SWNOVELXO Chapter 5: Part 5
Shishui had already decided about it; it wasn't that Itachi had convinced him, but rather that he had confirmed what he had known deep within his heart. The Hidden Leaf Village had always held paramount importance to him. Lately, he couldn't shake the feeling of homesickness. He missed the familiar sights and sounds of the village—the rustling of leaves, the laughter of his people, the warm glow of the setting sun over the rooftops. He didn't want to be away any longer; the weight of loneliness had become unbearable. He couldn't stand it for another minute.
In contrast, for Ayumi, the village didn't seem to carry the same significance. In all their time together, she had never shown a hint of longing for the Hidden Leaf, never once appearing nostalgic or reflective about it. He envied her untroubled outlook on life. Her world was simplistic and clear-cut—her family was her sole focus and priority. Would she ever be able to understand the turmoil he was experiencing? At that moment, he selfishly thought it didn't matter if she could. After all, she would never abandon him, right? Wasn't he the most significant part of her life? Shouldn't his ambitions and dreams parallel her own?
Yet he was perplexed by her hostility towards his feelings regarding the village. If she felt so indifferent about supporting him, then why had she given him his eyes back? The very thought left him confused and frustrated.
At that moment, he imagined her in their home—Ayumi bustling around her shop, lost in her world of cooking, reading, and sculpting, seemingly at peace. She wore a white, elegant outfit and added carefully chosen accessories that gave her a delicate and light look. To him, she appeared like a fragile, otherworldly princess. Yet beneath that façade, he knew her true nature. He had seen her fight. The woman he adored was not as naïve or delicate as she presented herself to be—she was fierce, bloodthirsty, and relentless to protect what she cared for. .
"Ayumi," he called softly, watching as she immersed herself in the vibrant colors of her landscape painting. She adored painting, especially capturing the serene beauty of nature on canvas.
"Hmmm," she responded, her focus unwavering as her brush danced across the surface, strokes meticulously defining the rolling hills and the golden hues of sunset.
"I want us to return to the village," Shisui said, breaking the peaceful silence that enveloped them. Ayumi paused mid-stroke, her brush hovering in the air as she turned to meet his gaze, curiosity etching her features.
She furrowed her brow, a hint of confusion flickering in her eyes. "Why?" she inquired, her voice laced with concern as she tried to grasp the reason behind the unexpected declaration.
'It's time,' he replied.
Her expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. "What has gotten into you all of sudden?" she pressed.
"It's not sudden," he insisted. "It's been brewing inside me for a long time, and you know it very well. Isn't that why you returned my eyes to me?" His gaze pierced through her. "Why are you acting like you don't know?"
Silence filled the space as she closed her eyes, letting the moment sink in. Deep down, she understood his desire to move on, to return to a life in the village that held memories and responsibilities. She wanted to support him in this journey, but there remained a nagging reluctance within her. The joy of having him—fully and completely—was a comfort she had grown accustomed to. The thought of sharing him with the world again filled her with dread.
What troubled her the most was the uncertainty that loomed over her heart. 'What am I to him?' she thought, grappling with the question that refused to let go. 'Who am I to him?' The fear of losing him, both to distance and the ties that bound him to his past, gnawed at her. These thoughts swirled in her mind as she wrestled with the impending changes and her deep-seated emotions."
As Ayumi stood amidst the vibrant colors of her canvas, the brush gliding effortlessly across the surface, she turned to Shisui with a question that had lingered in her mind. "What if you had to choose between me and the village? Which one would you choose?" she asked.
Shisui looked taken aback. "Ayumi, you can't possibly expect me to choose. You know me better than that," he replied, his tone tinged with a hint of frustration. "Why don't you want to return to Konoha?"
"Can you answer my question first? Then I promise I'll answer yours." She continued her painting, the strokes becoming more expressive, almost like channeling her feelings into the artwork.
Shisui sighed, "Don't ask me those things..."
"Then give me an answer, or I will never share my own," she retorted.
"But you and the village are inseparable; you belong there. We should go back together," he insisted, yearning for a resolution that felt increasingly out of reach.
Ayumi's gaze was serious as she pressed on, "I asked a different question. Can you answer that?"
He paused the question echoing in his mind, reflecting the internal struggle that had haunted him for a long time. If forced to choose, who would he choose and why? After what felt like an eternity of reflection, he found his answer, a confession that was both liberating and heart-wrenching. "I love you. I truly do. I love you with every fiber of my being, with all my heart and soul. There is nothing I love more than you, but, the village needs me. It needs us, Ayumi. So, regardless of your answer, I will still go back. I have to protect Konoha. Your great-grandfather built it, for God's sake—how can you turn your back on that?"
Ayumi looked at him, the seriousness in his demeanor hitting her with unexpected force. Was he genuinely asking her that? After everything she had endured for him—all her dedication, love, and countless struggles—she felt the sting of his words. As the great-granddaughter of Tobirama Senju, she was acutely aware of the weight of her lineage. Did he think her life had been easy? Did he believe she was overly privileged?
The thought of abandoning him was unfathomable. She would follow him anywhere, whether to Konoha or even into the depths of hell itself. But in that moment, a deep yearning welled up within her. Would it hurt so much if just once, he could love her back? If only he could choose her, even for a moment. As these thoughts swirled in her mind, she felt a torrent of emotions rise within her, the urge to cry and scream all at once. Why couldn't this man love her like she loved him? Why was it so hard for him to recognize her love, to acknowledge that she was fighting for him just as fiercely as he fought for the village?
"Get out!" she yelled, her voice cutting through the air like a knife, the vibrant colors on her canvas splattering in her agitation. "Ayumi, calm down and just listen for one second!" he pleaded, hoping to reach her amid the storm of emotions.
"Get out! Take your things and leave!" she screamed, her eyes blazing with frustration and hurt.
"Ayumi!" he called out desperately, wanting to hold her and help her see reason.
"I don't want to hear you even breathing! Go take your things and leave my house this instant!" Ayumi slowly slid the ring from her finger and tossed it onto the hardwood floor. The metallic clink echoed in the silent room. "Take it back," she declared, her voice laced with bitterness. "I don't want it anymore. You're not my husband anymore. I don't love you anymore, and I don't want to see your face again."
Shisui, standing frozen in disbelief, took a step forward, desperation creeping into his tone. "Ayumi, can you just try to be reasonable for one moment? Please, listen to me. I know what you think, but it isn't like that." His heart raced as he searched her eyes for a hint of understanding.
With a flick of her wrist, Ayumi opened the door, her message clear. She wanted him out, wanted to end the conversation. The finality of her gesture hit him hard; he could see in her gaze that she was resolute, unwilling to hear him out.
Defeated, Shisui bent down, retrieving the ring from the floor slowly.. "I'll wait for you to calm down, okay?" he said softly, clenching the ring tightly in his palm. His heart ached with the hope that she would reconsider, but he knew there was no reason with her when she was like this.