Mash-Up: I'm Not A Substitute

"What exactly is your relationship with Takashi?"

The moment Kamiki Hikaru opened his mouth to interrogate her, Hoshino Ai felt a trace of irritation.

Work was already exhausting enough.

And now, coming home only to be faced with her boyfriend's suspicions—who could stand that?

"Haven't I already told you? I have nothing going on with Takashi."

Hoshino Ai was starting to get annoyed with Kamiki Hikaru, but she still forced herself to explain patiently.

"As for what's on the trending searches, it's just garbage written by sleazy media outlets trying to get clicks."

She was in the entertainment industry herself—of course she had noticed the trending topic tonight.

She figured Kamiki Hikaru must've seen that hot search and started overthinking again.

"Then why didn't you clarify it?" Kamiki Hikaru pressed on.

"My manager wouldn't let me," Hoshino Ai replied truthfully.

She had considered posting a clarification, but her suggestion was immediately shot down by Saito Ichigo.

Because in Saito's opinion, a bit of scandal was completely normal for a celebrity.

What celebrity could claim they'd never had a rumor?

Besides, the rumored person was Takashi—currently the hottest name in Koshien. Riding that wave of popularity was not just a freebie—it was a jackpot.

It was just a harmless rumor anyway. If the fans wanted to ship them, let them. She was getting free exposure either way, and a few insults wouldn't kill her.

So why bother clarifying?

Even if she did, would the audience really believe her?

"Heh."

Kamiki Hikaru gave a sarcastic laugh.

There was no mistaking the passive-aggressive tone in it. Hoshino Ai instinctively felt uncomfortable.

"Is it really your manager who wouldn't let you? Or is it that you didn't want to clarify it?"

To Kamiki Hikaru, all of her excuses sounded like just that—excuses.

"You think I can defy my manager's orders?" Hoshino Ai snapped, finally showing a bit of anger.

Did he think she didn't want to clarify it?

It was her manager who wouldn't allow it.

She didn't know how it worked in other countries, but in Japan, managers held absolute authority over their talents.

No matter how big a celebrity you were, you had to obey your manager.

Saito Ichigo forbade her from clearing things up—what else could she do?

Worse yet, she didn't even dare tell Saito Ichigo that she was dating someone.

If he found out that she was in a relationship—with a middle schooler, no less—she didn't even want to imagine how furious he'd be.

One thing was for sure: he wouldn't let Kamiki Hikaru off the hook.

Even though Ichigo Production was just a small agency, Saito Ichigo had extensive connections in the industry. 

Crushing a stage actor still studying with the LALALAI troupe would be child's play.

"Can't you think about my feelings for once?" Kamiki Hikaru suddenly lost control and shouted into the phone.

"I'm your boyfriend."

"Do you know how I felt seeing all those online edits shipping you and Takashi—people supporting that?"

Kamiki Hikaru believed no guy could stay calm after seeing his girlfriend being paired up online with another guy, with fans wholeheartedly cheering for it.

"Hoshino Ai, I'm the one who's actually your boyfriend. It's me you're in a relationship with. So why can Takashi be acknowledged openly, while I can't?"

"Am I really that worthless?"

"Am I not even good enough to be publicly acknowledged by you?"

"Or are you planning to date Kitahara in public while keeping me caged like some pet canary?"

Kamiki Hikaru's emotions exploded. He was practically screaming into the phone.

To him, Hoshino Ai was his one and only emotional anchor.

Calling her the light that had saved his dark world was no exaggeration.

It was precisely because she held such an important place in his heart that the idea of her being taken away pushed him into losing control.

Hoshino Ai took a deep breath, letting the cold air flood her lungs before she finally spoke.

"If I go public about you, I'll never be able to work as an idol again."

Being an idol meant surviving on fan support.

Fans gained encouragement, dreams—even one-sided love—from idols. 

But once an idol's relationship went public, that fantasy bubble popped, and the emotional investment became unrecoverable. 

That's why "no dating" has become an unspoken rule in the idol world—to protect fans' fragile hearts.

Revealing a relationship as an idol was basically career suicide.

No matter how real the rumors between her and Takashi seemed to the public, fake was still fake.

You can't make the fake real.

As long as she didn't admit anything, even if she stayed silent, fans would keep deluding themselves.

"You say I don't consider your feelings—but have you ever considered mine?"

"I don't have the vocal talent to be a singer, nor the acting skills to be an actress, and I'm not especially funny either. If I stop being an idol, what else can I do besides part-time jobs?"

It wasn't that Hoshino Ai loved being an idol.

She'd been tricked and coaxed by Saito Ichigo into signing the contract.

But after becoming an idol, she discovered she actually had a knack for it—she easily drew in fans.

Being an idol didn't earn as much as a singer or actor, but any job taken to the top of the pyramid paid well.

B Komachi wasn't as big as Nogizaka46 or AKB48, but their fanbase was still far larger than most idol groups.

Having tasted the thrill of being adored, Hoshino Ai knew she couldn't just go back to working a normal job.

It was like someone used to fast money—there was no going back.

"If I lose this job, how do I even live? Hikaru, are you going to support me?"

"..."

On the other end of the line, Kamiki Hikaru fell silent for a long time.

Because he was still just a middle schooler.

He believed that someday he'd earn lots and lots of money—but that was in the future.

Right now, he could barely support himself, let alone Hoshino Ai.

"Hikaru, I'm an idol."

"That's the nature of my profession."

"In the future, I might get linked to other celebrities too. If you can't accept that… then let's break up."

Hoshino Ai ended the call after saying that. Then she looked up at the moon in the sky.

The clouds were thin, and the moonlight was faint.

Surrounded by the city, she couldn't see a single star.

Not one.

Clack.

The sound of geta sandals striking pavement made Hoshino Ai turn her head.

To her right stood a girl with long hair wearing a yukata.

The soft moonlight illuminated her snow-white skin.

The breeze lifted her hair, making it dance in the wind.

Bathed in moonlight, the girl looked like the incarnation of a moon goddess—elegant, serene.

Yukinoshita Yukino.

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