Roses are red, violet are blue

Chapter 13: Roses for Regret

The scent of fresh roses hung heavy in the air of The Petal Whisperer, their fragrance sweet yet bittersweet. Lila stood behind the counter, her fingers deftly arranging long-stemmed red roses into a vase. The deep crimson of the petals seemed to pulse with life, each bloom a symbol of love, passion, and devotion.

She focused on her task, letting the rhythmic motions of her work occupy her mind. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn't block out the voice of the customer who had just left.

"Valentine's Day," the woman had said, her eyes sparkling. "It's our tenth anniversary. I want the most beautiful red roses you have. He deserves it."

Lila had smiled and nodded, offering suggestions and assurances, her professional mask firmly in place. But inside, her chest had tightened with an ache she couldn't ignore.

As she tied a velvet ribbon around the base of the bouquet, her mind drifted back to a memory she had tried so hard to suppress.

---

The apartment was dark when she stepped inside, the only light coming from a trail of flickering candles that led her to the living room. Lila's heart quickened as she followed the soft glow, her breath catching when she reached the doorway.

The room was filled with roses.

They were everywhere—vases overflowing with crimson blooms on every surface, petals scattered across the floor like a crimson carpet. The air was thick with their fragrance, a heady mix of sweetness and spice.

In the center of it all stood James, holding a single rose in his hand. He was smiling, his eyes shining with a mixture of pride and affection.

"What is this?" Lila asked, her voice trembling with surprise and emotion.

"It's Valentine's Day," James said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And you deserve all the love in the world."

She laughed, a sound that was half disbelief, half sheer joy. "James, this is… it's too much!"

"No such thing," he said, stepping closer to hand her the rose. "For you, there's no such thing as too much."

She took the rose, her fingers brushing against his, and for a moment, the world seemed to narrow to just the two of them. The warmth of his gaze, the softness of his voice, the overwhelming scent of roses—it was a memory so vivid, so perfect, that it felt more like a dream.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

James grinned, pulling her into his arms. "I love you more."

---

The memory hit her like a wave, pulling her back into the present with a force that left her breathless. She stared down at the roses in her hands, her vision blurred by unshed tears. The vividness of the memory was both a gift and a curse, a reminder of a love so pure it seemed impossible to replicate.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? She didn't want to replicate it. She wanted him. She wanted James and his over-the-top romantic gestures, his infectious laughter, his unwavering belief that she deserved the world.

She placed the bouquet on the counter, her hands trembling slightly. It had been years since James's death, yet moments like this made it feel as though he had been taken from her only yesterday. The pain was still there, raw and unrelenting, no matter how much time passed.

Guilt settled over her like a heavy blanket, pressing down on her chest. She had tried to move on, tried to find solace in her work and the small joys of everyday life. But every time she thought she was making progress, a memory like this would surface, reminding her of what she had lost.

She felt stuck, trapped in a cycle of grief and regret. It wasn't just the pain of losing James that haunted her—it was the guilt of not being able to let him go. She had loved him with everything she had, and now that love felt like an anchor, holding her in place while the rest of the world moved forward.

Lila wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She didn't have the luxury of falling apart, not here, not now. There were orders to fill, customers to serve. Life didn't pause for grief, no matter how much she wished it would.

She turned her attention back to the roses, adjusting the ribbon and trimming the stems with precision. The act of working with her hands, of creating something beautiful, offered a small measure of comfort.

But even as she worked, the memory lingered, its edges soft but persistent. She thought about the woman who had ordered the bouquet, the excitement in her voice, the love in her eyes.

Lila wanted to be happy for her. She really did. But all she could feel was a hollow ache, a reminder of the life she had once imagined for herself and James.

Would she ever feel that kind of love again? The question gnawed at her, filling her with a mixture of hope and fear. She didn't know if she could open her heart to someone else, didn't know if she even wanted to. James had been her everything, and the thought of loving someone else felt like a betrayal.

But at the same time, she knew James wouldn't have wanted her to live like this. He had always been the optimistic one, the dreamer who believed in endless possibilities. He would have wanted her to find happiness, even if it meant letting go of the past.

Lila sighed, placing the finished bouquet in the refrigerator to keep it fresh. She stepped back, her eyes lingering on the roses.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

The words were meant for James, a silent offering to the man who had filled her life with so much love. She didn't know if he could hear her, didn't know if it even mattered. But saying the words out loud felt like a small step forward, a way of acknowledging the love that still lived within her, even if he was gone.

As the shop bell chimed, signaling the arrival of another customer, Lila straightened her shoulders and wiped her hands on her apron. She took a deep breath, forcing a smile as she greeted the woman who walked in.

Life moved on, whether she was ready for it or not. And though the ache in her chest remained, so did the memory of James and the love they had shared.

Perhaps that was enough for now.