The Love They Never Had

She was already awake when I woke up halfway throughout the day after we had spent a long night together. She had just taken a bath and she was brushing out her wet hair completely topless, which just made me stare at her even longer. Her skin was just as smooth and supple as the very first time that i touched her and just as scented. Her long wet hair trickled down to the floor and the sight of her long legs were driving me crazy, but i had work to get on with and i couldn't confine myself to my bed even more so than I had for a few days now. But this was a sight that i longed to wake up to every single day before i headed to work in this gruelling place that was stressing me out more than anything, so i had no idea how Yeon was holding up after everything hat she had been through. The constant plans that we both came up with and revenge plots were taking a toll on us and we desperately needed a break. I missed Hwi, his friends, my nephew and his village terribly, as well as his wife's company within the whole group. She was just a pleasant person to be around, and the same went for Hwa-Wol and her precious children.

"What are you thinking so hard about, husband?" "I am thinking about the day when you will have the right to call me husband in that village of yours. I am thinking about the days when we can bathe together, eat together and undress each other all day long." "Is that so?" "In the morning, you shall not get out if bed until we are fully satisfied and can no longer carry on. Then you will fill up the bath for both of us and we shall eat breakfast together. You will dress me and come to see me in the palace so that we can have lunch together. You shall have your free time until i come home where i expect another hot bath and dinner to be ready, and then…" "Do you really have to plan it all until the very last second? We already live with such discipline within the palace, the brothel and under your fathers roof." "All I know is discipline and routine, and establishing one will ensure that we can spend as much time as possible…Yeon. You haven't told me that you love me in a while now."

"Nam Seon-Ho; you are a man that i care greatly for and that will not change, even as i lie in your bed wih you every night. But…" "But?" "The half-breed who lived under his father's roof and started to slowly discover himself. He is the one that i am in love with, not this other side of you that has emerged after you came back from war. I am your companion forever, but the man that you left behind will always be the one that i belong to." "You want a weak and foolish man when you can have me instead? I am even different when we…" "The young man who survived under his father's roof and the one who chased me in the neighbouring village; he is mine and i am his, even if you are better under the sheets now." "Yeon…i am not well…." "We both need a break from the palace as i am also at my breaking point much earlier than i had expected. Let us both retire to my father's village, and collect ourselves; let us focus on helping the people who need our help and resources the most." "I shall marry you there." "You can bed me as much as you like My Lord, but i will only marry the man whom i belong to." "Do you not think that i am capable of taking you by force?" "You wouldn't dare to do so in front of my brother and his family." "I shall cross any lines to have you as I have in the past...and you can make me the person that i was again. Whilst you raise my family for me." "Are you really confident in your choice of woman?" "You are the only woman who can give me everything that i want from all angles." "And what about me? What do i get in return?" "A man who is god in bed, who can spoil you and can give you children once we keep trying for it properly." "So what have we been doing all of this time?" "I understand that we are supposed to be modest, even when it comes to courtship. But after everything that we have been through, we both want and deserve more than that, don't we? You see, we are more alike than you think and I am the only man in the world that can give you what you want."

I could still tell in my less than sober state that she had already surrendered herself to me a long time ago, even when it conflicted with her own mysterious interests. But she was also just as exhausted as i was and she needed somebody to see her from the place that she was no supposed to set foot in at all, but yet she hd already made some positive changes…it was going to be hard to lock up this bird in my cage, but it will not be forever. There were too many people that wanted a piece of the both of us and I needed her all to myself, at least until she bore children for me, and then she could have her freedom back, as my wife.

"What hairpin are you putting on? I didn't buy you this one?" "It was a gift from The Third Prince that belonged to his step-mother after the whole pregnancy debacle as a consolation gift. After today, take this and the entire Shu Brocade attire and hand it over to my brother for good use. i intend to use everything that i can from the place to ease his financial burdens towards my father's people, as he still has his won family to provide for." "You yourself are still quite young and fair; and you need something like this....." "I will only keep what i need and don't you are think of wasting your money on pretty little gifts like this for me, as we have plenty of things to do when we pool all of your resources together. Now eat the breakfast that i made you whilst i fill up your bathtub, then pay a visit to your sister-in-law and collect the Shu Brocade. I will reprimand The Royal Children on their behaviours towards her yesterday…" "And then you will retreat yourself back to The Imperial Library?" "I am just re-organising things as the people in charge are doing a sloppy job of it...what are you doing?" Just because i wasn't completely sober yet, that didn't mean that I was blind. i still had my wits about me, enough to realise that she was up to something once again and I was going to get to the bottom of it, or rather, she was going to tell me about it herself. "Enjoy your free tie in the place whilst i am bust wife, but it will not last for long. By next week latest, we shall both be out of here and you will tell me exactly what you are up to in there, or I will find out fr myself and punish you accordingly." "You have never punished me before for anything, can you really bare to do so now?" "Myself and your brother have clearly allowed you too much freedom for you to even get where you are now, and that will change after i lock you up away in our new home." "You cannot keep me hostage once again!" "Just you watch me, Seo Yeon, nobody will be allowed to look upon your beautiful face again apart from the 5 children that you will give me." "5!" "What? It is only the minimal number that we should start out with, it is not?" "Minimal? Look how small i am, have you lost your mind? Husband!"

As usual, the smile on my face vanished as soon as ii walked away from my on safe space as I was constantly thrown into turmoil, trying to remember who I had made plans for inside the palace and what for. and when it came to my sister-in-law, she was already doing a terrible job at the one chance she had to carve out a life for herself here and i couldn't keep giving her opportunities to help herself. I was going to leave her behind here as I couldn't take her to Yeon's father's village, so she needed to figure out a way to pull herself together once i had a new focus to wrk on the family that i was so close to having to myself finally.

"…You promised me that Seo Yeon wouldn't be in the palace, brother-in-law, so what exactly is going on? What has happened here? And when do you plan to bring her back to her brother?" "She will leave as soon as The Attendant Choi and her family is put down, then there will no longer be any need o keep her here at all." "judging by how well-rested you seem, you must have had a very good night last night..." "Cut it out, what i do with her is my private business. And as for you, Yeon is going t reprimand the children who have disrespected you, but this is the very last chance that I can give you here..." "Give me something else, for i am not suited to this task...." "Never demand anything from me again, as i wish not to be a nepotistic official, and i never will be..." "Of course, that rule does not apply to The Seo's, whereas i am your blood family…." "I am not married into their family yet, so i can do everything for them until the day i wed Yeon. so, give me the things that belong to her and i shall make my way over to…" "Are you going to take down Attendant Choi's brother? And then what? Just marry Yeon and leave me and my son here alone?" "I have to help The emperor eliminate opposing factions first that were created by his own son and who knows? This might even be my chance to eliminate The Third Prince myself this time even before my marriage is to take place, so make peace with the children that are keeping you here, or else you will be out of here along with Attendant Choi and her family." "You will really abandon your firs nephew for a girl that you have spoiled before the wedding night?" She is mine to spoil, mine to use and exploit until she gathers her senses and leaves this place, and even after that, i will still marry her with a willing heart. And as for you, i am long tired of your ceaseless chatters. If you were not so naive, not so easily irritated ad not so easy to provoke, then life in he palace wouldn't be this hard for you at all. And if you were not so stupid, less attractive and more good-natured and sensible instead of being so wilful, then i would be more willing to help you out." "But!"

"If Yeon was not here, then you would have been placed in a much lower position in the palace, and trust me that is a miracle in itself since you haven't even taken up the opportunity to educate yourself n being a noble woman to protect your son once he grows up. Not only do you lack common sense, you dress quite shabbily for a titled woman and you have a miserable aura about you which is the opposite of hers. You are also unable to win anyone over without the positiveness of even my sisters-in-law who carry the reputation of kiseangs. It must be hard for you to sustain yourself in your quarters without their help and you dare to look down on them? Really? You know what, sometimes i think that i exaggerate when it comes to monitoring Yeon, but now i see that everyone close t her outside of her brother's circle has betrayed her and you are not that different after all."