Harry Potter:Bonds of Hope

Chapter 10: Changes

Harry woke to Draco letting out small cries. He sat up tiredly and lifted his baby into his arms, knowing instinctively that he was hungry. He smiled as Draco drank from him, his fingers running gently through the fine tufts of hair on the tiny head.

He looked besides him to find Severus still asleep, he smiled sadly at the man before blinking and taking a closer look.

He didn't know how neither of them had realised it before, although a lot had happened the past few days. But the man's dark mark was gone, for one thing. He briefly felt his forehead and was both shocked and amazed to find that his scar was no more. It was just smooth skin.

He took a shaky breath and continued looking at the older young man beside him. He was pale, more pale than anyone else Harry knew, but there was no more sallowness to his skin. No yellow tinges, no bags under his eyes, no potion's stains on his fingers. Almost as if he was a blank slate. His hair was no longer greasy. It was silky, and soft looking, still a deep black, but it wasn't greasy. His nose didn't look like it had been broken and poorly healed multiple times, and wasn't nearly as big as it used to be.

Harry remembered briefly something about a glamour being on the man. A glamour that was now gone.

He grimaced as a contraction raced through his stomach.

"Is Master Harry okay?" Dobby asked as he wandered over to them with a cloth which Harry placed over his shoulder before manoeuvring a now full Draco so he could burp him.

"Mhm, just a contraction," he mumbled, trying to breathe through the pain.

Severus shuffled next to him, blinking awake, jumping up when he saw that Harry was in pain, "Harry, are you okay?" he said, concern in his voice and eyes.

Harry smiled at him as the contraction ended, "I'm fine. Just a contraction again,"

Draco let out a little burp and Harry smiled, passing the baby over to Severus who welcomed him with a small smile, "Do you mind changing him whilst I go and freshen up a bit?" Harry asked.

"Of course not," Severus said, smiling at Harry before turning his attention to their child.

Harry made his way into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He made his way to the sink, and looked in the mirror, needing to be sure that his scar was actually gone.

And it was.

There was nothing there but his clear, still slightly tanned from his work in the summer, forehead.

He took a shaky breath as it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Not all of it, of course, because he would still be expected to do something about Voldemort. He knew it. And he would do it, if only to protect his new found family.

But that scar had caused him so much pain, so much fake friendship, so much annoyance, that it was stopping him from being able to be his true self. But now he felt like he could be. He would still have people hounding him. That he was sure of. But that mark tying him to the man who killed his parents was gone.

He could be Harry now.

Not The-Boy-Who-Lived.

He felt free.

Somewhat.

He doubted he would ever be completely free.

Unfortunately.

He just wanted to be safe, and to not be hounded by people who wanted to be friends with him because of his fame.

Was that so much to ask?

He sighed and freshened himself up, thinking about what a shame it was that Lady Magic couldn't get rid of his other scars, including the one from the basilisk. But he supposed that he could live with them, eventually. When he had had the time to heal.

If he ever got that far.

Which he hoped, beyond everything else, that he did.

He left the bathroom to find Severus sitting on the bed with Draco held securely in his arms, talking quietly to the baby who looked up at his father with wide, trusting eyes. Draco was wearing the oxygen mask again, and it tore at his heart.

But he couldn't help but smile at the sight anyway and made his way over to his family, only to stop with a gasp, gripping the footboard of the bed tight and hunching in on himself as another cramp passed through him.

"Harry, are you okay? Do you need Healer Greyclaw?" Severus said worriedly, standing and placing Draco gently on the bed before walking over to Harry and rubbing his back gently.

"No, I… I'm fine, I think. They aren't bad. If they get bad then you can call her," he said between breaths, he couldn't help but smile at the feeling of comfort and concern coming from the man behind him.

"Harry, she said one a day was the most recorded, this is your second today," Severus said.

Harry chuckled darkly, "Yes, well, I don't exactly do things normally, do I? I always have to be different," he sighed as the contraction ended and Severus helped him walk shakily around to his side of the bed and get comfortable, "I'm fine," Harry said, seeing in Severus' eyes that he wanted to get the healer, "I promise. If I think something is wrong, I will tell you, but let's not disturb her from her work more than necessary,"

"I don't think she will mind given how she mothers you," Severus said, sitting beside Harry and picking Draco back up.

Harry smiled, shaking his head, "Your dark mark is gone by the way, and your glamour,"

Severus looked shocked for about a millisecond before looking at his bare arm for confirmation, gasping at the sight.

He stared at the pale expanse of skin for about five minutes before looking at Harry in shock and awe.

"It's gone," he whispered.

Harry nodded, "It's gone. So is my scar,"

Severus' eyes glanced up at his forehead briefly before looking back in his eyes.

"And my glamour? What do I look like?" he sounded so nervous that Harry felt the need to move closer to him, and hold his hand in comfort.

"You look like you… like how you were meant to look… There are no more stains on your fingers," he held Severus' hand up and showed the man his fingers, "Your skin isn't sallow anymore. Pale, yes, but no yellow, unhealthy tinges. There are no bags under your eyes. Your hair is silky, and soft, not greasy. Your teeth are straight, and white, no yellow patches on them. Your nose is smaller, and it doesn't look like it has been broken and poorly healed in multiple places. You look healthy. You look your age. You look good,"

Severus looked shocked, and yet terribly pained, "I had always wondered why nothing I tried to do to change my looks worked," he whispered painfully and Harry felt a tug at his heart, "I thought… I thought if I looked better, then maybe people would… but I couldn't change it. Not with potions, not with spells, not with muggle things. Not with anything… Why would someone want me to be… ugly?"

Harry's heart hurt at the quiet admission from the man, "You aren't ugly, Severus. You never were,"

Severus scoffed, letting go of Harry's hand gently and placing his hand back on Draco's chest.

Harry didn't know what to say, because he understood. He had felt so ugly, so freakish, so… terrible. Still did.

He felt like nothing.

Like his only use in the world was ridding the country of Voldemort. Because that was all that people wanted and expected of him.

It was too much.

He was just a child, right? He might be legally an adult now but he was still fourteen.

But now… now there was hope.

He had a family now.

One he would do anything to protect.

But none of that mattered really. None of the outside world mattered when all that mattered to him now was his soulmate, and his baby.

There was hope for a better future. A better life.

Hope for him, for both of them, to be their true selves rather than who they had had to pretend to be.

"We're free, Sev," he whispered, "Not fully, not yet. But we are free to be ourselves now. And we will be fully free, hopefully soon, but definitely one day. We will be safe one day. Our baby will be safe,"

Severus growled protectively, "Yes, he will be, or I will torture anyone who dares to hurt him, or you,"

Harry smiled, "And I will torture anyone who dares to hurt him or you,"

"I thought you didn't like torture," Severus grinned.

"I don't. But if someone hurts my family then they have it coming to them," Harry grinned in return.

They were silent for a few moments, "We can be ourselves," Severus whispered, almost as if he didn't believe it and yet yearned for it to be the truth.

"We can be ourselves," Harry said, his voice firm as he nodded to himself mostly.

…

It was nighttime. They had gone to sleep a few hours ago but Harry was awake and feeding Draco, smiling down at the hungry baby who was trying to grip onto Harry's chest and yet having no success, so he placed his finger against the tiny palm and grinned as Draco's hand wrapped around it tightly.

"You're so strong, baby. Yes, you are," he whispered, moving down to kiss the soft head gently.

He heard a whimper from next to him and looked at Severus. His concern grew when he saw the man shuffling around, and crying even in his sleep.

"No, no, no," the man cried and Harry's heart hurt.

"Severus," he said, trying to wake the man gently, "Sev, wake up. It's just a dream," he removed his finger gently from Draco's grip and placed his hand slowly, carefully on Severus' shoulder.

Severus shot up, looking around the room quickly, almost in a daze, before his eyes landed on Harry and Draco.

"Harry," he said shakily, tears still leaking out of his eyes.

"I'm here, Sev. It was just a dream," Harry said gently.

Severus shook his head and wrapped his arms around Harry, burying his face in Harry's neck, being careful, though, not to jostle the still feeding Draco.

"She's not dead. She's not dead. I didn't kill her. She's not dead,"

The muttered words broke Harry's heart more the more they were spoken. He wanted, desperately, to do something, anything to help the man. But all he could do was hold him, because he didn't know how to help in situations like this.