SWNOVELXO Chapter 181
Han-bom stayed by my side with Eun-a until that night.
Eun-a kept calling Han-bom “Ajumma,” which annoyed Han-bom, but it seemed like both of them were trying to create a bright and pleasant atmosphere for my sake to some extent.
“Ugh, I’m not an Ajumma….”
Um, to some extent.
At night, we all watched a movie together. It was a blockbuster type of film, the kind that you could watch without thinking, where the script didn’t really matter. Since all three of us were writers, we ended up discussing how terrible the script was and other boring topics.
I didn’t know much about directing, but the other two were surprisingly knowledgeable in that regard, so we often ended up with more detailed analyses than expected. Of course, I watched movies to study, but the parts I knew were basically learned through other people’s explanations, so if I had to analyze it myself, nothing stood out to me.
Talk of lighting and angles—it was a completely different world.
Still, none of us were really film buffs. The conversation eventually turned back to the story.
By the way,
“Eun-a, are you writing anything these days?”
“Ah… I, I have something, right?”
But why are you acting so coy?
“Oh my, what are you writing?”
Ah, Han-bom was beside me. A thoughtless comment managed to get a strange reaction from both of them. Eun-a was now turning her face away, and Han-bom was sparkling with excitement as she rushed toward Eun-a.
“I may look like this, but I’m a professional editor! I’m the person who made a hit work with millions of views! Should I take a look at your writing?”
“No, it’s fine.”
“Come on, don’t say that. What are you writing? Is it a genre piece? What genre is it? Is it romance? In a modern setting? Or fantasy? There are so many martial arts pieces these days!”
“I said it’s fine…”
It was somewhat amusing to see Han-bom aggressively pressing while Eun-a was looking at me to gauge my reaction and refusing. If I think about what Eun-a is writing, there’s no way she would want Han-bom to find out, no matter what.
Eun-a fluttered her eyes, sending me a signal not to say anything, accompanied by a resentful stare. I’m sorry, I didn’t think of that either.
“I’ll forgive you for calling me Ajumma, so show me, okay?”
Oh, Han-bom really put out a strong card there. At this point, Han-bom had brought out her cards to the maximum. But Eun-a went even further. She brought out an even stronger card.
“Unnie.”
Wow.
“…You really don’t want to show it?”
“Yes.”
I’ve never seen Eun-a call Han-bom “Unnie” before. Eun-a had always called her Ajumma since the moment they were introduced.
“Well… then I guess there’s nothing I can do.”
With Eun-a refusing to that extent, Han-bom inevitably had to back off. To be honest, avoiding being called Ajumma was a pretty good deal. But at this point, I was also curious. Should I sneakily ask Eun-a later? I was thinking along those lines when suddenly, Eun-a turned her attention to me.
“But oppa, do you call Unnie 선배님 (sunbae-nim)? Why?”
“Well, she’s an editor sunbae, right? I don’t usually call her that formally.”
“Isn’t there a more suitable term of address, a bit more respectful?”
Why is she acting like this all of a sudden? I had a feeling she was going to say something strange to me… Is she planning to take revenge for what I said earlier?
“What’s a suitable term of address?”
“For example, ‘Unnie’… or something.”
So she is taking revenge, that crazy girl.
“No, it’s unfair for me to be the only one calling her that. What did I do wrong?”
What’s the reason for dragging me into this just because it’s unfair for her to be the only one using that term?
“Do you really hate calling her Unnie that much?”
“I think I got hurt a little.”
Han-bom’s expression fell as she looked down. Of course, it was plausible to be hurt by something like this, but her exaggerated attitude made it obvious she was just acting. Still, I felt it was a bit awkward to leave it at that, so I asked out of courtesy if it was okay.
“Are you okay?”
“I think it would be fine if Seol called me Unnie.”
“That sounds fine, I suppose.”
I should have just kept my mouth shut.
“Are you really calling him Seol?”
Why are you surprised again?
“No, that person is just doing whatever he wants on his own. If he calls me that again, I’ll get angry.”
“Why? It kind of fits.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“Seol, oppa.”
“Ugh, seriously.”
Thinking about it, these two were both the ones who led me to say that they were crazy. It was a huge mistake to put these two together.
A deep sigh escaped me. What should I say, if it were just Han-bom, I would feign anger at least, but with Eun-a acting that way too, it felt awkward to get angry. Just the day before, Eun-a had comforted me greatly, and until earlier, Han-bom was also comforting me.
Right now, I was keeping my sanity thanks to the two of them.
“…Do as you please.”
Maybe that’s why. With a half-hearted surrender, the words slipped out. Honestly, it was hard to call my own name, you know. I rationalized it that way.
“Really?! Wow!!!”
“Awesome.”
Han-bom cheered, and Eun-a was surprised thinking she didn’t expect it to actually work. Is this such a huge deal? Anyone would think I won the lottery.
“Are you sure I can call you Seol from now on?”
“It’s difficult for me to call my own name… Also, it feels uncomfortable to say ‘Seol-guk, Seol-guk’ every time I have a serious conversation.”
“There’s no going back?”
“Should I take it back now?”
“I’ll be quiet.”
While saying that, Han-bom wore a bright smile. What’s so great about it? Is this really that important? Thinking back to the letter and book my mother left behind, this name probably didn’t hold much significance. Perhaps,
“Honestly, it’s hard to call oppa’s name. Saying ‘Guk Oppa?’ feels weird, and ‘Seol-guk Oppa?’ feels a bit awkward too.”
“Maybe your mom named you after some random book title she saw lying around.”
That must be it. But suddenly, the atmosphere turned tense. Both of them were looking at me, and it really wasn’t a self-deprecating joke after all? I didn’t mean to say this hoping for that reaction.
“Don’t worry, both of you, just relax.”
“Ah, um… I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I really mean it, it’s okay.”
After all, I didn’t hold much affection for this name. I hadn’t liked it before. It was uncomfortable and strange; I even thought about changing my name at one point. The only reason I didn’t was that I held onto the silly thought that my mom might look for me someday.
Now it held no meaning.
Even after it was broadcast and announced, there was still no news. Either she didn’t want to see me, or she had already passed away. It might be one or the other. Regardless, I no longer had room to be concerned.
The awkward atmosphere didn’t easily dissipate, but nonetheless, we spent a pretty decent day together. When night came, Han-bom left with a silly parting line, asking Eun-a to take good care of me.
“We should get some sleep soon too.”
By the way, Eun-a had been sleeping on the living room floor until now. Naturally, I slept on my bed in my room. But today, suddenly, Eun-a stopped me as I was about to enter my room.
“…Can I ask one favor?”
“What is it?”
“Today, just for today, can we sleep together here?”
…It’s not a favor, is it?
Eun-a wasn’t asking because she didn’t want to sleep alone. She was worried because I was going to meet Muk Ha-neul tomorrow. Right, thank you. But I’m not that weak. It’s okay, I’ll sleep alone. Tomorrow, everything will go well.
That’s what I intended to say.
“…Alright.”
The words that came out of my mouth were the complete opposite.
“The bed is wide, so let’s sleep in the bed. It’s more comfortable that way.”
“Yes….”
I was worried I might say something strange, but thankfully, Eun-a didn’t say anything like that. Normally, she would have said something like, “This is going too fast.” In that case, maybe I could have laughed about it. I would have hit her once and still ended up sleeping together regardless.
My usual sleeping posture wasn’t very healthy. Usually, I would curl up and lie on my side. But maybe because Eun-a was next to me, I didn’t want to face her. I didn’t want to turn my back either.
So, naturally, I ended up looking at the ceiling as if I were gazing at the sky.
Naturally, all I could see was the dark world.
“Will it go well?”
That thought slipped out. My plans regarding Muk Ha-neul were truly trifling and insignificant. They had nothing to do with success or failure. It was purely for my own satisfaction—it was exactly that kind of plan. That was enough of a plan.
So Eun-a was negative regarding this plan. Even if I went through with it, there was no guarantee that Muk Ha-neul or I wouldn’t be given up on.
But what could I do? What’s important is, there are other important things.
We call that place Seol-guk because the snow doesn’t melt there.
So then, what should we call the place where the snow has melted?
“If it doesn’t work out, just let me know.”
“What can you do?”
“I’ll post something on the internet about the writer Muk Ha-neul capturing evidence and all that.”
“Isn’t that dangerous….”
“It’s not a lie, is it?”
It wouldn’t be impossible. Muk Ha-neul wouldn’t have just left the evidence lying around, but Ham Yejin would probably have that evidence too. But then I would have to meet Ham Yejin again.
“I hope that doesn’t happen.”
“To be honest, this side feels more certain.”
But with that method, they wouldn’t give up on Muk Ha-neul or me. And in the end, that was not an important issue. At this point, that kind of photo no longer held any meaning.
“When I come back tomorrow… let’s eat something delicious together.”
“Are you going to make it for me?”
“I told you I can’t cook.”
“Ordering food is just like usual….”
“That’s what makes it good.”
Because it’s just like usual.
“Well, that’s true.”
After saying that, Eun-a quickly fell asleep. It had been a long time since I slept next to someone. Aside from the time I passed out next to Hwa-won after drinking, it felt like ages. We had all slept together with blankets spread out in the living room, but that was a bit too ambiguous to be called sleeping together.
I turned my head from looking at the sky toward Eun-a.
Indeed, it was hard to fall asleep in a healthy position.
When I turned my head and lay on my side, I finally managed to fall asleep.