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Month 3 - Chapter 7: The Power of Seven (Warships)

Weeks of travel via Hyperspace has gotten old quick, and I'm not looking forward to being within the same system as a gargantuan Rakatan-designed space station that can crank out whatever the hell the controller wants. It's a corruptive influence by applications alone, much less the fact that it's partially powered by the Rakatan flavor of the Dark Side. Y'know, the same horrible cannibalistic slaver empire that turned Tatooine from a green paradise into a planet-sized fucking desert? Their excesses made the Sith reject them on principle! Still, too late to back off now. Thankfully, I wasn't a complete idiot and brought Shmi Skywalker with me, that would have had very unpleasant ramifications. 

"Declaration: We are approaching the Lehon System. Thankfully, my previous master disabled the Disruptor field when we last visited."

"Do you still have system access to the Forge?"

"Answer: Of course, Master, I still retain it."

"Good. You'll be heading aboard, alone, to instruct the Star Forge to manufacture this list of ships. Last I checked, you're essentially immune to its influence and I don't want to turn into a rehash of the Original Meatbag."

"Mockery: Excellent, you have been very useful to me, I shall be sure to obliterate you quickly when I have begun my conquest."

"I'd be concerned if it weren't for the fact that I know that's not your style. It'd reek too much of the HK-50s' methods."

"Retraction: You're correct! Emulating those pathetic knockoffs would certainly not do."

We exited hyperspace before I could follow up on the banter. It's one thing to see the Star Forge in cutscenes, it's quite another to see it in person. Already, I could almost feel the compulsion to start building an army. "Fucking hell. HK, could you please knock me unconscious so I don't do something stupid?"

"Declaration: Of course, Master, I would love nothing more!"

And of course, my poorly-worded joke had got me a durasteel fist to the back of my head. Ow.

- - - - Six hours later - - - -

I woke up in what appeared to be one of the spare rooms in the Hazard, and I had the worst headache I've had in a very, very long time. Fuck it, ice pack time. I go track down the commissary and grab a cold bottle of water, and keep it pressed to my head as I go look for the- HK! Damn him, I almost forgot he clubbed me. Still, I quite literally asked for it. I head over to the pilot's cabin to have a look through the front canopy, and.. Wow, that's an impressively menacing hangar bay. KOTOR did not do it justice. Is that HK holding a Ma Deuce? I forgot he had expressed interest in that. Seems he's modified it into a rifle. I lose sight of him as he approaches the ship, and I hear the hatch open. 

"Recitation: Master, I return with excellent news!" He deposits his new toy in the armory, before making his way to the pilot's cabin. "Declaration: Your fleet is constructed, manned by T3 Astromech droids, HK-51s, and Sentinel Droids. Query: Shall we go make our inspection?"

"Of course, HK." He takes over the pilot seat, and I sit next to him, nursing my headache.

My fleet, of course, is in full view as we pull out of the hangar. Twelve Hammerhead cruisers, and the pair of heavily modified Inexpugnable-classes, one of which will serve as my flagship, all painted in blue, gray, and red. We land in one of its four hangars, and begin making our way to the bridge. 

An honor guard of Sentinel Droids begin marching behind us in lockstep, and after a very, very long walk, we make it to the bridge, which I see was modified to be much more practical than the original model, which had a glass fucking floor for the lower section. 

This redesigned bridge is more like an Imperial Star Destroyer, with a recessed holotable towards the rear and a pair of lowered platforms for technicians, which will protect them if the windows blow out. 

I review the specifications as brought up on said holotable; automated refinery and manufacturing facility, for improved fleet-tending capabilities, and a bunch of mining probe droids occupy one of the hangars. The design was also modified to remove the ridiculously huge central gap in the ship, and fill that space with additional generators, and add a few extra batteries of laser cannons and turbolasers to its upper and lower surfaces. I could go toe-to-to with two current-generation Lucrehulks in this thing, and I've got six cruisers to back me up. In addition, the hyperdrives were also beefed up throughout the fleet, bringing them up from a Class 2 hyperdrive to Class 1, and a backup Class 5 on the lot.

"I dub this vessel, the United Earth Space Council's finest ship, The Laxative Delivery! May our enemies shit themselves in fear of this fully-armed and operational warship!"

HK-47 golf claps. "Commentary: Master, your complete defiance of galactic standards continues to confuse me."

"Good. As the United States Army once said, 'If I don't know what I'm doing, how will my enemies know?' I love that quote. Please designate the Delivery and six escorts as our primary fleet, and the remaining ships will keep station over Hoth to avoid attention. I authorize a detainment period of two months if some poor bastard of a smuggler stumbles across them."

"Query: What next?"

"We'll go help a couple Jedi in the outer Rim, and then stop some bugs from farming people. Please plot a course to the Mandalore system."

- - - - 4 weeks later - - - -

So… it's actually pretty hard to hide a fleet, even one as small as the one I'm aboard the flagship of. Comms chatter has a lot of questions going back and forth, but a lot of people seem to think my fleet is a bunch of Trade Federation ships or maybe some kind of Republic patrol fleet. I saw a couple of nondescript ships try to tail me for a while, but veered off before they could come within tractor beam range.

As we arrived in the Mandalore system, we were immediately hailed by the local system's patrol fleet, a trio of exceptionally outgunned frigates of a make I couldn't identify. I put it to the holotable. "This is the Mandalore Sector's patrol ship Pursuer. State your intentions or be fired upon." The poor bastard's clearly shitting bricks right now, but he's a Mandalorian; he'll do his duty. 

I respond. "Greetings, Pursuer, this is the UESC Laxative Delivery. Sorry to give you a scare, but I needed to talk to my old pal Jaster Mereel. Is he busy right now?"

The officer turns to look out of the range of the hologram for a few seconds. "The Mandalor will call you in a few moments."

"Excellent. I look forward to seeing him again, and I'm sure he'll love what I've brought him."

The Pursuer ends the call, and shortly after, Jaster pops up on the holotable. "Hatton, what in the hell are you doing with a fleet of Ruusan non-compliant vessels in my system?"

"Giving you two of them, and my homeworld was a nonsignatory of that farce, anyhow."

His expression from that moment will be an image I will hold dearly for the rest of my life. "Giving- Hatton, why?"

"You did alright by me, so I'm doing alright by you. Say, did I hear you are officially recognized as Mandalore, now?"

"How is that relevant to you giving me two warships?"

"You're a new state, you're not a member of the Republic, and you're a nonsignatory to the Ruusan Reformations. You can own them and the Republic, short of an invasion of your sovereignty, can't do shit about it. Also, the irony of a Republic-designed warship being owned by Mandalore is too sweet to pass up. I'm leaving two of the hammerheads here to do with as you please, I have other fires to put out and I'm sure you're busy running half a planet, assuming the pacifists haven't run off to be someone else's headache."

Jaster's flabbergasted expression slowly morphs into a smile. "When you're done giving other people headaches, I want to treat you with a visit to the Oyu'baat."

"See you then, you magnificent bastard."

The Somebody Else's Problem and the Serial Peacemaker stay behind as we jump for Ossus. 

I send a message to the Coruscant Jedi Temple as we reach the hyperlane. Yoda, of all people, calls back.

"Our wayward masters, ready to find, you are?

"I'm fully prepared, Master Yoda. I'm sending you the coordinates for where we'll be meeting."

Yoda nods, then disconnects. I'm pretty sure this is the most lively I've seen him, short of that fight scene in Episode 2.