SWNOVELXO Chapter 6 - A Dog-Eat-Dog World
Chapter 6 – A Dog-Eat-Dog World
My whole body bristled with goosebumps as I heard my master’s words.
I had thought that a love confession was just an annoying thing.
I never dreamed it could threaten someone’s life.
Every time I swallowed, my throat hurt as if my vocal cords were misaligned.
‘Won’t you take it off? Not going to listen?’
My master took a step forward as she said this.
I was angered by the contemptuous smile that filled her face.
But if you’ve ever felt the threat of someone a head taller than you approaching with one bold step,
And if you’ve seen that person’s eyes filled with emotions as red as their hair,
It wouldn’t be strange to act like I did.
As my master drew closer, I stepped backward.
Avoiding the bright red emotion that could be lust or love.
One step.
Leona momentarily showed a surprised expression,
Then raised the corners of her mouth to reveal her snow-white teeth
And said this:
‘You. If you move that foot, you’re dead.’
A sharp pain swept up from my stomach to my throat.
A tingling, acidic feeling.
My body was afraid of the violence and terror I had never experienced before.
She wasn’t really trying to kill me. Absolutely not.
I knew this intellectually.
Because I’d heard her proclaiming she fell in love at first sight.
But whether her threat to kill me now was a lie
Or whether her claim of falling in love was a lie,
Before I could weigh truth against falsehood,
My body had already stepped backward.
‘Wow.’
She didn’t hide her amused laughter at my reaction and exclaimed in admiration
Then took another step.
As she stepped forward with her left foot,
I pulled my right foot back.
‘Big sis spoke too scarily. I’ll let you off just up to there.’
Leona paused for a beat
Then spoke as if making a declaration:
‘But if you move one more time, you’ll regret it.’
Some emotion was trying to burst out of my mouth.
My heart was pounding as if it would explode, though I hadn’t been exercising.
As my master took one bold step forward, my heartbeat grew faster and faster,
I couldn’t stop my hands from trembling.
Her beautiful legs with their elegant lines
struck the floor silently, which terrified me.
I couldn’t bring myself to face her.
Before Leona’s foot could meet mine, instinct pulled me backward.
Even as I backed away, staring intently at her approaching legs,
I could feel her gaze looking down at my face.
The master was cornering me against the wall
like a cat hunting a mouse.
In the workshop that was barely ten pyeong wide,
the brief chase ended quickly.
Without even looking back to see what was behind me,
my back touched the wall next to the window.
My hand felt the windowsill with glass panes,
on the opposite side from the balcony where I had hung my work clothes earlier.
‘All done running?’
Running, she says.
Even a mouse will bite a cat when cornered.
I gritted my teeth thinking this,
but my bright red neck still stung.
If I couldn’t hit her back,
I thought I might as well properly escape
as I looked toward the window.
If I could open this damn glass window and get outside…
But the window I gazed at
was a single pane of glass.
A Renaissance-style window with an arch and latticed wooden frame supporting the weight.
A window that could never be opened unless removed entirely.
Thick bars that couldn’t be broken,
as there was no reason to open a window in a monastery wall.
Realizing there was no escape,
my legs gave out and I sank to the floor.
I could feel my master looking at me, licking her lips as if savoring the moment.
She swallowed her saliva just as I did mine.
Mine from pain, hers from anticipation.
‘You’ve been naughty. You know that?’
Her left hand slithered up my right shoulder
and tickled my chin.
My body instinctively curled up.
No. I don’t want to be hit.
Just as I was about to make one last desperate attempt
She grabbed my chin, forcing our eyes to meet
From the blazing red emotions pouring from her eyes
I couldn’t stop my body from trembling.
Needless to say, I was embarrassed.
But our master seemed to be enjoying this situation more than anything.
Before I could say anything, her lips descended upon mine.
It was my first kiss.
When people talk about first kisses, they often compare them to fruits like lemons or strawberries.
Her mouth truly did smell of lemon. Probably from the food she had eaten earlier.
Lemon and olives, pepper… flour.
But it wasn’t particularly romantic.
Her lips were squeezing, sucking, and licking mine
As if they were going to devour them whole.
I’ve heard that it’s proper manners to close your eyes when kissing.
I couldn’t afford such luxury of mind.
And I felt that if I closed my eyes here
My consciousness might just fly away.
Leona bent at the waist and indulged in my tense body and lips as if pouncing on me.
As if my soft lips were pieces of meat.
A swelling sensation on my upper lip, while her tongue rampaged inside my mouth.
When I tried to pull away because it was hard to breathe,
She grabbed my head with both hands and forced the kiss to continue.
At first, I could see Leona’s closed eyes and face.
But as time went on, even though my eyes were clearly open,
Nothing registered in my vision.
An intense feeling where I couldn’t even breathe.
A violent experience I had never tasted before.
Is this what love is?
Indeed, I understand now why it’s difficult to sculpt the loving expression of a lover.
I also understand why love is compared to fire.
Intense. Changing. Endless….
Just when I felt like everything from my philtrum to my cheeks was being crushed,
She released me and removed her lips.
As if my lung capacity had decreased, I had to breathe roughly.
‘Hoo… ha… hooo…’
I was as out of breath as if I had done 20 burpees for 5 sets.
How long had the kiss lasted?
Had my stamina weakened,
Or was this woman, who works through the night once she starts, simply extraordinary?
As I was grumbling like that
When her lips parted, I noticed a long line forming in the middle.
It was transparent saliva, but somehow it had a fragrant smell.
‘Yes…that’s it. My disciple. My beloved disciple…’
It’s a peculiar way to address someone, but
That’s just how people address each other here. My dear so-and-so.
She doesn’t love me.
No woman who loves someone would treat them like this.
That’s what I think.
Though I’ve never been in love myself.
‘You are mine. Absolutely. I won’t give you to anyone. From these beautiful eyes to every strand of your black hair. I won’t let you go home. Ever.’
Listening to Leona’s monologue
A melancholic feeling rose in my chest.
I want to go home.
I want to go outside too.
I need someone I can properly talk to, not this deranged woman.
Michaela.
We had promised to meet.
‘You know what? This is happening because you look so seductive. It’s all your fault. Flirting with women. Walking around in your underwear every day. How can you know which woman might cling to you?’
I listened to her words silently.
Once the thought of going outside, and the nostalgia of wanting to return to Seoul dropped into my heart
Like ripples flowing through water
My chest filled with an aching sensation.
How did it come to this?
Thinking how pathetic my situation had become,
I lowered my eyes and stared at the floor.
‘You’re thinking of something else.’
‘…’
I didn’t feel it was worth answering.
Does this woman also feel homesickness?
For that village called Vinci or Nabal or whatever?
Every time she opens her mouth, she just says she loves this city as a citizen.
I’m not sure.
‘Don’t tell me you’re thinking about another woman?’
‘…No.’
‘What do you mean no? You were. Clearly. I know everything.’
I wanted to sneer and say ‘good for you,’
But when she placed her fingers on my neck again
It wasn’t a good answer to give.
‘Tell me you like me. That you love me. That there’s only me.’
I don’t like it.
A woman who nags me every day and now beats and insults me isn’t my type.
If I had known it would be like this, I should have tried getting a girlfriend.
‘You won’t do it?’
As I felt her pressing her index finger firmly against me
‘…I like you.’
Like a soda popping out of a vending machine
The answer burst out.
I didn’t want my neck to be strangled again.
They say playing with human lives is the worst kind of evil.
Playing with someone’s breath isn’t much better.
Leona’s malicious atmosphere improved slightly.
However, she didn’t know satisfaction.
‘Say more. Tell me there’s no one but me.’
She wrapped her left hand more deeply around my neck.
As if she could tighten it at any moment.
As if she could expel an apprentice at any time.
Like a snake coiling around its prey before swallowing it
When her slender fingers touched the marks on my neck, my eyes closed involuntarily.
I’m not sure if I could stop a tear from falling.
I’ll give you this kind of love confession if that’s what you want. Damn it.
‘There’s only you, master…ugh.’
Fortunately, she didn’t put pressure on her left hand.
But she slid her right hand between the ties of my clothes, high on my thigh.
‘Continue.’
‘…I love you.’
As I said that, Leona’s lips twisted again.
Like the emotion she harbored.
Leona’s right hand invaded inside my pant leg.
As if there was nothing to hold her back, she fondled my genitals.
Like a living creature, her hand wriggled inside my pants, touching my testicles and penis.
With the strange sensation of someone else touching my penis for the first time
A moan involuntarily escaped my lips.
‘Uh…ah.’
‘Don’t stop.’
‘…I…like…you.’
‘No. Sincerely. Don’t just say empty words. I want to hear your true feelings.’
At the serious question, my lips clamped shut.
My mind was shaken by the lingering sensation of her lips still on mine.
I looked at Leona’s bright red hair.
She is undoubtedly a peerless beauty.
At twenty-nine, with eyes gleaming lustfully, full of desire.
Despite being drunk, despite touching other people’s bodies inappropriately,
There’s a bright, childlike intelligence in her eyes.
She’d be beautiful if she just kept her mouth shut,
No, that’s not it. If she also behaved properly.
If she didn’t party hard and drink every day.
And if she didn’t just paint but also did some sculpture.
She even made an equestrian statue here, took the money, and ran off.
…I feel pathetic for being upset about getting hit once,
But I thought our master was truly a hopeless person.
What is sincerity?
Let’s be extremely generous and say this woman loves me.
Could we live together?
Really?
‘Hey, my apprentice.’
However she interpreted my silence, Leona spoke in her beautiful voice.
It was completely different from her threatening attitude earlier,
But anyway, she was stroking my erect penis under my clothes,
So she seemed to be in a better mood.
‘I’ve given you many chances. Many. Very many.’
So I guess stroking someone else’s crotch directly
Is what you call compensation psychology, Master.
Even as I was inwardly criticizing her,
When her fingers brushed against the sensitive part at the tip of my glans,
I couldn’t help but close my eyes tightly and let out a moan.
It’s not like I haven’t masturbated before, but having someone else touch me was on another level.
It feels good. Damn it.
‘I’ve tolerated your fooling around with mud all this time.’
But one thing is certain.
If you don’t fix your attitude of disrespecting others’ majors, we absolutely cannot be together.
‘But if you betray my pure feelings like this, I can’t tolerate it either. Understand?’
Kneading my thigh as if it were entrusted to her,
Touching my entire body like a pet.
Choking my neck—what kind of pure feelings are these?
What a dog-eat-dog world.
Regardless of what I couldn’t understand,
I nodded.
As I lowered my head, I felt her fingers tightening around my neck.
‘Unbutton it.’
I mechanically followed my master’s orders.
As I unbuttoned to expose my chest,
she swallowed hard.
My saliva didn’t go down easily, caught in her grip that was tightening around my throat.
‘You lewd bastard. You’re already hard from me touching you like this. Does it feel that good?’
One moment she’s playing hard to get, the next she’s saying I’m enjoying it.
I was wondering which rhythm I should match when.
‘…ugh.’
‘Not answering?’
Leona slightly gripped the root part of my testicles with her right hand, where they connected to my body.
Just slightly.
Placing the now heavy part on her hand, and positioning the already fully erect member between her fingers.
When she applied a little pressure with her grip, a subtle stimulation went inside
A moan escaped my lips.
A strange feeling mixed with stimulation and pain.
While stimulating the shaft between her fingers,
lightly pressing the perineum with her fingertips,
and simultaneously caressing my balls with her palm.
‘I… I like it.’
Needless to say, my body was trembling.
It was on a completely different level from doing it alone a few times.
Still, I was scared.
It felt like a warning that she could suddenly grip tightly if I displeased her.
I’m probably overreacting. Surely she wouldn’t do that.
But I couldn’t just keep taking it passively.
In porn, it’s normal for the man to be the one thrusting.
As long as my physical structure hasn’t changed, I should be able to do it too.
But even if I were to send this woman away,
it’s obvious she would just nag endlessly.
The more I thought about how to establish my position even slightly,
the more she played with my genitals like a toy,
making my body shake with pleasure.
My vision blurred, my breathing stopped then quickened.
In the midst of waves of pleasure from my lower body, I floundered before coming to my senses.
How should I speak to gain control?
Let’s start by acknowledging the other’s superiority.
Then I can flip things over in the middle of sex.
Being a virgin male means I’m in the virgin position in this world.
What do innocent girls usually say before sex that men like?
After contemplation, I opened my mouth.
‘…please don’t hurt me.’