MHA: Bat to the Future: The Other Midoriya

Daily Meme

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Midnight walked around the desk, stopping beside me. Her hand trailed lightly down my forearm before she leaned against the desk, crossing one leg over the other.

"Alright," she said. "Let's start with something simple. What do you know about foreplay?"

I scoffed. "Not hard to figure out. Get her in the mood, make sure she enjoys it."

She smirked. "That is the general idea. But details, Midoriya. Tell me specifics."

I glanced at her. "You are really making me say it?"

She laughed, tapping a finger against my shoulder. "Oh, don't get shy now. You are the one who wanted to skip the lecture and jump to the good part."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Kissing, touching, teasing… build anticipation."

She hummed. "Good. And?"

I shrugged. "Pay attention to her reactions. Adjust. Don't do the same thing over and over like a clueless idiot."

Her nails skimmed over my wrist. "Very good. And what about pacing?"

I exhaled. "Depends on the person. Some like it slow, some like it rough."

Midnight tilted her head. "And how do you know which one?"

I leaned back slightly. "Observation. Trial and error."

Her smile widened. "Exactly." She straightened. "You are not as hopeless as I expected."

I smirked. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

She chuckled. "Let's call it... a passing grade."

Her fingers brushed my collarbone. "Now, let's talk about aftercare."

I blinked. "What about it?"

She tapped my chest lightly. "Most guys your age don't even think about it. They just roll over and pass out. But that is not how you build a good experience."

I crossed my arms. "Alright. What is your take?"

Midnight leaned in slightly. "Aftercare is about making sure she is comfortable. Checking in. Physical and emotional comfort. Some need reassurance, some just want a moment to breathe."

I nodded. "Simple enough."

She smirked. "Simple, but necessary. And last thing… communication. What is the one thing you should always do?"

"Ask," I said immediately. "No assumptions."

She smiled. "Good boy."

I scoffed. "Do not say that again."

She chuckled, fingers tracing along my arm. "Experience is talking here, boy."

I got up, grabbing her chin lightly. "Nemuri, I can smell your virginity from outside of school. You are all tease, no bite. So skip the 'I know shit' act and give me the condoms and pills, so I can move on."

Her smirk didn't falter, but her grip on my wrist tightened just slightly, nails pressing in. "Oh? You think that is all there is to it?" She let go, circling around me. "That little mouth of yours is dangerous, Ryuu. You sure you are ready for the consequences?"

I scoffed. "Spare me. You think I am some clueless idiot who doesn't know how to put A into B? I am not looking for a lecture, just the tools to handle my business."

Midnight hummed, reaching into her desk drawer and pulling out a small box, tossing it toward me. "Fine. There. But let's see if you are as prepared as you think you are."

I caught it, tossing it in my palm. "What, you gonna quiz me?"

She leaned against the desk. "Not a quiz. A lesson."

I groaned. "I do not need one."

She tilted her head. "Humor me." She reached forward, snatching the box back from my hand before I could react. "If you do not need a lesson, then tell me… when is the best time for contraception to be taken?"

I rolled my eyes. "Beforehand, obviously."

She nodded. "Good. And how long does it take for a pill to become effective?"

I exhaled. "Depends. Some work immediately, some take a week. Emergency ones work differently."

Midnight gave an approving nod. "Okay. Now, tell me- what is the number one reason condoms fail?"

I clicked my tongue. "Wrong size, improper use, or damage before use. Friction, storage issues, or just people being idiots."

She smirked. "Not bad. And after?"

I raised a brow. "After what?"

Her grin widened. "After the fun is over, genius. What do you do?"

I stared at her. "Is this really necessary?"

She held up the box. "You want these back or not?"

I sighed. "Check for damage, dispose properly, clean up. And if it is a pill situation, keep track of doses."

She tossed the box back to me. "Good. You pass. Barely."

I got up, popped the box open, and tossed the condoms back onto her desk. Midnight arched a brow, smirking. "What? Like bareback?"

I shot back without missing a beat, "No, that is the number one reason condoms fail. Wanna test my size?"

She blinked, then let out a low laugh. "Oh, that is bold."

I leaned against the desk. "You hesitated. What, never had a student challenge you before?"

Midnight tapped a finger against her lips, pretending to think. "Oh, plenty have. But not many with your… confidence."

I snorted. "More like common sense. You act like you know everything, but let's be real- you are as inexperienced as Izuku."

She tilted her head, watching me like she was deciding something. Then she grinned. "You would be surprised."

I flipped the box over in my hands. "Then put your money where your mouth is."

She chuckled. "And what, let a student prove me wrong?"

"Nah, that would require you actually having experience."

Her eyes narrowed, but the smirk stayed. "Careful, Ryuu. You might just get what you are asking for."

I stepped closer. "And you might just find out you are not as good as you think."

Her fingers traced the edge of the table, "You sure you wanna push this?"

I tapped the desk. "Why? Scared you will fold?"

"You are enjoying this way too much."

I shrugged. "You brought it up. You wanted to 'educate' me, right? So what is the problem?"

"Fine. Lesson is over. But you better not come crying to me if you mess up."

I pocketed the box. "Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself… your game is getting sloppy."

Midnight laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, Ryuu, you are gonna be a nightmare for some poor girl."

I headed for the door. "Already am."

As I walked out, she called after me. "Try not to fry the detectors again, lover boy!"

I flipped her off without turning around.

I sent the box to my inventory. Couldn't risk Aizawa spotting it and adding 'school orgy coordinator' to my disciplinary file. I stormed toward Nezu's office, shoving the door open without knocking. The rat was behind his desk, sipping tea like he hadn't just been caught red-handed running a goddamn dystopian science experiment.

"You disgusting vermin. Horny detectors? What is next, bonk doggies waiting at the doors?"

Nezu tilted his head, unbothered. "Ryuu, how nice of you to visit."

I pointed at him. "No, you do not get to act like this is normal. You have a system tracking when students get too excited? What kind of Orwellian pervert shit is this?"

He chuckled. "Oh, it is nothing so extreme. The hormone detectors merely measure elevated biological activity."

I blinked. "Oh, so now it is biology? My ass. You are just trying to justify being a degenerate with a PhD."

Nezu set his cup down. "If you must know, the system was implemented as a precautionary measure."

"Precaution against what? People getting laid?"

Nezu's eyes gleamed like he was actually enjoying this. "Not exactly. More like… monitoring stress levels and emotional spikes that could affect performance."

It dawned on me suddenly, "Oh. Traitors, school shooters, suicides and all cannot be hid from these. I see, I see. I don't say I condone, but it kinda makes sense."

Nezu hummed, eyes watching me like he was waiting to see where I would go with that. "Also, to prevent unwanted pregnancies. This is still a school full of hormonal teenagers."

I sighed, rubbing my temple. "Yeah, that too, huh?"

"You disapprove?"

I exhaled, sitting down without asking. "I mean, if you are asking if I like the idea of my hormones being monitored like some kind of experimental rat, and yes, pun intended, no. If you are asking if it makes sense? Yeah, it does. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Nezu sipped his tea, ears flicking. "A rational response."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "Still creepy as hell." I leaned back. "So what, do you get an alert every time someone gets a little too into their workout?"

Nezu grinned, tilting his head like he had just thought of something fun. "Wanna see the one near Mineta's room? We eventually replaced it with a stronger one after he fried the previous on his first day."

I recoiled. "Fuck no. Eww."

Nezu chuckled, setting his teacup down. "Oh, but it was quite the anomaly. Most students barely register on the system, but Mineta? An outlier in every sense of the word."

I waved a hand. "Yeah, I don't need a play-by-play of that sicko's biology. The fact that this conversation is happening at all is already a problem."

Nezu nodded like he wasn't the problem. "Well, consider yourself informed."

I rolled my shoulders. "Great. Now I can sleep soundly knowing a rodent is tracking my testosterone levels."

Nezu sipped his tea. "It is all in the name of education, of course."

"Yeah, yeah, creep."

Nezu exhaled, setting his teacup down. "What do you feel about your recent placement in the Hero Rankings?"

I shrugged. "I was annoyed at first, but meh. It was bound to happen."

Nezu chuckled. "A rather nonchalant response for someone who has managed to break records."

I leaned back, stretching my arms. "What do you want me to say? 'Oh no, my life is ruined'? Not like I asked for this."

Nezu tilted his head. "But you must have expected it, given your... activities."

I sighed. "Yeah, figured it would happen eventually. Just thought I had more time before people started making a big deal out of it."

Nezu nodded. "People will always talk, especially when a student places among pros. Some see it as impressive. Others as a problem."

I smirked. "Oh no. How tragic. The old guard is upset their rankings aren't just an old man's club anymore."

"Indeed," Nezu mused. "Though it is not just them. The Hero Commission is... concerned."

I snorted. "Bet they are. They can't control me like their usual prospects."

Nezu simply sipped his tea. "That does seem to be the issue."

I stood up, cracking my neck. "Not my problem. If they want me to play their game, they should have sent a bribe. I don't know… money, threats, or at least a fruit basket that doesn't taste like commission pussy they are."

Nezu chuckled. "I doubt they will be so accommodating."

I headed for the door. "Yeah, well, they can suck it."

–

I walked back to the dorms, skipping the rest of the training. No point sticking around when I was basically banned from participating. Aizawa made it sound like a punishment, but I wasn't complaining. More free time for me.

As I passed through the halls, I noticed them.

The horny detectors.

Small, inconspicuous little devices tucked near the corners of the ceiling. Most students probably never even noticed them, but now that I knew they were there, they stood out like a sore thumb.

I sighed. "Fucking rat."

I could ignore them. Pretend I didn't know.

Or…

I grinned.

This was too easy.

All I had to do was close my eyes, focus, and imagine. I adjusted my "horniness" levels, spiking and dropping them to send out a message. Morse code.

F-U-C-K Y-O-U.

One of the detectors flickered. Another beeped, barely audible. I kept going, just to be sure he got the message. I might've typo'ed somewhere in my imagination, but whatever. He would get the gist.

Somewhere in the school, I imagined Nezu sitting in his office, sipping tea, watching the readings spike in erratic, nonsensical patterns before spelling out a very clear FUCK YOU.

Maybe he would appreciate the effort. Maybe he would be pissed. Either way, I didn't care. I shoved my hands in my pockets and kept walking.

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