SWNOVELXO CHAPTER 126 - Frustration.
As Alex stepped out of Vanessa's chamber, the conversation lingered, heavy on his shoulders. The hallway stretched ahead of him, dimly lit by soft, golden orbs of light hovering near the ceiling, casting a warm yet somber glow over the polished marble floors. The faint hum of the ongoing celebration in the ballroom drifted through the corridors, a distant reminder of the grandeur he was walking toward.
He paused, leaning against the wall for a moment, closing his eyes. The events of the day churned in his mind like a storm. The chat he'd had with the higher nobility replayed in his head—the expectations and doubts in their eyes vivid as though they still stood before him. He'd anticipated such reactions, but it was still taxing to entertain them all, especially while maintaining a composed and strategic image.
Alex also recalled the looks Lilia, Mira, and Fenna had exchanged when he revealed his relationship with Zahara to the council members. He wasn't dense enough to miss their subtle reactions. However, this wasn't the right moment to address them. Two of them required more time, while the third had to make the first move herself.
Then there was the cryptic message from the church that Vestian had shown him. It had come far earlier than he had expected. He was prepared, yes, but its timing had thrown him off.
And as if the day wasn't full enough, Anos had arrived unexpectedly, dragging him into yet another convoluted mess. Now, Vanessa's ultimatum and the mysterious message about someone waiting for him felt like the universe was piling everything on him at once.
Alex wasn't weak by any means, but he was still human. The world around him seemed to grow larger with each passing day, yet he remained small in comparison. His fists—capable of holding only so much—clenched tightly at his sides. For a fleeting moment, a thought escaped his lips without his permission.
"Was there no easier world to choose, Sophie?"
His eyes widened in realization as the words slipped out. The question, though unintentional, carried the weight of his frustration and weariness. A sigh escaped him when he felt a wave of guilt and sadness flood his connection with Sophie.
'I'm sorry, Love. I didn't mean to say it...'
Before he could finish, Sophie's voice cut through his thoughts, soft and trembling.
[You shouldn't be apologizing, Alex.]
Her words hit him harder than he expected, and he fell silent as she continued.
[I've often wondered if the second option the goddess gave me was truly for your good or mine. And now... now I know it was for mine.]
Alex wanted to interrupt, but he sensed Sophie's need to speak. He stayed quiet, his heart heavy.
[As I see you working tirelessly every day, protecting those you love, I realize that if I'd chosen the first option, I might have given up long ago.]
Her voice cracked with emotion. Alex's fists tightened until his nails dug into his palms, but he ignored the pain. Sophie's anguish was more agonizing than any physical wound.
'Sophie, stop. You know that I don't feel that way—'
She cut him off again, her words pouring out in a torrent.
[I know you don't feel that way, Alex, but I do. I feel useless. All I've done is bring trouble to you. What have I truly done for you? Explaining things anyone else could have?]
Alex's heart clenched at the sound of her sobs. He'd rarely heard her cry, and now it tore through him like a blade.
'Stop it, Sophie. You've done so much—'
[No, Alex!] Her voice rose, desperate and broken. [I've been nothing but a burden. I'm the reason you died in the first place. If I had just done my job better, if I'd found the real traitor sooner…]
Sophie's sobs continued to ring in his head, reminding him of her agony every second, but again, before he could speak, he heard her whisper.
[All I did for you—or more like myself—was satisfy my lust.] Sophie, in a low voice, continued between her sniffles, [You always work hard and come to me to rest, yet I entangled you with my useless feelings—]
Alex's eyes widened when he heard her last words. His entire being trembled as he finally couldn't hold back anymore. His voice exploded, 'SOPHIE! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!'
He had been taking it all for a while, thinking that she would stop, but no. She kept going on.
It was still fine. He could understand if she was frustrated, but did she just call the action of love—the time they spent together—useless? Did she even hear what she was saying?
'I dare you to try to interrupt me again,' he growled inwardly, closing his eyes. He took some deep breaths, controlling his emotions.
His sudden outburst stunned Sophie into silence. She stared in shock as he closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to steady himself. His trembling body and blazing eyes reflected the fury and anguish rising within him. This was the first time Alex had raised his voice at her.
'You want to know what you've done for me? Fine. Let me remind you.'
He leaned against the wall, his tone sharp but controlled.
'First, you came into my life and made me feel human when I thought I was nothing more than a monster. You gave me purpose when I was lost in the darkness of my own ruthlessness.'
Sophie's emotions shifted to shock and nostalgia as his words sank in.
'Then, when I died—not because of you, but because of my own failure to see the truth—you gave me another chance at life. You brought me to this world where I've had to fight and grow every day. And through it all, you've been my anchor, my constant.'
Her sobs returned, but this time they carried relief rather than despair.
'You called our love useless?' His voice grew sharper, his anger breaking through. 'Do you think our time together was meaningless? Do you think you've done nothing for me?'
Sophie's voice trembled. [No, Alex. I didn't mean it like that...]
'Then don't ever say it again.' His words were firm, final.
The silence between them stretched, heavy and electric. Sophie's thoughts reeled as Alex's words repeated in her mind. Slowly, she began to see herself through his eyes.
[I... I'm sorry, Alex.]
Those words, however, weren't enough, so Alex questioned, 'What are you sorry for?'
[For thinking of myself as useless.]
Sophie replied, and Alex finally nodded, his anger subsiding. But just as he was about to speak, a sharp, unbearable pain shot through his chest.
"Arghhh!" He fell to his knees, clutching at his chest. His heart felt like it was being torn apart. In the dream realm, Sophie mirrored his agony, her face contorted in pain.
"Urgh!" She writhed on the bed, gasping for air. But just as quickly as the pain came, it vanished.
"What the hell was that?" Alex panted, struggling to stabilize himself.
[I… I don't know,] Sophie replied, her voice weak and shaken. But then she paused as a sudden surge of information filled her mind. Disbelief flooded their connection, which only Alex could feel.
'What is it, Sophie?' Alex asked, his frown deepening. 'What happened?'
Her voice quivered, filled with equal parts shock and awe. [Alex... you won't believe this...]
But before she could finish, a blinding light filled the hallway. Alex shielded his eyes, cursing under his breath as his vision blurred. The light was too intense for his eyes.
When the light faded, he felt a presence in front of him—familiar and comforting. Two warm hands cupped his cheeks, and then he heard her voice, not in his head but in his ears.
[I... I can materialize in the real world now.]
Alex froze. His mind raced as the realization sank in. The reason his senses hadn't alerted him was clear: it was her. One of the few people he would never see as a threat.
As his vision cleared, he saw her. Sophie stood before him, her form radiant, her eyes brimming with tears. A warm, shaky smile graced her lips.
Unable to hold back, Alex pulled her into a fierce embrace, his lips capturing hers in a desperate, heartfelt kiss. Sophie melted into him, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. They stayed that way, lost in the moment, as the world around them faded away.
For the first time in what felt like forever, they truly held each other. And it was everything they had ever needed.