Universe Infinite Canteen

"Who is Chen Yichen?"

"She is my classmate, a top student and very pretty. She's the belle of our class. Many boys secretly like her, even boys from other classes." Lin Cheng said, "A lot of people have confessed to her, but they have all been rejected."

"Are you secretly in love with her too?" Angie yawned.

Lin Cheng nodded.

"Uh... but if I remember correctly, she should have already turned into a monster. Even so, you still want to be with her?"

"Be together?" Lin Cheng adjusted the straps of his backpack. "Um, sort of together. But actually, I want to find her, then be eaten by her."

???

"I'm too weak." Lin Cheng sighed, "I... I'm not suited to survive in this apocalypse. Plus, I've read many apocalypse novels. The protagonists often do bad things to survive, yet many still live pretty miserable lives.

"After all, this is the apocalypse. Killing, looting, all that stuff is normal. And now that there aren't any women left in the world, how do the surviving men handle their physical needs?

"I've heard some men are very interested in young boys. I don't want to end up in that tragic situation."

"That is indeed a problem." Mr. Furball nodded in agreement.

"And I don't really have any family. I'm an only child. My parents died in a car accident when I was very young, and I lived with my grandparents. My grandpa passed away last year from a sudden stroke.

"Now it's just my grandma and me left, but she must have already become a monster by now. So... I have nothing left to hold onto in this world."

Lin Cheng took a deep breath.

"I seriously considered ending my life. It wasn't just some teenage rebellious phase.

"But when I took out a box cutter from the convenience store, put it against my neck, I couldn't do it."

"Self-slashing does require some skill. Otherwise, if you don't die after a long time and there's blood all over the place, it can get very messy."

Flush your Pee also agreed, "You'd have to crawl around in your own blood. If you change your mind midway, you'd have to look for tape everywhere. And the longer a suicide attempt drags on, the more likely you'll end up changing your mind. Why, why are you all looking at me?"

Black Bear realized everyone was staring at him halfway through his speech.

"You speak as if you've attempted suicide." Ma Lu said.

"I do have some experience in that area." Flush your Pee scratched his butt. "Don't think just because I look happy every day, I wasn't sad when I first body-swapped with the King and got locked in a cage. Especially when I thought about being used as a money-making tool by the evil leader.

"I felt even worse and did try to commit suicide, but my bear skin was too thick, I didn't succeed. But now I find being a bear quite good. Being human is whatever."

Ma Youyou hugged Black Bear upon hearing this.

Lin Cheng continued, "So, I've decided on a different way to die. Being eaten by someone I like seems nice. I mean, I'm going to die anyway, right? Why not die in the mouth of the girl I've been secretly in love with, and give her nutrients."

"And then turn into poop, sliding out from her rectum." Mr. Furball added.

"Uh... that's the later part. But is roughly the idea. From a physiological perspective, you're not wrong."

"Cool." Angie said, "I think that kind of death is quite romantic. Being eaten by someone you love. If this were a movie, I'd agree to cut your pay in half."

"Thank you." Lin Cheng bowed in gratitude.

"But why," Ma Lu frowned, "I've clearly saved the Multiverse. Why is this plane still being destroyed?"

"The Multiverse faces more than one crisis," the Female Sorceress said, "Just like how we Wandering Sorcerers deal with Hell Creatures. They've destroyed thousands of planes, and there are other threats. Right while we're speaking, planes are being destroyed."

"That sounds like a traffic accident." Angie touched up her makeup with a mirror, "Unavoidable."

"Pretty much."

"Is that so." Ma Lu thought for a moment, then took out a marker and silently crossed off "Savior of the Multiverse" from his self-introduction on the banner.

It seemed this title was of no use here.

"But why don't you ask for help from The Grand Alliance? Isn't this the core zone?" Ma Lu questioned, puzzled.

"Even if those guys can't handle Skulder, they could at least solve the crisis here, right? At the very least, they should be able to clean up monsters of this level."

"No, we've reached an outer plane," Yan Wu explained, "Outer planes, while still under the surveillance of The Grand Alliance, are not interfered with as a rule."

"Wtf? You clearly told me we were still in the core zone." Ma Lu's eyes widened.

"I had the route map upside down." Yan Wu admitted frankly.

???

"You suck. You're a terrible pilot. Your parking skills suck, your landing skills suck. You even messed up a simple route map!" Ma Lu complained.

"I was originally a hardware store owner. Why did you expect my piloting skills to be competent?" The Werewolf was equally shameless, admitting without a hint of guilt.

"You better teach Han Feifei how to pilot soon so you can go back to Earth and continue running your hardware business. Oh, wait, on second thought, you'd better not teach Han Feifei. I'll find some materials online and let her self-learn.

"She has already complained to me more than once. Whenever she asks you about some parameter on the display or a button on the dashboard, you always say, 'that's not important, this isn't important, a seasoned pro wouldn't look at these.'

"And things like 'you'll naturally know when you need to; it's an instinct for pilots,' bullshit like that. Your skills really stink! To! High! Heaven!"

"Hey, kid, show some respect to your angel investor." Yan Wu barked.

"You should be more honest with your Savior first."

As they argued, they heard a 'click'.

Ma Lu turned around and saw Lin Cheng holding his camera.

"Uh... I don't know why, but I felt the scene just now had some feeling. The lighting and composition were great. Sorry, I... I couldn't control my fingers. Sorry, I won't do it again next time."

He swallowed, "But, I think you guys shouldn't fight. There's really no need to argue because of me. I'm just a nobody."

"This has nothing to do with you," Ma Lu said, "I've been putting up with him for a long time."

"Oh, it's mutual. I've been fed up with you for a long time. You just got lucky saving the world," The Hardware Store Owner said, "How about we settle this."

"Fine, let's do it," Ma Lu assumed a stance, "Let's have a cooking contest like real men."

"Shouldn't men compete with their fists?"

"Do you have any sense of shame? You, a thousands-year-old Werewolf, want to fight an ordinary person like me?"

"And isn't it more shameless for you, a disciple of ψ, to compete in cooking with me?"

Seeing that their argument was getting fiercer, with a 'fight to the death' vibe, Lin Cheng became increasingly frightened. He discreetly tugged at Ma Youyou's sleeve.

"Aren't you going to stop them?"

"It's fine. Long trips are like this. When living in a small area for a long time, conflicts between companions are easy to erupt." Ma Youyou consoled him, "They'll just argue a bit. They won't actually fight."