DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

Inside the base, the four members of Apocalypse's nascent team held a meeting.

"I suggest we first take over the Hellfire Club," Psylocke proposed. "Once we secure their main forces, we can proceed with further expansion."

"I disagree," Archangel countered immediately. "We should prioritize controlling the Brotherhood of Mutants. Their abilities might not be top-tier, but we can enhance them to increase their combat power. Besides, they're the most numerous and possess diverse abilities, which can be useful for many tasks."

These two, having been recruited by Apocalypse around the same time, were clearly vying for power and influence. They recognized Apocalypse's immense potential to build a vast empire and were already positioning themselves for the second-in-command role.

Alan, however, paid them no mind, pulling out his Blade of Redemption from somewhere behind his back to meticulously clean his foot.

"Do you have any suggestions?" Apocalypse's gaze turned to Alan, eager to hear the new member's thoughts.

"None," Alan stated nonchalantly. "None of your ideas will work anyway."

Psylocke and Archangel glared at him, clearly believing Alan was deliberately undermining them. A new recruit acting so presumptuously was already annoying enough.

"Do you have a better idea?" Archangel asked with a cold sneer, thinking, What kind of cunning scheme could a madman possibly devise? If he says anything wrong, I'll refute it immediately, making him worthless in Apocalypse's eyes and perhaps even getting him kicked out of the core group.

"Shut up, you pretty boy," Alan retorted, sensing the hostility. "You can only fly and shoot feathers from your wings. I don't think you're as powerful as you seem. A sniper with a Barrett can take you down easily."

"…" Archangel's face turned beet red. He had no counter-argument. His large wings made him an easy target, and he couldn't possibly wear full body armor; his metallic wings were already heavy, and adding dozens of pounds of extra weight would exhaust him.

Psylocke immediately jumped to Archangel's defense. "Please stick to the topic." Alan's ambition to quickly rise through the ranks had forged a temporary alliance between the two.

"Doesn't your thong chafe?" Alan squinted, scanning Psylocke's costume, which resembled high-waisted yoga pants, with a lecherous grin.

"Address the issue," Apocalypse said sternly, clearly displeased to see his subordinates squabbling before the mutant empire was even established.

"Alright, Boss. No problem, Boss." Alan straightened up, sitting primly. "What I meant to say is that both of their suggestions are utterly foolish and ignorant."

The atmosphere instantly grew tense. Killing intent began to emanate from Psylocke and Archangel. Alan's blunt attack was tantamount to declaring war.

"Have you ever considered that no matter whether you target the Hellfire Club or the Brotherhood of Mutants, it will inevitably lead to one outcome?" Alan paused, waiting for someone to ask, hoping for a more interactive discussion.

"What outcome?" Apocalypse asked in a deep voice.

"It will force them to ally with the X-Men to fight us," Alan said, leaning back as if strategizing, an air of confidence about him. "We are, after all, a nascent force. The Hellfire Club, the Brotherhood, and the X-Men are all established powers. They will never allow us to grow and strengthen. A new and unfamiliar enemy represents an uncontrollable risk that must be stifled in its infancy."

Apocalypse and his two Horsemen were stunned into silence. Alan's analysis was incredibly logical, and his perspective was surprisingly astute. The emergence of any new power inevitably led to suppression from established forces.

Bro, stop pretending. Did a madman really come up with this?

"So, we do nothing?" Psylocke asked seriously. She dared not offer any more suggestions, having already been humiliated by a lunatic.

"We change lanes." Alan adopted a profound expression, pulling a hot dog from his armpit and holding it in his mouth like a cigar. The prop he had used to show off with Wade in the Headmaster's office, Alan had saved, and now it served its purpose again.

He took a mighty drag from the hot dog.

POP!

Cough!

He had sucked too hard. The hot dog, still in its wrapper, flew directly into his mouth and got stuck in his throat. Apocalypse and his two Horsemen looked on with disgust. He really is sick.

Gulp!

AAAH!

He swallowed it.

He really swallowed it.

He swallowed it whole without chewing.

"Shit, I almost choked to death! I'm quitting smoking today!" Alan tossed the hot dog wrapper aside. "We should lay low. We cannot engage them in direct conflict. Instead, we must accumulate power through other channels. Step one: wait!"

"Wait!?" Archangel pressed. "Wait for what?"

"Wait for Stryker." Alan paused again. His speaking style was maddening. A normal person would just blurt everything out, but he squeezed information out like toothpaste, little by little. Yet, there was undeniable substance to his words.

"Why wait for him? Stryker is a common enemy of mutants. Do you think he'll help us?" Psylocke couldn't follow the madman's thought process and dared not think too hard, fearing she'd lose too many brain cells and go bald.

"Exactly, yeah, baby!" Alan exclaimed, standing up and putting his hands behind his back. "Two days ago, I captured Stryker and handed him over to Charles. I'm willing to bet Charles made some backdoor deal with the government and released him. But that's exactly what I expected. He would never abandon the Weapon X program, and that plays right into my hands."

"Then…" Alan abruptly turned, placing his hands on the round table. "Stryker will continue his research, capturing many unemployed mutants from society. Once the time is right, we'll intervene, rescue them, and personally kill the mastermind. Appearing as saviors in their time of dire need, they will undoubtedly pledge their unwavering loyalty to our mutant nation! Hehehehe…"

Boss, stop laughing! It's creepy!

Psylocke and Archangel were completely convinced. They felt like simpletons, with only their superpowers to distinguish them. Apocalypse, who rarely showed emotion, looked at Alan with an expression of profound appreciation, as if gazing upon the tiger of the major crimes unit.

"Wait, there's a crucial issue," Archangel said, trying to salvage his shattered dignity. "How do we find Stryker? You said you already captured him once. He's bound to be hiding deeper now."

"Excellent question!" Alan sat back in his wheelchair. "Step two: control Hydra, gain their resources and intelligence network, and I will be Captain Hydra!"

"Hydra is the most deeply hidden organization in the world. By controlling them, we indirectly control S.H.I.E.L.D. We can then use S.H.I.E.L.D. to deal with other mutants, allowing us to secretly grow stronger…"

As he spoke, Alan clenched his fist, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "When I ascend to power, I will wield absolute control!"

(End of Chapter)

***

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