I don’t care if I become trash.

Because I want to kill those damn monsters.

I will somehow become stronger and climb the tower.

certainly.

***

How much time has passed like that?

I was able to become stronger thanks to Yerin’s help.

I became somewhat accustomed to using my abilities, and with the help of the Seongcheon Church, I was able to grow steadily day by day.

Before I knew it, I had become famous as a hunter, and Yerin was always by my side, supporting me even when I was out and about.

He would always say things like he didn’t like me or that I was annoying, so he told me not to laugh, but on the outside he showed his disgust, but I could tell that he cared about me.

Although I had been using Yerin unilaterally, I promised myself that I would repay the favor someday.

“ah.”

Then one day.

Whoa! Blood spurted out.

Droplets of reddish blood were scattered.

His ashen hair is covered in bright red blood.

Yerin’s body is falling apart. Why? No, why you?

“Coolook! Coolook… … Ah… … .”

Yerin weakly hugs me.

The monster that attacked Yerin also falls down after being hit by a counter.

I instinctively grabbed Yerin’s body and held on tightly.

As I glanced around, I noticed that Yerin’s right hand was missing.

The area below the shoulder is bare. It was completely ripped off. Yerin’s right arm hovered in the air and then rolled on the ground. Blood gushed out from her shoulder.

I tried to quickly stop the bleeding on his shoulder, but I could see large teeth embedded in his chest and side.

A molar that penetrated deep into the body, crushing the ribs.

It has strong toxicity and is very difficult to treat.

Plus, you got stabbed in the vital spot.

If you don’t treat it right away… … .

“Yerin!”

“Ah… … This… … Cool… … .”

“Why you!”

“I just… … misstepped… … .”

If Yerin hadn’t pushed me, I would have lost my life.

“How many times have I told you, Kook-kook… … not to… … dig… … in so forcefully… .”

“Oh, it’ll be okay, Yerin. Treatment, yes. Treatment will do. Don’t worry. I’ve prepared plenty of antidotes and treatment liquids.”

“You know very well that it’s a complex poison and cannot be properly detoxified. Potions won’t help either. Cough. Oh, I never thought I’d make such a mistake… … .”

He spits out blood, muttering an excuse that wasn’t an excuse, saying that he accidentally hit her instead.

I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip as I looked at the sight.

“But do you remember?”

Yerin cried out in a trembling voice while holding me in her arms.

“When you first met me… … .”

“ah.”

“I was resentful towards my mother, saying that my father abandoned me because of me. So I was kicked out of the house and wandered the streets at night… … .”

“Yerin, don’t talk. You need to rest.”

“Do you remember when I was just staring blankly into space in the park and some punks started picking on me? You helped me… … .”

Yerin smiled faintly.

“You could tell he was scared just by looking at me, teacher… … He can’t even fight, but he was acting like an idiot… … At the time, I wondered what kind of person he was… … We met a few times at the park after that… … He even helped me when I almost got hit by a car… … He suddenly started nagging me… … I just thought he was a really nosy person… … .

Edelin, who was nearby, hurriedly administered first aid, but it didn’t have much effect. We poured the treatment water together, but it was the same. What the heck. Why wasn’t it working?

“You know, I was really shocked when I realized that my mother didn’t love me. It was just… … because I was my father’s daughter… … and the fact that she cherished me as a bridge between me and my father… … I wandered around for a long time… … .”

“Okay, Yerin. Stay still. Don’t say anything more.”

“So I looked at my mother and thought, I won’t become a person like her. What is that man… … Why is he clinging to her so much when he was abandoned… … .”

“Yerin, please.”

Despite my earnest words, Yerin continued to talk.

“But in the end, I ended up like my mother… … .”

He smiles faintly with a dazed face.

“I knew that you were a burden to me, teacher. But when you just cut off contact, I really resented you a lot… … I cried all the time… … I knew that even if I went to you on my own, it would only be a nuisance, so I couldn’t approach you. But you came to me first… … I was actually really happy, right? I guess I’m really stupid.”

“Yerin.”

“I decided to blame you, but when I saw your face again, there was something I couldn’t blame you for. It’s strange. I can be cruel to other people, but why can’t I be cruel to you…?”

The light in Yerin’s pupils was slowly fading.

“Ah… … Teacher… … Are you there… … ?”

“Yerin? Your eyes… … .”

“I wanted to see your face, teacher. I can’t see… … Cough, cough… … Ha… … .”

The eyes that were always bright red sank lower.

All that was left in the eyes from which the light had disappeared was pitch-black darkness.

“I… … thanks to you, teacher… … I was able to come this far. If I hadn’t met you that night… … I probably wouldn’t be alive today… … .”

The eyelids are slowly closing.

“So don’t blame yourself too much… … I’m going to die because it’s time for me to die… … .”

Yerin stretched out her left arm toward me, trembling.

“May your wishes come true… … .”

“ah.”

He clenched his left hand, which was covered in sticky blood.

“… … Teacher, warm your hands… … … … Ah… … .”

With those words, Yerin met her death.

“Clan leader… … .”

“This can’t be happening.”

“eww.”

The members of the Black Swordsman clan looked at me and Yerin with complicated expressions.

Among them, there were clan members who looked resentful, saying that Yerin died because of me.

Although Yerin was an object of fear for her clan members, she was a respected figure and there were quite a few people who truly followed her.

If I hadn’t forced myself so hard, Yerin wouldn’t have died so meaninglessly.

It was my fault that Yerin died.

Because of my greed.

“… … .”

“Are you okay?”

Edelin Charlotte, the saintly daughter of the Seongcheon Church, came to me with a very kind expression and comforted me.

“As Ms. Ryu Ye-rin said, don’t blame yourself. So don’t blame yourself too much, Mr. Seo-jun.”

“… …Is that so?”

Following Jihyun, Yerin also died.

Even if the deaths of my parents and Jihyun were unavoidable, Yerin’s death was entirely my fault. Even if I hadn’t pushed myself too hard, even if I hadn’t attacked the tower with Yerin, even if I hadn’t asked Yerin for help in the first place.

Yerin isn’t dead, right?

“Seojun, don’t be too upset. You’ll just have to climb to the top.”

“Are you asking me to believe that ridiculous rumor? That the first person to conquer the tower will be able to make a wish?”

Edelin nodded her head with a smile without saying anything.

“I guess we’ll have to climb the tower to find out if it’s true or false, right?”

“… … .”

Yeah, that’s right.

Anyway, I can’t just quit now that I’ve come this far.

Because we can’t make Yerin’s death a dog’s death.

“… …a wish.”

The more I carried death on my back, the more I couldn’t give up.

Even if it was a rotten rope, if there was a ray of hope, I had to hold on to it somehow.

You have to think like that to be able to endure it yourself.

Even though I knew it was a vain hope, I never gave up hope until the very end.

So I climbed the tower.