Living with the Arrogant Queen from High School is Surprisingly Not Uncomfortable

The setting sun was glaringly red, causing me to squint my eyes. I was walking straight on the road, without any disturbance.

Silence flowed between Hayashi and me.

Until now, I had found comfort in this silence. However, now, words were whirling around in my head.

Did I like Kasahara?

Hayashi had indeed asked me that.

What should I answer? I was searching for a response.

“…Because you were definitely acting weird today.”

Hayashi was reproachful, like a child throwing a tantrum.

“You look at Akari and me differently, and although you usually only say sarcastic things, today even that’s been softened, and you can even consider others in your comments!”

Maybe those are things anyone could do. But certainly, by my standards, they were odd.

I wondered what Hayashi must be feeling, having noticed that and raising her voice.

“…So, what is it?”

Hayashi demanded an answer from me.

I thought back. Today, Hayashi hadn’t given me any answers to my questions. That must be connected to now.

…Thoughts were spinning in my head.

Hayashi had said that the people she hated the most were the ones who were fickle.

I felt bad for her, but now, I was searching for evasive words in my mind.

…The decision to speak honestly came just before the last traffic signal in front of my house.

I realized it when I stopped at the red light.

…Surely, surely, it would come out someday. I wouldn’t be able to keep it hidden. To begin with, wanting to hide that feeling itself was strange, wasn’t it?

I think I was a bit confused.

But, when I made up my mind, I didn’t regret the choice I had made.

It was because it was Hayashi, of all people, that I decided to speak.

“…It was the summer of our third year in high school.”

The red signal still hadn’t changed.

Hayashi, standing in front of the signal indicating ‘stop,’ turned only her face towards me.

“I confessed to Kasahara.”

If I close my eyes, I can still remember it.

The scene from that day.

The feelings from that day.

Kasahara’s smile from that day.

It’s a painful memory.

But, as time passed, that memory wasn’t bad anymore. I had started to think that. Maybe that’s why I decided to tell Hayashi about it now.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Eh?”

“I’m sorry. For reminding you of the painful memory of being rejected.”

…There were no words of denial.

In such times, I didn’t know what to say because I lacked life experience.

“…You said it, didn’t you? That I was different today.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not dragging the feelings from that time. Really, it’s not an excuse.”

Why does repeating it make it sound like a lie?

“…But, I guess I was a bit conscious of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“…Still, I’m sorry.”

Now, the reason why Hayashi is showing me a depressed face is…

The guilt of bringing back my memories of heartbreak?

Or indignation that a bug like me was approaching her beloved best friend?

I don’t know the answer.

“I heard words from you that I never expected to hear from your high school self.”

But, I just laughed.

I thought it was out of character for a girl who was called a queen by others to listen to the love affairs of commoners like us and get depressed.

“…You’re actually quite strong, aren’t you?”

“And you, on the other hand, have a surprisingly weak mentality.”

Getting attached to a lover who is subjected to domestic violence, getting depressed like this, the girl named Hayashi, who was called a queen, contrary to that nickname, didn’t have a strong heart, I realized.

I realized it now.

Even though we were in the same class for three years in high school. Even though we studied together.

I came to know this after I graduated high school and reunited with her, all within just one month.

I don’t want you to misunderstand, I don’t feel it’s a waste, or regret about this fact now.

In this long life, to worry and regret over one thing like this, I think it’s a waste to stop moving because of such a thing.

…In other words.

“Change your mindset.”

Hayashi muttered.

“Did those words come out because of your relationship with Akari?”

“What do you think?”

“…Just answer me.”

The signal turned green, and I started walking first.

Then, I turned back to Hayashi, who was still standing, and smiled.

“Totally different.”

With a provocative smile, Hayashi soon started walking. Contrary to when she was feeling down earlier, she now had an innocent smile like a child on her face.

“How cheeky! After being dumped by Akari!”

“It’s a story from a long time ago! I don’t care anymore!”

“Ah! Accept the fact that you were dumped! Otherwise, you won’t get a cute girlfriend!”

“Shut up. I’m not looking for a girlfriend now.”

“…You’re not looking for one at all?”

“Hm?”

“…Hey, Yamamoto?”

Hayashi was smiling. But her smile was somewhat painful.

“Do you… still like Akari?”

I was at a loss for words.

I thought for a bit.

Then, before I knew it, I found myself giving a bitter smile.

“…I don’t know.”

Even though it’s about myself.

Even though it’s about my feelings.

Right now, I didn’t understand myself.

“I see.”

Hayashi was smiling gently.