Chapter 364: The origin (3)
"Since it's all about levels of consciousness, wouldn't it be nice if you could share all the levels there are?"
This conversation took the wildest turns, greatly straying from what I expected it to entail. And yet, to claim that it wasn't productive would be an outright lie.
Still, what kind of levels of consciousness did Irene talk about? After all, how I was to climb to the higher levels if I didn't even know what they were?
"The first level of consciousness is all about your own desires. That's what directs you. The second level is all about figuring out that everyone else also has their own desires. The third level is about thinking about what others are thinking. Rather than just being aware that others have thoughts, you try to figure out what kinds of thoughts they have."
Irene reached out for her cup and took a long, lazy sip before stuffing her mouth with the last piece of her cake.
"The fourth level…" Irene hesitated for a second. "The fourth level is what I believe you are in right now. And it's all about being able to look at everything from someone else's perspective."
"Wait a second," I interjected, "how is it any different than the level prior?" I asked while squinting my eyes. "If the third level is all about being aware that others have their own thoughts and desires and thinking about those, how is putting myself in someone else's shoes any different?"
Hearing the question, Irene smiled.
"First of all, I do not belong to your tribe. As such, my explanation might be invalid, imperfect, a result of me eyeballing the entire issue," she admitted with a smile before slightly shaking her head.
Then, rather than elaborating further, Irene grabbed a tissue from the small stand at the very center of the table and cleaned her mouth with it.
"And second of all, in the third level, you still look at the thoughts of others through the perspective of your own circumstances. If something is good for you, then it shall be good for others. And if you dislike something, others are to dislike it too," she explained before stretching herself all the way back against her chair's backrest and giving me a wide smile.
Yet, rather than getting to the crux of the current topic, to explaining the fourth level… Irene simply remained silent, staring at me with those dark and red eyes of hers.
"So the fourth level is… all about understanding that other people have their own circumstances, situationships that might not be alike my own?"
"Pretty much yeah," Irene's smile grew even wider as she nodded her head.
"But then, what's the fifth level?"
This time, just like many times before, my question was met with nothing but silence and Irene's inquisitive look.
"You are not yet ready to learn it. In fact, it would be vile of me to reveal it, for you need to discover all the levels above fourth on your own."
'Eh?'
Up until this point, Irene didn't seem to hold any sort of information back. And while sure, it was all a simplification major enough her words might no longer have anything to do with an actual truth… This was the very first time when she directly refused to elaborate on something!
"Why?" I asked, struggling to figure out Irene's potential reasons for withholding this information from me. "Didn't you say you would answer my questions as a form of reparation for the harm your actions brought upon my life?"
Irene's smile diminished. She then rolled her eyes and laid her right hand flat on the table while turning herself sideways on the chair.
"Tell me, did you know that in the early years of primary school, teachers often tell the kids that negative numbers do not exist?"
Once again, I squinted my eyes as I tried my very best to analyze not only Irene's direct words but also all the potential meanings hidden behind them.
"It's not something I can directly remember, but I'm willing to take your word for it."
Sure, I went through all the years of mandatory education… But asking a grown-up man like me for some tiny details of what happened in those classes, roughly ten years ago?
And being just the average student that I was, it was a detail I was pretty much likely to ignore back in the day anyway, making it all the harder to actually recall it.
"Those teachers are lying to the kids… Or rather, they are withholding the information about the existence of negative numbers because, at that level of education, those kids are not yet ready to learn about it. And introducing negative numbers would only make it harder for said kids to understand the topic they are to learn at that precise moment."
I took a deep breath and wallowed in the silence that followed Irene's explanation.
'Sure thing, that does make sense… But how does it connect to my own situation?'
And a moment later, I spoke out, ready to submit my own findings to the scrutiny of Irene's opinion.
"Do you mean to say that giving me any hints about the fifth and higher levels of consciousness would be… counterproductive?"
Irene sighed heavily before swinging her bottom on the chair to sit up straight again before she cupped her hands and laid them flat on the table that she then leaned over.
"Listen, kid. The lower the level we talk about, the easier it is to explain. As such, the lesser the chance that my own interpretation of things will lead you astray, away from the actual path of growth for your tribe. Even talking about the fourth level brings me a bit too close to comfort to the line where my words no longer have any meaning."
"So it's not that you don't want to talk about it, but you yourself know that your words would no longer strike anywhere near the truth of the matter?" I asked, just to be sure I understood Irene's intentions for the moment.
And this question ended with nothing more but Irene's heaving yet another sigh.
"I'm giving you the answers I can to apologize for the troubles you went through because of my actions," Irene reminded me of the very reason why she even talked to me in the first place. "And the moment I were to start talking about the fifth level of consciousness…"
Before finishing her words, Irene put her empty cup on top of her empty plate and stood up from her seat.
"I would once again start doing you harm. That's why, the fifth level of consciousness and higher…" Irene shook her head before putting a small smile on her lips. "You will have to discover it all on your own. And with that said, I've exhausted the limit of what I can say and what hints I can drop for you. Meaning, from now on, we are even."
Without a single further word, Irene brought up a note and dropped it on the table before turning around and leaving the cafe, leaving me all alone with my thoughts.
"This really didn't go the way I thought it would," I muttered to myself before waving at the waiter to signal I was now ready to pay and leave myself.
'But with that said…' I gulped my saliva down as I closed my eyes and silenced myself, all for the sake of firmly stuffing all that I'd learned into my memory.
'What is this fifth level of consciousness all about?'