This Journey to the West is so wrong!

*Knock knock

"Who's there?" a deep voice emanated from behind the gate.

"It's me."

"Me? I don't remember anyone by that name."

"Are you an idiot? Just let me in, I have too much work to do right now."

"Okay, okay."

The gate slowly opened, revealing a dog holding a spear and wearing armor.

"Oh, it's you. But I remember you used to accompany someone else?" he asked.

"He's busy with something. If you want to see, come in."

"Alright, come in so I can close up" he sighed.

'Successful intrusion!'

It was the Sun Wukong.

After disguising herself, all the energy around her seemed to vanish, making her disguise appear genuine.

She began to walk through a cave, a rather long and gloomy path, but luckily there were torches here to provide light.

As she ventured deeper, she heard a lot of voices... specifically, the sounds of revelry.

She reached the light at the end of the path.

And what awaited her there was...

"1, 2, 3, Drink!"

"Whoever drinks the fastest wins!"

"Damn, that's not fair!"

"Someone drink for me... I need to poop."

"Ewww, go to the toilet quick!"

The monsters were partying, quite crowded.

'Looks like fun, I want to join' Wukong thought to herself.

She walked around, trying not to let anyone recognize her.

"Oh? You're here!" a voice exclaimed, seemingly pointing at her.

"Hmm? What's going on?" she replied, trying to act as natural as possible.

"What else?! Come over here and drink with us!" The monster waved, inviting her.

'If that's the case, I must participate- no no no... stay calm, Sun Wukong... the important thing must be done' she composed herself, resisting the temptation.

"There's peach and banana here."

"LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Wukong hurried over. She could overlook everything else, but not peach and banana.

***

"Sir, here's the chicken meat."

"Cut it for me, I can't eat it whole like this."

"Oh, certainly!"

If you're curious why the initial words sounded like a servant inviting a king to eat, well, I'm the one who gave them the order.

Currently, I'm sitting on a chair designed like a royal throne.

With Bai Long by my side, we're both waiting for the slaves- ahem, monks to prepare the food.

"Here you go!"

"Hmm." I took off my sunglasses and sniffed the food.

"Do you even know how to cook? Disappointing!" I stood up, slapped the disciple in the face, sending him crashing into the wall unconscious.

Others watching broke into a sweat, they didn't expect me to be so demanding, did they?

Well, of course, I have my reasons. The food has to be well-prepared for my and Yu Long's sake.

Especially Yu Long—if she doesn't eat properly, I'll die from her nagging!

"Next! Keep cooking until I'm satisfied!"

"R-Right!" They hurried back to the kitchen, which was still intact after the fire incident.

"Master" Yu Long tugged at my sleeve, looking at me.

"Hmm? What's the matter?" I raised my sunglasses to look at her.

"Are you sure it was a good idea to assign the mission to her?"

"No." I replied bluntly.

"Then why assign it to her? Could you have given it to me instead?" Yu Long tilted her head as if puzzled by why I chose Sun Wukong.

"She's stronger than you, so I'm more certain. Plus, I don't know anything about the girl who stole the bag's powers yet."

"But Master, shouldn't unclear missions be assigned to weaker individuals to protect our strong ones from encountering powerful enemies?"

'How can she even think like that?!' I sighed, poured myself a cup of tea, and drank.

"Yu Long, sometimes love blinds a father."

"But Master, you're younger than me."

"... Yu Long, sometimes a son worries about his mother."

"Master, my body isn't that alluring."

"Wait, that's not what I mean!"

Damn it! Hurry up, Wukong!!! She's giving me a headache!!!

***

"Hmm? Who's calling me?"

Sun Wukong was eating peaches, scratching her head.

"Keep going! I want to see you drink more!!"

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU STUPID FUCK! BEER IS THE SPECIALTY OF THIS OLD MASTER!" Sun Wukong shouted, holding a beer and drinking (Wukong likes to refer to herself as 'old master' or 'old man', even though she's a woman).

One hour later...

"Ugh..."

The monsters were drunk to the point of almost passing out; many were vomiting on the table, while a few stumbled off to the toilet.

Meanwhile, Wukong was perfectly fine; her alcohol tolerance was incredible even though she had already drunk more than 29 kegs of beer.

"Wow, I've been partying a bit too hard~" Sun Wukong whistled, continuing to search for the pouch.

She went everywhere—into bedrooms, down to the basement, opened windows, and passed by the horse stable.

She kept searching, although she wasn't sure if she had a sense of direction comparable to a green-haired swordsman.

Then she found a large gate identical to the one outside.

"This is the last place, I hope I find the pouch here." Wukong pushed the gate with her hand.

The gate was quite sturdy, requiring quite a bit of effort.

"Have I lost muscle over these 500 years of training?!" she complained, pushing harder.

The gate opened, revealing a girl sitting on a golden throne(?), eating raw fish and a few rice cakes.

... and she was only wearing underwear.

Next to her was a bear in armor, with long black hair and a katana on its right side.

"Who are you?"

The girl spoke now, and from her tone, she didn't seem pleased that someone had entered her room without notice.

But at this moment, Sun Wukong didn't care about her, what she cared about was the robe hanging on the wall.

'If the robe is here... it means the bag must be here too!'

With this thought in mind, Wukong cheerfully continued forward, ignoring the looks from the naked girl and the bear with a katana.