The Villain's Dead Wife

I climbed out of the window and gripped the rope with all the courage of someone who'd just realized they forgot to pack a backup plan. The descent from the first floor felt like it was a hundred stories high-seriously, was this house compensating for something?

Just as I was congratulating myself on not plummeting to my doom, I heard a suspicious "grrr" from below.

I squinted into the darkness and saw two glowing blue eyes staring up at me. They blinked slowly, as if considering whether to invite me to a devilish tea party or just swipe me off the rope.

I pushed forward, undeterred by the increasingly ominous growls coming from below. This creature clearly had some serious objections to my escape plan.

But not even a glowing, growling hybrid was going to stop me tonight!

I gritted my teeth and continued my descent, despite the creature's increasingly menacing growls. As I got closer, the moonlight illuminated the beast. It was a cat of sorts-

WTF!!!!

But with an odd combination of features. It had long ears and whiskers like a dog, but its face was unmistakably feline. Its furr was a mottled grey with white fur down its neck, and blue luminescent sports made it look like a science fiction nightlight. Its legs were more canine-strong and agile, capable of impressive leaps. And its teeth-oh teeth-were sharp enough to slice through a steak-or, you know, my leg-in one bite.

Fantastic. Just what I needed. A glow-in-the-dark-cat-dog hybrid with a taste for human flesh.

As I finally hit the ground with a thud, I quickly realized that trying to escape my princely nightmare had led me straight into another one.

"I think I should go back and sleep on time. I'm only 18 after all," I forced a grin, trying not to stare too long into the glowing blue eyes of my new furry frenemy. "Hahaha."

Too late, Meredia.

I stood there, my heart racing, as the creature's eyes glowed menacingly. It seemed unimpressed by my attempt at humor.

Fantastic. Absolute. Wonderful. Just what I needed-a glow-in-the-dark monster to mark my escape even more memorable. Why not throw in a dragon while while we're at it?

The creature, with its pre-pounce stance that screamed "I'm about to pounce on you," seemed to have every intention of turning my escape into a dramatic showdown.

I don't want to die n my birthday. It's embarrassing. What a way to end a royal affair-eaten by a glow-in-the-dark car-dog.

And then, with a mighty leap, it was airborne, heading straight for me.

I don't know! I don't know what to do!

In a desperate bid to protect myself, I dropped to the ground, curled up, and burled my face in my knees. A scream erupted from my lungs, slicing through the night like a banshee on a caffeine high.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The scream echoed off the walls, and in that moment, I wasn't sure if I was about to be mauled by a creature or just embarrass myself further. Either way, it was shaping up to be the unforgettable birthday of my life.

I was caught in a state of sheer bewilderment. Why was everything so oddly painless? Was this the afterlife? Had I slipped through some celestial loophole and landed in heaven, or was this hell-because I was definitely getting a taste of diving weirdness. I kept my eyes tightly shut, bracing for the worst: sharp claws, gnashing teeth, or an angry celestial being ready to chew me out.

Instead, I felt a gentle, almost affectionate lick on my head. It was as if a very enthusiastic, slightly overzealous toothbrush had decided to give me a grooming session.

Still not daring to open my eyes, I heard a voice that sounded like it could freeze your soul in an instant.

"Dame Dazzle, huh?"

With trembling courage, I cracked open an eye. There he was" Prince Kairan Alistair Ashbourne, towering over me like a disapproving skyscraper. His expression was a mix of utter disbelief and ice-cold disdain, as if he just discovered that his royal teapot had been replaced with a coffee maker. And beside him, the cat-dog hybrid was giving me a head message with its tail wagging like it was auditioning for a role in a petting zoo.

At 6'5", he resembled a royal skyscraper with a frown-a tall, brooding tower of annoyance, with sharp features that could slice through steel and those piercing green eyes that seemed to be assessing whether I was worth the effort of an elaborate rescue mission.

My body shook uncontrollably, my thoughts a scrambled mess. I should've just stayed in my room; at least there, I wouldn't be face-to-face with a royal grouch and his glow-in-the-dark pet.

My breath hitched and my words were caught somewhere between my throat and sheer panic, while my eyes remained locked onto him.

He regarded me with a frosty glare that could put a glacier to shame. "They call your Dame Dazzle. Quite the title for someone who just made a dramatic exit from the royal party."

Fantastic! My brain has officially short-circuited. Why did I even think I could pull off a daring escape?

His eyes narrowed dangerously as he knelt beside me, the other leg propped up in a regal pose that suggested he was about to deliver a royal decree. His voice was slow and menacing, like he was auditioning for the role of the villain in a fantasy epic. "You were trying to run away?"

I shook my head furiously, though my voice seemed to be on strike, possibly, out of sheer embarrassment.

Ignoring my frantic head shake, he continued, his tone growing sharper. "You weren't supposed to run away tonight." He reached out and gently but firmly grabbed my chin, his grip as cool and unyielding as a polar bear's handshake.

"What's that supposed to mean? I wasn't supposed to run away tonight? What?" My mind was a frantic mess, whirling with questions and nonsensical thoughts.

Oh no! Am I about to meet my end here? This is how I die-face down in the dirt, tackied by a glowing furball!

Prince Kairan's icy gaze drifted to the hybrid feline-canine creature, which immediately plopped its rear on the ground like it was auditioning for the "Best Behaved Pet" award.

Great. Not only does he have a pet that's basically a neon light show, but it listens better than most kids at a birthday party.

He turned back to me, smirking like he'd just won some royal poker game. "Aw, are you scared of me, huh?"

He smirked. He's enjoying this. It's like he's turned my terror into his personal entertainment. If he had a popcorn bucket, he'd be munching away.

I want to run. I want to run so far, I'II need a new address! Someone, please, save me from this prince and his demonic glow-in-the-dark furball!

"Let me take you back to the party, Lady... Meredia?" He extended his hand with the grace of someone offering you a deadly spider. I stared at it like it was a radioactive snake. My brain was screaming.

Run! But my legs? They've gone on strike!

Desperate and with nothing to lose, I took his hand, expecting him to pull me into a chokehold. Instead, he lifted me up with surprising gentleness, like he was handling a fragile piece of porcelain. My knees were still shaking, but I somehow managed to stand.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" His voice was dripping with mockery. He looked at me like I was a particularly entertaining really TV show.

Grabbing my hand, Prince Kairan said, "Let me take you back to the feast?"

No way. I'm not dancing with you before my untimely death!

That's not what I actually managed to say. Instead, I gave a weak, somewhat pleading shake of my head. "No, Your Royal Highness, I'm feeling quite tired and would really like to sleep."

He raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the window of my room. "Oh, the window from which you were attempting to escape, even though you weren't supposed to?"

Yes! Exactly! I want to go back to my room!

He released my hand with a nonchalant shrug. "Alright then, go back to your room from that window."

I didn't need to be told twice. I darted back to the window, grabbing the rope, and checked to make sure it was still securely tied to the foot of the bed.

Yes, it's still there!

I put one foot on the wall and began climbing up, feeling a small flicker of triumph. But just as I was getting into the groove, I felt an unexpected tug on my dress.

"Ahhh, Your Highness, what are you doing?" I yelped as I was yanked back towards the ground.

Prince Kairan had somehow grabbed the back of my dress, pulling me down with the gravity-defying strength of a royal tug-of-war champion. I lost my balance and nearly toppled over, but he managed to hold me steady with his firm grip around the back of my gown.

I looked up at him with an incredulous frown. If looks could kill, he'd be wearing an armor of angry glares. "What are you, a royal bouncer? Why are you holding me like a misbehaving kitten?"

"Don't frown, Lady Meredia," he said with a smirk. "You'II age faster that way."

Perfect. Not only am I falling to escape, but now I'm getting unsolicited life advice from a prince who clearly missed his calling as a stand up comedian.