Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

Two consecutive waves of [+Emotional Value] had appeared, and though the flow had slowed, it was still steadily increasing. Yun Jin waited in tense silence. New values continued trickling in, with the occasional spike of five hundred. The peak had passed, but those bursts had eased her immediate crisis.

She quickly did the math

With the points she had just collected, plus a few more likely to trickle in later, she was less than ten instances away from her goal. Heaven was clearly on her side today. Yun Jin waited a bit longer to confirm there wouldn't be another massive influx, then sighed with a hint of regret and summoned Gu Jinghong.  Truth be told, the Gu Jinghong and Gun Gun duo had provided her with quite a bit of [+Emotional Value] lately. Whatever they were up to, it had been very effective. Yun Jin had a few guesses already, but when she actually saw the two of them, she turned away and trembled.

Gu Jinghong was one thing—his hair was messy, and his clothes a little disheveled, but nothing too outrageous. She could tolerate that.

But Gun Gun...  

The panda, usually black and white, was now completely black after rolling around who-knew-where. Its fur was covered with leaves and twigs, and its ears were standing up for some reason, giving it a ridiculous appearance.

"Master!" Gun Gun shouted joyfully and barreled toward her.

"Gu Jinghong!" Yun Jin screamed in terror.

Gu Jinghong swiftly grabbed the panda by the scruff.

Gun Gun struggled, but it was no match for Gu Jinghong and could only thrash around in place. Yun Jin let out a breath and looked at Gu Jinghong with a hint of approval. Her servant was starting to understand her preferences. If he could stay this useful, she wouldn't mind helping him with the Blood Qi Art problem someday.

"What did you two do to end up looking like this?" she asked. Before Gu Jinghong could speak, Gun Gun started chattering away.

"Master! The chant you taught me was amazing! The only problem is, when I recite it, I can't help but jump around, but really, it works great! I've been picking fights nonstop, and now my Iron Armor skill is already at level two!" Gun Gun puffed out its chest proudly.

"How exactly have you been picking fights?" Yun Jin asked, intrigued.

Gu Jinghong gave her a long-suffering look. Gun Gun, however, answered with pride, "Easy! I grab clumps of mud and throw them at people. They come fight me right away!"

Yun Jin was stunned.

That was... certainly simple.  

But was it safe?

She glanced at Gu Jinghong.

He looked utterly defeated. "I followed behind to apologize. Plus, Gun Gun never fought back, so no one really held it against us."

"Master, I have a question. Does it only count when I'm hit by humans? What about spirit beasts?" Gun Gun asked excitedly.

It seemed to be developing a taste for getting beaten up.

Yun Jin paused. "It... probably works too."

Gun Gun perked up. "Then it's time to reconnect with my younger siblings!"

It hadn't visited the other spirit beasts in the pavilion since being adopted. When they saw how powerful it had become, wouldn't they be shocked out of their fur? Already picturing their awed expressions, Gun Gun struck a pose and burst into maniacal laughter.

Yun Jin could barely look at it, but now she finally understood how this ridiculous duo was generating so much [+Emotional Value].

They were just asking for it.

"All right, go train some more," she said. "But keep the chaos inside the sect. Don't mess around near the market—things aren't stable there right now."

"Understood," Gu Jinghong replied.

Yun Jin trusted him enough now. She nodded. "How are you doing with suppressing your Blood Qi Art lately?"

Gu Jinghong's eyes lit up.

Master...

Master was showing concern for me?

His voice practically floated. "As long as I don't get into fights, I can keep it under control. But if I do, it will probably erupt immediately."

Yun Jin gave him a baffled look. That was just a normal answer. Why was he so happy about it? She didn't dwell on it. "Just avoid fighting for now. After the Grand Sect Assembly, I'll find a way to fix your condition."

Gu Jinghong's eyes turned red on the spot.

Yun Jin: "???"

Was this guy insane?

Oh, wait.

He actually was.

All right then.

Gu Jinghong tried to compose himself. "I... I'm sorry to trouble Master."

Then the tears began to fall.

Yun Jin was so grossed out she triggered the punishment.

It hurt. A lot. But Gu Jinghong only looked more grateful.

Master was so kind. Yet she didn't want him to be too overwhelmed with gratitude, so she punished him on purpose.

He understood now.

He truly did.

Yun Jin: "???"

She had wanted to mess with him. So why did she end up nauseating herself?

She waved a hand dismissively. "Enough. Both of you, out!"

Gu Jinghong led Gun Gun away with deep gratitude.

Yun Jin calculated in her mind. This duo had provided her with a hefty sum of [+Emotional Value].

As for the rest of what she needed—

Ye Danxia.

Top benefactor, forgive me. I missed you so much while you were away. Surely a little visit is reasonable, right?

Just a chat, just some conversation. Nothing strange about that.

And if, somehow, her words caused a few emotional ripples...

That wouldn't be her fault.

It's not like she'd be doing it on purpose!

This time, Yun Jin was prepared for a long campaign. She packed up a bunch of delicious food and happily set off for Heshen Mountain.

At the mountain's base, a few disciples were standing guard, bored out of their minds.

When they saw Yun Jin approaching, they blinked in surprise.

"Junior Sister Yun, you're here to...?" one of them asked.

Yun Jin quickly wiped away a fake tear. "Senior Brother, you all know my dear sister Danxia is imprisoned on Heshen Mountain for her mistakes. I'm her closest friend. I can't stand the thought of her going hungry or cold. No matter what, I had to come see her. If I can keep her company, maybe she won't feel so alone."

Disciples: "???"

Would Ye Danxia really be comforted by Yun Jin's company?

They seriously doubted it.

"Senior Brothers, just take it as supporting our sisterly bond," Yun Jin whispered, slipping each of them a high-grade spirit stone.

Their eyes lit up.

They had been assigned to this remote duty because they weren't particularly favored. A single high-grade spirit stone was already a nice windfall.

Besides, there was a barrier around the mountain. Without a special token, Yun Jin wouldn't be able to do anything to Ye Danxia. If she just wanted to talk, why stop her?

They exchanged knowing glances, pocketed the stones, and stepped aside.

Yun Jin beamed and thanked them politely before heading up the mountain.

Danxia, my darling treasure, I'm coming!

That last bit of [+Emotional Value]?

It's all riding on you now.

This time, Yun Jin had come fully prepared.

She wasn't leaving until she hit her goal.