My Childhood Friend Became an Inquisitor

“Sniff. Thank you. But, someday I…”
“Hm?”
“I don’t want to just always rely on Louis, I want to become someone Louis can lean on.”
*

Thinking about it, it was strange. I endured such severe torture, yet not only were my clothes not torn, even my body was so intact?

Moreover, not a single drop of blood was on the clothes I was wearing. Just as when I first opened my eyes in the re-education center, the cross pattern entwined with a crown of thorns caught my eye.

With only a slight ache in my wrist as the only injury remaining on my body, it’s fortunate from my perspective, but the injuries are minor to an excessive degree.

“Let’s eat first. I’ll explain slowly.”

When I expressed my puzzlement, Anne seemed to slightly evade the subject.

Still, I could naturally skip the pre-meal prayer, so should I consider this fortunate? As I picked up the spoon again while observing her reaction, this time Anne didn’t stop me, lost in thought.

The porridge I finally tasted was bland and tasteless as it appeared, but with my current state of mind, even if a royal feast had been placed before me, my impression wouldn’t have been different.

Just repetitive spoonfuls for survival, to fill the stomach. Without joy or gratitude.

“First, you know this isn’t an ordinary space, right?”

Only when the bowl was nearly half empty did Anne, who had been silent, seem to gather her thoughts and speak.

“I heard something about it being a distorted space, or something like that.”

“That’s right. But that’s not all. In fact, there’s no place where Ailim’s breath is more deeply ingrained than the re-education center.”

At those words, I paused eating the porridge and looked around for a moment. Here? The white horizon is distant and vast, and the light filling everything is more painful than sacred.

“Just these bars function as the axis of the holy barrier. And the light too. Look.”

What Anne pointed to was a piece of the iron box she had crushed earlier. At first, I didn’t know what she was trying to say.

“It’s shrunk a lot, hasn’t it? The purifying light filling the re-education center burns away foreign substances and dirty things.”

“Ah, you’re right.”

“So in here, you won’t get dirty even if you don’t wash, and the chamber pot will empty itself.”

Amusingly, the emotion I felt upon hearing this was relief. That I wouldn’t have to show an unsightly appearance to my childhood friend.

Even in this situation, such a petty and childish feeling remained in a corner of my heart.

“And, the porridge you’re eating too.”

“…Hmm. I really don’t understand this one.”

“It’s natural that you don’t notice. The effect of that porridge is to fill the eater’s stomach.”

Isn’t it normal for food to fill your stomach when you eat it? I tilted my head at such an obvious statement, and Anne added:

“It means that even a monster craving blood and human flesh, a heretic who can only live on the sacrifice of others, can sustain themselves eating just this porridge. Though they can’t avoid becoming weak.”

A still puzzling explanation, though better than the previous one. Certainly, at times like this, I feel that Anne is from a different world than me.

I cried and wailed as if the whole world was ending when our village collapsed, but Anne must have destroyed countless villages with her own hands.
To the extent that she no longer considers even her own hometown special.

“Surely this doesn’t contain blood or human flesh, does it?”

My inner thoughts slipped out unintentionally.

“That’s an interesting joke, Louis.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Still, you should be careful. I’m fine, but others might get angry at you.”

A flat tone, no different from the gentle tone she used when explaining about the re-education center earlier.

But I froze in the middle of scooping the porridge. Because Anne’s eyes were chillingly wide as she spoke those words.

Her irises were frozen cold and expressionless, but her lips still wore a gentle smile, making it seem unnatural, as if mismatched pieces were forcibly put together.

“I understand, I’ll be careful.”

“Ahaha. You don’t need to stiffen up so much though. The brothers and sisters of the Church are merciful.”

Anne seemed peaceful, as if unaware of how she appeared.

Soon her pupils contracted and Anne returned to her usual self, but the goosebumps raised on my arms proved that what I had just seen wasn’t an illusion.

What was that? What on earth made you like that?

Tick.

In the awkward silence, the spoon scraped the bottom of the empty porridge bowl.

I’ve already finished it. In a strange sensation that wasn’t quite fullness but didn’t make me want to eat any more food either, I set down the bowl.

I could see the small remnants disappearing on their own. As time passed, the bowl became spotless as if it had never contained food in the first place.

“Louis.”

At the softly called name, I finally raised my head that had been forcibly lowered.

I was newly afraid to meet Anne’s gaze. Because I didn’t know what would come next.

My wounded and sick heart now suffered even from paranoia, making me think that perhaps Anne too was actually no different from the other Inquisitors.

That what I was given was just the last mercy for a death row inmate, and that next Anne might pick up the mace herself to crush me…

“Don’t worry, Louis, you’ll soon adapt to life in the re-education center.”

But when our eyes met, my heart became confused to an extent I couldn’t define myself.

How can one person appear in so many different ways? The enemy of the village, an object of fear, an unforgettable first love, my light.

Fearing yet craving affection, trying to embrace but freezing at the sight of the Inquisitor’s emblem.

What you’re wearing now is not armor but loose priestly robes, and the cross engraved on your chest is also a dazzling gold symbolizing the glory of the Church.

But with each blink, I couldn’t help but see a red, wet afterimage overlapping it. A shadow that will be cast on me for life, whether I wanted it or not.

I learned how weak a person’s soul is, how something built up over a lifetime can be broken and crumbled in such a short time.

I experienced it. Twice.
When Anne swung her mace, my world collapsed, and when the red-haired Inquisitor lit the holy fire, even I withered away.

“Can I… really?”

I am now ashes left after burning. Pieces of what was broken, gathered together.

Even if Anne mercifully releases me now, I could never return to my previous life. While I suffer from anxiety and delusions when Anne is not by my side, even when Anne is here, I still can’t shake off my fear.

I feel like I’m going crazy. No, am I already crazy? Seeing that I even feel proud of myself for being able to speak like this.

“Of course!”

I didn’t have the energy to shake off the hand that once again grasped mine. That small, fine hand both supported and toppled me.

“Originally, priests visit the re-education center periodically to teach God’s words to the heretics. But this time, I’m thinking of taking on that task.”

“Weren’t you… an Inquisitor?”

Even in the midst of struggle, I grasp the last thread of reason and ask intermittently. Assembling words to form sentences felt like extremely arduous labor.

“Yes, but I was originally a priest too. The Church will listen to me. If they don’t listen, I’ll make them listen even if I have to overturn everything.”

A violent joke that the old Anne wouldn’t have made. No, is it even a joke?

As if a part of my brain was broken, all words and stimuli come in a beat late. I could only blankly stare at Anne, who was uttering words that didn’t match her delicate appearance.

“So-”

Anne, filled with joy as she envisioned the future, seemed to have no time to look at my current state. With eyes sparkling as if filled with stars, she raises her voice energetically, filled with expectation that her dream will surely come true.

To such an extent that it seemed like she was encouraging herself rather than me.

“-we can be together forever!”

“……”

“In here. Without anyone’s interference, without being taken away by someone! Louis. You don’t have to be sorry for breaking your promise.”

Perhaps Anne was thinking of my reaction that way. That I was just distracted, or that I felt too ashamed to receive her kindness, hence this dark mood.

That assumption was, of course, reasonable. Normally, I would have been apologetic and remorseful throughout my meeting with Anne. Because it was true that I had trampled on her pure love. Even if Anne felt betrayed and got angry, I would have accepted it humbly.

However, now my heart was too turbid to feel sorry for Anne.

“You must have been anxious and lonely too, Louis. It’s my fault for not being by your side when you needed me the most.”

The muddy water bubbling up in my chest was overflowing, to the point where if I opened my mouth, it would spill out.

So I chose to remain silent instead.

Why don’t you say the most important thing? Pretending not to know, pretending to forget, pretending nothing happened.

“Even if everyone else curses and points fingers, even if the world turns its back, at least I…”

“I’ll forgive you.”

I don’t think I can forgive you.