To My Dear Haru

I lay on the futon, staring up at the ceiling. The soft hum of cicadas outside filled the silence, blending with the occasional rustle of petals brushing against the window. A knock broke the silence "Hyung, dinner's ready in 15 minutes. You coming?" Jinwo's voice came softly from behind the door "Yhea... I'll be there in a while" I replied, I sat up slowly and walked towards a small sink.

I splashed some cold water on my face, I stared at myself. Same face. Same tired eyes. Same hollow stare. I dried mu face with a soft fabric, took a deep breath, and stepped outside. The dining hall was filled with soft sounds of conversation. the table was full of delicious food that was prepared by the owner.

I looked for Jinwo and spotted him drinking with our colleague's, "Hyung! Over here! I saved you a seat" I smiled, as I walked towards him I suddenly bumped into someone "oh- sorry-" a shiver went down on my spine as I looked at him. "Oh I'm really sorry I didn't see you there... are you alright?" I nod, and he continued helping who looks like the owner. "Haru..." I whispered. "Hyung are you alright?" Jinwo asked "Y-yhea... I'm just a little dizzy" he pulled a chair for me.

I was still confused w-what was Haru doing here? And why didn't he recognize me? "Hey hyung? Are you alright? What were you thinking?" I got so lot in my thoughts and didn't realize I was dozing off "oh nothing I'm just tired" I said. "Oh ok... hyung would you like some Japanese tea? it's very savory, you should try it" he poured a tea on my cup handing it to me "thank you" the smell was minty and sweet, I took a sip and loved the way it tasted, it's not sweet or bitter.

The tea warmed my hands as I held the cup gently. I stared down at it, letting the steam rise slowly to my face. The scent was comforting—but my heart wasn't. I glanced at the man again. He was helping the owner arrange more dishes on the other side of the room, smiling politely as he bowed slightly to the guests. His voice... his posture... even the way he tucked his hair behind his ear. It was him. It had to be him. But why didn't he recognize me? Why was he acting like we were strangers?

I sipped the tea slowly, trying to keep my hands from shaking "Hyung, are you sure you're okay?" Jinwo asked again, this time leaning closer, concern growing in his voice. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. After dinner, the group decided to stay a bit longer, chatting over drinks and snacks. I quietly excused myself and walked outside, needing air—needing space. The night was cooler than earlier. The cherry blossoms rustled gently in the wind as I walked toward the same bench under the tree I had seen from my window earlier. I sat down.

The garden was quiet, lit only by soft golden lamps that lined the path. I leaned back, looking up at the moon. My chest was heavy. My thoughts were louder than anything around me. Could that really be Haru? Three years had passed. I had imagined this moment a thousand different ways—him showing up, explaining why he left, crying, apologizing, holding me. But not this. Not... not him acting like he didn't know me at all. I clenched my fists on my lap. My eyes were stinging again. "Why... why are you here?" I whispered into the air. "Why now?" Just then, I heard soft footsteps approaching.

I didn't look up. I couldn't. But they stopped near me. "You looked pale earlier," a calm voice said. My breath caught in my throat. It was him. "Do you need warm tea or water?" he asked kindly. I turned slowly, my heart pounding so loud it nearly drowned everything else. Our eyes met. And in that moment. He smiled politely. But there was no recognition in his eyes. None. Not even a flicker. He smiled politely.

But there was no recognition in his eyes. "I'm Haku," he said softly, his voice calm and composed. "I help the owner here from time to time. You're one of the guests, right?" I blinked, frozen. Haku? Not Haru? "I... uh, yeah," I answered, trying to steady my voice. "I'm Jinha." He nodded, offering a small bow. "Nice to meet you, Jinha-ssi. You looked a little pale earlier. I hope you're feeling better now."

I nodded slowly. "Thanks... I just needed some fresh air." He gave a faint smile, then turned to leave. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll be around." "Wait," I called out without thinking. He paused and looked back at me. "Do you... know someone named Haru?" I asked, carefully watching his reaction. For a moment, his smile faltered. Just a flicker. Then he looked down. "Yes," he said. "He's my twin brother." Twin... brother? The words echoed in my head.

I stared at him, completely still. Haru... had a twin? Why didn't he ever tell me? "Are you okay?" Haku asked, noticing the change in my expression. I nodded too quickly. "Yeah... yeah, I just... didn't know." He looked at me with quiet curiosity but didn't push. "We're not really close," he added. "We grew up separately. Different cities, different lives." "Oh..." I didn't know what to say. Did Haru ever mention him? Did he know? Was this real?

I stood there, lost in thought, as Haku gave a small nod and walked away, disappearing into the soft glow of the garden lights. My legs felt weak. I slowly sat back down, staring at the spot where he stood. Twin brothers. All this time, I thought I was seeing a ghost. But maybe the ghost wasn't Haru. Maybe it was just my grief. Still... something about Haku's eyes lingered in my mind. Something about the way he looked at me when I said Haru's name. It was almost as if... He remembered something too. It was almost as if... Haru never really left. He just came back with a different name.