Marvelous Mutations

Despite their short acquaintance, Doggo had developed a fondness for Sharon.

She was clearly someone important, she lived here now, her scent lingered in the aisles, and his beloved master hadn't shown any signs of kicking her out. That was enough endorsement.

So, when she came close, Doggo would wag his fat ass, nuzzle her hand, and even pretend to listen when she gave orders.

But there were limits.

And food?

That definitely wasn't up for debate.

If Luke told him to stop, Doggo might pause.

But Sharon?

She didn't carry that kind of authority yet.

So the moment her boot crossed the threshold of the store, Doggo's head had already begun to expand enormously.

His body, however, remained hilariously stubby, giving him the appearance of an overinflated bobblehead waddling on toothpicks.

Even the Chitauri soldier at the edge of the sidewalk blinked in confusion.

He'd read up on Earth's creatures. Thanks to their hive-mind memory-sharing, the Chitauri knew everything there was to know about Earth, so he knew what a "dog" was. Harmless, loyal, mildly intelligent.

What they didn't expect was a fat husky whose skull tripled in size and who charged like a slow-motion bowling ball with teeth.

The soldier tilted his head.

Was this a joke?

But jokes don't exist in war.

So the Chitauri lifted his weapon and fired.

A sharp beam of blue energy lanced through the air and struck Doggo's bulging green forehead… and did absolutely nothing.

Not a single mark, not a burnt patch of fur, not even a twitch.

Doggo blinked, completely unfazed.

The Chitauri hissed and raised his weapon again for a follow-up shot.

But he never got the chance.

From inside the store, a sudden crack of thunder boomed.

"HEY, I SAID THAT ONE'S MINE!" Sharon's voice rang out.

She stepped forward, arm raised, holding Mjölnir sky-high. A surge of lightning burst from the hammer's head with a sharp snap.

The bolt tore through the air and struck the Chitauri directly in the chest.

He convulsed violently, sparks flying from his mechanical limbs as circuits fried and metal cracked.

The Chitauri dropped, lifeless before he could fire again.

A second later, Doggo's short legs exploded with power. His chubby frame launched like a missile as his jaws opened wide.

CRUNCH~.

He bit clean through the cyborg's torso, then, before anyone could react, swallowed the entire soldier whole.

Sharon blinked.

Wanda took a cautious step forward, eyes wide.

"…Did he just… eat him?"

Luke didn't even glance away from his screen. He lazily lifted one hand and wiggled his fingers.

"Yeah. He does that sometimes."

The girls stared at him, then back at Doggo, who was now, impossibly, back to looking like a normal husky.

No distended belly, no gore, no mess. Not even a trace of Chitauri armor.

Wanda squinted, "Where… did it go?"

Sharon looked from Doggo to Luke. "Seriously. That thing was bigger than him. Where is it?"

Luke shrugged. "Don't ask me. I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago."

Still chewing on his lower lip, Doggo sat down and wagged his tail, satisfied.

The two women exchanged glances, then turned their attention to the last possible authority in the vicinity.

Bumblebee.

Still parked outside in car form, the Autobot was silent.

Sharon walked over and tapped the hood.

"Hey, genius robot, how the hell does that work?"

Wanda crossed her arms. "You're the science guy. Explain."

Bumblebee's headlights flickered. The engine sputtered. And then, without a word, the car slowly reversed, putting several feet of distance between him and the conversation.

Farther.

Farther.

Until he was out of their line of sight.

From inside, the car speakers crackled to life with a faint audio clip:

"I saw nothin'... I heard nothin'…"

Luke chuckled from his gaming chair. "Told you. Even Bumblebee doesn't try to explain Doggo anymore. Science tapped out months ago."

He leaned back, pulled on his headphones, and dove right back into his dungeon run.

The screen glowed. Monsters roared.

And somewhere in New York, alien invaders screamed.

But in this little corner of chaos, Luke was at peace.

The safest place in New York?

Probably right here.

…

On the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, Nick Fury stood stiffly, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the main monitor.

A special agent had been assigned to monitor Luke's location.

Fury didn't expect Luke to leap into action right away, he knew the man's personality well enough. Yale didn't fight for the world. He fought for his people.

And when the war reached them?

He'd unleash hell.

At least, that was the theory.

But what Fury didn't expect… was that Luke didn't need to do anything.

The women and the dog had it covered.

More accurately, they were out there actively preventing Luke from needing to lift a finger.

Wanda, Sharon, Doggo, and a sulking alien robot car.

Earth's strangest front line.

Hill's voice cut in. "Sir, another update. Leviathans are coming through the portal."

Fury snapped out of his thoughts, "How many?"

"Eight so far. And more behind them."

He groaned. That was not good.

He tapped his earpiece. "What about Ross's super soldiers?"

Hill glanced at her secondary monitor. "Still patrolling the edges. No movement toward the main conflict."

Fury gritted his teeth. "So they're sightseeing. Fantastic."

"And the grocery store?"

Hill zoomed in. "No movement there either. No hostiles. No bodies."

She paused, squinting. "Actually… it's too clean. Like nothing's even tried to attack it."

Fury frowned. "That close to the epicenter and not a single skirmish?"

Before anyone could answer, Hill gasped and pointed to her screen. "Director! One of the Leviathans just changed direction, it's heading straight for the grocery store!"

…