Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

"I don't need it!" Ye Danxia's voice was cold. "Yun Jin, if I'm not mistaken, the Grand Sect Assembly is only a month away. Your opponent is Senior Brother Ruan. Do you really think you stand a chance? If anyone's going to die, it'll be you long before me!"

She smiled, the curve of her lips just slightly unhinged.

Yun Jin didn't look angry in the slightest. She beamed. "Who knows if I'll die or not? But Danxia, one thing is certain: you won't be around to see it. With your charges, even if they don't execute you on the spot, you'll be stuck here for the rest of your life. Don't worry though, if I happen to win by some miracle, I'll be sure to tell you all about it. I wouldn't dream of letting you miss even a moment of the good news."

[+200 Emotional Value.]

Yun Jin blinked, a bit disappointed.

Huh. That's it? From Ye Danxia, a woman of such stature, she had expected at least another +500. This streak cut off way too early.

Clearly, she had to keep trying.

With a warm tone, Yun Jin said, "Danxia, you've been stuck here for a while now. I bet you haven't had a decent meal in ages."

Ye Danxia narrowed her eyes. "What, you're planning to feed me now?"

"I wish I could. But I don't have a pass, so I can't get food through the barrier." Yun Jin smiled sweetly. "So, how about I eat in front of you instead?"

Ye Danxia: "???"

Was this something a human being would actually do?

Before she could react, Yun Jin had already pulled out a portable grill. With practiced ease, she laid out slices of well-seasoned meat and began roasting them, humming a little tune as the aroma drifted through the air.

Ye Danxia desperately wanted to ignore her. She didn't want to look, didn't want to smell it. She sat cross-legged, trying to enter a cultivation state.

But.

The scent.

It kept floating her way.

Two months ago, she had still been a mortal. Though she had since stepped onto the path of cultivation, she hadn't reached the level where she could ignore worldly cravings.

Ever since being locked up in Heshan, she'd relied entirely on fasting pills.

Fasting pills didn't make you hungry, sure—but they also had absolutely no flavor.

The moment the rich, savory aroma hit her nose, Ye Danxia involuntarily swallowed a mouthful of saliva.

[+20 Emotional Value.]

[+20 Emotional Value.]

[+20 Emotional Value.]

Yun Jin smiled to herself and grilled with even more enthusiasm. Each emotional value gain was small, but the real power was in consistency. Besides, she had been craving roasted meat anyway.

When the meat was golden and crisp, she sprinkled on the special seasoning made by Master Chef Mu Hua. The flavor burst across her tongue as she ate, thoroughly pleased.

Once she had more Emotional Value stored up, she'd absolutely level up her cooking skill. Not for others—for herself. Being able to eat like this was a reward on its own.

[+50 Emotional Value.]

[+60 Emotional Value.]

Ye Danxia clenched her fists. "Can't you at least eat farther away?"

Yun Jin shook her head. "No way. We're sisters. And as sisters, we share blessings together. I'm eating meat, so the least I can do is let you smell it too. Anything else would be too selfish."

[+200 Emotional Value.]

Ye Danxia was on the verge of breaking down.

How was this not worse?

She knew Yun Jin was doing it on purpose. She tried her best to remain calm and sink into meditation, but she wasn't nearly advanced enough to block out this kind of distraction.

Yun Jin, having eaten her fill, finally put away the grill.

Ye Danxia caught this out of the corner of her eye and sighed in relief.

But she had barely taken a breath when—

Yun Jin placed a recording stone at the cave entrance.

And then, music started playing.

"How could I escape this dazzling world, when I'm just a drunken butterfly..."

What in the heavens was that?

Yun Jin, with the utmost ease, unsheathed the Tai'a Sword and began practicing the Drunken Azure Lotus Sword Art.

Ye Danxia grit her teeth.

She finally understood what Yun Jin was trying to do.

Yun Jin was scared of her.

She was afraid Ye Danxia would surpass her through focused cultivation, so she had come to disturb her progress.

One little song?

She wouldn't let it faze her.

At first, Ye Danxia ignored it.

But by the tenth repetition... she caught herself singing along under her breath. "How could I escape this dazzling world..."

Her face turned green.

She clamped her hand over her mouth, terrified Yun Jin had heard her and would mock her to no end.

Luckily, Yun Jin was still immersed in sword practice, showing no sign of noticing.

Ye Danxia let out a tiny sigh.

But the song—there was something deeply irritating about it.

She decided to block it out by using her spiritual energy to seal off her hearing.

However.

Even with spiritual energy in play, the music came through loud and clear.

What was going on?

She was starting to unravel.

Then Yun Jin's cheerful voice rang out. "Danxia, you're not trying to block out the sound, are you? It won't work. I used a basic sound-penetration talisman on the recording stone. Works like a charm!"

Ye Danxia stared at the glowing green talisman on the stone and nearly vomited blood.

Since when had Yun Jin been this abnormal?

A talisman—such a valuable item—and she just slapped it on a recording stone?

Just so Danxia couldn't avoid hearing a ridiculous song?

Fine.

Let's see how many talismans she has.

Ye Danxia stopped cultivating and simply lay down to rest. She was determined to wait it out.

Two hours passed.

Just as the talisman's glow began to dim, she smirked, ready to speak.

Yun Jin casually pulled out another talisman and slapped it on.

She turned and smiled sweetly, holding up a neat stack. "Don't worry, Danxia. I've got plenty more where that came from."

Ye Danxia: "..."

If not for the barrier, she would've rushed out and settled this face-to-face.

Unable to train, too annoyed to think, she forced herself to lie down and sleep.

But the music just kept looping.

Ye Danxia shut her eyes in misery, feeling pitiful and powerless.

[+20 Emotional Value.]

[+30 Emotional Value.]

At this point, Ye Danxia had become a living generator of emotional value. Though each gain was small, the consistency made it incredibly efficient.

Yun Jin had long since made up her mind.

She was going to be best friends with Ye Danxia forever.

Most people only had so much emotional value to give in a short time. High cultivation meant higher output, lower cultivation meant less. A Foundation Establishment disciple might give about a thousand points every few days—then needed time to "recharge."

But Ye Danxia?

She gave and gave and gave.

One prod, one spike. Another prod, another spike.

Alone, she was worth more than a hundred regular disciples.

Just in those two hours, Ye Danxia had generated nearly ten thousand Emotional Value.

Miss Ye Danxia was, quite simply, a sustainable emotional value resource.

Yun Jin was in a fantastic mood.

And even better—her Azure Lotus Sword Art had just advanced to the second level.