The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

"I haven't touched a woman in so long. When I went out to buy gold at night, the sales lady accidentally touched my hand, making me lose all composure, so I ran back home, sigh."

"This fucking is your reason for robbery and indecent assault?"

...

"It's like this—when I was staying at a hotel, a small note came through the door gap that said 'Duck, 100 per session, strong and robust, guaranteed one hour minimum, will pay back 400 if time insufficient.'

I thought it was quite a good deal, so I called him over. But that waste finished in five minutes, threw 400 yuan at me, then you guys came in.

So you really can't judge me as a seller! I'm the buyer—give me some face, just detain me for a few days as a gesture?"

...

"Listen to my explanation—I collect second-hand phones. How would I know this customer sent me a hotel location? But there's money to be made, so I had to go. Collecting phones definitely involves haggling, back and forth, so we both got sweaty and had to shower. As for the transfer records on the phone you mentioned, that's just money for collecting the phone."

...

"Day Day Up" really was a documentary. Lin Li was greatly shocked listening to conversations from several interrogation rooms.

This place really was full of talented people who spoke so nicely—truly worthy of being an enlightening young dragon field.

Tonight they arrested quite a few people at once, plus there were other cases to handle originally, so interrogation rooms were somewhat insufficient.

But fortunately, probably because he was the only minor, even though his car wasn't the earliest to arrive, he successfully cut in line for early interrogation.

His chair was the classic stainless steel interrogation stool. Yang Liang was a good comrade—just as Lin Li said "uncle," he proactively added ankle shackles too.

Lin Li felt there was already a bond between them—perhaps if he patted Uncle Yang's butt, Yang would know what position to assume.

"No need to cuff and shackle this kid, right?" Interrogation required at least two officers, so another officer who seemed slightly higher in position than Yang Liang was also here. Looking at Lin Li's handcuffs, he looked at Yang Liang with some puzzlement.

"This little beast begged me to cuff him." Yang Liang snorted heavily, expressing his annoyance.

The other officer: "?"

"This little brat's brain is probably problematic. Minor plus mental illness—damn, his buffs are maxed out. I don't even want to interrogate him. Just call his family to pick him up." Yang Liang said with a face full of bad luck.

"It's not that simple. I'm actually also a transgender activist—biological male, psychological female, but due to transvestism I still wear men's clothes, plus I'm homosexual so I like women. Moreover, I'm Jewish-Black mixed race, but due to a rare yellowing disease and genetic mutation I look like a local..."

Lin Li raised both hands at this moment and began chanting.

"Foreign buffs don't work here. Shut up." Yang Liang was now quite practiced at telling Lin Li to shut up. After speaking, he looked at the other officer: "See? I told you he's mentally ill."

The officer rubbed his temples with a headache and nodded.

"I think calling someone mentally ill in front of others is very impolite behavior." Lin Li spoke up for himself.

"Yang Liang, you're right. Let's quickly finish the procedure and have his family come pick him up." The officer nodded more vigorously.

"I know. Start the interrogation! We ask, you answer." Yang Liang nodded, then looked at Lin Li and forcefully slapped the table.

"Just because two people in love can't call out each other's names, they have to be interrogated?" Lin Li struck first instead.

Yang Liang: "..."

Interrogation was so troublesome.

He wanted to use the Great Memory Recovery Technique.

As everyone knows, his country had been called the Land of Rites since ancient times.

Then they should use fists to create rites! Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Alright, you two uncles. I've experienced about enough. It's time to reveal my identity. I'm not pretending anymore, I'm laying my cards on the table." Lin Li paused slightly with a mysterious smile: "I'm one of your people. I'm an undercover agent."

The other officer: "Indeed mentally ill."

Yang Liang: "I told you so."

Lin Li: "I'm not!"

The other officer: "Getting information from him probably isn't realistic. When you caught him, did he have ID?"

Yang Liang: "Didn't see an ID card, but he has a phone. Let's check the phone."

Lin Li: "Pay attention to me, please?"

The other officer: "You didn't mention this earlier? I thought there was only this person."

Yang Liang: "Then let's go."

The other officer: "Mm."

Lin Li: "I'm female. Hello hello, I'm female. Didn't it send? I'm women."

"..."

The two had an incredibly bland conversation, not looking at Lin Li once from beginning to end, and prepared to get up and leave.

Quite disrespectful.

Seeing both officers about to leave, Lin Li quickly explained: "No! You two uncles, I really am undercover! Rounding off, this operation was even led by me! The reason you conducted this operation tonight was because you received a phone tip, right?

That tip was made by me! My name is Lin Li, my phone number ends in 9749—you can definitely match it!"

Lin Li's statement immediately made both officers look at him. The three stared at each other speechlessly for a while, then Yang Liang's eyes widened as he said in a cracking voice:

"You're the brain... not quite normal tipster that headquarters mentioned?"

Lin Li: "..."

Brain-damaged—he was going to say brain-damaged, right? Your headquarters curses quite dirtily.

"Not me. I'm not brain-damaged, very normal." Lin Li shook his head, then earnestly guided: "Your headquarters should have also mentioned another normal, great, loving, admirable tipster, right? That one is me."

The three stared at each other speechlessly again.

"It's definitely him."

"If this fucking kid was the tipster, I can understand—it's something he could do." Yang Liang suddenly smiled with relief, turning to nod at his colleague: "No wonder I didn't see anyone actively looking for me at the scene. So it was this kid."

"Then I'll leave him to you. I'll go help others—we're really short-handed tonight." The other officer also looked somewhat amused and helpless as he stood up.

"Okay."

"Although you're the tipster, according to regulations, we can't just let you go. You still need to cooperate with me on a statement. Let's go to the office." Yang Liang stepped forward to unlock Lin Li's handcuffs and ankle shackles, and with premonition raised his head, "No. Tonight's interrogation rooms are very tight, many people are queuing to use them. We can't just do a statement like this."

Lin Li's eyes widened as he swallowed the "uncle" he was about to say.

He had actually been predicted.

Without even patting his butt, Uncle Yang already knew what position he wanted?

But Lin Li immediately nodded. Experience was one thing, but there was no need to actually cause trouble for others. Besides, he had sat in an interrogation chair—he only sought to have once possessed it, not for it to last forever.

This thing wasn't meant to last long anyway.

Regaining freedom, Lin Li stretched, then followed Yang Liang to the office and got his phone back.

Lin Li unlocked his phone, showed his call records, and confirmed his identity as the tipster.

"Damn it, I don't even know how to start this statement. Been a cop for so long, you're the first of your kind I've seen." After sitting down, Yang Liang held his head with some tears and laughter, leaning back, then said gently, "Little Lin, is there anything you want to say first yourself?"

The officer's attitude toward him had obviously changed.

Arrogant first, then respectful—thinking about it was laughable.

This idiom probably couldn't be used this way. Whatever, not important.

Lin Li nodded, then expressed his view:

"I won't say a word until my lawyer arrives."

Yang Liang: "?"

(End of Chapter)