DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

"Well said!"

Clap. Clap. Clap…

Apocalypse rose to his feet, applauding with genuine appreciation. "When I ascend to power, I will wield absolute control—excellently put."

Alan, basking in the spotlight, beamed with smug satisfaction. Psylocke and Archangel, despite their simmering jealousy, dutifully stood and applauded as well. Alan waved his hands, a theatrical gesture of modesty, though his expression reveled in every moment of the praise.

"Boss, you must have a deep understanding of me by now," Alan said, puffing out his chest. "After all, I'm a man of overflowing talent, whose farts smell like fragrant wisdom."

Apocalypse sighed with a hint of regret. "If only I had met you thousands of years ago, unifying the world would have been no problem."

"But I'm here now," Alan declared, striking a pose. "I will be the man silently supporting you from behind." He seemed to have said something remarkably similar to what Ra's al Ghul once said.

"You are the first person who has truly made me happy since my awakening," Apocalypse announced. "When the mutant empire is established, you will be its viceroy." Apocalypse, normally reserved and laconic, was unusually verbose today, clearly pleased to have found a kindred spirit.

At his words, Psylocke and Archangel's hearts sank, a deep disappointment washing over them. A madman had actually stolen their thunder.

"I will not disappoint you, Boss. Any enemy that stands in our way will be crushed," Alan pledged, his voice full of fealty.

Apocalypse's expression softened into one of paternal satisfaction. Such a rare and ambitious child. It's just a shame he's insane.

"You two can rest for now. I will gather information on Hydra." Apocalypse could gather information through television networks, analyzing and extracting intelligence. If he could only take over Charles's mind, he could control all of humanity within minutes.

Of course, Apocalypse's plan would never succeed. First, he couldn't handle the Dark Phoenix; second, Charles Xavier was a shrewd individual with contingencies in place. He had a twin brother, a comatose vegetable, whom he kept secretly alive as a contingency plan for transferring his consciousness should he ever face an unexpected demise. To put it crudely, who knew if it was a twin or a cloned spare body? Only Charles could pull off such a consciousness transfer and rebirth, for he was the strongest telepath the world had ever seen.

"Sister," Alan called out to Psylocke, pulling out a makeshift bunny ear headband. "I have a gift for you. I think this accessory will make your outfit even more striking." High-cut leotards with bunny ear headbands—an iconic combination.

As for where the headband came from, Alan had simply pulled two steel wires from his wheelchair's wheels, cut off the legs of his patient gown, and fashioned the accessory. For an alchemist, creating small trinkets was child's play.

"I don't want it." Psylocke glared at him, refusing. He dared to flirt with her? She wanted to summon her psychic katana and cut him down.

"Plenty of women have rejected me. Who are you, number what?" Alan slumped back in his wheelchair, throwing a tantrum. "Boss! Boss! Someone's bullying me! Is no one going to do anything?! I don't want to live anymore! They're bullying a madman!"

"…"

Psylocke rushed forward, snatched the bunny ear headband, and put it on her head. "Don't you dare give me a reason," she threatened. Having made her point, Psylocke quickly left.

Alan's defiant expression had initially invited a confrontation, and she had been ready to challenge him. But she had never expected him to shamelessly call for help.

When you're under someone else's roof, you have to bow your head. Currently, Alan was Apocalypse's favored pet, and she couldn't risk offending him. Apocalypse might even kill her.

"What are you laughing at, you pretty boy?" Alan shot a disgruntled look at Archangel, who was secretly enjoying the spectacle. Archangel's face immediately darkened, and he walked away.

"I hate people who enjoy watching drama and don't help out," Alan muttered under his breath.

In a secret Hydra safe house.

Several Hydra leaders were in a meeting. During World War II, under Red Skull's leadership, Hydra had amassed immense power within the Axis powers. Unfortunately, due to their defeat, they had to sever their overt members, and the core leadership initiated a parasitic plan. Red Skull's battle with Captain America left him presumed dead, causing HYDRA's subsidiary, Advanced Idea Mechanics, to break away. After forty years of effort, Hydra had gradually established a foothold within S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Our rise is unstoppable," one leader exclaimed. "In two or three years, when Carter retires, we can infiltrate the core departments." Among S.H.I.E.L.D.'s founders, some had passed away, and others had been successfully assassinated. Only Carter remained steadfast. Due to her seniority and protection by loyal agents, they could only wait for an opportune moment, maintaining a low-profile infiltration and avoiding aggressive actions.

Many S.H.I.E.L.D. departments, like forbidden zones, remained untouched by Hydra. These included: S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, which trained agents; the so-called "Magic Wand Bureau," also known as Division 13; the Armor Bureau, which explored parallel universes; the burgeoning SWORD initiative; and Project PEGASUS, a joint venture with the government. Project PEGASUS, being less tightly controlled, had already been infiltrated by Hydra. Furthermore, the Magic Wand Bureau had the Thunderbolts, and the Armor Bureau had the Midnight Sons, among other formidable organizations, making them difficult for Hydra to provoke.

One leader suddenly asked, "What does 'above' want?"

Above? Yes, there were forces even above Hydra, deeply hidden.

"No movement. They're probably setting up more elaborate schemes."

"I hope in my lifetime, I can see our grand vision realized."

"What vision?"

A strange voice broke the silence.

The six leaders simultaneously turned toward the sound. Unbeknownst to them, four strangers had appeared.

"Apocalypse!"

They instantly recognized the ancient mutant. They had been the ones to send the intelligence to Charles, which led to Stryker's attack on the school. They were well aware of Apocalypse's terrifying power, so none dared to move.

The world was not short of smart people. Creating devices to detect energy radiation was common. Hydra agents had detected an impossibly high energy signature even before they approached.

"Project Iron Curtain requests reintegration!" Alan gestured, using the Hydra salute.

The six leaders looked confused. Who is this crazy guy?

"What's wrong? Are Hydra's current leaders so impolite they don't even return a salute to their elders?" Alan said scornfully, walking towards the door.

Click!

The room instantly brightened.

Alan didn't forget to complain. "You deliberately set a moody light, making the room so dark. As villains, we need charisma and verbal flair. Don't bother with cheap tricks. This is a novel, not a comic or a movie. Where are the visuals? Who can see your 'atmosphere'?"

"…"

The leaders exchanged bewildered glances, unable to keep up with Alan's train of thought. They simply waited for him to express his intentions. Given Hydra's flexible nature, enduring humiliation was not new to them.

"How do you want me to proceed?" Apocalypse asked.

"Boss, just control them. Make them all obey my commands. Then, when I give the signal, coordinate with me," Alan said, conveying an air of complete confidence.

Apocalypse nodded slightly and, with a wave of his hand, completed the task. "I have implanted a psychic storm in their minds. If they disobey your command, their consciousness will be ripped apart, turning them into vegetables."

"Everyone, pull out three pubic hairs!" Alan commanded the leaders.

"You dare—" One leader tried to speak but instantly seized up, his eyes rolling back as he slumped down.

Seeing this, the remaining leaders immediately reached into their pants and placed three hairs on the table in compliance.

"Psylocke, stay with Alan and protect him," Apocalypse commanded.

"Yes!" Apocalypse, of course, couldn't fully trust Alan and ordered Psylocke to monitor his actions.

As Apocalypse finished speaking, an energy shield rose, and he teleported away with Archangel.

Instantly, the five surviving leaders looked at Alan, awaiting his orders.

(End of Chapter)

***

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