I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

Seo-Ah spread her arms wide.

Her fingertips trembled.

It seemed like a decision made after much hesitation.

Yet, she was smiling brightly.

“Let’s make up.”

Make up?

Make up for what?

Did we fight?

Did we?

If we did, it must have been my fault.

Was Seo-Ah forgiving me?

That thought made me pause.

Even though it was a brief moment, countless thoughts crossed my mind.

I would hug her.

That was the conclusion I reached.

How should I hug Seo-Ah?

I couldn’t delay any longer.

If I saw Seo-Ah disappointed again, I would rather die.

I didn’t want to disappoint her, and I didn’t want to hurt her.

Softly.

I approached her and embraced her.

But not too roughly.

So that she wouldn’t get hurt, but just enough for her to feel warmth.

“Are we friends again?”

Seo-Ah spoke.

In a small voice.

Like a child whispering before falling asleep.

“We’ve always been friends.”

While holding Seo-Ah, I didn’t say anything else.

I could feel her body temperature, which had grown faint from being neglected for too long.

“Now we’re going home, right?” she asked.

We needed to go home.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

“But you know.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not a monster, right? I don’t look like one, do I?”

Was she bothered by what Cheon Yoo-Hwa had said?

Of course, if you looked only at the magic leaking out, she might seem like a pretty strong monster.

But she wasn’t a monster.

“There’s no way you’re a monster.”

“Right? Right?”

Her voice sounded desperate.

Suddenly, I wondered what Cheon Yoo-Hwa was doing.

I was grateful enough that he wasn’t interfering.

When I glanced to the side, I could see him just watching us silently.

It didn’t seem like he had let his guard down.

“I can go home, right? I won’t suddenly turn into a monster, will I?”

“Yeah, that won’t happen.”

“Ahaha, thank goodness. I don’t want to become a monster. I won’t use the drug anymore, and anyway, I’m still human…”

“Let’s go home.”

Seo-Ah smiled.

Very slowly.

Radiantly.

I had to protect that smile.

I had to.

The smell of medicine lingered.

***

I walked alongside Seo-Ah.

Her hand was in mine.

It was a bit cold. No, it was very cold.

I wondered if I should hold her hand more firmly.

But then, would I squeeze too hard and hurt her?

So I just tightened my grip slightly with my fingers.

Seo-Ah said nothing as she held my hand and walked.

Cheon Yoo-Hwa silently stepped aside to let us pass.

He seemed to have understood the situation to some extent.

The car was broken, so how would we get home?

The road was quiet.

Too quiet.

It had been so chaotic before.

The monsters seemed to have been mostly dealt with.

After all, Cheon Yoo-Hwa coming to me likely meant Rena and Cheon Yoo-Seong had handled the rest.

We walked.

Crumpled leaves scattered across the cracked asphalt.

The only sound was the rustling whenever the wind blew.

Seo-Ah kept her head slightly lowered.

Not once did she look at the sky as we walked.

“You know,” Seo-Ah suddenly spoke.

“Yeah?”

“Then…”

Seo-Ah kicked at the asphalt with her toe as she spoke.

“We’ll eat together, play, and… yeah. We’ll live like we used to, right?”

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

“Really?”

Seo-Ah stopped and looked up at my face.

“Really. I promise.”

Seo-Ah started walking again.

Whenever she stumbled as if she might fall, I steadied her by holding her hand.

I wasn’t in great condition myself.

But I managed to stay upright.

It was a tiring day, but I didn’t feel tired.

Because Seo-Ah was by my side.

Because I was holding her hand.

The faint smell of medicine still lingered.

The scent clinging to Seo-Ah’s clothes.

The drugs.

The drugs were still a problem.

With purification skills or some of the skills I’d recently learned, I might be able to treat her.

Probably.

Using the Saintess might also be an option.

Anyway, it was a happy day.

There were still so many things I didn’t understand, but I hoped it wasn’t a dream.

Because Seo-Ah was beside me.

Yeah.

Because Seo-Ah was here.

Thunk.

“Huh?”

Seo-Ah pushed me away.

Was she telling me to let go of her hand?

Why?

“Seo-Ah? What’s wrong?”

“Ah… It’s, um, I just remembered something I have to do.”

“What?”

Seo-Ah’s state turned strange again.

Had I failed to completely reassure her?

But she didn’t let go of my hand.

“I need to repay my debt. Only then can I return to being normal.”

“…Debt?”

What was she talking about?

Seo-Ah smiled, but she looked uneasy.

“I’ve been too happy on my own. You’ve been suffering and in pain, but I’ve been too happy because of the drug. That’s not right.”

Happy?

No way.

“I was happy all by myself. All the time. So this is a debt I owe. You’re covered in wounds, and I’m…”

Being happy was supposed to be something to celebrate.

In general.

But in Seo-Ah’s case, something was twisted.

Seo-Ah tried to pull her hand away, but I didn’t let go.

“To put it in a metaphor, there’s a spider in my head. But it’s a happy spider, and it’s been raising other spiders. So there’s a happy farm. But I didn’t feed them.”

It’s hard to understand.

I couldn’t grasp the concept of owing a debt.

Even if Seo-Ah felt happiness, why?

Was she feeling guilty about the pleasure that was forced upon her?

“You didn’t owe a debt.”

“I did. I didn’t suffer the pain I was supposed to.”

She had already suffered more than enough pain for one person.

She had surpassed that long ago.

“So, I… I need to endure pain…”

“No.”

“But, but… I need to pay it back to become a normal person. You prefer me when I’m okay, don’t you?”

I was about to say she was fine just the way she was, but it was clear that Seo-Ah didn’t think so.

Seo-Ah twisted her hand again, trying to free it, but I stopped her.

“I have to be normal. With this trashy body, with this trashy mind, moving as if I’m half-dead… it’s disgusting.”

“No…”

“I looked in the mirror. I know I’m a monster, but you’re too kind and want to treat me like a person.”

“You’re not.”

You’re not a monster.

“I am a monster. Something keeps howling in my head. It’s probably my brain.”

She didn’t stop talking.

“But, but my brain must already be rotten, right? Can something rotten howl? Maybe only 10% of it’s rotten? If so, what am I? Can I ask what I am? A rotten something? A scream? Or just… tuna? Ahaha.”

Her words were difficult to follow.

Delirium laced with madness.

Her mental state was visibly broken.

She smiled as if she were happy, but her words were utterly strange.

No, she’s not broken.

But no matter how much I told myself that, I couldn’t ignore the reality.

“Ah, oh. Sorry, sorry. I just said something weird. You won’t hate me, will you?”

Seo-Ah spoke with a worried expression.

“I won’t hate you.”

I don’t hate you.

Quite the opposite.

I love you, though I rarely said it aloud.

Was it because I was embarrassed?

Come to think of it, neither Seo-Ah nor I openly said things like “I like you.”

Maybe in a diary, at most.

– “I really like Si-Hoo.”

Ah.

Every time I remember that, I feel like I’ll die from guilt.

“Right? Right? But… aren’t you going to let go of my hand? I have something to do.”

“Sorry…”

I’ll keep holding on.

Don’t go somewhere else.

“…Oh! Right. I owe you too. I borrowed money for the medicine but never paid you back. I’m sorry.”

Medicine?

She must mean the money she borrowed from the Academy.

“It’s okay. You can forget about that.”

“Ah…”

She shuffled her feet, as if still uneasy about it.

There’s no need for that.

How can I ease Seo-Ah’s worries?

Why is she feeling guilty?

I didn’t understand.

You’re the biggest victim here.

Why?

Why does the victim feel guilty?

No matter how many times I asked myself, no answer came.

“It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Those were the only words I could offer.

Would it be all right to hug her?

Now Seo-Ah wasn’t trying to pull her hand away anymore.

Could I hug her?

Really.

I just wanted to.

As I leaned toward Seo-Ah, I noticed something on her neck.

I hadn’t realized it during our earlier embrace.

Something was there.

Something odd—letters?

“This—”

As I reached out to check, Seo-Ah immediately twisted away.

“Ah, ah.”

She panicked.

“Did you see it? Did you see it? You saw it, didn’t you? You saw it? Ah. I hate that. That’s…”

There’s something there.

Something I felt I needed to confirm.

But Seo-Ah hated it.

“Ah, I didn’t see it.”

“Liar, liar, liar. I’m not showing it to you. I don’t want you to see. Not you. Just you. That’s all you need to know. Got it?”

“Yeah. Whatever it is, if you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

“Ah… ugh… it’s nothing! Nothing. If I wash it, it’ll disappear. It will.”

Seo-Ah seemed to be on the verge of panic.

What was she so desperate not to show me?

What could it be?

I had no idea.

If she said it would disappear when washed, then…

“I-I… I’m normal. I’m a normal person, so you don’t have to worry about me. Got it? Got it? Answer me!”

“Yeah. Got it.”

If Seo-Ah reacted so sensitively, I wouldn’t press further.

I was scared too.

What could it be?

I didn’t want to ruin the relationship we had just started to rebuild.

Seo-Ah’s breathing was rough.

I waited until she calmed down.

“…Sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Ahh, Seo-Ah used to be brighter, more normal, happier, and purer, but I…”

“There’s nothing wrong. Even if there were, I wouldn’t care. So don’t worry.”

I couldn’t expect Seo-Ah to be the same as before.

And I didn’t care what she was like now.

As long as she stayed by my side.

That was enough.

“Really, is it okay?”

“Yeah. Just stay next to me.”

It didn’t matter.

Even if she’d changed a little, it was fine.

I was happy as long as Seo-Ah was with me.

I held her hand and walked.

Though I held her hand, there was now a slight distance between us.

Seo-Ah pulled up her collar as if to make sure I couldn’t see anything.

If we kept going on like this, the mood would grow too heavy.

I decided to break the silence first.

“…So, Seo-Ah, do you want to go stargazing before we head home?”

The car was broken, and it would take a long time to get back home.

It wouldn’t hurt to look up at the sky for a bit, right?

“Stars…”

From her expression, it seemed like she liked the idea.

It was a request I had delayed for far too long.

I remembered Seo-Ah hesitatingly asking me to go stargazing at night.

I had refused.

Why?

Why had I gone back to the Academy?

We should’ve just stayed together from the start.

So now, at least.