Miracle Illusion

Yeonwoo always yearned for death.Eight years old.“Grandma, why don’t we have pizza?”“We have chicken here.”“We need pizza too.”“But there’s a lot of chicken?”“No, my friends said they wanted pizza too.”Yeonwoo, wearing a stretched-out T-shirt, whined while clutching his grandmother’s collar. On the purple round table were two yellow roast chickens and a butter cake.“How many did you say were coming?”Grandma took out a wad of money tied with a yellow rubber band from her worn apron. It was all blue bills. Yeonwoo spread out his small palm, folding each finger as he thought hard.“Jinwoo, Doyoung, and Jaewook said they were coming. Four people!”“Three people are coming?”“Yeah, three people…?”Yeonwoo started counting again, folding his fingers with a serious expression. Yeonwoo was overly excited about his first birthday since entering elementary school. He followed his grandmother around as she prepared the birthday table, endlessly requesting this and that. For his eight-year-old grandson’s birthday party, grandma used her wrinkled hands to prepare japchae (stir-fried glass noodles) and seaweed soup. It was fortunate that she had recently made acquaintances with kind store owners, allowing her to collect quite a bit of waste paper.“Let’s order pizza next time. We have plenty of food here, okay?”But there wasn’t enough money to order pizza. She set four pairs of spoons on the round table and placed the seaweed soup and rice next to them. A heap of japchae was placed next to the cake. Only after seeing the table full of food did Yeonwoo nod and give up on pizza.“Hong Yeonwoo!”“We’re here!”There was a knock on the metal door outside. Yeonwoo beamed a wide smile, opened the front door, and ran out, while Grandma checked the narrow room to see if there was anything left to tidy up.“Ugh! What’s that smell?!”The much-anticipated birthday party began to crack from the moment Yeonwoo’s three friends entered through the front door. Leading the group, Jaewook pinched his nose and frowned, while Jinwoo and Doyoung sniffed the air behind him. The smell of old mold pierced their noses.“What’s that smell…?”Yeonwoo, who had lived in this house since birth, couldn’t smell it. Grandma, flustered, opened the old windows wide, while Yeonwoo flared his nostrils, looking perplexed. The three friends exchanged puzzled glances before stepping inside.“Thank you for coming all the way here for Yeonwoo’s birthday.”Grandma, wearing a crumpled pink apron, poured water into empty cups. Jaewook rolled his eyes as he looked around the house. The single room barely qualified as a house. The sink was visible from where they sat.“I want pizza!”“We have chicken.”“No, I want pizza. I don’t like chicken.”This time, Doyoung expressed his dissatisfaction. Caught off guard by his friends’ unexpected reactions, Yeonwoo drooped his eyebrows, not knowing what to do. Jinwoo, who had silently reached for the chicken, joined in.“This isn’t chicken.”“It is chicken…!”“This is what those street vendors sell.”Since the chicken from the store was too expensive, they bought roast chicken from a truck vendor. Clearly, it had been a mistake. Grandma fidgeted her wrinkled hands nervously as the atmosphere grew tense.“My mom said this is dirty and told me not to eat it. She said it’s not chicken but pigeon.”“…”“And the house smells weird. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”While Jaewook and Jinwoo cornered Yeonwoo, Doyoung, who had thrust an unused spoon into the cake, licked the greasy cream, then wrinkled his nose.“The cake doesn’t even taste good.”The last remaining cake was also a failure. It was a butter cake bought from a local bakery, not a famous confectionery. They didn’t seem interested in touching the seaweed soup and japchae that Grandma had worked so hard to make. Yeonwoo pursed his lips, looking as though he might burst into tears at any moment. The eyes of the wounded eight-year-old looked up at his grandmother.“I want to go to the bathroom.”“The bathroom is over there….”With his lips drooping, Yeonwoo pointed to the bathroom next to the front door with a downcast face.“Ahh!”Had it been ten seconds since Jinwoo entered the bathroom? At the ear-piercing scream, Grandma hurriedly ran over.“A bug!”Waaah. Jinwoo burst into tears at the sight of the cockroach that crawled out from under the washing machine, and Yeonwoo started to cry loudly as well.Eight years old, on his birthday.“It’s all Grandma’s fault….”The friends left before thirty minutes had passed since they came in. Yeonwoo, turning his back to the cold food, buried his face in his knees and wept uncontrollably, blaming his grandmother who was anxiously trying to comfort him.It’s all Grandma’s fault. I told you to buy the cake from Baguette. I told you we needed pizza. How could you bring pigeon instead of chicken? Waaaah, ugh.“I’m sorry. It’s because Grandma is uneducated. I’m so sorry….”Hugging the grandson who had been abandoned by her irresponsible son, the grandmother, who could hardly read or write, shed bitter tears.On his eighth birthday, since that day, Yeonwoo was always an outcast.Thirteen years old.“Yeonwoo, have a good trip.”“Yes, Grandma. I’ll buy a gift for you when I come back.”Yeonwoo was excited. It was a day for a school trip to an amusement park. He hated trips the most because he had no friends, but for some reason, Jaewook had invited him to join them.Hong Yeonwoo is a beggar, they say. They say there are bugs in his house and it smells there. Jaewook, who had bullied him for years, asked him to join them, and without thinking, Yeonwoo nodded.Grandma gave him a generous allowance. For the first time in a long while, she handed him 20,000 won. The wounds from his eighth birthday still remained with her. Yeonwoo waved to his grandmother and eagerly took off.“Hong Yeonwoo, stand here.”They had a reason for asking Yeonwoo to join them. Popular rides had queues over two hours long, and they left Yeonwoo standing in line while they went off to ride other attractions. Yeonwoo stood patiently among the much taller adults, waiting for his turn. Jaewook’s group bought tteokbokki and churros, and only joined the line again when it had shortened. Still, Yeonwoo was happy. It was better than being alone.As it was time to go home, Yeonwoo realized he still had the money Grandma gave him. He hadn’t spent a single won. He hadn’t eaten anything as he was waiting in line the whole time. They were supposed to gather at the main gate by seven, and it was already six-thirty. Yeonwoo, glancing at Jaewook, hesitantly spoke up.“Can I buy that?”Yeonwoo pointed to a churros truck. With a knowing look exchanged with Jinwoo, Jaewook replied, “Do as you please.” Excited, Yeonwoo ran towards the churros truck. Finally, he could use the money he had carefully kept in his pocket.“Five, please!”Two thousand won each. Five would be ten thousand won. Yeonwoo handed the crumpled bill to the staff, feeling thrilled. One for Jaewook, one for Jinwoo, one for Doyoung, one for himself, and one for Grandma.“Please put them in a bag!”“Sure.”The staff was kind. They put the five long churros in a transparent plastic bag. Yeonwoo bowed his head in thanks and headed towards his friends.“Uh….”The big clock pointed to six-forty. There was no time to ride any more attractions. They didn’t take Yeonwoo with them as he was no longer useful.When he got home, the churros were already soaked in oil and tasted like nothing. Although Grandma ate three, saying they were delicious, she knew the truth. They only tasted like oil. Yeonwoo cried under the covers. He was a bit older now to blame his grandmother like when he was eight.Fifteen years old.“Grandma, I want to transfer schools.”6 PM. While other middle schoolers were busy going to PC rooms or arcades with friends after school, Yeonwoo always headed straight home. He had no friends. In a small neighborhood with only a few schools, Yeonwoo ended up attending the same middle school as Jaewook’s gang, who had made his life hell.“Transfer?”“Yeah. Can’t I change schools?”“…….”Grandma knew what he meant but couldn’t bring herself to speak. She couldn’t afford it. Yeonwoo looked at his grandmother’s even more hunched back and then spoke in a deliberately bright voice.“I was just saying. Don’t worry about it.”Grandma, whose eyesight was failing, couldn’t even thread a needle properly. Yeonwoo closed one eye and threaded it for her. Grandma patted Yeonwoo’s back a few times with her chapped hands. My child, my child. Yeonwoo barely held back his tears as he laid out the bedding.Eighteen years old.Being an outcast was bearable. Being alone was somehow okay. But the bullying escalated when he turned eighteen. Jaewook’s gang was mean-spirited but inherently cowardly, so they never went too far. The problem was the new transfer student. The new student, Jaeyul, was from Seoul. He was tall and big. The day he first saw Yeonwoo, who was bullied by the entire school, his eyes lit up like a child who had found a new toy. From then on, the bullying led by Jaeyul began.Nineteen years old.“You need to aim properly.”As soon as he sat down, something heavy hit the back of his head. Yeonwoo sighed inwardly. His head was hit a few more times. There was no need to clean it up now. He had to wait until they were done. During the thirty-minute morning self-study period, they sat at the back and spat phlegm at the back of Yeonwoo’s head.“Yeonwoo, enjoy your meal.”Lunchtime was even worse. As soon as he put his tray on the desk, broken pencil leads were poured into his soup. Eraser shavings were mixed into his white rice. Their laughter faded away. Yeonwoo picked up his chopsticks and put a piece of fried chicken into his mouth. He didn’t even cry anymore. Really.“Punching bag! Punching bag!”At first, Jaewook’s gang was scared of Jaeyul’s extreme bullying, but that didn’t last long. They quickly adapted and went even further than Jaeyul. During breaks, they would approach Yeonwoo, who sat in the front row, and punch his arms. They mimicked boxing, making swooshing sounds with their mouths as they hit his forearms. No one helped, but there were bystanders. Everyone except Jaeyul, Jaewook, Jinwoo, and Doyoung were bystanders. They just frowned and left the classroom without saying anything.“Yeonwoo, you should wash up. You smell!”The wounds from when he was eight still remained in his heart. Yeonwoo bit his lip to endure the throbbing pain spreading through his left arm. His pride was hurt. What did I do wrong? The injustice welled up in his throat. But he had nothing to say. He knew what the smell that had become familiar to him was. The smell of the single room, mold, Grandma’s scent….“Ugh….”He tried to hold back, but when Grandma’s face floated in his mind, tears burst out. Yeonwoo lowered his head and bit his lip.“Hey, are you crying?”Jaewook didn’t miss that. He bent down to check under the desk and saw Yeonwoo crying, then loudly mocked him. The laughter of the three others echoed from behind. Ah… I want to die. Yeonwoo longed for death, which he might choose any day now.As soon as the bell rang for break time, Yeonwoo hurriedly escaped through the back door. There was a bathroom right in front of the classroom, but he couldn’t use it. If he went in, dirty mop water would be poured over his head.“Ugh….”Yeonwoo headed to the staff bathroom on the first floor. He would get in big trouble if caught, but it was better to be scolded by a teacher. He entered a stall, locked the door, and carefully unbuttoned his shirt. When he had undone about four buttons, his shoulder was fully exposed. From his left shoulder to above his elbow, it was all purple bruises. The colors were as vivid as paint on a canvas.“Ah….”He frowned. Yeonwoo gently stroked his swollen forearm with his palm. Purple, green, blue. The bruises were of various colors. They beat him every day without giving him time to heal. At least it wasn’t broken. With a bitter expression, Yeonwoo stroked his forearm here and there before tidying up his clothes again.Ssshh- He turned on the water at the sink. He didn’t have time to wash his hair, so he cupped water in his hands and wet the back of his head. Phlegm was tangled in his hair. He hated being hit, but he hated the spitting even more. The sour smell of phlegm was overwhelming.It was more inconvenient because he couldn’t freely use his swollen left arm. He lowered his head and looked up with his eyes. He rubbed the sticky phlegm on the back of his head, but it didn’t come off completely. He heard music from outside the bathroom. Break time was over. Yeonwoo sighed deeply and quickly combed his hair with his fingers. Then he left the bathroom.“Ah….”The first thought that crossed his mind as he entered the classroom was that he had made a mistake. His forearm hurt too much, or maybe the stench of spit vibrating from the back of his head was too foul, and he had completely forgotten to take the important things when leaving his seat.“Yeonwoo is back!”His textbooks were scattered around, torn to shreds. He didn’t care since he had no intention of studying anyway. The disappearance of his bag, which had been neatly hung next to his desk, was also not a first, so it didn’t bother him. It was probably in the toilet or the mop bucket. The real problem lay elsewhere.“Ha….”Fortunately or unfortunately, the blackboard read <Self-study>. It meant the teacher wouldn’t be coming in this period. Yeonwoo sighed and left the classroom again. He opened the bathroom door and started looking for his bag. He checked the stalls from the end, looking into the trash cans and lifting the toilet covers. This time, it was in the third stall. Without hesitation, he reached for the black bag half-submerged in the toilet water.There was no need to hope. The money was, of course, gone. It was the money to buy Grandma’s medicine. The pharmacy was right in front of the school, so he had volunteered to get it for her. The small pocket where the money had been was empty. Yeonwoo frantically searched his bag. He checked the trash can and the toilet tank. Of course, it wasn’t there.“Did you take my money?”“What money?”He had never approached them first, but today he had no choice. After taking a few deep breaths, Yeonwoo opened the back door and headed straight for Jaeyul’s seat. Jaewook, who was sitting next to Jaeyul with his legs up on the wooden desk, laughed slyly and asked in a shameless voice.“The money that was in my bag.”“What bag?”“…My bag.”Yeonwoo held up the bag in his hand. Water dripped from the soaked fabric. He had rinsed it once in the sink, but Jaeyul, thinking it was toilet water, recoiled in disgust.“Ah, damn it, that’s filthy…! Clean it up?”“Where’s the money that was in here?”“What money, you bastard.”“Just give me the money, and everything will be fine.”The conversation wasn’t flowing smoothly. Yeonwoo tightened his grip on the bag.“I need that money. Give it to me.”“Why would I have your money?”“You took my bag.”“What nonsense. Your bag is in your hand.”“You… put it in the toilet.”Yeonwoo’s voice trembled as he spoke. Jaeyul’s expression had turned frightening in an instant. Instinctively, Yeonwoo shrank back, staring at him with fearful eyes, and reached out his hand.“Just give me the money.”“Ha, damn it….”“Please.”He didn’t say it was to buy Grandma’s medicine. If he did, they would mock him for having a smelly grandmother. The mockery was enough for him alone.“Ah…!”Jaeyul, with a sly smile, looked at Yeonwoo standing in front of him for a moment. Then he grabbed Yeonwoo’s outstretched hand and yanked him forward. Yeonwoo lost his balance and leaned forward.“Who do you think you’re treating like a beggar…? Yeonwoo, I don’t steal other people’s money.”“Ugh….”“They say beggars only see beggars…. Idiot.”A large hand roughly grabbed Yeonwoo’s hair. Yeonwoo groaned and rubbed his throbbing jaw. He must have hit Jaeyul’s knee directly when he fell. Blood trickled down his chin from his split lip.“Do you think I’m easy, Yeonwoo?”“…….”His chin was forcibly lifted by the grip on his hair. Yeonwoo wiped the blood running down to his neck with the back of his hand and shook his head. Jaeyul’s face twisted in displeasure at the unsatisfactory answer.“Hey. Play some music. Anything.”Jaeyul ordered someone. Jinwoo, who had been laughing, took out his phone and played a song. Thump, thump, thump. The loud beat of an old song echoed through the classroom. Doyoung, who had been lying down, was now filming Yeonwoo with his phone held horizontally. Everyone else was looking straight ahead, as if they couldn’t hear anything. Bystanders.“Ugh…!”As soon as the male singer’s song started, a fist landed in Yeonwoo’s stomach. He clutched his belly and fell to the floor. Jaeyul lowered himself and grabbed Yeonwoo’s hair, forcing him to stand. He cunningly avoided hitting visible areas.Yeonwoo endured the punches, floating in the air like a powerless paper doll. When the tip of Jaeyul’s shoe struck his right thigh, the pain was so intense that he screamed loudly. When he was hit squarely in the solar plexus, he gasped for breath. Still, Jaeyul didn’t stop.The merciless beating only ended after the four-minute song completely stopped. A rectangular phone moved back and forth over Yeonwoo, who lay on the floor, pale-faced. Doyoung’s laughter as he filmed was a bonus.“Yeonwoo, if you get out within ten seconds, I won’t hit you anymore.”He could hit me, but he wouldn’t give me the money. I need to buy Grandma’s medicine. Yeonwoo clutched his aching stomach and hurriedly got up. His legs were weak, and he limped back to his seat. The sidelong glances from the bystanders were hard to endure. As soon as he pulled out his chair and sat down, he crossed his arms and lay down. He wanted to cry his heart out, but he knew that if his shoulders shook with sobs, he would become a target again, so he desperately held back.“Yeonwoo, are you back?”“Yes, Grandma, I’m back.”As soon as he opened the rickety iron gate, Grandma, who was hanging laundry in the yard, greeted him. He answered brightly, pretending to be cheerful so she wouldn’t worry. Grandma, who was growing older by the day, patted Yeonwoo’s hunched back and took his bag.“Why is your bag so wet?”“Oh… something spilled on it, so I washed it.”“Should I wash it again?”“I’ll wash it later.”“No, I’ll wash it for you.”Grandma, knowing nothing, placed her grandson’s bag in a corner of the yard. His beaten forearm, thigh, and stomach hurt so much that it was hard to stand straight. Yeonwoo wrapped his arms around his stomach and bit his lips to endure the pain.“Grandma, I couldn’t buy the medicine. I’m sorry.”“Hmm?”“I lost the money. I’m sorry.”His voice, which had been bright, grew smaller. Unable to face Grandma directly, he lowered his head and saw his dirty shoes. Ah… I don’t want to live. He hated everything.“It’s okay. I’ll go buy it tomorrow.”“I’m sorry….”“It’s okay, my child….”Grandma, as if she knew everything without being told, patted Yeonwoo’s shoulder. Even the light touch made his body tremble with pain. Yeonwoo pretended not to notice the cold sweat running down his back and smiled brightly.“Grandma, I want to eat your kimchi stew.”“Kimchi stew? Should I make it now?”“Yes.”“Alright, just wait a bit.”Grandma acted as if she would do anything Yeonwoo wanted. Her wrinkled eyes softened. Soon, the sound of clattering came from the kitchen. The sound of the gas stove being turned on and the refrigerator being opened. It would take at least twenty minutes for the dish to be ready. That was the time he could cry his heart out. Yeonwoo grabbed the smelly bag placed in the corner of the yard and headed to the bathroom. As soon as he turned on the light, black cockroaches scurried into the corners.“Hic….”He turned on the water full blast and placed the bag on the washboard. As he scrubbed the bag with a green bar of laundry soap, tears streamed down his face. His thigh hurt so much that it was hard to sit properly. He felt so pitiful. He wanted to know what he had done wrong, what sin he had committed to deserve such a hard life.“I want to die….”It was a thought he had more than a hundred times a day. Then a face would immediately follow. A hunched back and a wrinkled face. Grandma, who sacrificed everything for him as if he were her whole world. My grandma.“Hic….”He couldn’t die and leave Grandma behind. That’s why he was still alive. When Grandma passed away, he planned to end his life without any regrets. He just had to hold on until then.“Ah….”A dull pain rose from his ribs. The thought of going back to school tomorrow made everything seem dark. Yeonwoo covered his eyes with the back of his hand and cried hot tears for a long time.Grandma. Should we just die together…? He even had such wicked thoughts.***“Yeonwoo, did you find the money?”As soon as he arrived at school, Doyoung approached him. Seeing Jaeyul looking at him with a sly smile from behind, it seemed they had planned something fun again. Yeonwoo slowly shook his head.“I knew you would, so I found it.”“…What?”“I felt so sorry for you that I took a round in the bathroom and found it.”Knowing it was a lie, Yeonwoo still looked up. Doyoung, sitting on Yeonwoo’s desk, gently shook something in his hand. It was four ten-thousand-won bills, the same amount of money he had lost yesterday.“Thank you, thank you.”He had long since abandoned his pride. Yeonwoo quickly reached out his hand.“I can’t give it to you for free.”“……”“Do you know how hard I worked to find this? You can’t just take it shamelessly.”“……”“Right?”The bills fluttered in front of his eyes. He didn’t know why they were making such unreasonable demands when it was his money in the first place, but he had come too far to understand them. Yeonwoo clenched his fist tightly under the desk.“What do I have to do?”“What can you do?”“……”“I’m kidding.”This time, laughter erupted from behind. It was the kind of voice that gave him goosebumps just hearing it. Among them, Doyoung, who was the lowest in rank, tended to overdo it to please them. When Jaeyul burst into laughter, Doyoung, satisfied, lifted his chin and commanded.“Crawl between my legs.”“…What?”“If you crawl between my legs, I’ll give you the money.”Laughter erupted again from behind at Doyoung’s words. Yeonwoo gritted his teeth. He had long since abandoned his pride, but this was too much. Forty thousand won. It was a pitiful amount to receive for giving up his humanity, but Yeonwoo desperately needed it.“…Okay.”He just had to crawl once and get the money. He had been a punching bag all day, so there was nothing he couldn’t do. Yeonwoo quickly blinked and stood up. Doyoung, looking a bit flustered, glanced at Jaeyul’s group, who gestured for him to continue as if they were having the time of their lives.“Crawl like a dog.”“……”“No, like the cockroaches in your house.”“Ah, damn it, don’t talk about that!”From afar, Jinwoo shouted loudly. He was the one who had cried at the sight of a cockroach crawling out from under the washing machine when they were eight. No matter what they talked about, Yeonwoo acted as if he couldn’t hear anything and slowly lowered his body. He knelt in front of Doyoung, who stood with his legs spread wide.“Wow…. Yeonwoo really has no pride.”He heard Jaeyul’s mocking voice from behind. He thought he could handle it, but it was much more humiliating than he had expected. He tightly closed his eyes and placed his palms on the floor. He thought of Grandma’s wrinkled hands taking out the wad of cash tied with a yellow rubber band from the drawer. The blue bills, the bland kimchi stew with no meat, and Grandma’s clothes with the torn sleeves rolled up.“Everyone, take your seats.”I should have done it faster. I should have crawled right away. The act was interrupted before he could even get the forty thousand won back. The homeroom teacher had entered through the front door. He was the oldest bystander in this place. The teacher, who didn’t stop Doyoung and Yeonwoo even when he saw them, tapped the podium with a stick. Doyoung, looking disappointed, clicked his tongue and returned to his seat.“A transfer student has arrived.”Yeonwoo got up a bit late. The kids, used to this kind of bullying, didn’t even look at Yeonwoo, but one gaze stuck to him persistently. It was the transfer student. Yeonwoo’s earlobes turned bright red. Of all times, of all times….“He came from Seoul, and his name is Choi Sungwoon.”Sungwoon, whom he glanced at, was very tall. Yeonwoo couldn’t bring himself to look at him any longer and lowered his head.“Get along well. Don’t bully him.”The homeroom teacher, who didn’t even give the transfer student a chance to introduce himself, left the classroom with only a stick, which was like his alter ego. Sungwoon was assigned to the last seat in the first row. As he passed by, Yeonwoo instinctively closed his eyes. He felt naked in front of a stranger.“Yeonwoo, continue what you were doing.”As soon as the homeroom teacher left, Doyoung approached. A moment ago, he regretted not doing it faster, but now he somehow couldn’t bring himself to crawl between his legs like a dog. The new eyes bothered him. Yeonwoo clasped his hands together under the desk and lowered his head.“What? Are you not going to do it?”Doyoung growled with a menacing face. He couldn’t disappoint Jaeyul’s gang, who were watching with eager eyes from behind.“What? Are you shy because of the transfer student?”Someone mocked from behind.“Are you going to do it or not? Don’t waste time, you bastard.”Doyoung’s words grew harsher. He pressed his finger against Yeonwoo’s temple, urging him to act. Yeonwoo swallowed dryly, hoping someone would intervene. He knew better than anyone that it was a futile hope.“What? Is it really because of the transfer student?”The sound of a chair scraping the floor was heard. Jaeyul seemed to have stood up. Yeonwoo bit his trembling lips. If Jaeyul got involved, it wouldn’t end with just crawling between Doyoung’s legs. He had to decide quickly.“Yeonwoo, you’re getting bolder.”Step by step, the sound of his approach grew closer. Yeonwoo’s lip-biting quickened. The soft flesh was crushed between his teeth. It wasn’t about the forty thousand won anymore. He couldn’t afford to provoke Jaeyul. He needed to get up and say he would do it right away, but his body remained frozen.“Ah…!”A hand as big as a pot lid struck the back of Yeonwoo’s head. His head slammed into the desk, pressing his nose. Yeonwoo touched his nose with the back of his hand to check for blood. Fortunately, it was fine.“Why are you acting up all of a sudden? You’ll end up crawling in front of the transfer student anyway, you bastard.”Jaeyul grabbed Yeonwoo’s hair and pulled him up. In a ridiculous position, half-leaning backward, Yeonwoo hurriedly spoke.“I-I’ll do it. I’ll do it…!”He was right. There was no need to worry about the new bystander. Jaeyul let go of his hair with a sly smile. Yeonwoo, who had been half-floating in the air, fell to the floor. Doyoung spread his legs wide and pressed the video recording button on his phone.Yeonwoo tightly closed his eyes. Just like before, he knelt and placed his palms on the floor. His body trembled like a leaf. It would only take a few seconds. Just a few seconds.He fixed his gaze on the uneven wooden floor. He lifted his trembling palm. It was the first step toward Doyoung’s legs.“Why do you keep calling him the transfer student when he has a name?”A new voice interrupted just as he placed his palm a little ahead. Everyone’s attention turned to him, but Yeonwoo’s gaze remained fixed on the floor.“Calling him the transfer student feels territorial and unpleasant.”The transfer student, Sungwoon, crossed his arms and leisurely smiled as he provoked Jaeyul. Jaeyul’s eyebrows shot up as he took over the seat of the boy who had been sitting behind Yeonwoo. For a moment, Yeonwoo deluded himself into thinking Sungwoon was helping him. He wondered if he was a savior rather than a bystander or accomplice.“Call him by his name from now on.”It was a delusion. Sungwoon spoke in a relaxed voice, as if singing, and left the classroom through the back door. The classroom was instantly enveloped in silence.“That bastard….”He heard someone cursing from behind. Yeonwoo, still in a crawling position, sighed. It was over. He thought it was over.“Ah….”A hand flew to the back of his head as if waiting. Before he could even feel the pain, he was kicked in the stomach. Yeonwoo, who had fallen to the side, coughed painfully.“Yeonwoo, damn it, Yeonwoo.”Jaeyul, who rarely got excited, was now fuming. He seemed unable to contain his anger at the first provocation he had ever experienced.“I told you to listen, damn it, huh?”Jaeyul, having lost his temper, stomped on Yeonwoo’s stomach. The pain of his ribs breaking made Yeonwoo curl up like a shrimp.“Ugh….”“You bastard. You don’t listen, so I get pissed off. Huh?”Jaeyul seemed completely insane. His eyes gleamed with madness. Doyoung, who was filming with his camera, and Jaewook and Jinwoo, who were watching from behind, just stared with wide eyes, unable to think of stopping him. A groan escaped from between Yeonwoo’s teeth. His stomach hurt so much that when he tried to block it with his arms, he felt a pain in his forearm as if it would break. He didn’t know what to do. Everything went dark, and he was scared. What if he died like this? The instinctive fear even took his breath away.“What are you looking at? Damn it.”The merciless beating stopped. Jaeyul, panting heavily, growled at someone. Only then did Yeonwoo cough roughly and clutch his stomach with his arms. It hurt so much he thought he might die. He couldn’t even cry.The target of Jaeyul’s curses was none other than Sungwoon. Having gone out the back door and come in through the front, he tilted his head and looked down at Yeonwoo, who was lying on the floor.“If you don’t want to get beaten too, just get lost. Damn bastard.”Jaeyul, excited, panted like a beast. Sungwoon, who had briefly looked at him, slowly nodded and moved. His foot brushed past Yeonwoo, who was curled up like a shrimp. Yeonwoo groaned in pain. He wished Sungwoon would walk by a little more slowly. That was the only hope Yeonwoo could have.Bang-“Ah!”A familiar sound of friction was heard. Yeonwoo, who naturally thought he had been hit, curled up to reduce the pain, but there was no new pain.“No… damn it.”When he lowered his arm from his face, the first thing he saw was Sungwoon standing in front of him. Jaeyul, who had originally been there, was lying on the floor a little distance away. Yeonwoo’s eyes widened.“I told you to call me by my name. Right?”Only then did Yeonwoo properly see Sungwoon’s face. The smile on his white face was so pure that it was hard to believe he was the one who had kicked Jaeyul.Jaeyul, who had propped himself up on the floor with his hand, looked up at Sungwoon with a bewildered expression. He had never been in such a low position before and couldn’t believe what had just happened.“The transfer student is annoying, but the damn bastard is even more so.”Sungwoon smiled prettily, his eyes crinkling. Having kicked Jaeyul, he clapped his hands and leisurely returned to his seat. The bell for the first period rang. Jaeyul and Yeonwoo got up from the floor almost simultaneously. Yeonwoo, who had pulled out his chair and sat down, was busy hiding the sound of his wildly beating heart. His back was drenched in cold sweat, but he was too shocked by the fact that Jaeyul had been beaten by someone to think straight.Throughout the first period, Jaeyul bit his nails and glared ahead. He was someone who could fight, but he realized that Sungwoon was not someone he could beat. He had understood when he was knocked back by Sungwoon’s kick. Those in ambiguous positions instinctively recognize those stronger than themselves. Sungwoon was stronger than him. He knew that. It was just… his pride was too hurt.Fourth period. Sungwoon was calm, as if there had never been any commotion. During breaks, he listened to music with his earphones and slept on his desk, and during class, he studied diligently with bright eyes. Yeonwoo managed to avoid getting hit until lunchtime. Sungwoon had taken all of Jaeyul’s gang’s attention.“Yeonwoo seems to have an appetite.”But he couldn’t avoid it until lunchtime. Realizing a bit late that Sungwoon had no intention of paying him any more attention, Jaeyul approached Yeonwoo as soon as lunchtime arrived. Yeonwoo hadn’t done anything wrong, but Jaeyul’s pride was hurt from being beaten in front of his punching bag, Yeonwoo. Jaewook, Doyoung, and Jinwoo followed Jaeyul like a set.Yeonwoo looked down at the tray neatly placed on his desk. Miso soup with two pieces of tofu floating, millet rice, stir-fried oyster mushrooms, spicy pork, and radish kimchi. That was today’s menu.“I don’t have an appetite.”Jinwoo’s thick phlegm mixed into the miso soup. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten soup. Yeonwoo clenched his fists and stared blankly at the miso soup with white foam.The rice, mixed with yellow millet, quickly turned black. Doyoung, who had disassembled a pen, poured the ink onto the rice. Yeonwoo, with his head down, bit his lips. He was more anxious about when a hand would fly to the back of his head than the increasingly shapeless meal.“I can’t eat because the smell from your body is disgusting.”Jaeyul, sitting right in front of Yeonwoo, grabbed his chin. Yeonwoo, whose chin was forcibly lifted, quickly averted his eyes to avoid meeting his gaze. Someone snickered.“Yeonwoo, ah-”Jaewook took it a step further. After mixing the black ink and rice evenly, he scooped a large spoonful and brought it to Yeonwoo’s mouth. Yeonwoo, who slightly furrowed his brows, kept his mouth tightly shut. Jaeyul’s grip on his chin tightened.“Look at him resisting.”“…Ugh.”Jaeyul pressed Yeonwoo’s cheek with his hand. His cheek caved in, forcing his mouth open. Before he could resist, Jaewook’s spoon invaded his mouth. Yeonwoo had never tasted ink before, but it wasn’t particularly special. As he gagged, Jaeyul covered his mouth to prevent him from spitting it out.“People often say you lack awareness, don’t they?”As Yeonwoo barely managed to swallow the rice mixed with black ink, a now somewhat familiar voice came from behind. It was Sungwoon’s voice, who was clearly not an accomplice, though it was uncertain if he was a bystander or a savior.“Why are you picking a fight again… damn.”Jaeyul seemed somewhat timid. He swallowed half of the curse he was about to spit out. Jaewook, who had been enthusiastically stabbing the black rice with his spoon, sensed the tense atmosphere and took a step back.“Ink… isn’t something people should eat.”Sungwoon picked up the spoon Jaewook had dropped. Then, just like Jaewook, he scooped a spoonful of rice mixed with ink. Yeonwoo instinctively clenched his tightly shut mouth. If he ate it again, he felt he would really throw up.“If you’re curious about the taste, why don’t you eat it yourself instead of giving it to others?”“Ugh…!”It happened in an instant. Sungwoon grabbed the back of Jaewook’s head and forcibly shoved the spoon into his mouth. Jaewook, who had the disgusting rice in his mouth without a chance to turn his head, belatedly pushed Sungwoon away, but he didn’t budge. Jaeyul, too, only glared at Sungwoon with sharp eyes, not intervening or stopping him. He had judged that Sungwoon was not someone he could beat.“Anyone else curious about the taste of ink?”Sungwoon, who had pushed Jaewook away as if throwing him, looked around. Jinwoo and Doyoung took a step back from him. Sungwoon seemed calm on the surface but also looked completely insane. Yeonwoo, caught in between, trembled and couldn’t even lift his head properly. The strange taste of ink lingered on his tongue.“Seems like no one else is.”Sungwoon, who had blandly put down the spoon, glanced at Yeonwoo’s tray and then looked up again.“Who spat in the soup?”“……”The classroom fell silent for a moment. Jaeyul’s fiercely glaring eyes trembled. The sound of Yeonwoo’s teeth chattering in fear was heard.“Was it you?”“Ah!”There was no time to intervene. Sungwoon picked up the tray and dumped it on Jinwoo’s face. In an instant, Jinwoo’s face, covered in miso soup mixed with phlegm and red spicy pork, turned bright red.After a moment of being stunned, Jinwoo, with a mushroom dangling from his bangs, threw it off and charged at Sungwoon, shouting, “You damn bastard!”“Ugh….”Of course, it was Jinwoo who ended up on the floor. Sungwoon, who had punched Jinwoo in the cheek, lightly shook his wrist and looked down at Yeonwoo. Yeonwoo, pale, clutched his hands under the desk and trembled. Seeing his thin shoulders shaking up and down, Sungwoon let out a laugh as if he couldn’t believe it.“Hey.”“……”“Hey.”“…Yes….”His voice trembled endlessly. Sungwoon grabbed Yeonwoo’s forearm and pulled him up. The still-healing bruised skin pressed, sending a sharp pain through him. As Yeonwoo trembled, Sungwoon, looking surprised, furrowed one brow and then gently let go of his forearm.“Let’s go.”“…What?”“I said, let’s go.”“……”“From now on, you’re eating with me.”This time, Sungwoon grabbed Yeonwoo’s wrist instead of his forearm. Yeonwoo, as if mesmerized by the pulling force, stood up. Jaeyul’s fierce glare from the front was terrifying, but there was no other choice. He knew what would happen if he stayed alone, so he followed Sungwoon, walking slowly.“Do you like that bread?”“……”Sitting on the first row of the stadium stands, Sungwoon looked at the bread in Yeonwoo’s hand and laughed helplessly. The round, black bread wrapper was decorated with a cartoon character popular among young children these days.“No… it’s just….”This was what he grabbed. He had never been to the snack shop, so he had no idea which bread was good. Yeonwoo crinkled the bread bag in his hand and glanced sideways at Sungwoon.“This is the really good stuff.”In his hand was a bread that Yeonwoo was familiar with. A small round bread dusted with sugar. My grandma loves this. He thought this to himself without daring to say it out loud.“Aren’t you going to eat?”“…I will.”No matter how kind Sungwoon was to him, Yeonwoo couldn’t help but be afraid of him after witnessing his violence. He didn’t have an appetite, but he tore open the bread bag hurriedly, fearing that Sungwoon might hit him like he did to Jinwoo earlier. He didn’t realize it was chocolate-flavored. The rich chocolate smell hit his nose. He felt like gagging but forced himself to take a bite.“Hey.”“……”“Don’t force yourself.”Somehow knowing, Sungwoon took the bread out of Yeonwoo’s hand. Thinking he was about to be hit, Yeonwoo flinched and then spat all the bread in his mouth into the gutter. Though he wasn’t actually throwing up, it sounded like he was.“Why do you just take the hits without fighting back? Like an idiot.”“……”“Just hit back.”“……”Sungwoon, who had put a whole round bread in his mouth, advised. Yeonwoo kept his head down and said nothing. It was impossible. They were more in number, and each one was physically bigger than him. Advice from someone who knew nothing wasn’t welcome.“If you think you can’t win, use something like a chair. Throw it.”“……”“Or come out to the playground like this and take some sand. Throw it hard.”“……”“Throw it in their eyes and kick them in the groin at that moment.”A sweet scent came from Sungwoon’s mouth as he muttered. Yeonwoo slowly lifted his bowed head. At that moment, a sweet sugar taste spread in his mouth.“Tastes good, right?”Sungwoon smiled, his eyes crinkling. The round bread rolled on Yeonwoo’s tongue. He nodded slowly, unable to chew or swallow the bread.Sitting in the first row of the playground stands, they shared bread. Sungwoon suggested they go back inside together after lunch to make sure Yeonwoo wouldn’t get hit, and he didn’t leave his side until school ended. He didn’t try to act any closer than that, but it was enough. Jaeyul’s gang, completely overwhelmed by Sungwoon, didn’t bully him further. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, Yeonwoo would have to wait and see. His day wouldn’t end today.⟡˖ ࣪“Grandma. Let’s go buy clothes tomorrow.”“Do you need new clothes, dear?”“No…. Clothes for you, Grandma.”Tonight’s dinner was bachelor radish kimchi and dried fish cake stir-fry that Grandma had gotten from church, along with rice. Yeonwoo spoke as he poured water into his rice and nearly drank it. Grandma looked at her own appearance at Yeonwoo’s words. The sleeve had been torn and hastily tied with a yellow rubber band, which seemed to bother her. A smile spread in her wrinkled eyes.“Grandma’s fine.”“No. Stop wearing that clothes now.”“This is the most comfortable.”Having traveled all over the country since she was young and gone through unnecessary hardships, Grandma spoke in a strange dialect that was unidentifiable. Knowing that he was the cause of her suffering, Yeonwoo looked at her torn sleeve and gulped down the water in his bowl.“…Is it because we don’t have money?”“Who said that? Grandma has money.”“Then let’s go buy clothes together tomorrow. It’s Saturday.”“Grandma has work tomorrow.”She tried to change the subject. She had less than a hundred thousand won. Living on basic welfare and daily necessities from the church, new clothes were a luxury. Glancing at Grandma, who was watching his reactions, Yeonwoo put down his spoon and spoke firmly.“I have money. I’ll buy it for you, so let’s go together tomorrow.”Even without money to buy new clothes, Grandma always managed to give Yeonwoo his allowance. Despite the pain that kept her up at night from her bent back, she diligently collected waste paper from early dawn. How much could that possibly earn? His nose tingled. It would be nice if he could help Grandma by getting a part-time job, but in their rural town, which mostly operated family businesses, no one would hire a minor. There wasn’t even a flyer-posting part-time job that was supposedly common in Seoul. Yeonwoo cleaned up the table with a dull sound.“Don’t go to work tomorrow morning. Go with me when I wake up.”He turned on the sink water immediately, not giving Grandma a chance to answer. Water splashed on his face, reflected in the curved spoon, but he diligently did the dishes without minding. He had nowhere to spend his allowance anyway. No friends to hang out with, nowhere to go. His stomach hurt so much from being beaten earlier, but fortunately, he could hide it from Grandma.