123. Flowers Cry Silently (3)
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“What else? I’m saying we should live together.”
I shook my head as I watched my younger self struggle like a sack of potatoes in my grip. Even so, I didn’t loosen my hold on the harness straps across her shoulders.
‘Come to think of it, this harness is the only thing that’s exactly the same as now.’
I ran my free hand over my shoulder. I’d snatched it up when someone was selling it dirt cheap. Its performance was mediocre, but being my first piece of equipment made it priceless to me. That’s why I still couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, even now.
My brief reminiscence was cut short by my younger self.
“I’ll go on my own, I promise! So let go of this. I can’t breathe!”
“If I let go, you’ll run away. You don’t think I know what’s going on in your head? And please, for the love of all that’s holy, shut your mouth.”
“Why should I listen to you?”
Such stubbornness. Only after I threatened to break her precious bow did she lower her voice.
“Ugh, fine. At least tell me why.”
“Because class is about to start. The rules here are extremely strict.”
My younger self rubbed the back of her neck, clearly not understanding. But there really wasn’t time to explain everything. I glanced at the small shadows scurrying down the corridor, paying no attention to us.
We soon arrived at the school gate where we’d first met.
“Is this as far as you’re running?”
I chuckled as I watched my younger self climb onto the gate pillar the moment I released her.
Well, I understood. It was habit to head for a safe place. The monsters in this field never come out beyond this gate. Unfortunately, that rule doesn’t apply to me.
“Let’s not waste energy, shall we?”
I raised both hands to show I meant no harm. But my younger self didn’t let her guard down. She crouched on the pillar, looking around as if searching for an escape route.
“Wherever you go, the result will be the same. There’s an unbridgeable wall of time between us.”
“Aren’t you being a bit overconfident?”
“If you’d like, I’ll humor you until you’re convinced.”
My younger self was even more stubborn than I am now. This tenacious personality would gradually wear down through collisions and breaks. My younger self, unaware of the future, spoke in a characteristically defiant tone.
“…You never know until you try to the very end.”
Those golden eyes glared at me with fierce intensity. But I knew better than anyone what lay beneath that shell. If you peeled back just one layer, you’d find a vulnerable core.
I grabbed her collar and pulled her down from the pillar.
“If you don’t plan on staying here for eternity, you’d better listen to me, Hunter Yun Gaho.”
I looked into her eyes as she stumbled upon landing. My younger self’s shoulders trembled slightly as she tried not to avert her gaze. It must be because of the unfamiliar form of address.
‘There were hardly any people who treated me properly as a hunter back then.’
Hunter Yun Gaho. Just these few words softened her gaze. Falling for this so easily, really. I gently patted the shoulder of the young hunter with a difficult road ahead.
“You were very scared, weren’t you?”
“What?”
“And you must have felt desperate. Thinking everyone had abandoned you, that you’d die here helplessly. At the same time, you were blaming yourself for being so foolish.”
My younger self furrowed her brow at this seemingly out-of-context conversation. But the way she kept rubbing her face nervously showed I’d hit the nail on the head.
‘Who would have thought it would copy past emotions too?’
The first impression had been so striking that I hadn’t had the leisure to examine my younger self’s expressions closely, being overwhelmed by confusion. But as I found the answer, my perspective broadened.
“You don’t have to lie. As you know, I’m aware of everything.”
“……”
“You’ve been struggling a lot on your own.”
My younger self’s face contorted miserably. She opened and closed her mouth as if wanting to argue, then hung her head low. I wonder who she takes after, being so bad at honesty.
“From now on, I’ll help you.”
I spoke as sincerely as I could, abandoning all pretense of formality. Even so, my younger self’s reaction wasn’t particularly positive.
“Hah, are you crazy?”
“Not likely.”
“If not that, then you’re trying to deceive me. Do you think I’d believe you?”
My younger self jerked her head up, scowling for a different reason now. Well, I had already anticipated that she wouldn’t easily trust someone who had been toying with her until just now.
“Hunter Yun Gaho.”
“Y-yes?”
“Think about it rationally. Do I have any reason to deceive you?”
“…Well.”
Her eyes wavered as I handed her the staff, telling her to stab me if I tried anything funny. After pondering for a moment, she pointed the staff at me.
“I won’t go easy on you if you try anything.”
“You won’t get the chance. I’m going to help you in every way possible.”
Why am I going to such lengths to help my younger self? It’s simple. Saving her was tantamount to saving myself.
The field, “Master’s Favor,” was a world of strict yet merciful rules.
Incorrect methods of clearing it are not forgiven. Those who choose the wrong approach invariably return to the starting point. But this also meant that it gives the next opportunity to overcome failure.
‘This place is giving me another chance too.’
All my previous approaches to clearing it were wrong. Where exactly?
“From the beginning. Everything went wrong from the moment I thought of her as an enemy.”
My younger self had said she was a mirror reflecting my heart. But that was a lie. I recalled the white space I had first witnessed.
‘The mirror is this space itself.’
My younger self appeared along with the other scenery. Of course. She, too, was no different from the scenery projected within this space—within the mirror.
Then how could this enormous mirror be shattered? I found the clue in my younger self’s words and appearance.
‘She said she had dredged up my most horrific memory.’
I didn’t want to admit it honestly, but without doing so, there’d be no progress. It seemed… I still hadn’t completely overcome the memories of that time.
And once I acknowledged this fact, I quickly arrived at the solution.
‘Let’s create a discrepancy between my memories and this place.’
Change this place into a not-so-horrific memory and overturn my younger self’s future. What would happen to the mirror if there was a discrepancy between the reflected subject and the projection? Whatever the case, it couldn’t remain unresponsive as it had been until now.
The excessively neat appearance of my younger self lent weight to this hypothesis. Not a speck of dust on her pitch-black clothes. Since resets didn’t restore my condition, my younger self must not have experienced many resets yet.
“Unlike me, for whom this time has already become the past, you still have other possibilities.”
The sudden break in silence startled my younger self, who had been sitting beside me waiting for the bell to ring. She jumped to her feet. Oops, I hadn’t meant to frighten her.
“I understand you’re worried, but relax. I sincerely want you to escape from here too.”
“…If that’s the case, why don’t I just stay here and you take care of everything?”
“Me solving everything would be the easy way, but it’s not the right way.”
It would be easier for me too, but that would be putting the cart before the horse. If the younger me within the mirror doesn’t take action, can we truly say we’ve changed the memory? And that wasn’t the only reason.
‘What I wanted most back then wasn’t that.’
I had wished for someone to come and save me. But there was something I desired even more.
My younger self desperately hoped that I had the strength and wisdom to overcome this crisis. And I wanted to prove to Kwon Si-hyeong, who looked down on me, that I wouldn’t crumble over something like this.
If we were going to change the outcome anyway, I wanted to do it the way I had dreamed of.
“This is your field. So you need to solve it.”
“Well, I guess that’s true.”
“You said it yourself. I am you. I eventually found a way here. So you can do it too.”
My words seemed to have some persuasive power, as the shadow on my younger self’s face lifted slightly. And with my next words, her expression brightened even more.
“I’ll give you a hint. Where do you think this is?”
“Isn’t it a school? I saw blackboards inside.”
“Ding dong.”
Pointing at the bell atop the school building, I asked the next question.
“Then what is that bell for?”
“What else? It’s the class bell, right?”
“Correct. If you’ve figured out that much, you’re practically done clearing this.”
My younger self complained, telling me to explain properly if I was going to speak. Hmm, was that not enough? Shrugging, I gave her one more clue.
“Since you seem completely lost, I’ll give you one last hint. In school, ‘class time’ and ‘break time’ alternate, right? The bell marks that. In this place…”
“Wait. Is that why small shadows went in and out of the building every time the bell rang? Damn, I had it completely backwards.”
“Do you get it now?”
My younger self, lost in thought, nodded belatedly.
“Those small shadows are ‘students,’ right?”
“That’s right.”
“I thought this was a wave-type field. I assumed that bell was just a device signaling when the small shadows would surge in. But I was completely wrong about everything.”
I had said it was the last hint, but I thought I might need to give a couple more. It seems my younger self had been observing this place more keenly than I expected.
“Then is the big shadow inside the building the teacher?”
Oh, she got that far right away? In that case, this will go quickly.
“Correct again. Did you do some advance studying?”
“Hey, are you mocking me for not knowing until now? If that’s the case, just say it straight instead of being sarcastic.”
My younger self leaned in close to my face. Smiling, I pushed her forehead back with my index finger. Even if it’s me, this is a bit uncomfortable.
“It was a compliment. Well, I know your personality well, so I’ll skip the pleasantries and tell you what you want to know.”
So, about the method to clear this field…