My SAO adventure is wrong, as expected

Chapter 49: Hachiman — The Tender Land Is a Hero's Grave

All surviving members of the Smiling Coffin guild were sent to prison, and the remaining members of the Clearer reacted in various ways.

Some breathed a sigh of relief that the battle was over; some mourned their fallen comrades; some cursed the enemy in anger; others sat silently on the ground.

The atmosphere was so oppressive it was suffocating.

Even usually calm Kirito had a dark expression as he took the initiative to talk to Hachiman.

"Finally, it's over."

"Yeah."

"How many did you kill?"

Kirito's voice was somewhat hoarse as he asked.

"Four."

"Same here, four. I heard the total was fifteen—between the two of us, that's more than half."

As the main contributors to ending today's battle by defeating enemy officers, Hachiman and Kirito, due to their superior strength, had to face more enemies, which led to their kill counts far surpassing those of other members.

In this gloomy atmosphere, Klein suddenly stood up and shouted loudly: "Yes, we did kill people! But at the same time, we protected the innocent who might have otherwise died in the future! Don't forget that!"

The echo layered through the cave, as if this roar had pierced some thin membrane.

Hachiman looked at Klein's reddened eyes and suddenly realized that this man, who always joked around, was now using all his strength to resist an uncomfortable impulse.

Those words seemed like salvation for them in that moment—even if they were just a kind of wordplay, it was an undeniable truth.

"That's right!"

"We protected those we wanted to protect!"

"Everyone! Lift your heads!"

The group seemed to regain some spirit, with approving voices coming from various places.

Those who had been sitting on the ground also stood up one after another and began moving toward the cave exit.

When they reached outside, Asuna ran over with a worried face.

"Thank goodness, you're all okay."

"Yeah."

"I heard PoH wasn't there?"

"Not on the kill list," Agil wiped his heavy axe; the metal scraping sound was sharp and grating. "That guy probably planned from the start to send his subordinates as cannon fodder."

"Anyway, being alone he can't make much trouble. We just need to stay alert."

At that moment, Klein and Agil joined the group, and the five began walking toward the town. Agil was the first to speak.

"Sorry, both of you. This kind of thing should have been handled by us adults, but in the end, you two ended up bearing more…"

Kirito immediately shook his head at this.

"Agil, don't say that. It just happened this time. All decisions were made after group discussion. Although it feels strange for me to say it, it's a responsibility we all share. Don't worry about it."

Klein also nodded repeatedly.

Hachiman remained silent as usual.

That wasn't surprising, but now it was clear he was distracted.

He recalled the gaze of the red-named player who was on the brink of death—not fear or hatred, but a chilling kind of pleasure.

"Hachiman-kun...?"

"Ah? W-What?"

"Nothing... Everyone else looks dejected, but you seem…"

"Do we look that dejected?"

"Yes. Klein-san's forced smile is too obvious, Agil-san, who normally doesn't show much emotion due to his business habits, has a stiff face, and Kirito-kun... it's as if the word 'depressed' is written on his back?"

Asuna listed everyone's reactions like a connoisseur.

Hearing this, the three were stunned.

"I always feel…"

"Lately, Asuna…"

"Have you been corrupted by Hachiman!?"

"Hey, you guys, am I some kind of infection source?"

Seemingly awakened by this, Hachiman suddenly retorted, and Asuna quickly apologized.

"Sorry! I was so worried just now, but seeing everyone's faces made me relieved and I couldn't help it..."

"Hey Asuna, that's not comforting at all."

Watching their interaction, the five finally smiled.

"You really saved us."

"Yeah, seeing you makes us feel at ease."

"After all, Hachiman never wavers."

Asuna's expression suddenly darkened when she heard this.

"That's because I wasn't there at the scene. Although I can imagine how terrifying it must have been, I can't truly understand that kind of pain. So instead, I just have to pretend to be cheerful."

"That's fine!" the three said in unison. "None of us want to see Asuna sad!"

"It's thanks to you that we can cheer up!"

"Asuna-san's smile is our motivation!"

"Um… sorry, thank you all…"

Asuna bowed deeply to the three.

"What now? Shall we eat?"

"Sounds good. How about you, Hachiman?"

Faced with the question, Hachiman fell silent again, his distraction returning.

"Hachiman… kun?"

Asuna gently shook his arm.

"Ah? Eat? I'm not going today."

"Oh. Then let's go."

"Wait, what about Asuna-san?"

"Klein..."

Kirito pulled Klein aside and whispered:

"Look closely at Asuna."

"Ah, I see now."

Asuna was still holding onto Hachiman's shirt corner—a habitual gesture she made when worried about someone.

"Well then, let's go!"

The three headed toward the busy street.

"Isn't Asuna coming?"

"Ah, um, Kirito-kun, wait!"

Hearing the conversation, Hachiman thought Asuna was also going to eat and turned to walk alone toward the teleport gate.

Asuna watched his movement, then ran to Kirito and thanked him:

"Thank you for watching over Hachiman-kun's back."

"Of course. If I don't catch up soon, he'll be too far ahead."

The vision began to warp.

The cave walls showed countless bloody handprints. Hachiman blinked desperately but saw the faces of those he had slain crawling out of the shadows, their shattered vocal cords emitting eerie laughter.

"Welcome to... the real world..." That phrase seemed like a curse echoing in his ears.

When Asuna caught up to Hachiman, she found him sitting dazed on his sofa, and she didn't realize when she had grabbed his hand.

"What's going on? Asuna, your hand…"

"You're missing the point! Finally snapped out of it?"

Asuna let go and waved her hand before his eyes.

"What was I just doing?"

"No response no matter how we called you—completely absent-minded."

"Is that so."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, now I remember."

"Is it really because of today? You seemed the calmest."

"Maybe... that's the problem. Being too calm."

Hachiman started to speak haltingly:

"I was prepared mentally before the battle, but actually killing people was still hard.

Then afterward, I suddenly felt 'it's just like that.'

Although death in this world is just a special effect, nothing like reality.

But isn't that 'it's just like that' feeling terrifying? It did bring relief, thinking it could reduce casualties.

But is that really the feeling you should have after killing? Normal people should feel more depressed and painful.

Then I realized—maybe my heart is broken.

Everything went black, and I don't remember what happened after…"

He sighed deeply.

"Asuna, am I still human now? Am I just a program sitting here? Is the real me already gone...?"

"No!" Asuna suddenly hugged his head against her chest.

"Because Hachiman-kun is crying! Programs don't cry!"

"Eh? I… cried?"

Hachiman then noticed the wetness on his cheek.

"So now you're not a program or a robot, but the Hachiman-kun who's always calm, reliable, self-deprecating, trouble-averse, and sometimes says strange things!"

"The latter part is just insulting... but I'm still alive after all…"

Seeing Hachiman somewhat reassured, Asuna continued:

"You're just temporarily numb. Every Clearer is somewhat like that right now."

"Numb?"

"But as long as you can still cry, it's fine! If you get stuck again, I'll make you cry again!"

"That method sounds off... but please go easy on me then."

'Maybe it's because of Asuna's strength, which I don't have, that I can keep myself intact until the end.'

"Um, thank you for everything so far."

"I'm the one who's always been saved by Hachiman-kun, from the very beginning."

After calming down, Hachiman suddenly blushed:

"L-Let go already…"

"Ah! Pervert!"

Asuna instantly sprang away and slapped him across the face.

"Ow! That woke me up completely."

"S-Sorry! But it's all Hachiman-kun's fault for saying weird things!"

"You started it…"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

"But now you know you're still alive, right?"

"Ah, can I ask for this 'confirmation service' again when I'm lost?"

"Just know, it only involves slaps!"

"Of course."

Watching Asuna leave, Hachiman touched his burning cheek with a bitter smile.

Though the tragedy wasn't fully over, he was sure that as long as the two of them were together, they could overcome any psychological hurdle—that might be today's greatest gain.