Miss, stop committing suicide

Chapter 23

I sat there quietly, even after hearing about my brother.

I was just too tired to respond anymore.

I’d had enough of this unsettling prince—a man who was clearly not within the bounds of a “normal” human being.

“How about something a bit more traditional?” he asked.

“Stoning.

It’s a punishment that dates back hundreds of years for women living in brothels or those accused of adultery.

It was more than just conservative back then—it was something else entirely.”

“Do I even have a choice?” I shot back.

He gave an exaggerated shrug and made a mock show of pondering the question.

“Not really,” he admitted, “but I can make it look like you do.

You’ll die just the same, after all.”

“What happens if I try to escape?”

“The person who cut off your hand will make sure to do the same to your feet,” he replied nonchalantly.

So there really were people around, hiding in plain sight.

It’s probably not full invisibility—more like a spell that makes them translucent.

Considering the state of the neatly arranged corpses, it’s unlikely it’s just one person.

How many of them follow him around daily?

“People are starting to gather around,” he remarked, “which means it’s time for me to get back to work.

This conversation has been fun, though.”

I could hear the distant murmurs of people gathering outside the classroom.

I glanced outside and saw a crowd of onlookers, their faces stricken with shock as they took in the scene.

Well, of course they’d be shocked.

They’d heard the noise and came to investigate, only to find dead nobles with holes in their heads and me—a girl pretty enough to call beautiful, if I’m being honest—having a casual chat with the crown prince.

“Time to get back to work,” he’d said.

Does he see being the prince as just another job?

While I pondered that, he suddenly stood up and struck me with all his might.

My head whipped to the side, my body twisting as I slammed into the wall.

“Ugh…”

“How dare you!” he bellowed.

“In this sacred place, established by His Majesty, you dare commit such atrocities…”

A loud ringing buzzed in my ears, making it hard to hear the rest.

My vision blurred a little but not enough to obscure what I saw.

The students gazed at him with admiration.

At the center of them all was Vivian, her eyes wide with shock as she stared at me.

Ah, our eyes met.

She must have realized it too, as her body flinched.

For some reason, I felt like I wanted to reassure her.

Not that I’d know how.

Still, I curled my lips into a small smile.

With all the strength gone from my body, I stayed sprawled out as two men in military uniforms appeared and bound my hands and feet with purple ropes.

They began dragging me away.

I didn’t resist.

After that, I don’t remember much.

All I recall is thinking, “The prince is surprisingly good at his job.”

***

When I opened my eyes, I was in a cell.

The purple ropes were still tied around my hands and feet.

These must be the kind that prevent magic use.

I could smell something foul, a mix of food and rot.

Looking ahead, I saw a bowl of soup that looked as unappetizing as it smelled.

There was also bread, and I figured bread should be safe enough.

I picked up a piece and took a bite, but it was so hard I thought my teeth would break.

Hunger or not, I tossed the food onto the floor.

That’s not food meant for people.

They’d left me in my uniform.

I’m not sure if it was meant as a kindness, but at least there weren’t any other prisoners around.

That’s somewhat comforting.

“Bored,” I muttered to myself.

Honestly, the concept of dying still doesn’t feel real to me.

Even if I’ve technically died once, I’m not sure if I really died or if I’d somehow rewound time before dying.

I noticed someone in front of the cell—a guard with a curved sword at his hip.

When I got up and approached, he pulled out a long wooden baton and jabbed it into my solar plexus.

I doubled over, gasping for breath.

“Kuh… ugh…”

Too harsh.

I thought about talking to him, but I had a feeling he’d just beat me with that baton if I said anything irritating.

Execution, huh.

I hope they make it as painless as possible.

Like anyone else, I don’t want to feel pain.

No one would willingly hand over their right to live to another person.

I’d only accepted it because I’d convinced myself I couldn’t end it on my own.

At least the world’s a cold place.

For someone like Vivian, this world is dazzling and beautiful.

But for villains like me, it’s a world that dishes out harsh punishments.

If Vivian had done what I’d done—though she never would—she’d never be punished.

They’d paint Lydia as a wicked person who deserved to die and load her with all kinds of false accusations.

The crown prince, Evan, and every unknown man would go to her defense.

That’s just the kind of person she is—someone who always lives under divine protection.

They say humans are beings that need correction.

Execution excludes the possibility of correction.

But if the person doesn’t even wish to be corrected, then what’s the point?

If someone’s view of life and perception of others have already hardened, leaving them no choice but to live that way—

And if the things they’ve done are unforgivable in the eyes of those in power—

Then, according to the principles of retribution, I must die.

But it’s laughable, isn’t it?

Even after deciding to die and setting everything in motion, I’m still trembling with fear at the thought of what’s to come.

Maybe I’m afraid to die after all.

Or maybe it’s because Lydia is gone.

At the very least, one of the people who tormented me is no longer here.

I can avoid Evan by dodging him, and if Vivian comes looking for me, I can always run away.

So why couldn’t I come up with a less drastic solution, as the crown prince suggested?

Maybe I’d just been cornered too much.

When a rat is cornered, it doesn’t bite the cat out of some hopeful desire to survive.

No, it’s because it’s overwhelmed by the threat of imminent death and the immense stress that comes with it.

Faced with a creature that will toy with it until it dies, the rat’s mind goes blank, and it bites.

That’s all.

Because it sees no other option.

Rats are simple, greedy creatures that value their lives dearly.

In that sense, I’m no different from a rat.

Whenever I’m faced with danger, I never think about overcoming it or fighting back—I just focus on hiding.

If I see something I want, I’m quick to get greedy.

I like the nighttime, when the streets are empty and people aren’t around.

I’m not sure if it’s the darkness I prefer or the absence of people.

When I was cornered, I bit Lydia with sharp teeth.

The name of my teeth was “revolver.”

When a girl like Vivian approaches me, I instinctively push her away, even though she’s clearly approaching with kindness.

And that’s what’s happening right now.

“Why did you come here? To mock me?”

Vivian’s face crumples as if she’s about to cry.

“I… I told you I’d help you!” she says, her voice trembling.

“I said I’d do whatever you wanted!”

“Oh, that,” I reply with a hollow laugh.

“Didn’t I tell you to jump? But you didn’t.

Not that it matters now.”

I never expected her to actually do it, and I never planned to beg her for anything either.

In the end, Vivian stands in front of me, crying.

But I’m the one who wants to cry.

No… not really.

I don’t want to cry.

Vivian’s sobs grow louder as she finally chokes out the message she’d come to deliver.

“His Highness… said the trial will be held tomorrow, and as soon as the verdict is given, your sentence will be carried out,” she says, her voice hoarse.

“So what?” I reply, feigning indifference.

“I begged him to spare you, but he said it’s impossible,” she says through tears.

“He said the only way to keep the academy stable—even if it’s a bit shaky—is for you to die.”

“I figured as much,” I mutter.

“I know, I know that,” Vivian says, her voice cracking with emotion.

“But even if I know that, I just can’t accept it… what… what am I supposed to do?!”

“We’re not that close, you and I,” I say, looking at her.

“I thought we were!” she yells, her emotions spilling over.

“You’re the first friend I’ve ever made at the academy… No, the first same-gender friend I’ve ever made in my life!”

“Then why did it have to turn out this way?” she cries.

“Is it because Evan likes me?

If I rip off my own face, will that stop all of this from happening?”

“Why are you asking me?” I snap, standing up.

The soldier holding the wooden baton eyes me warily.

He’s probably worried I’ll try to run.

Not that Vivian’s going to open the door for me anyway.

“But, Vivian…” I say, turning to look at her.

“Your future will shine as brightly as ever.

You won’t end up like me, rotting away in a place like this.”

It’s the kind of line this girl would never say under normal circumstances.

But I’m about to die, so I’m allowed a little weakness.

“I’m jealous of you, and I envy you,” I admit.

“That’s probably why I hate you.”

“…What?” she stammers.

“I’m just saying,” I reply.

“I’m about to die, so I’m allowed to say whatever I want, right?”

I’m feeling irritated now.

I want to throw something, but there’s nothing here except the cold stone floor.

Not even a piece of trash to hurl.

So I grab the hard bread and throw it instead.