SWNOVELXO Chapter 187
Chapter 187
I lay on the mattress, staring blankly at the ceiling.
“I miss Seok-hyung….”
There was no answer to my muttering into the air.
I knew there was a staff member listening to my words 24 hours a day, but I tried to ignore it.
‘How can he not visit for over a week?’
I knew what it meant that Seok-hyung wasn’t coming to see me.
It was a kind of punishment.
A gentle punishment to let me know, ‘If you want to see me, you have to succeed in the experiment.’
Since I had failed the experiment for the entire past week, it was natural that I couldn’t see Seok-hyung.
‘…But still, a week is too much.’
The rules were simple.
If I succeeded in the experiment, I would be rewarded with ‘a meal with Kang Seok.’
No matter if my bones were broken, my flesh torn, or blood spilled, if I completed the given task, I would see Seok-hyung’s smiling face.
I could share a delicious meal with him and chatter away until I fell asleep.
Seok-hyung would stay with me with a gentle smile until I fell asleep.
‘Of course, when I woke up the next day, I was always alone.’
As if it had all been a dream.
“Sigh….”
These rules didn’t come about all at once.
Seok-hyung naturally reduced the time he spent with me.
He was someone who stayed by my side with a smile even when I told him to get lost because he was annoying.
The person who seemed like he would always be by my side was no longer there.
‘I understand his intention.’
Even Seok-hyung knew I wasn’t stupid.
The people who created me had to put a lot of data into my head.
Seok-hyung knew I could objectively judge this situation.
That’s why he was sure.
That no matter what I knew or thought, nothing would change.
And he was right.
‘Then what do you want me to do?’
Commit suicide? I don’t even know if that’s possible.
Admitting that I was being used as a test subject wouldn’t change anything.
Seok-hyung knew this, and so did I, and everyone knew.
No matter what happened, I could never abandon Kang Seok first.
‘…Still, it’s bitter.’
Living my whole life in constant fear of being abandoned.
The life that might not have much time left felt miserable.
Just then, a modulated voice came from the ceiling speaker.
[“H. Get up. Agent Jang Yosuk is coming in.”]
“Okay~.”
At least they were sending a minion.
As soon as I got up with a groan, the door opened.
Agent Jang, who entered with his usual stern face, wasn’t alone.
I sighed as I saw a strange boy following him.
‘Another experiment?’
I had just come out feeling refreshed.
The thought of seeing blood again was depressing, but I endured it, thinking of the meal with Seok-hyung.
“Yosuk-hyung.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“Ugh, you’re not letting it slide today either. Fine. Agent Jang.”
I raised my empty hands with a smile.
“I don’t have a gun right now. I left it in the lab earlier. Should I go get it?”
“…? Why suddenly a gun?”
His stern face changed to one filled with doubt.
So I asked back, even more puzzled.
“Then how should I kill him? Do I just smear some blood on him like last time?”
“Hey!! Why would you kill him!!”
“Whoa! Why are you yelling!”
I raised my voice in protest.
‘I’ve never seen that expression before.’
He was always calm, but it was the first time I saw him get so angry.
Agent Jang spat out his words with a face full of annoyance.
“Don’t talk about killing so carelessly. He’s my nephew.”
Nephew?
I stared intently at the boy next to Agent Jang.
The boy had an awkward expression.
“They don’t look alike at all.”
“So what.”
“Ah, why are you so irritable today!”
Agent Jang had never been kind to me.
I wasn’t upset because Seok-hyung was there, but today, my mood was what it was, so I felt annoyed too.
‘It’s not like I did anything.’
Of course, I thought he was a test subject because I had never seen his face before.
I pouted and glared at Agent Jang and the boy.
They must have felt my gaze, but Agent Jang looked at the boy as if I didn’t exist.
“Jihoon. If anything happens, just scream. I’ll come right away. Got it?”
“Yes, uncle. Don’t worry.”
The boy replied politely, watching me warily.
I didn’t like it even more seeing that.
After giving his nephew a rundown of the rules, Agent Jang finally looked at me.
“H. Don’t be rude and behave.”
“…Who’s being rude now.”
“What?”
Agent Jang frowned menacingly.
But I didn’t want to lose.
“You should have explained and brought him. Why are you getting mad after suddenly dragging in a stranger? Is this my fault? You’re the one who threw away manners with your meal.”
“Don’t call me hyung―.”
“Oh, damn! That title, I get it too!”
As I shouted so loud my neck veins stood out, Agent Jang flinched.
I also froze for a moment.
“…Sorry for swearing.”
Although various curses were inputted as data in my brain, it was the first time I actually used them.
It was also the first time I raised my voice so loudly.
My ears were ringing from the volume of my own voice.
It sounded like a gunshot.
“…”
Agent Jang stared at me blankly.
So did the boy.
The way they looked at me like I was an animal in a cage was especially unpleasant today.
‘Don’t stare….’
I didn’t know why I was like this either.
As I clenched my teeth and suppressed my emotions, a voice came from the speaker.
[“Agent Jang Yosuk. Please come to the main conference room immediately.”]
The repeating announcement broke the silence.
Agent Jang sighed heavily and patted the boy’s head.
“I’m leaving. Jihoon, just follow the rules I told you.”
After speaking gently to the boy, Agent Jang left.
Before the door closed, he glanced at me, but it was only for a second or two.
“…”
“…Hi? I’m―.”
“Don’t act friendly.”
I cut him off before he could continue in a friendly voice.
I turned my body and moved toward the mattress.
Deliberately avoiding looking at the boy, I lay down on the mattress.
‘Annoying.’
I curled up like a worm and looked at the opposite wall.
It was a white wall I was sick of seeing.
“Cut!”
I blinked at the loud voice of a man shouting.
As soon as I came to my senses, I sat up straight on the mattress.
“I’ll check the scene.”
While the PD was reviewing the footage, a staff member came over and fixed my messy hair.
As soon as the setting was done, I approached Seo Ji-oh.
“Seo Ji-oh.”
“Huh?”
Seo Ji-oh, who was standing with a dazed look, opened his eyes wide.
I was more surprised because his expression didn’t suit him at all.
“Why are you surprised?”
“Ah… No, I thought you were going to scold me.”
“…? Me?”
Seo Ji-oh’s acting wasn’t bad.
He looked a little nervous, but his expression was similar to what the character needed, so there was nothing bothersome.
‘Even if his acting was bad, could I scold him?’
He really seemed to think I was someone special.
Judging by his words, it seemed like he was trying to use me, but in reality, his actions were trivial.
At best, he would introduce himself to actor Kim Seok-jun as a ‘close’ friend of Lee Yeon-jae.
If Bi-hyuk found out, he’d say, ‘See! I told you he’s really weird!’
Whether it was trivial or not, it was still true that he was trying to use me.
But actually, I…
‘He’s like a child.’
It was just funny.
The best he could do, thinking he was using his brain, was to introduce himself as ‘Lee Yeon-jae’s close friend.’
What does that even do? Is it really helpful?
‘Someone might think I recommended him.’
He had gotten in through a proper audition, so why was he acting like that?
‘What’s going on in that head of his?’
Understanding others seemed really difficult.
So I stopped thinking and patted Seo Ji-oh’s shoulder.
“If there’s something to scold about, the PD will do it. But he won’t. You did well.”
“…Thanks.”
Even a casual compliment made Seo Ji-oh’s face visibly brighten.
It was such a childlike look that it felt strange.
‘Is it because Han Ha-ram isn’t here?’
On weekdays like today, Han Ha-ram had to go to school too.
Maybe it was because of Han Ha-ram’s absence that Seo Ji-oh particularly caught my attention.
“Yeon-jae, you’re really good at acting.”
“Thanks.”
“Watching from the side, it was just… really great. I can’t say anything but that it was really great….”
Yeah, how could I not pay attention to someone like this?
He usually loosened his facial muscles and smiled, but now there was only a kid mumbling
with a blank face.
He had shown a similar reaction at the hotel during the Jeonju International Film Festival…
‘But he didn’t openly praise me like this.’
I could feel the staff glancing over at us.
If left alone, he’d keep spouting praises, so I covered Seo Ji-oh’s mouth.
“Mm.”
“I know I did well. I practiced a lot for that scene. So I have no regrets.”
I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I repeated each line two hundred times.
I practiced that much to find the optimal tone and expression, and I was very satisfied with my performance.
I looked at Seo Ji-oh, whose mouth I had covered.
“You feel the same way, right?”
“…”
Seo Ji-oh slowly nodded, and I removed my hand.
“Yeah, I think so.”
The same went for Seo Ji-oh’s acting.
You could see the traces of his effort in every fleeting glance.
‘There are many cases where a lot of practice ends up being useless in actual performance.’
From that perspective, Seo Ji-oh was quite a skilled actor.
Proving my point, the PD shouted loudly.
“Okay~! We’ll use that take for the full shot and move on to close-ups right away.”
The staff cheered.
It made sense since an earlier finish meant they could go home sooner.
The PD, who had taken off his headphones, approached us.
“What was your friend’s name again? Sorry, I forgot.”
“It’s Seo Ji-oh.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. I’ll remember that. Your acting is good.”
“…Thank you.”
The PD lightly patted Seo Ji-oh on the back and disappeared.
Watching Seo Ji-oh stand there blankly, lips twitching, I laughed.
“You’re in trouble now.”
“Huh? What?”
You’re in big trouble.
Seo Ji-oh’s blank expression made me laugh more.
It was a laugh of shared misfortune.
I was in trouble too.
“You won’t be able to live without acting now.”
“…”
Seo Ji-oh’s face looked even more bewildered at my words.
It was like he didn’t understand what I meant.
It seemed silly to explain further in front of him, so I swallowed my words.
“We’ll start shooting Seok-jun’s close-up first. Everyone, please get to your positions!”
“Yes~!”
“Hey, put that light over there!”
Amidst the noisy commotion, I patted Seo Ji-oh’s shoulder.
“Seo Ji-oh, we still have a lot of filming left, so hang in there. Let’s do well.”
“Oh, okay.”
After seeing him nodding involuntarily, I returned to my place.
‘It seems he’s destined to be an actor too.’
Seo Ji-oh said he wanted to become an actor because his mother abandoned him.
But I was sure.
Seo Ji-oh would continue acting regardless of his mother.
How do I know?
‘Because I’m the same.’
At first, I learned acting to completely remove the misfortune factor, and then I continued because I liked having Jin-bae hyung always by my side.
On the other hand, I wanted to keep receiving Bi-hyuk’s love, so I acted.
But now I knew.
Even if the misfortune factor had nothing to do with acting, even if Jin-bae hyung left me, even if Bi-hyuk no longer liked me.
I would continue living as an actor.
I had come to that realization at some point.
‘Of course, I want to keep Jin-bae hyung and Bi-hyuk too.’
Even if someone called me greedy, I didn’t want to change my mind.
Then I’ll just be greedy; it’s that simple.
I was glad the solution was straightforward.
“We’re resuming filming! Everyone, gather around!”
At the staff’s shout, I lifted my head.
Seo Ji-oh, who still looked dazed but was trying his best to pull himself together, came into view.
‘Looks like I’ll be seeing his face often.’
I thought our connection would end with just being classmates at school.
I stared blankly at Seo Ji-oh.
The kid who was just a classmate had suddenly stepped into my boundary.
The problem was that it didn’t feel so bad.
‘What should I tell Bi-hyuk?’
It was obvious I’d be dealing with headaches, which was a bit troublesome.