No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 46

EP.46

Chapter 4

Escape and Service (12)

Before delving into a deeper conversation, I went up to the rooftop of the building with Ria.

The Association’s building served as both an office and a resting area. While it wasn’t an enormous structure, it had spaces like a lounge and a cafeteria. The rooftop, rather than being a barren space with only air conditioning units and ventilation shafts, felt like a well-designed miniature garden. Could magic have been used here?

It seemed Gloria was engaging in more practical discussions with Ria’s uncle, Kim Hyeon-kang, while Lee Si-yoon and Han Yu-ri had returned to the training area, which was reassuring. The Association’s overall atmosphere had become lively because of me, so even if Gloria had stayed with them, it was unlikely anything troublesome would have occurred.

The vibe here felt less like fans surrounding an idol and more like citizens lining up to greet a deeply respected politician. Though I wasn’t planning to get involved in politics, I realized that if I wasn’t careful, misunderstandings might arise. Something to keep in mind.

A faintly chilly breeze swept past us. Shivering slightly, I became certain that the lush greenery of the garden had been cultivated through magic. It might have been the season for sprouts to emerge, but it was still too early for the plants to be this vividly green. Soft crunches underfoot accompanied us as we walked across the lawn to the rooftop’s railing, where I leaned lightly against it.

“This is nice.”

I murmured, though not to anyone in particular.

We were still in the heart of the city, and the building wasn’t high enough to boast a breathtaking view, yet the spacious road stretching ahead and the adjacent large park created an open and refreshing sight.

It was a weekday afternoon, and the relatively quiet atmosphere added its own charm. The people below seemed unusually relaxed as they strolled about.

Hunters typically fought for money, but I doubted that was their only motivation. Surely, part of them wanted to protect scenes like this.

At the park’s center stood a tall, black stone monument. From here, I couldn’t make out the inscriptions on its surface, but I knew they were the names of those who had perished in a disaster that had occurred in this area.

At first glance, it seemed like a monument that could be toppled with force, but it was deeply embedded below and reinforced on the sides, supposedly able to withstand a significant earthquake.

The monument’s sturdiness symbolized a promise—that such a tragedy would never happen again. It was a declaration of meticulous vigilance and swift response to prevent such catastrophic events.

The building’s most relaxing resting area had been constructed in a spot offering the best view of the monument. Somehow, I doubted this was a coincidence.

“……”

I had seen people get injured and lose their lives to uphold that promise.

“Here.”

Ria handed me a canned drink.

“Thank you.”

It turned out to be a warm drink. She was perceptive. It wasn’t unbearably cold, but my hands had been slightly chilly, so I didn’t drink it immediately.

We stood side by side, leaning against the railing.

No other Hunters were visible in the rooftop garden. Perhaps they had vacated the area after hearing we were coming. If so, I felt a little guilty about it.

The sound of a can being opened came from beside me.

Ria took a sip of her warm cocoa, her expression thoughtful. It wasn’t unusual for her to look like she was pondering something, but today, her gaze suggested that her thoughts were about me. The power isn’t mine. I had always believed—and still did—that the strength I wielded wasn’t my own, and thus there was nothing for me to boast about.

Even now, my feelings remained unchanged. To be honest, hearing praise left me both elated and slightly uncomfortable. It felt as though I was receiving recognition that should have gone to someone else.

For some reason, I didn’t want Ria to sense those thoughts. Was that just childish pride? Maybe it was because we’d spent so much time arguing while sharing a room. She was, after all, the person I’d had the most frequent and longest conversations with since arriving in this world.

“Why?”

Trying to lighten the mood, I deliberately made an exaggerated comment. Closing my eyes and puffing out my chest, I said:

“Have you finally realized how amazing I am?”

…It was a statement full of openings for rebuttal. After all, I had told Ria several times before that my strength wasn’t truly mine and that I wouldn’t use it for my own sake. I fully expected a quick retort—but Ria stayed silent, seemingly lost in thought.

“……”

I looked at her, puffing my lips slightly, tempted to give her a playful jab in the side—but I didn’t.

…It couldn’t be helped.

I’d lived in a woman’s body for quite some time now, and I had adjusted to it in my own way. At this point, I could handle another woman changing clothes in front of me without reacting too much—though I still couldn’t look directly.

But there was one thing that hadn’t changed at all.

I…well, I liked women.

That much had remained constant. Loving a man? That probably wasn’t something I’d ever be capable of. However, that didn’t mean I could just go around sharing such thoughts in this world. Even though the timeline here was reminiscent of a near-future setting, societal views on sexuality weren’t all that different from reality.

And, of course, I lived in a convent.

In this world’s religion, such topics were largely taboo—especially in a convent setting. If people weren’t careful, things could easily become unbearably awkward.

If Ria had at least shown hints of such feelings in the original story, I might have felt less hesitant. But in the original work, Ria had liked Lee Si-yoon. Regardless of my intention to interfere with that, I already knew her orientation. Revealing such feelings in the same gender relationship could easily damage the bond between people. Even if, rationally, one could separate “liking me” from general orientation, people often reacted more defensively to things they were unfamiliar with. It’s similar to how women might sometimes think, “What if she likes me?” That thought could extend to an entire orientation. Ironically, the very fact that Ria casually poked my side, grabbed my hand or wrist, or patted my head stemmed from her lack of any sexual awareness of me. Conversely, I couldn’t look at Ria in quite the same indifferent way.

“……”

In the end, I folded my fingers back.

That’s right—I was a coward.

What could I do about it? I hadn’t even experienced proper romance in my previous life.

Back in college, I could barely hold a conversation with my female peers, let alone seniors or juniors. No matter how close we’d become as roommates, acting like that around someone as blatantly attractive as Ria felt overwhelming.

Just as I was about to sigh deeply, Ria spoke up.

“Have I… been treating you too harshly?”

“What are you talking about now?”

Thankfully, her words were so ridiculous they instantly dispelled the complicated thoughts weighing on me.

“Well, you know…”

My incredulous reaction must have come across as a sort of counterattack because Ria began darting her eyes around nervously.

“I mean, you’ve saved so many people—that alone makes you a heroine. But you don’t go out of your way to boast about it. In some ways, you fit the image of a heroine better than anyone. So, I wondered if I’d been treating you too rude… Why are you looking at me like that?”

Compliments always felt nice. And having someone like Ria—an undeniable beauty—pat my head while doing so? Well, I could definitely accept that. When she openly flattered me like that, it felt unbearably awkward. Was she doing this on purpose?

“What’s this about all of a sudden? Who in the world pokes a so-called heroine’s ribs with their finger like that?”

I replied.

“Well, I…”

Ria trailed off, seemingly lost in thought, before lowering her head slightly.

“I’m sorry…”

Her voice was barely audible.

Do you know this? No matter how much someone tries to focus on inner qualities, the damned prejudice surrounding appearances doesn’t fade easily. To my eyes, Ria’s outward appearance was every bit the heroine’s ideal, which only left me at a loss for words.

Annoyance surged within me.

So, Lee Si-yoon managed to make someone like this fall for him? Enough to share a first kiss?

Knowing Novelpia’s tendencies, there were probably explicit chapters involved too. I shook the thoughts out of my head. Thinking about that here was definitely not appropriate.

“Well, it’s not like I have zero complaints.”

I said, breaking the silence.

“But you don’t have to go so far as to apologize. What, are you trying to suffocate someone?”

“N-No, that’s not what I meant…”

“And don’t even think about apologizing again! Seriously, what’s wrong? Did you eat something weird today?”

“Ah, no, it’s just…”

Feeling a bit frustrated, I leaned my face close to Ria’s and then quickly pulled back. Wait, what was I thinking?

Oh, right.

“Let’s not forget our original goal.”

“Our original goal?”

“The church is just my hiding place, remember? I’m only staying there long enough to resolve the stalker issue. All this talk about being a Saintess or whatever—let’s push that to the back burner and make our escape before anything is finalized.”

“Ah, yeah.”

Ria looked as if her bubble had just burst, but I thought that was for the better.

Right. The church is just a sanctuary.

When I step outside, even if the praise feels good at first, I know I’ll soon feel stifled. What might seem like simple volunteer work to me could, at some point, become someone else’s…only salvation. That was too much for me to handle.

“I’ll do various volunteer activities while I’m at the church, sure. But once I escape, I’m planning to live properly for myself. Atheists only get one life, after all.”

“Is that so…”

Ria’s response was deflated, so I playfully pointed my finger at her.

“That’s why, if we’ve decided to cooperate, we need to stick with it until the end. Got it? No weird ideas. Seriously, a heroine? Are you trying to turn me into some Saintess?”

“Huh.”

Ria let out a sound, part disbelief and part exasperation, before bursting into laughter.

“Hahaha!”

“What’s so funny? Are my words that hilarious?”

“Huh? No, no. It’s just…the situation. It’s funny.”

Ria exhaled deeply, calming herself before placing a hand on my head.

Then, she gently ruffled my hair.

“Yeah, that’s more like Anna.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“A lot of things,” she said, withdrawing her hand.

I didn’t like the faint sense of disappointment I felt when she did.

That’s when I realized I still hadn’t opened the can in my hand. I popped it open and took a sip.

Ria patiently waited for me to finish my cocoa.

At least for now, the heavy mood from earlier didn’t seem to linger in her.

I was relieved.