The Great Qin Empire---Qin Li

Chapter 342: Chapter 343 Funny



"Zhonglang Huling, I heard that the golden man in Xianyang Palace is ten times taller than me. Is it true?"

Heifu turned his head and looked at Youzhan, who was in the same car with him. He was only five feet tall and was a congenital dwarf with short legs and arms, but he had an exaggerated mustache on his lips, which made him look even more funny.

He did not answer the dwarf's question directly, but looked at the people on the road in Xianyang City. They were accustomed to the emperor's tour. Apart from bowing and bowing, they were not too surprised. Instead, they were more curious about the little dwarf jumping on Heifu's car.

"I think the people are as interested in you as the Jin people in the palace."

Youzhan stood on the railing, waved to the people on the road, made faces at the children, and smiled: "The people of Xianyang will naturally be surprised, because for someone like me to survive in Qin is no less of a miracle than the Jin people."

Heifu was familiar with the laws and regulations, so he naturally knew what he meant. Qin law strictly prohibited people from killing their children without authorization. Once they violated the law, they would be tattooed and forced to work in the city. But it also stipulated that if a child was born with foreign objects on his body or incomplete limbs, killing him would not be a crime...

Xunzi said that the Qin people were narrow-minded and cruel, and the difficult living environment made it impossible for ordinary people to have a person who ate white rice.

So walking on the streets of Xianyang, you rarely see those with congenital disabilities, and there are almost no dwarfs. It's not that the Qin people are superior, but that these people were almost killed at birth!

But Youzhan was an exception. His parents were kind people and his family conditions were okay. They didn't drown him in the toilet, but let him live a good life.

When he grew up, Youzhan was only five feet tall. He couldn't be a scholar, farmer, merchant or businessman. He had to find another way. He went to Xianyang and learned from the entertainers from Qi and Chu who came to Qin to make a living. He learned funny and amusing things.

The entertainers were common in various countries. Their main duty was to serve as family servants. At banquets, they entertained the monarchs and princes with humorous and funny words. Life was not easy. As a dwarf, he could only make himself versatile.

Youzhan had a good eloquence. After many years in Xianyang, he became Qin Shihuang's favorite entertainer. When there was a banquet, he often asked him to attend and say some funny words to liven up the atmosphere and entertain.

Today, the twelfth Jinren landed in the Xianyang Palace. The emperor wanted to hold a banquet in the palace to celebrate this event, so he also brought Youzhan with him...

Youzhan did not take the carriage given by the emperor today, but ran to the palace gate with his short legs to wait. When the emperor's carriage passed by, the little man ran out to apologize, saying that his coachman's mother had passed away, so he sent him home.

At that time, he rolled up his sleeves, pointed to the position of Zhao Gao, the commander of the Central Chariot House, and said seriously: "I came here to practice driving skills diligently. Your Majesty, why don't you let me drive the six horses?"

This made the emperor laugh, and with a wave of his hand, he asked Heifu, the commander of the Zhonglang Household in front, to lift the little man onto the carriage and take him for a ride.

Heifu did not think it was humiliating because he had a good impression of Youzhan. Although the little man's main job was to be funny, he was different from the vulgar ordinary actors. He had read some books, knew good and evil, and recognized loyalty and treachery, and his words often implied truth.

Last month, the emperor held a banquet in Zhangtai Palace. It happened to be raining. Under the steps of the palace, Heifu and his guards were all soaked in the rain, but they could not move. When Youzhan entered the palace and saw this situation, he asked everyone: "Do you want to avoid the rain?"

Everyone was soaked a little bit, and nodded one after another. Heifu could not enter the palace to ask for a rest. Knowing that Youzhan had many ideas, he wanted to see what tricks he could play.

After getting a positive answer, Youzhan went to the palace to toast Qin Shihuang and shouted long live. Then Youzhan approached the railing and shouted loudly to the outside of the palace: "Tun Lang!"

The guards agreed, and Youzhan laughed and said: "Although you are tall, what's the use? Now you have to stand in the open air and get wet. Although I am short, I am lucky to be in the palace to avoid the rain, hahaha."

This sentence reminded Qin Shihuang, so he allowed the guards to reduce their duty by half and take turns to guard.

From then on, Heifu no longer regarded Youzhan as an ordinary favored minister.

Not long after the emperor crossed the Wei Bridge, they arrived at Xianyang Palace.

"Is this the first time for Zhonglang Huling to come to Xianyang Palace?" Youzhan was a frequent visitor here. Compared with him, Heifu was a newcomer.

Heifu said, "Yes, it has been four months. This is the first time that Your Majesty has moved to Xianyang Palace since I entered the palace as a Lang, so I have never had the honor to come here."

"Nothing is fortunate."

Youzhan smiled and said, "Xianyang Palace was built a hundred years ago. Those Jique are very old, so Your Majesty prefers Zhangtai Palace and dislikes Xianyang Palace for its narrowness."

Heifu nodded, "However, I heard that Xianyang Palace has been expanded and renovated a lot in the past few months."

Qi Yan Taoist Lu Sheng and others suggested to Qin Shihuang that the sky and the earth are symmetrical, and the residence of the Emperor of Heaven in the sky also corresponds to the palaces and cities in Guanzhong. The Wei River is like the Milky Way, and the Zhangtai Palace where your majesty lives is the celestial pole. After crossing the Wei Bridge and the Milky Way, you will arrive at the Xianyang Palace, which corresponds to the Ziwei Palace and is the emperor's residence...

Qin Shihuang believed their words and began to pay attention to the Xianyang Palace again and renovate it.

Today, with the casting of the twelve golden men and their placement in the Xianyang Palace, it also announced that the first phase of the Xianyang Palace renovation project was successfully completed.

"But your majesty's desire is more than that..."

Youzhan shook his head. He was also a close minister, so he also knew the emperor's next plan.

The "Six Kings Palace" built by Qin Shihuang to imitate the palaces of the six kingdoms has risen behind the Xianyang Palace as the six kingdoms have successively perished. The jade and silk ritual vessels of women looted from the six kingdoms are filled in it. This is regarded as the second phase of the project, and it is now halfway through.

That would be fine, but Qin Shihuang's ultimate goal was to build a "heaven on earth" in Guanzhong, adding palaces in various places, from Yongmen to Jing and Wei in the east, with halls and corridors lined up around the pavilions, so that they correspond to the stars in the sky one by one!

As he spoke, the Wailang Ling guarding the Xianyang Palace opened the heavy gate. Under Meng Yi's order, Hei Fu and other guards led the way in several cars and drove in first, and stayed on the left and right.

When the car entered the city gate, Hei Fu saw a wide square at first glance. The ground paved with foundation stones was very flat, and a central axis road led directly from Sima Gate to the main hall of Xianyang Palace.

On both sides of the road, there were twelve huge golden men standing upright!

Each of them was five feet tall, about 11 meters in later generations, four stories high, and they were sitting in a kneeling posture.

The first six golden men wore foreign clothes and did not look like Xia people. Hei Fu pointed at them and found that except for the five-meter-tall giant with a high nose and deep eyes that appeared in Lintao, the others corresponded to the Western Rong, Eastern Yi, Southern Man, Northern Di Xiongnu, and Yue people.

The next six were the six kings of Qi, Chu, Yan, Han, Zhao, and Wei. Their faces were lifelike, and they all looked respectful, with different clothes and demeanor. They looked like Terracotta Warriors magnified seven or eight times...

The difference is that the Terracotta Warriors were used to guard the emperor's mausoleum, while these twelve golden men symbolized the surrender of the six countries and four barbarians.

It didn't feel much when I looked at them individually, but when the twelve people were lined up on the side of the road, they reflected the metallic luster under the sunlight. Thinking that this was in 221 BC, I felt that they were indeed a miracle...

The Colossus of Rhodes, the Pyramids, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria, in the West during the same period of time, there were also many miracles. This is also a common problem of classical empires.

"So tall, so big."

Youzhan looked up exaggeratedly on Heifu's car, looking at the twelve golden men that were ten times taller than him, and sighed: "What a pity, they are so big but useless! They are just things that hurt the country and the people!"

Heifu glanced at the little man in surprise, and Youzhan also grinned and said: "Are you wondering why I, a singer and entertainer, would say such a thing?"

Youzhan stopped joking and became serious: "The news that Zhonglang Huling wrote to Your Majesty earlier has spread. Although it seems that he only suggested to melt a thousand swords into a bed for the emperor, in fact, he was reminding Your Majesty that it is not easy to win the world, and it is even harder to keep the world!"

"I heard the implication of your words. It is to persuade Your Majesty that instead of issuing corvée and gathering the strength of 100,000 people to cast twelve golden men, it is better to cast a difficult bed for the emperor to remind the emperor and future generations not to forget Ju. It is really well-intentioned!"

Heifu was a little surprised. Did Youzhan make a mistake?

"You are the first courtier who dares to speak out and advise on this matter! You should be a role model for us!"

Youzhan bowed to Heifu with admiration in his eyes.

Heifu was speechless. He was just a time traveler with a bad taste. But unexpectedly, Qin Mochengshang came to thank him afterwards, saying that he didn't expect Heifu to really advise. Unfortunately, His Majesty didn't listen, which made him confused.

Heifu thought about what Youzhan said and realized that he had made a mistake. It looked like a witty advice!

"Could it be that Zulong also thought so and rejected my advice?"

Heifu didn't know whether he was making a fool of himself or making a fool of himself. He wanted to explain: "I didn't... It's not me..." But Youzhan seemed to be greatly encouraged and didn't give him a chance to explain.

"Although Youzhan is a singer and actor, he dare not be compared with Yan Ying and Chunyu Kun of Qi, but he can learn from You Meng during the reign of King Zhuang of Chu!"

These three people are all people who can give advice with witty words, and they are also his idols.

After saying this, the dwarf put on a funny look again, skipping and jumping past the feet of the twelve golden men, running towards Qin Shihuang's carriage. Under the huge golden men, the short dwarf stumbled and ran, looking very funny.

When the emperor got off the car and looked at the first miracle he had established with his hands behind his back with satisfaction, he asked Youzhan if the twelve golden men were spectacular. Youzhan smiled and said, "Good, these twelve golden men are tall and big. With them guarding Your Majesty, if the enemy comes from outside the palace, they will be scared away just by seeing these golden men, and there is no need for guards to stay at the palace gate!"

"I also heard that Your Majesty wants to build a large palace, east to Hangu Pass, west to Yong and Chencang, so it would be even better. In this way, the soldiers don't have to guard Hangu and Wuguan. If the enemy comes from the east, the palace ladies and concubines can hold bows and arrows, ride elks, and drive sheep carts to stop them in the palaces!"

Heifu happened to walk to the side. When he heard this and saw that the emperor looked unhappy, his heart tightened immediately. He hurriedly smiled and stepped forward to smooth things over, saying, "Your Majesty, Youzhan was so scared that his legs were weak, so he said this."

Qin Shi Huang was disappointed and felt very unhappy, but he did not want to argue with a dwarf who spoke without thinking.

How could a small singer know his good intention of setting up the golden man to symbolize the submission of the six kingdoms and the four barbarians, and the end of war in the nine states?

So he scolded him: "Nonsense! The world has been settled, the six kings are all submissive, there is peace inside and outside the pass, and the people are feasting. Where do the invaders come from?"

Just as he was about to wave his sleeves and let Heifu take this man away and drive him out of the palace, he did not expect that among the people who came from the steps of the main hall of Xianyang Palace, the leader, who was dressed in a plain white robe, with a jade pendant on his waist, and stood out from the crowd of black robes, also heard Youzhan's advice.

He gritted his teeth, ignored the attempts of a servant to stop him, and took a few steps forward, bowing and saying:

"Your Majesty, the words of the singers and dancers are crude, but they also make sense. I have recently read and seen the words of Mozi, who said that those who share the benefits of the world will gain the world. Those who monopolize the benefits of the world will lose the world! Today, the world has just been settled, and the people from far away have not yet gathered. Your Majesty should share the benefits of the world, not monopolize the benefits of the world and start construction projects all at once!"

After saying this, he raised his head, revealing a delicate face like jade. Although he was only seventeen or eighteen years old, his eyes already showed a look of compassion for the world.

"Fusu dares to speak without hesitation. I do not ask Your Majesty to withdraw the Jin people, but I hope Your Majesty can stop repairing the palace in Guanzhong! Let the people rest!"


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