Maybe The Day He Died

I feel like tickling, whats this slimy , wet , tickling I feel Is ???

Fuck and why I'm still alive ? Is God pulling pranks of me First Telling me its my last day then almost drowing me to death and now Killing me just to still be alive what's going on?

And where I'm again i feel like I'm in something moving fast is it an ambulance?No I don't hear any Siren so its a car I think

I don't have energy to even open up my eyes I think I'll sleep for a while too but no no no it's my last Day I can't waste it sleeping, after all After I'm dead all I'm gonna do is sleep or whatever idk but what ik is I

Can't waste any more time ,

I hear a woof , What's that

Am I surrounded by street dogs? Or they thought I'm dead so they preying on my now

I pulled together all the strength and tried to open my eyes a lil I Saw a golden retriever in front of me , Looking at me with his big shiny eyes , with his tongue out of his mouth leaking Saliva but he's cute literally cute . As he saw me he open my eyes he immediately started barking I guess he's informing his master that Hey!! Master the knocked out guy is now conscious again

He rubbed his face against mine I gues he's comforting me Awww dogs are so cute..,...

Then the car stopped and I saw the same old man who helped me get the money in the driving seat.He came to the back seat, helped me get up and said" Hello Kid what's were u doing lying on the road like that? "You aren't supposed to sleep on the road that's not safe not even hygenic ..

Then he helped me sit , gave me some food and helped me in eating something and then he asked me where I'm going He can probally drop me there . I said," I don't know Just drop me anywhere less crowded, more peaceful and something where people goes on their last day " He had a confused look on his face He wanted to ask me something but stopped I don't know why

Then he told me to lie down a lil till we get to our destination. I swear old guys are the best and this old dude is the bestest.I closed my eyes , started thinking about what I'm doing?Why I'm doing all this sacrificing everything trying to die in my own way . Is this even worth it it ?

And the only answer I got is yes It worth more than anything else. I've spent my whole life trying to be what others want me to. To be kinder, wiser , smarter, more mature, more worthy , more adequate Human. But Now I just wana be just me, the person who I really am because If I waste this moment as well then there will be nothing left , nowhere left where I can be me.

11:46am

The car window were open I could feel the fresh air coming in and the Joey ( Golden retriever) been near me I think he's enjoying the view I wana see the view too

I opened my eyes , got up Feeling better than ever and looked outside and To my suprise We were in the mountains. I swear I love the mountains , the fresh breeze, the chimmering of birds , the rivers , the tall tress , cloudy skies , I love everything about mountain.I asked the old man where we headed he told me to just relax and enjoy view this journey holds. I just agreed and let him take me wherever he pleases I just sat on the window seat along the joey , we both sitting with our faces out of looking out at the nature's beauty at it's peak. And It was cold but I swear I never like anything more than the winter. The old man asked me If have a wife or a girlfriend? I Said no but ya there's a girl I'm love with and It's the best thing i ever did for myself I asked the old man to turn on the radio and Fuck they are playing some lame songs And I just couldn't help but vibe on that then I Heard a melody Wait I Know this songIt's.....it's..... It's TAKE CARE by Beach House

I fucking love this song ...

She and I we use to sing it together...It's our favourites ... Then I just sat back again , looking outside ttge car as the song plays, " I saw her ,I saw myself dancing in the snow , running with hand in hand, smiling, laughing , having fun , till we see a beautiful tree with bright leaves and purple flowers and she sat there with me in her lab , running her fingers across my hair , me staring at her, with nothing but just love in my eyes , She said ,"Dumboo Its rude to stare like that Mister"and all I said Is

"I'LL LOOK AT YOU AS LONG AS THERE'S LIGHT IN MY EYES AND EVEN IN DARKNESS THE ONLY THING I SEE IS YOU, YOUR EYES AND YOUR SMILE . ILL LOVE YOU TILL ETERNITY EVEN IF IT COSTS ME MY LIFE, MY BODY OR MY MIND I WILL HAPPILY SACRIFICE EVRYTHING FOR JUST A GLIMPSE OF YOU EVEN MY OWN FREEDOM, JUST TO BE A SALVE OF THOSE ENCHANTING EYES..."

Fuckk I got Nostalgic again. Then the car stopped, old guy said here's your destination kid , I know you will love this place its the most beautifully peaceful place on the entire planet I've ever been to

enjoy ur time here . I use to hate this place but since my wife Marie made her home here it's the only place thats feels like home to me just go up the stairs and u will see the whole beauty of it I get out of the car greeted Oldman for , helping me get the cash , for the food, for taking care of me and for everything he has done for me , he started his car and turned around . I waved my hand and all of the sudden Joey jumped out of the car , came running to me and stared rubbing my legs with her paws The old man asked him to come back but he won't listen "I think he wants to stay with you for a little while longer "He said but I can't Take care of him I would love to but I can't I'm going to di... I'm going to go somewhere and I can't take him with me He said just tell him to go home when u have to leave, he's a clever one he knows where home is, and he will come home safely. I had no choice but to agree to old man , He left Then me and Joey started walking the stairs and on top saw a graveyard not just any graveyard but a beautiful one indeed, it's not spooky but instead peaceful just like the old man said There were lots of beautiful flowers and vintage street lamps and benchs and beautiful gravestone, I took a walk around

The air is so fresh and beautiful, its really beautiful here and Joey he wants me to go somewhere with him.. he ran and stopped near a beautiful gravestone I came there and started reading" Here lie the MARIE Goldberg, pretty, smart and kind. A lovely Wife , A Beautiful Daughter and The Best mother hope You making heaven more and more beautiful with your kindness and tenderness "

Ifelt something, Something broken inside me , it's so idk what to say but its so heartwarming

Why Tears are falling from my eyes ,Why Why Why there's no reason for me to cry for that Oldman's Wife I don't even know her then why . I'm going to Die today I really am going to die Today, there's nothing I can Do about it but just live this day to it's Fullest nd I'll be gone from this world. No mom nd her tasty food, her teasing me, scolding me , slapping me , crying for me , laughing on my actions I can't see any of this tomorrow not even dad , my family, my friend, no more hanging out with Bros cursing evrything ina a sarcastic way , enjoying the lil moment nothing I can do again , I can even remember her , no even Her

I won't have any of this tomorrow They won't have me tomorrow...Why I'm thinking about all this now , I think I should let it all out now cry as much as I can so that I can live the rest of my day free , and happy ..

I cried for a little while, I shouted till My lungs gave up , I cried like a baby longing for her mother I cried like a toddler asking his friends to comeback, I cried like a teenager begging her lover not to leave and thwn I stopped...Took few Deep breaths Hugged joe and lie down on the grass i looked at the trees , the clouds and the sky.. I closed my eyes heard sound of winds , trees , leaves and the nature... I think I should go now to live rest of my day , I would love to Die here in this graveyard but I can't die right now I'll live till I have time, do Everything to live while I can..