Memorize

"Do you… dislike me?"

"…"

Her words were short but heavy with meaning. A single wrong response could tip the scales, and I couldn't answer rashly. I'd already made a mistake. The water had spilled—no, it was still spilling.

My mind, my rationality, urged me to stop now. To embrace her quickly. But that unfamiliar emotion budding in a corner of my heart was holding me back.

Seeing my hesitation, a bitter expression flickered across Yeon-Joo's face. Before I could say anything, she took a step back, her voice laden with hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"Player Yeon-Joo…"

"As a player—no, as a person—I wanted to be held by you, even just once. Watching you with her last night solidified that feeling. I was just… jealous."

"…"

"But I guess I was too full of myself. I must have been mistaken all this time. Of course, you'd dislike me. A woman who seems so easy like me… wouldn't be to your taste. I understand."

After saying this, Yeon-Joo held up my Glory of Sun with both hands, likely intending to return it. As she extended it toward me, a sudden realization hit: this was my last chance. The final moment to salvage my relationship with her. Reflexively, I shouted.

"That's not it!"

Her outstretched hands froze at my strained outburst. Seeing this, I let out a shaky breath. The sound of my ragged breathing filled the air, and Yeon-Joo gazed at me with quiet eyes. She waited for my breathing to calm before speaking in a low, soft voice.

"Then…?"

The relationship, teetering on the edge, paused for a moment. I had barely caught the spilling bottle, saving just a little of what remained. Her words still held a sliver of possibility. I wet my dry lips with my tongue and thought. My conclusion was to be honest with my feelings right now. To set aside the year 10 veteran player Kim Su-Hyeon and speak to her as the Kim Su-Hyeon who had started anew in this second life. To face the unfamiliar emotions churning in my chest head-on.

And now, I felt a quiet courage rising within me. I didn't want regrets. Even if I ended up with regrets, I wanted to say everything I needed to. That way, I wouldn't be tormented by the suffocating weight in my chest. As my breathing steadied, I spoke in a calm voice.

"I also have feelings for you. When I said before that I almost fell for you, that wasn't a lie. Yeon-Joo, to me, you're an incredibly charming player, person, and woman."

"Liar. Then… Why did you pull away?"

"It's not a lie. It's just…"

"Just?"

I closed my mouth, pausing for a moment. Yeon-Joo's eyes were as calm as before, but now they held an anxious, almost pleading look. To answer her waiting gaze, I opened my mouth again, speaking as the year 0 player Kim Su-Hyeon.

"The moment I was about to embrace you, Ha-Yeong came to mind."

"Player Ha-Yeong…?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know."

Yeon-Joo asked quickly, and I answered just as fast. Seeing her expression shift subtly, I raised my right hand to my chest. Feeling the strong beat of my heart through my palm, I continued.

"I don't know what this feeling is. Sometimes, when I think of her, my heart races, and a corner of my chest feels warm. I don't know love well enough to call it that with certainty. But the moment I was about to hold you, this feeling grabbed me by the throat. I want to hold you even now. But I'm afraid. Afraid that giving in to a moment's desire might deeply hurt both women…"

As Yeon-Joo's eyes widened, I felt my face flush with heat. I'd spoken as a year 0 player, but the experience of my year 10 self lingered. I understood how empty my words might sound to her. Yet, my heart felt lighter.

In that moment—

"Pfft."

Yeon-Joo let out a small laugh. I'd half-expected it, but the embarrassment still hit me hard. She tried to stifle her laughter, but faint giggles slipped through. I didn't worry anymore, though. I could see her, no longer holding the Glory of Sun—which had fallen to the floor—covering her mouth as she laughed.

"So it wasn't that misunderstanding, but this one. Geez, I got the wrong idea."

After laughing and letting out a deep sigh, she strode confidently toward me. The hurt on her face was fading, replaced by an inexplicable sense of relief. Seeing her soft, gentle smile—not a bitter one—calmed me a bit. Then, she reached out with both hands, gently cradling my face. The soft, warm touch of her hands made my eyes half-close instinctively.

She continued, stroking my face as if handling something precious.

"Come to think of it, you're a year 0 player, aren't you? Not even six months in."

I nodded slightly in agreement, and her touch felt even more tender, as if she were carefully handling something fragile.

"Your actions so far haven't seemed like those of a year 0 player, so I guess I got the wrong impression. Haha. But it makes sense for a year 0 player to think that way. No, that's normal. You're finally starting to seem human, Su-Hyeon. There's a cute, youthful charm to you too. To think you were wrestling with that."

"…"

"You said you have feelings for me too, right?"

"Yes."

It was an undeniable truth. Even back in the first life, I hadn't felt negatively toward her. In this second life, spending time together had turned that into genuine affection. Confirming the sincerity in my answer, Yeon-Joo grinned and continued.

"I feel the same. When I look at you, I feel forgotten emotions coming back to life. My heart wavers, and I want to lean on you. Call it intuition if you want. There's something certain about you, something I can't quite explain."

The moment I heard Yeon-Joo's words, I realized my mistake. All this time, I'd thought of her as a player like me—a year 5 player, holder of the Secret Class 'Shadow Queen'. I never imagined she'd want to lean on someone, even if she herself was someone others might rely on.

"I think I understand why you're hesitating, Su-Hyeon. But we have feelings for each other. We want each other. In Hall Plain, acting on those feelings isn't something to be criticized. Didn't she tell you something like that?"

"It's not that Ha-Yeong said it exactly… but we did talk about something related."

Suddenly, I felt pathetic. Back then, I'd spoken with such confidence, asking her to trust me, but now here I was, hesitating.

"She's a year 2 player, so she'd know that much. She might feel hurt, but she'd have no choice but to understand. This isn't the modern world—it's Hall Plain, and you're a capable man. Don't look away. Look at me."

At her words, I had no choice but to fix my gaze, which had started to drift. Yeon-Joo gently lifted my chin with the hands cradling my face and continued in a soft voice.

"You don't need to feel guilty. The one who falls first always loses out a bit. Haha. Anyway, out of respect for your feelings, I'll leave the choice to you. But I want you to know one thing."

"Yes."

"As much as she does, I also want to be held in your arms, Player Kim Su-Hyeon."

With that, Yeon-Joo let go of my face and walked to the bed, sitting down. She lightly patted the spot next to her.

Seeing that gesture, I decided I wouldn't hesitate any longer.

Following her lead, I sat beside her, and she gave me a kind smile. She'd brought us this far; now it was my turn to respond. I didn't want to show that vague, wavering side anymore. So this time, I took the lead. Yeon-Joo quietly followed, moving to the edge of the bed.

I shifted in front of her, placing my hands on her shoulders. Sliding my hands further, I moved past her shoulders to her back, pulling her toward me. Earlier, she'd tried to come to me, and I'd pushed her away. Though I explained myself afterward, it must have hurt her deeply. Now, I wanted to heal that wound by embracing her first.

As I finally held Yeon-Joo in my arms, I realized her body was more delicate than I'd expected. Of course, as a woman, that was natural, but I was reminded that even the Shadow Queen didn't always have to be a pillar of strength. Savoring the warmth of her body, I lowered my head slightly, aiming for the spot just below her ear.

"Phew."

When I playfully blew a breath there, her body trembled faintly. She looked up at me, startled, then gave me a coy glance before rising from my embrace. As if in retaliation, she pulled me into her arms with surprising strength. The force was enough to make me collapse onto the bed with her as our distance closed.

Creak.

The bed swayed with a groan. I found myself with my face buried in her chest, her body pressing down on mine.

In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. There was no deeper meaning—just an infinite softness that made me want to close my eyes and drift off. But falling asleep now would be the height of rudeness. To shake off the drowsiness, I gently rubbed my face against her. Through the thin layer of her clothes, a melting softness brushed against my cheek. I'd experienced it a few times before, but Yeon-Joo's chest was notably full.

Her soft laughter came from above, as if I were a child throwing a tantrum. Then, she began to gently cradle my head. I was lost in her touch for a while.

Though delicate, her body wasn't frail. Yeon-Joo had a soft, well-proportioned figure that was pleasing to the eye. As she withdrew her hands and slightly loosened her top, her flushed breasts, unencumbered by undergarments, peeked out. Burying my face there again, I felt the elastic softness directly against my skin, and a hot breath escaped me.

"Geez, you're too obsessed with my chest. You're like a kid."

"Just for a bit…"

"Haha, what am I going to do with you? You're too cute."

Her languid laughter made me feel drowsy. Had she sprinkled something sweet? A sugary scent teased my senses, heightening my excitement with the overt femininity of her fragrance.

We both sat up. If we stayed like that, I might actually fall asleep. But the moment we parted, the empty air rushed in, and we quickly clung to each other tightly again. Feeling her pressed firmly against me, I lowered my head slightly. Through her loosened top, I saw her breasts, swollen from being pressed against my chest. The overwhelming pressure made me acutely aware of the stirring below.

Ha-Yeong's face flashed in my mind again, but this time it faded quickly. Yeon-Joo, as if refusing to let me think of anything else, lifted her outer garment to reveal her thigh. Her full breasts, slender waist, and healthy, slightly plump thighs stoked the already rising desire into a boiling frenzy. Her body had a deadly allure, capable of ensnaring a man's mind and igniting his lust.

But I forcibly suppressed those urges. I wanted to tear her clothes off and ravage her, to see her disheveled. But rather than giving in to animalistic desire, I wanted to take the time to connect emotionally, as I had with Ha-Yeong.

So, I gently ran my fingers through her long hair, from top to bottom. Her silky strands gathered in my hand, then fell neatly into place. Noticing a glint in her eyes, I shifted my gaze elsewhere.

Her collarbone, protruding above her full breasts, and the enticing curve of her neck stole my attention. As if entranced, I brought my lips to her neck. The moment I kissed her skin, I ran my tongue along it, inhaling softly. My lips trailed down her neck to her collarbone, then to the deep valley between her breasts.

I reached for her top, and she raised her arms to make it easier to remove. As I fully peeled it off, her bare upper body came into view. Her flushed, ample breasts, too large to hold in one hand, stood proudly, their nipples asserting their presence.

I cautiously extended my hand, and she leaned slightly toward me, making it easier to touch. Soon, her soft, pliant breasts filled both my hands. Feeling her nipples press against my palms, I trembled with a quiet thrill.

"Chuckle."

As I fondled them, her laughter rang out. I looked up at her face—her delicate features, slender eyebrows, sultry eyes, and small, pretty lips. She wore a faint smile, as if inviting me to do as I pleased. With endless affection in her gaze and touch, Yeon-Joo enveloped me.

Emboldened by her look, I slowly brought my lips to one of her enticing nipples. The moment I took her breast into my mouth, I rolled my tongue over its tip, drawing in a deep breath. The lascivious sound of sucking filled the air, and I felt her embrace tighten around my head.

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