What is this Dimensional Chat???

Kurumi sat at the breakfast table, a pout on her face as she rubbed her hips gingerly. Her usual confidence seemed to have taken a hit after last night's... experience.

Valiana, ever the teasing one, grinned mischievously at her. "So... how was it?"

Kurumi shot her a glare, her cheeks flushed with both embarrassment and irritation. "You... No one warned me he's that intense! My hips feel all wobbly now." She crossed her arms with a huff. "I finally understand what you meant about not being able to handle him alone."

Kiyohime, sitting beside her with a calm yet knowing expression, sipped her tea and smirked. "We did try to tell you, but you brushed it off. There's a reason we welcome new members to this family-you didn't believe us, did you?"

Kurumi clicked her tongue, muttering under her breath. "I thought you were exaggerating. Now I know better..."

Just then, Satria walked in, carrying plates of food with his usual relaxed demeanor. "Here you go. Breakfast is ready," he announced, setting down steaming plates of perfectly crafted omurice.

The golden aroma filled the air, and all eyes turned to the food. Valiana and Kiyohime leaned in, their mouths already watering.

"Thank you, Danna-sama," Kiyohime said sweetly, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, Hubby~" Valiana chimed, doing the same.

Kurumi watched the scene unfold, blinking in surprise as her new "rivals" kissed Satria as though it was the most natural thing in the world. She narrowed her eyes and sighed. "My, my... So this is the breakfast routine, huh?"

Satria chuckled. "You don't need to overthink it. Just eat. You'll love it."

Kurumi raised a brow as she picked up her fork and took a small bite. The moment the flavors hit her tongue, her eyes widened in amazement. "This is incredible! You can cook too? Is there anything you can't do?"

Valiana smirked, clearly enjoying Kurumi's reaction. "Told you. He's full of surprises. Go on, admit it-you're falling for him all over again."

Kurumi's cheeks turned crimson, but she refused to admit defeat. "Hmph. Don't get ahead of yourselves. It's just really good, that's all."

After a moment, Kurumi set her fork down and fixed Satria with a curious gaze. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask. How did you manage to stabilize Zafkiel?" She crossed her arms, leaning slightly forward. "I already tested it-and unlike before, I don't feel my lifespan decreasing. What did you do?"

Satria blinked at her sudden shift in tone, his expression turning thoughtful. "Oh, that," he said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I just... trusted my feelings."

Kurumi's brow twitched, and she tilted her head. "Your feelings?"

Valiana couldn't suppress a laugh. "Here we go. He's about to give you one of his trademark 'childish genius' explanations."

Satria cleared his throat, ignoring her teasing. "Okay, so it's like this: Zafkiel's power was out of sync with you, kind of like a clock that's ticking too fast. I used my energy to calm it down, sort of like... singing a lullaby to a restless baby."

Kurumi's mouth fell open slightly. "A lullaby?"

He nodded earnestly, completely serious. "And then, with the Ope-Ope no Mi, I adjusted your connection to Zafkiel. I just thought of it like rewiring a toy that's short-circuiting-simple stuff."

Kurumi stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. "Simple? You're telling me you repaired a dimension-warping, time-manipulating Angel with a lullaby and the mental equivalent of tinkering with a toy?"

Satria shrugged. "Well... yeah. I mean, it worked, didn't it?"

Valiana was practically doubled over with laughter at this point, and even Kurumi couldn't hold back the faintest smile. "You're an idiot," she muttered, shaking her head. But despite her words, there was a softness in her tone-a warmth that hadn't been there before

"Maybe," Satria said with a grin. "But I'm your idiot now, right?"

Kurumi's face turned scarlet again, and she grabbed her glass of water, hastily taking a sip to hide her expression.

The room filled with light laughter as the family enjoyed their breakfast together, the warmth of their bond growing with each shared moment.

•

Satria stood outside an abandoned factory, the dim glow of his cigarette flickering in the cold night. He wore a black hoodie jacket, blending into the shadows. He exhaled a plume of smoke, his sharp eyes scanning the area. Moments later, five silhouettes slipped into the factory.

Not long after, five figures approached from the opposite direction. Satria straightened, flicking his cigarette to the ground and crushing it underfoot.

"You must be Kokabiel," he said, his tone calm but edged with caution.

The figure at the front smirked, his crimson eyes gleaming in the dim light. "That's right. And you're the mysterious merchant everyone's been talking about. As promised, I've brought your payment-five hundred million dollars."

At Kokabiel's signal, his subordinates began unloading twelve duffel bags from a sleek black car, each one packed with cash. The air between them grew tense.

Satria's gaze shifted to the two men and two women in black attire standing behind Kokabiel. "Who are they? I'm pretty sure I told you to come alone, Mr. Kokabiel."

Kokabiel chuckled, his tone light but firm. "Come now, Mr. Satria. This isn't my first rodeo dealing with... unusual individuals. Surely, you didn't expect me to walk into this alone?"

"Fair enough," Satria said with a shrug. He reached into his inventory, summoning the fabled Excalibur Destruction.

Kokabiel's smile widened as his eyes fixed on the weapon. "Finally... the real deal."

Satria held up the sword. "Let's keep this simple. On the count of three, we exchange. No tricks, no sudden moves. Agreed?"

Kokabiel nodded. "Agreed."

"One."

Both sides tensed.

"Two."

Kokabiel's grip on his duffel bags tightened.

"Three."

In an instant, Satria grabbed the bags, his movements almost impossibly fast. Kokabiel snatched the sword with impressive speed. Both parties stepped back, inspecting their respective prizes.

Satria's hands blurred as he counted the money at superhuman speed, then checked it using advanced detection tools. The weight, consistency, and contents all matched perfectly-2.5 tons of cash, exactly as promised.

Meanwhile, Kokabiel examined the Excalibur Destruction, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "It's... genuine. The legendary Excalibur Destruction in my hands. I'm honestly surprised you'd part with something so priceless for mere money."

Satria smirked. "Why not? You paid in full. Business is business, Mr. Kokabiel." He touched the hidden communication device on his collar. "Calm down, girls. Everything's under control."

Kokabiel chuckled, extending a hand. "You've impressed me, Mr. Satria. I half-expected this to be some elaborate scam, but you've proven yourself. And for the record, I despise violence too."

Satria accepted the handshake, matching his smile. "Thank you for your purchase, and I feel the same way about unnecessary conflict. If I may ask, what's your plan for this weapon?"

Kokabiel's eyes gleamed with ambition. "To change the world."

"An admirable dream," Satria replied smoothly. "I wish you success, Mr. Kokabiel. You have my support in spirit."

Kokabiel inclined his head, his mood visibly lifted. "You're quite the businessman, Mr. Satria. I'll be sure to leave a glowing review on your online store."

"I'd appreciate that. Goodbye, and good luck."

With that, Kokabiel and his entourage departed, satisfaction etched across their faces. As they drove away, Kokabiel clenched the sword tightly, his mind already racing. "With five Excalibur fragments now in my possession, the time has come. Soon, the biblical factions will crumble before me."

•

"You're insane, hubby, selling Excalibur to Kokabiel," Valiana said, walking beside Satria, her tone a mix of disbelief and amusement.

"Fufu... Satria always does the unthinkable," Kurumi chimed in, her amber eyes glinting with intrigue. "But surely you realize this will make your enemy stronger? You've just handed him a powerful weapon."

Kiyohime crossed her arms, her confidence unwavering. "Hmph! That so-called weapon is nothing more than a toy. It poses no threat to my Danna-sama. His power eclipses these pathetic crows."

Satria chuckled at her unwavering faith. "Kokabiel isn't my enemy, Kiyo. He's the biblical factions' problem. To me, he's just a great customer. And besides, doesn't his deep hatred for his own faction intrigue you? Aren't you curious about what made him this way?"

Kurumi tilted her head thoughtfully. "Hmm... It is unusual for someone to harbor such intense hatred for their own side. What are you thinking, darling?"

Valiana shrugged. "From what Azazel told me, Kokabiel just lost his mind after the war ended. Nothing more, nothing less."

Satria groaned and bopped her on the head with his fist.

"Ouch! Hubby! That hurts!" Valiana whined, rubbing her head.

"Idiot," Satria said, shaking his head. "Don't take Azazel's words at face value. He's a snake, Valiana. The kind of guy who keeps skeletons in his closet and manipulates everyone under his thumb. Never trust him completely."

Valiana pouted. "Fine, fine. But you could've told me without hitting me!"

Kurumi chuckled softly. "Poor Valiana. That said, darling, what's your plan? Do we intervene, or let this play out?"

Satria smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. "For now, we sit back and enjoy the show. Let Kokabiel think he's won the lottery."

Kurumi's lips curled into a sly smile. "How devious. That's one of the reasons I love you, Satria. Always playing the long game."

"Just don't get too comfortable, hubby," Valiana said, still rubbing her head. "You may be stronger than anyone, but letting people like Kokabiel run loose is bound to cause chaos."

"Chaos isn't always bad," Satria said with a shrug. "Sometimes, it's the perfect distraction to uncover the truth."

Kiyohime nodded, standing closer to him. "And when the time comes, Danna-sama will crush anyone who dares threaten this family."

"Exactly," Satria said with a grin. "Now, let's see how this little drama unfolds."

•

Kuoh Academy

Kuoh, Japan

"How much longer until it's complete, Valper?" Kokabiel asked, his tone calm but filled with anticipation as he sat on his makeshift throne, his wings casting an ominous shadow across the chamber.

"Just five more minutes, my lord," Valper Galilei, the archbishop-turned-researcher, replied with a sinister grin as he worked on merging the Excalibur fragments.

Rias Gremory's peerage and the two exorcists burst into the room, their faces pale with shock as they felt the immense holy power radiating from the nearly completed weapon.

"What... in the world?" Rias murmured, her crimson eyes narrowing as she sensed the unholy fusion of divine energy.

Valper cackled with delight as the process neared completion. "At last, the ultimate weapon! The five fragments of Excalibur will become one!"

Satria stood atop a nearby rooftop, holding back laughter as he watched the chaos unfold below. The sight of Rias and her allies' panicked faces was too amusing to ignore.

"Perfect timing," he muttered, pulling out his phone. With a flick of his finger, he opened the Dimensional Chat and started a livestream. If anyone needed a good show, it was his chat group.

____

[Shin Online]

Shin: "Hey, want to hear a joke? @King."

King of Knights: "What do you mean by a joke?"

Shin starts a livestream

Shin: "Take a look. Excalibur in my world broke into seven pieces. Someone here is trying to merge five of them for... let's just say less-than-holy purposes."

King of Knights: "What?! How dare they desecrate the Excalibur like this!"

God of Hope: "Calm down, Artoria. Satria's clearly just stirring the pot again."

Shin: "Stirring the pot? Me? Never! I'm an innocent bystander."

God of Hope: "Sure, and I'm the King of World."

Pervert Sage: "Naruto, is she calling you that? What's with this tone, huh? Are you two an item now?"

God of Hope: "...Yes?"

Shin: "Wait, hold up! Naruto the Player is real?! Damn, we've been out here living wrong!"

God of Hope: "Don't call me that, you bastard!"

King of Knights: "Language, Naruto!"

God of Hope: "Sorry, dear."

Pervert Sage: "I'm proud of you, my boy. Truly, you've surpassed your master 😭."

___

Kokabiel smirked as he watched Rias and her team regroup, his blood-red eyes gleaming with malice. His plan was unfolding perfectly.

"Ah, how wonderful," he said, his voice oozing with arrogance. "The little sister of Sirzechs Lucifer, along with the Church's pawns, have come to witness history. You'll be the first casualties of the Second Great War."

He burst into laughter, the sound echoing ominously through the chamber.

Rias clenched her fists. "We won't let you start another war, Kokabiel! We'll stop you here and now!"

Unbeknownst to them, Satria leaned back on his perch, enjoying the unfolding drama. "Let the show begin," he muttered, his grin widening.

To be continued...