SWNOVELXO Chapter 50 - WuYue's confusion
“?!”
Faced with YouYu’s sudden questioning, WuYue’s thoughts were thrown into chaos. For a long moment, she couldn’t utter a single word.
Her hand clutching the red gemstone around her neck unconsciously lowered.
Once she regained her composure, seeing YouYu’s “disappointed” expression, she hastily explained:
“No! That’s not what I meant at all! I never—I never once thought about hurting you, YouYu! It’s just that…”
“Just what? A misunderstanding? You had already decided to transform to lock me away, right?”
Looking at the anxious WuYue, YouYu frowned and said,
“Do you really think everything you just said and did was all a joke, WuYue?”
“…No! It wasn’t like that! I just… I really don’t know why I acted that way…”
“My wish… my wish has always been clear from the start. I only wanted to protect you, YouYu! I never thought of hurting you, I swear!”
“Really!”
“Really…”
“…”
“WuYue, that’s enough.”
Shaking his head, YouYu remained silent for a long time, watching as WuYue began apologizing frantically.
With a sigh, he prepared to end this “crisis” with his final words.
So, he said:
“WuYue, I understand how you feel. I also know why you said what you did earlier, so I want to apologize to you. I said those things without thinking them through.”
“Just like you said, we’re both idiots. Idiots who will do anything to help others.”
“But… even with good intentions, sometimes we still end up doing something wrong, like just now.”
“So now, please stop apologizing. Calm down, and listen to me slowly. Alright?”
“……”
“Okay.”
After taking a deep breath and seeing that WuYue’s emotions had gradually stabilized, YouYu continued:
“Just now, when I said something like, ‘Maybe I’ll die one day,’ it must have sounded like a threat to you, right?”
“I originally refused your suggestion because I wanted to make you happy… but clearly, my response to this situation was wrong.”
“I selfishly said those words, thinking I knew what was best, but I didn’t consider how much anxiety they would cause you. I didn’t even take into account the basic idea of ‘making you happy.'”
“I ignored your feelings and imposed my own thoughts on you, which ended up… turning you like this.”
“…So, this was my mistake. I sincerely apologize to you. I’m sorry, WuYue!”
After saying this, YouYu quickly lowered his head before her, then lifted it again to speak his final words:
“Lastly… I apologize once more. I got too emotional earlier and said some… rather unkind things to you.”
“……”
“Anyway, WuYue, if you want to punish me for this… I can understand. Moving forward, I’ll try my best to listen to your opinions.”
“So, let’s promise to get along without hurting each other and protect each other. Alright?”
“……”
“Okay.”
Seeing WuYue finally calm down and agree to his words, YouYu sighed in relief. After thinking for a moment, he said:
“Then… I’ll go prepare something for you to eat. After all, something unpleasant just happened… and both your body and mind must be tired.”
“Why don’t you sit and rest for a bit? Once the food is ready, I’ll return and keep you company.”
“Okay?”
“……”
“Okay.”
Hearing WuYue agree, YouYu nodded and then turned, walking toward the kitchen.
As he reached the kitchen, he glanced back at WuYue.
She… remained calm, not making any further moves, just staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought.
“……”
Turning back, YouYu sighed and focused on what was before him.
“For now… it seems I’ve managed to calm WuYue down. Luckily, I didn’t miscalculate. If I hadn’t taken that firm stance earlier… things might not have turned out this way.”
But…
Did he really handle the situation with WuYue properly?
“……”
YouYu was well aware that, though WuYue appeared calm on the surface, beneath that exterior… her emotions and thoughts were still in turmoil.
And most of those emotions… were negative.
It wasn’t that negative emotions were necessarily bad, but, like he’d thought before, if he pushed too hard, it might backfire.
He needed to find a way to turn her current state around.
“Sigh…”
At that thought, YouYu couldn’t help but sigh.
“This is just one of those things that comes with being the ‘eternal-regret-type villain,’ something I can’t avoid dealing with…”
————
The depth of the night.
After an exhausting day—exhausting in every sense—WuYue finally returned to her room and lay down on her bed.
But she didn’t turn off the light to sleep. Instead, she stared quietly at the ceiling, lost in her thoughts… thinking… thinking…
“……”
And then…
“What… have I done?”
Unconsciously, a tear slid down from her blue eyes.
“What have I done…”
“……”
WuYue didn’t understand why she acted the way she did at that moment. Why did a sudden, overwhelming desire push her to do something like that?
At first, she wanted to get closer to YouYu, simply and naturally. But she hadn’t expected things to unfold the way they did.
“I didn’t… want it to turn out like this…”
As she muttered to herself, her voice cracked, tinged with tears.
Today was supposed to be special—a day she had worked so hard for over the past few days, a rare day to spend alone with YouYu.
But in the end, it had turned into such a mess.
Why…?
Why did this happen?
……
Ah, that must be it.
With just a brief thought, WuYue realized the answer.
It was because she wanted to “protect” YouYu. She wanted to be with him, to always watch over him, to share in his joys, sorrows, and everything in between.
But… after seeing YouYu talking to Bai Yu, she couldn’t suppress the dirty feeling of “jealousy” that surged inside her.
She even wanted to use this so-called opportunity—a day she had imagined would be romantic—to forge a closer bond with YouYu and distance him from others.
“……”
Everything, everything, was because of her selfishness.
She just couldn’t bear to see YouYu getting along with anyone else.
She wanted to see him only by her side.
She was even willing to use “protection” as an excuse just to keep him close.
But that wasn’t her real goal at all.
She hadn’t even thought that far ahead or considered what would come after they became closer…
And yet, after her “threat,” YouYu still forgave her. He even went so far as to apologize, saying it was his mistake.
……
No.
“You didn’t do anything wrong… YouYu.”
The only one at fault was her—this stupid person.
She couldn’t even protect the one beside her and almost ended up hurting him.
This grand notion of “protection,” which sounded so noble, was probably just an excuse to justify her own strange desires.
Perhaps… she wasn’t that noble after all.
“Can someone like me really be a good magical girl?”
“Can someone like me… really protect you?”
Shouldn’t she, perhaps, be better off giving up such thoughts?
“……”
In her confusion, WuYue didn’t notice.
The red gemstone around her neck was slowly dimming.