Yes, It’s Me. The Obsessive Side Top

#001

“Son of a bitch.”

Wow. Was that phrase meant to be said so politely? The voice was low and measured, like a company owner calling for “Secretary Kim.” I couldn’t help but smirk at his sophisticated tone.

It was a relief. This distinguished-looking man, who seemed to be my father, didn’t appear particularly angry. If he were truly mad, he would’ve been shouting loud enough to burst eardrums, rather than speaking like this. After all, the wealthy families you see in dramas always appear hysterical. Compared to what I’d expected, this level of cursing was quite a reasonable reaction.

“You must find this kind of life entertaining, huh? Causing trouble everywhere you go, earning yourself that charming nickname, ‘son of a bitch.’”

His words were biting, yet he sounded more like an executive presenting a new product than an enraged parent. I couldn’t help but smile at this unique style of discipline, scolding me in such a gentle, soft tone. But come to think of it, it was somewhat unfair to hear such words from my own father—after all, the “son of a bitch” he was referring to wasn’t even me.

“What’s going on inside that head of yours, my dear son, that makes you act this way? Should I split it open to find out?”

Even his menacing words carried no weight when spoken so politely.

I stood at attention, listening to his words. Perhaps impressed by my upright posture, the corners of my father’s mouth twitched several times.

“You bastard. Didn’t I tell you not to hit people? That’s the hardest thing to clean up.”

I could have said, I didn’t hit anyone, but with the blood on my fists still fresh, I decided to keep quiet. Anyone could see my fists bore clear evidence that I had properly beaten someone.

“The company’s legal team might as well be your personal property now. Is such capable talent to be wasted on mere assault cases?”

I couldn’t just stand there listening to accusations about things I *hadn’t* done—even if they were things I actually *had* done. Just as I opened my mouth to protest, something flew toward me, making me reflexively squeeze my eyes shut. An intense pain shot through my forehead.

“Ugh.”

A groan escaped my lips. Looking down at the object that had thudded onto the carpet, I saw a transparent glass ashtray. Judging by the situation, it had to be what hit my forehead. Sure enough, a streak of bright red blood marked the ashtray’s edge.

Isn’t this a scene I’ve seen countless times in dramas? Experiencing it in real life was far more brutal. Surprised by the contrast between my father’s polite tone and his violent behavior, I looked at him, startled. Was this bastard supposed to get hit like this? This wasn’t how I thought it would be. A character with a broken personality who only sought pleasure—it all made sense now. He turned out this way because he was exactly like his father.

“Does it hurt? You shouldn’t feel pain. After nearly killing someone, you shouldn’t be hurting from something as small as this, right?”

Apparently unsatisfied with just throwing the ashtray, my father stepped closer and kicked my shin with the pointed tip of his dress shoe.

“Argh!”

A pained cry escaped me. Damn, this hurts like hell. Do luxury shoes have metal tips or something?

If I’d known this would happen, I should have gone straight home. At least then he wouldn’t have been wearing those dress shoes. I shouldn’t have come so obediently. I should’ve resisted and insisted on going back. I lifted my injured leg like a crane, clutching it with both hands. The pain was so intense that even pressing on it did nothing to ease the stabbing sensation in my shinbone. While I was still trying to cope with the pain, my father extended a large hand toward me.

“Hand over the card.”

“?”

What card?

I stared at him blankly until he called for Secretary Kim, who I hadn’t even realized was in the room. Right—the one who had brought me here to my father. The one who was just standing by, watching me get hit. For someone who had tried so hard to stop me during our first meeting, he seemed to have no intention of stopping my father now.

“Suspend this bastard’s cards. And confiscate his car keys.”

“Yes, Chairman.”

“Know that if you cause trouble again, I’m sending you to the military.”

“What?”

Aside from pain-filled groans, my first real response was just a dumb “What?” But I was horrified at the mention of military service, and I had to question it.

“Military service?”

Why me? Why military service? Wait—military? Damn. I’ve already completed my military service!

Why is military service even coming up here? People say they wouldn’t go through that again even for a billion won.

“Secretary Kim, get this out of my sight immediately.”

My father’s voice was resolute, dismissing me as if I were nothing more than a nuisance. Though I tried to resist as Secretary Kim pulled me away, it was useless—I hadn’t realized he was this strong.

As soon as we entered the executive elevator that connected directly to the CEO’s office, I looked over at him, feeling wronged.

“Did I really do something bad enough to deserve getting hit?”

Secretary Kim barely glanced at me, maintaining the blank, stoic look of an overworked employee. But as I continued staring, he finally opened his mouth, a hint of irritation slipping through.

“You shouldn’t have caused trouble—at least not now. The incident you were involved in hasn’t even been settled yet. If anything else happens, not even we’ll be able to help you.”

What other trouble did I cause here? Wow, this guy really is a bastard.

“Ah, damn.”

It was impossible not to swear in this body. How trashy must his life have been to deserve this kind of treatment from Secretary Kim? Thinking about it, the term “bastard” that always came up in related searches with his name suited him perfectly.

Secretary Kim, perhaps feeling a hint of sympathy, offered a bit of consolation.

“I’ll have to suspend the cards—there’s no choice. You know the Chairman’s temperament. He’ll probably double-check to make sure they’re really suspended.”

“Then what about my money?”

Secretary Kim just shrugged, his gaze fixed on the changing floor numbers. His attitude made it clear he had nothing more to say, so I touched my forehead with one hand and my shin with the other.

“Since it hurts, I guess this isn’t a dream…”

Even though it wasn’t a dream, the situation still felt surreal. Wasn’t possession supposed to happen in a more traditional way—like waking up from sleep, examining your unfamiliar body, and thinking, Ack! How am I the XX from the novel? But I hadn’t fallen asleep and woken up like this, nor had I been hit by a “possession truck” and died. And the moment of possession hadn’t even happened during the fight that caused this mess; it happened afterward, when Secretary Kim tried to stop me.

“This is pretty unfair.”

I get possessed as a chaebol character, only to immediately have my cards and car taken away. Of course it’s unfair. How could it not be? And to top it all off, they’re threatening to send me to the military if I cause any more trouble. I just finished my military service two months ago!

“That’s not right,” I muttered.

Secretary Kim glanced at me, perhaps feeling a little sorry, and added, “If you stay quiet for about a month, the Chairman will probably let up, Young Master Ha Jin.”

Young Master Ha Jin. Though that wasn’t my name, it was what Secretary Kim called me. But it was a name I knew well—how could I not know it?

The infamous Ha Jin. The webtoon character who looks exactly like me.

Yes, that’s me. The Obsessive Side Top.

* * *

Could anyone’s life be as hard as mine? As soon as I got to school, my classmates were eager to mock me.

“Did you see the news today? You were on broadcast TV!”

“What? Did Ha Jin cause another incident?”

For the record, my name isn’t Ha Jin. So the Ha Jin they’re talking about isn’t me, yet people always compared me to Ha Jin. Why? Because he’s a webtoon character who looks exactly like me.

Curious, Ji Min dramatically snatched Min Woo’s phone. After checking the content, his jaw dropped.

“Wow, it’s true. Ha Jin actually made the news! Has the world gone crazy?”

“It’s insane. Are they so desperate for news that they’re using webtoon characters?”

I wished my classmates would pick one: either mock me or be shocked by this whole situation.

“Is it about power abuse? Was Ha Jin known for that?” Ji Min asked, looking curious.

Min Woo replied with his usual know-it-all attitude. “Power abuse? That’s just the beginning. He does every awful thing you can think of—total bastard. Don’t you know how famous he is? Ha Jin equals bastard. Don’t you know that equation?”

“Well, I don’t read webtoons.”

Annoyed by their pointless chatter, I snatched the phone from Ji Min’s hand.

On the screen, an anchor sat at a desk, with a large title behind them: [How Long Will We Tolerate Chaebol Power Abuse?] In the upper right corner of the screen, there was a picture of Ha Jin, the webtoon character, prominently displayed like a wanted criminal.

Yes, Ha Jin—the infamous webtoon character everyone calls a bastard—was being used as reference footage on broadcast news. When I saw this scene on TV while getting ready for school this morning, I’d stopped what I was doing and blinked several times, screaming internally. This can’t be real.

“Check out the comments. You’ll die laughing,” Min Woo suggested.

Following his lead, I scrolled down to the comments section.

– WTF LOL why is our bastard on here?

– Ha Jin? Why pull power trips, you punk? You don’t get caught for violence and your messy private life, but you make the news for power abuse?

– Ha Jin, it’s grandma. Tsk, you can’t do that.

– Ha Jin’s debut on broadcast TV! Marking XX/XX/XXXX as a special day.

– If you don’t fall for Ha Jin’s sub-villain disease, are you even human?– Ha Jin, my heart swells seeing your face on the news first thing in the morning. You bastard.

– What is this? Some cartoon?

– └ That’s our Ha Jin!

– └ Ha Jin? Who’s that? Why does this police sketch look like a cartoon?

– └└ LOL I’m dying

– └└ Police sketch—are you crazy?

– └└ LOLOLOL police sketch LOLOLOL

– └└ Someone please explain to this newbie LOLOLOL  – └└ It’s from a webtoon called The Lives of the Golden Spoons. The sub-villain Ha Jin. AKA, certified bastard: super handsome, super rich, super terrible personality…

     – └└└ ?????

      – └└└ LOL this person doesn’t get it!!!

– └└└ Such a concise explanation! Perfect summary. You could totally teach a class on Ha Jin.

– Is the news on something? How did this footage even get approved? That’s from an R-rated BL webtoon!

– While the author tries to crash stocks with Ha Jin’s insane antics, here we are, getting swept up in the chaos. The side effects are no joke. Proud of our bastard Ha Jin, now even acknowledged by the news.

– (Comment deleted)

  – └ Please, take this down. The webtoon might get pulled due to controversy. I heard the creator hates attention.

  – └└ What did it say?

  – └└ It was about someone who looks like Ha Jin.

  – └└└ Are you serious? A look-alike? Our Ha Jin exists in real life? Spill the details!

  – └└└ Apparently at some university…

  – └└└ No way, A University? Must be smart! I’m giving up my dream of being his junior.

  – └└└ (Deleted) He’s actually a senior in our department LOL. Looks exactly like him IRL. Everyone went nuts when he came back from the military. The Lives of the Golden Spoons basically became required reading thanks to real-life Ha Jin.

I stopped reading and tossed the phone back to Min Woo.

“That’s just how rich people roll, huh? Throwing phones around?” he joked, clearly trying to catch another “incident” in the making.

Great. My head throbbed just thinking about the gossip waiting for me today.

“I’m telling you, the author is from our school. The setting is obviously based on our campus. And don’t you look exactly like Ha Jin? They should at least pay you if they’re using your face.”

“Min Woo, have you actually read it?”

“Of course! Gotta support my friend who’s apparently in it.”

“Isn’t it R-rated? Doesn’t it cost money to read?”

“I paid for it! Haven’t you seen it yourself?”

Unable to tolerate my classmates’ teasing any longer, I got up. Min Woo tried to stop me, maybe feeling a bit sorry, but I brushed him off.

“So cold. You’ll be getting a lot of attention today. Want to borrow a cap? I brought one.”

“Oh, Min Woo, why did you bring a cap? You never wear caps. Don’t tell me it’s for Ha Jin?”

“We’re friends. Gotta look out for you.”

“No, thanks.”

I rejected the cap he was holding out and left. Walking to the lecture hall, the stares were ten times worse than usual. Now that it had been broadcast on the news, everyone who’d vaguely suspected would know for sure. I was a genuine celebrity now.

‘Damn that webtoon! Damn Ha Jin!’

My normal life had been completely ruined because of him.