Harry Potter:Bonds of Hope

Chapter 11: 11



Chapter 11: Grieving

Draco was eleven days old, and Merlin had time flown.

They were still in the depths of Gringotts. Despite the fact that Draco's lungs were officially healed, thank Merlin for that, and he was healthy, and growing everyday, Harry was still physically recovering from the C-section. And he still had contractions every day. But nothing too terrible, thankfully.

And Severus was still rather lost in his grief. Especially during the night when nightmares would haunt him.

Harry was at a loss as to what to do to help him. He had no experience helping people with grief, or anything really, unless you count defeating Dark Lords to save the world for a bit longer.

But he tried. He held Severus after his nightmares, he held his hand, he tried to get his mind off it, and he supported him silently, or just as best as he could. Although when he became angry at himself, Harry would try and calm him down.

It wasn't Severus' fault. It was Lucius' fault.

Draco could sense that something was wrong and when Severus became particularly upset or angry he would calm him with just a few babbles and little raspberries being blown. Whenever Draco cried Severus would relax, forgetting his own pain and helping Harry to look after their baby, though.

It was hard. Watching the strongest man he had ever known be so hurt because of something he had no control over. It hurt Harry whenever the man had a nightmare and broke down in his arms. It hurt when he saw the man, his soulmate, hate himself.

It all just hurt.

Severus was holding Draco close to his chest when Amelia and Kingsley arrived, but as soon as they entered the room Severus looked up at them, glancing briefly at Amelia's flat stomach in question.

Amelia nodded at him, a small, sad smile tugging at her lips, "Three weeks, two days,"

Harry gathered that meant she was pregnant and he congratulated his friends, although he was rather confused since he hadn't been taught about pregnancy all that much before and the ritual with Death took place nine days ago.

It was then that he was informed that for women pregnancies were counted from the first day of the last period, rather than the moment of conception which it was for bearers, since there was no other way to measure a bearer pregnancy apparently, and so even though she had only been technically pregnant for nine days, she was three weeks and two days along because that was easier for the healers apparently.

The information certainly had him blushing and refusing to look at anyone in the room for a solid minute as he tried to control the heat in his cheeks. He had never wanted more details about a woman's menstrual cycle. But he heard chuckles at his reaction, even from Severus, and he was glad that the man could still find something funny despite what day it was.

It was the day of Narcissa's funeral.

All evidence had been gathered by the Aurors and they were now able to bury her.

It was just going to be a small event. Just him, Severus, Draco, Amelia, Kingsley, Healer Greyclaw, King Ragnok, Griphook, Dobby, the twins, Neville and Luna (all of whom had spent the weekend with them.)

But it was a chance to get out of the Bank and into the sunlight for a few hours.

The funeral would be held at Prince Manor. Severus didn't want the chance of anyone ruining the grave or anything. He wanted her to be safe, and in a place where her body could rest in peace.

Kingsley had offered to do the speaking, Severus was in no state to talk about his friend and had agreed to the man's help.

As soon as the teens arrived, and the goblins, it was time to leave for the Manor. They were going by portkey since that was currently the only way to enter the wards of the Manor. The family portkey.

The portkey did a rather good job of churning Harry's stomach, though, thankfully, he was able to not vomit up his breakfast. Though Draco became a tad fussy, he was easily calmed by Severus, however, who was holding him because he had more experience and could remain upright upon landing. Harry, on the other hand, was on the floor until Severus helped him up.

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need a stomach soother?" Severus asked Harry, concerned.

"I think I'll be fine, thanks. Though if that changes I will let you know," Harry said gently, smiling up at the older boy/man, "How are you? Do you need anything?"

"I… I'll be fine," Severus said, looking down at Draco and holding him a tad closer and squeezing Harry's hand.

Harry nodded in understanding, pain flashing through his heart.

Harry led the man slowly to the part of the garden in which Narcissa would be buried. The others had gone along without them to prepare the coffin for them, and to give them a moment.

The whole garden, and Manor, was gorgeous. They had visited a few days ago with the goblins to have a look and see if they could find a good spot to bury her where her body could be surrounded by love, family, beauty and peace.

They found a spot in a clearing in the forest that was filled with flowers, toadstools, fireflies, and there was a river running not too far away also. Severus said that she would have loved it. She loved forests, plants, and rivers, and nature. She would often go into the gardens of Malfoy Manor to escape and be surrounded by serenity and peace, when she could anyway. Draco loved it, too.

And Harry was sure that Draco would still love it, based on his reactions to being outside, in the garden and forest.

They found the others at the site they had found, the hole in the ground already made and prepared, the coffin hovering above it, the magic from all their wands holding it in place for the moment.

Harry heard Severus' breath hitch and he squeezed his hand gently. They went to stand at the opposite end of the hole to Kingsley who was at the head. And after a few moments of mournful silence, with nought but the sounds of nature in the clearing, Kingsley began to speak.

"Thank you all for coming today. This day is one for saying goodbye to Narcissa Lyra Black; friend, sister, mother," he said, his rich voice trembling slightly.

Harry and Severus watched as their family started to magically lower the coffin into the hole. Severus' grip on Harry's hand stayed tight, but Harry didn't care. It wasn't hurting him, and he knew Severus needed it.

"I didn't know Narcissa personally, although I rather wish I did," Kingsley said gently as the coffin hit the dirt at the bottom with a soft thud, "She lived a life of pain that wasn't deserved. And I wish that I had known her so I could have helped, and protected her and her son from the horrors they lived. She was brave in the true sense of the word. Brave in the face of fear. She fought, valiantly, to protect herself and her son wherever she could. And that is something that will forever be remembered and cherished when we think of her. A mother's love is never to be trifled with,"

Kingsley smiled sadly at Harry, who smiled back at him.

"She was kind, loving, loyal, all the things that truly matter in the world. And yes, she was cunning and ambitious, too. A true Slytherin. Though I guess you have to be to survive those conditions for as long as she did. And I solemnly swear that we, as her family, will make sure she is avenged. No one deserves this. Least of all her, a mother who just wanted her son to be safe and loved. But we will always remember her, love her, and cherish her. We will always remember her sacrifice, her fight, and we will strive to make the country, and the world, a safer, kinder place for future generations, in the hope that no one else has to experience her pain, or her struggles. And I personally strive to assure that in her new life she will be loved, looked after, and cherished in the way that she should have been. If anyone so much as hurts a hair on her head, there will be hell to pay, I promise,

"Does anyone else have anything they would like to add before we finish?" Kingsley asked gently, looking at Severus who was looking down at Draco in an attempt to ignore everything else despite the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

Severus took a second to look at the coffin in the ground and he couldn't look away, even as Harry's hand squeezed his in an attempt at comforting him.

Severus cleared his throat, "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. That I didn't get you and Draco out of there, even if it meant losing my magic, or my life. You deserved so much better. You were there for me when no one else was and I am so very grateful for you. I'm sorry I couldn't do better by you. I remember when you told me you were pregnant. How terrified and happy you were. I remember when you gave birth, because for some reason you allowed me in the room. You wanted me there, at the birth of your son, you precious little Dragon, and it was an honour to be the person at your side when it should have been your husband. And had he been a better man, perhaps it would have been him. I remember you holding Draco for the first time and seeing the love shining out of your eyes as you looked at him. And you asked me, me, to be his godfather. As if I deserved the honour of being in your child's life like that. To be Uncle Sev," Severus laughed bitterly through his tears.

"I'm sorry for not protecting you both better in the past. You both deserved better and I let you down. I may have patched you back together again, but that is never enough. Will never be enough when you both deserved so much more than just that. But I promise, I swear, that I will do everything in my power to protect you both properly now, in your new lives, your new bodies, your new journeys. I will make sure you both have the life, the love, and the family that you were always meant to have. The people in your lives will love you, or they will be punished. Because I can't… I can't let you be hurt again. Either of you. Not by anyone. The world will be safe for you, one day. I promise. And for your future children, and grandchildren, if you choose to have any. All of us will work to making things right for you, and for Draco, and for the rest of the new generation. And we will be your family at the same time, your true family. We will love you, and cherish you the way your original parents failed to. You can be yourself now, Narcissa, your true self. Your soul is free. And so is your sons. I will take good care of him, sister, I promise. You're both safe now,"

There wasn't a dry eye in the clearing as Severus spoke, his voice rough and full of pain and self-loathing that made Harry hurt more than he could have imagined it doing so. Harry leant into Severus' side and laid his head on the man's shoulder as Kingsley began to finish up the service.

"With this earth your body will be safe," Kingsley said shakily as he began gently, magically, layering the soil on top of the ebony coffin, "And with us, your family, your soul will be safe, and loved, and looked after in the way you should have always been. We promise. We swear. We love you. May your body rest in peace as your soul embraces its new life filled with happiness and protection. We love you, baby girl. Always,"

"Always," was said by everyone as the last speck of earth fell into place and Kingsley charmed the grass and flowers to grow again.

As one they raised their wands to the sky, Harry and Severus having to let go of each other's hands to do so, and let their magics flow into the air for a minute before pointing their wands at the head of the grave and allowing their magics to mix and form a beautiful granite headstone that read:

Narcissa Lyra Black

May 19th 1959 - September 7th 1994

Beloved mother, sister, and friend

Always

They were gathered in the family living room of Prince Manor, all just sitting in the various sofas/armchairs dotted around the place, thinking.

Harry was holding Draco now, Severus sitting next to him, leaning back against the cushions of the sofa with his head tilted upwards as he tried not to cry. Harry was at a loss for what to do, again. He didn't have any experience with this. How was he supposed to help his soulmate?

How?

Amelia came and sat on the other side of Severus, smiling at Harry sadly before looking at the newly made seventeen year old.

"Severus," she said gently, and Severus looked at her in shock and awe, blinking away more tears that had entered his dark eyes, "I… I wanted to let you know that Lucius' trial is next week. On the twenty-third. And he will be punished severely for this, I promise. We have a lot of evidence against him. He won't be able to buy his way out, no matter what. We have seized his assets with the aid of the goblins. His lawyer wouldn't help him either once he heard the charges and saw the evidence we had against him, so he has a lower tier one who is rather useless now-"

She was cut off rather abruptly by the shock of the potions master hugging her. She smiled slightly after a few seconds though and hugged him back.

"Thank you. Thank you for going against him. Thank you for wanting her. For wanting to love her, and give her the life she deserves. She really was a good person. I'm sorry I couldn't protect her better before, but I will do so now. I promise," Severus said so quietly that only Harry and Amelia could hear him.

"I know you will, Severus. But I also know that you did what you could for them, and what happened wasn't your fault. It was never your fault Severus. You helped them in every way you could without having to leave them. You were there to love them when no one else would. Without you, without what you did for them, they wouldn't have survived as long as they did, Severus. And I know that it's tough, I know that it feels right to blame yourself, I know that you hurt, potentially more than you've ever hurt before. But know that none of this is your fault, and we'll all keep telling you that until you believe us. We're a family now, Severus. You aren't alone anymore. And you never will be again. Just like they will never be alone again. And we can fight to make sure that they, and everyone else, will never be hurt this way again, or feel like they should hurt someone this way again. The world will be safe for them one day. Because as a family we will fight for them. And families can do wonderful things when they work together," Amelia said, rubbing Severus' back gently.

And Harry watched on with a sad smile as Amelia helped Severus in a way that Harry didn't know how to. But he would do what he could until Severus believed it wasn't his fault, and even after that.

He would do his best.


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