Son Goku's Disciple Naruto

A new high pitched way of speaking had swept through the Ninja Academy, wrapping the whole campus in a bizarre atmosphere. It seemed like every kid was trying to imitate the same peculiar pitch. Even the instructors would get sidetracked by it in the middle of a lesson.

"Sasuke-kun~"

"Sasuke-kun~ Look at me~"

"Sasuke-kun~ Good morning~"

"Sasuke-kun~ Notice me!"

And the one suffering the most was, of course, Sasuke. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started, but now, every time the girls in his class saw him, they'd greet him in that strange, sing-song voice.

'Come to think of it,' he mused, 'it probably started after that blonde girl startled me and I answered back on reflex.' Ever since then, it had spun completely out of control.

Honestly, that cloyingly sweet, high-pitched tone made his skin crawl. It would be one thing if it was at least pleasant to listen to, but then some of the boys started doing it. Little boys, their voices cracking with being on cusp of puberty, trying to sound sickeningly sweet. He couldn't curse them out. He couldn't hit them. If he wasn't so concerned with upholding the Uchiha clan's image, he would have decked every single one of them.

'If it were Naruto,' Sasuke thought grimly, 'he'd just punch them. That would probably shut them up for good. Watching them cry their eyes out would feel pretty damn good right about now.'

"I bought a small pinwheel, *whoosh whoosh whoosh*."

The whisper tickled Sasuke's ear, and a gust of warm air by his ear made him shiver. A tingly sensation shot from his toes straight to the top of his head. Then a familiar blond head came into view.

"Naruto," Sasuke growled, his face flushing with irritation. "Are you trying to get your ass kicked?" Luckily, they were alone. Otherwise, his reputation would be in tatters.

"Bring it on," Naruto said, his eyes lighting up as he eagerly rolled up his sleeves. "Let's see who's really asking for a beating here."

Sasuke scowled, while Naruto was just looking for an excuse to fight.

At the sight of Naruto's defined muscles, visible even when relaxed, Sasuke's eyes flashed red, a single black tomoe spinning in each socket.

Then, he said flatly, "No."

Naruto just looked at him with disdain. "Tch."

It was only around a select few people, people in Konoha you could count on one hand, like Sasuke, that Naruto let this more childish side of himself show.

"Bastard," Naruto said suddenly. He had taken it upon himself to guide Sasuke's training, constantly pushing him to get stronger. "Training is like sailing against the current. If you don't move forward, you fall behind."

From time to time, he'd use 'checking his progress' as an excuse to beat him up a little.

"Don't call me that," Sasuke said, wiping sweat from his brow with a frown.

Naruto ignored him. "Bastard, Neji and Rock Lee are graduating today." He leaned in, lowering his voice. "Do you want to graduate early?"

'Graduate early?'

If Naruto had asked him that right after the massacre, Sasuke would have said yes without a second thought. Back then, all he could think about was revenge. He dreamed of killing Itachi. Naruto had woken him more than once to the sound of him crying out for his parents in his sleep.

Naruto had even asked Fugaku if they should just tell Sasuke the truth and bring him home.

Fugaku's reply had been solemn. "One can only become great after enduring hardship. Setbacks and trials are the whetstones that temper the will and forge ability. As a son of the Uchiha, he must endure more than most."

Even with those words, Naruto felt like Fugaku and Mikoto's attention was entirely on Karin now. There was an old, unreliable rumor that for their second child, they had desperately wanted a daughter. They were so convinced it would be a girl that they'd nearly arranged a marriage alliance with the Minato and Kushina, for 'Satsuko'.

Instead, they got... him, Sasuke.

'A son? What son? A son isn't nearly as sweet as a daughter,' seemed to be their new mantra.

"Graduate early..." Sasuke murmured, the words jolting him. He shook his head. "There's no need."

Naruto hopped down from his perch on the tree branch, leaning against the trunk in a comfortable slump. "You've made your peace with it?"

"Hn."

Sasuke still wanted to become stronger, strong enough to kill Itachi. That conviction was his driving force. But he now understood that graduating early had nothing to do with it. The old Sasuke believed that if he became a Chunin in a year and a Jonin the year after, he would surpass his brother's record and therefore become stronger. "Jonin" was once his ultimate goal, a title to measure himself against the man who graduated at seven, made Chunin at ten, and became an ANBU captain at thirteen.

Following the standard path was one way to get stronger, yes. But that was for a normal ninja.

What was he training in now? The Turtle School.

Even though he couldn't train in Ki, his growth was staggering. He could feel his power swelling, a tangible increase every few days. It was better to stay here and train properly than to graduate and get bogged down with D-rank missions. Graduating would just mean trading his solo training for sessions with a Jonin instructor. And while Sasuke didn't know the true depths of Naruto's power, he was certain he was far stronger than any Jonin.

At the very least, Itachi was nowhere near as fast as Naruto.

"Come on, let's go find Lee and Neji," Naruto said, walking over and hauling the exhausted Sasuke to his feet. "By my count, they should be taking their team placement exam soon."

"Do they still need an exam for graduation team placement?"

"Of course," Naruto scoffed. "You didn't think it was just the three basic jutsu and you're done, did you? Wait, seriously? Don't tell me you actually thought that. Because that would be super dumb. Ofcourse smart Sasuke wouldn't think like that right?"

Sasuke just glared. 'Naruto, you bastard...'

"With their skills, Lee and Neji will pass without a problem," Naruto said, patting Sasuke on the shoulder. "Let's go. Ichiraku Ramen, your treat."

--**--**

Meanwhile, at Konoha Training Ground 44.

Neji and Rock Lee were in a fierce, close-quarters battle against Guy, the three of them a blur of motion. Their new teammate, a girl with her hair in two buns named Tenten, could only watch in astonishment as they fought their Jonin instructor to a standstill. She couldn't even see an opening to intervene, their movements were too fast for her eyes to follow.

'Are my teammates really this strong?' she wondered. 'Does this mean I can just slack off from now on?'

Her foot nudged something on the ground. 'Huh? What's this?'

Tenten bent down and picked up a string of small bells. They looked familiar. She stared at them for a long moment before it hit her. 'Wait a minute... didn't Guy-sensei say all we had to do was get the bells?'

Clearly, the three men locked in their exhilarating brawl had completely forgotten their objective.

"This is Youth!?" Guy roared.

--**--**

Narrator:

Why does the entire Academy sound like it inhaled helium and discovered thirst at the same time?

Did Sasuke just get fan-girl'd into a voice-induced nervous breakdown? And why does this trauma seem greater than night of the massacre?

If Sasuke hears "Sasuke-kun~" one more time, is it considered a justifiable homicide?

Was Fugaku raising a ninja prodigy or emotionally grooming a backup disappointment?

How did the bell test become Dragon Ball: Guy Edition, and how is Tenten winning by sheer plot awareness?

Find out more next time on: 

"Sasuke-kun~ and the Cult of Vocal Terror"

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