Kumodesu

I held Charlot in my arms as I ran like mad, though my body was covered in wounds and my stamina had all but run dry. My back was where most of my bones had fractured, so carrying her there was out of the question.

"Leave me here..." Charlot whispered weakly.

"Don't say something so stupid!"

My voice was firm, unwavering. If there was one thing I couldn't compromise on, it was this.

"I... I still have one last move. It won't be enough to kill that thing… but it might help you… survive," she said between gasps, each word interrupted by bouts of coughing that brought up more and more blood. The warm red soaked into my clothes completely.

"You're the one I consider my soulmate. I can't just leave you behind," I said, though my chest ached with more than just pain.

Charlot smiled faintly—a pale, fleeting smile.

"A soulmate…? It feels good to be that, but I wanted more than that... I wanted… to be the most special person to you."

!!!

I stumbled slightly but forced myself to pick up speed.

My heart, already pounding like a war drum from the endless battles, now exploded with a final, devastating beat. I understood… I always had. I just hadn't dared to believe.

"Why are you saying this now?"

"Because… if I don't say it now… I'll never have another chance."

Her voice was no louder than the wind, yet it sliced through me like a blade. Her life was slipping away, like a candle flickering in its final breaths.

"I've wanted for so long… to do something for myself. I was tired of the rules, the burdens of my status… I didn't want to spend my life learning etiquette, attending parties, and putting on a fake face every single day…"

I knew that.

She'd mentioned these things countless times when she was drunk.

She continued.

"But no one supported me. They told me, with my status, all I had to do was sit still and enjoy life. After marriage… I could live out my days in luxury…"

She gave a bitter laugh.

"But I didn't want that! That kind of life… would make me nothing more than a puppet. When I said I wanted to join the military, my father screamed in my face, called me a fool. The only one who ever believed in me… was the Commander. He gave me a chance despite all the pressure. He was my benefactor."

Charlot coughed up more blood.

"Don't force yourself anymore!"

I panicked.

I knew she needed to get it all out—everything she'd buried for so long. Things she'd never even told me. But seeing her cough blood like that, I couldn't bear it.

"Just this once… let me say it," she pleaded, her voice halfway between desperation and honesty.

All I could do was listen. Listen to the final confessions of her life.

"When I first joined the military, I was full of fire, full of ideals about justice. But… reality was crueler than I ever imagined. No one respected me. At first, I was only assigned to logistics and medical work. Eventually, I proved myself enough to join the front lines… and then I was disappointed all over again."

"The weak are trampled. Comrades abandon one another. Innocents are slaughtered without a second thought. When Lubberia expanded the war, I heard the cries of women night after night… I saved some, but never enough…"

I said nothing. Only tightened my grip, listening in silence.

"I wanted to grow stronger. I wanted to climb high enough to stop the cruelty… but the higher I climbed, the more people I had to kill. I ignored the guilt. I thought I'd finally… succeeded. I wanted to share that victory with someone. But when I looked around… there was no one left beside me."

"From nobles to soldiers, they all had their prejudices against me. My reputation in the capital was garbage. But for the sake of my ideals… I kept going. And when I finally had to face death… I realized how easily those ideals wavered…"

My breath caught.

This was a story she had never told me.

Maybe this was the side of Charlot she had always hidden.

She paused, her eyes fluttering closed like she was remembering something from long ago.

"There was a monster uprising. We fought constantly. In the middle of the chaos was a small village with a few thousand people. Most wanted to abandon it. But I opposed that… I dragged them along with me, all for the sake of my ideals. The result? Countless soldiers died, and the people we saved… were few."

Her voice dropped to a whisper, like she was finally confessing the greatest shame of her life.

"I ran away… at the very last moment. When I had to choose between saving myself and saving others… I ran. My legs had no strength left, but my fear of death made me run faster than I ever had… leaving behind those screams…"

"I… failed completely."

Those words told me everything. She had given up on what she once believed in.

She let out a hollow laugh, one tinged with tears.

"I wanted to disappear… I traveled, saved people like I was trying to redeem myself, but no matter how many I saved, I couldn't forget the ones I didn't. Their screams haunted me. The smiles of those I helped only made me feel more fake."

"Eventually, I returned to the military. Abandoned my ideals. Shut myself off. No friends. No comrades. No connections. I closed myself off so completely it became self-destruction… until I met you."

Her voice softened now, like a candle flickering in the wind.

"Our first meeting wasn't pleasant, but I never forgot it. The second time, I started to notice you more. You weren't special, not particularly strong, not powerful, but I could see… you were also a lost soul, trying to find a new life."

"I realized we were similar… like two birds with no nest. I wanted to know your story. I wanted you to hear mine. I wanted us to understand each other."

"Gradually, I realized… you were the only one still around me. You were the only one willing to drink with me for no reason, the only one who truly understood me. You didn't scold me, didn't try to fix me. You just sat there in silence… and that silence was exactly what I needed."

"Then I realized… my feelings had changed. I had to wrestle with them for a long time…"

Her pale cheeks flushed ever so slightly, bringing back a flicker of life.

"When you said you'd be willing to die for others… I was terrified. Terrified that I wasn't the one you'd die for. Terrified that you'd leave. But I asked myself—could I do the same for you?"

"In the end… I found my answer. I wanted to do something for you. I didn't need you to know. I didn't need you to return it. I just wanted… to do something—for the one I love."

Her eyes glistened, though they were already clouded.

"And now… I finally have my chance."

Her voice was gentle—eerily calm, as though death no longer frightened her.

"Loyral… I hope you won't hesitate like I did. I've lost too much… regretted too many things. But this time… I followed my heart. And I'm at peace with that."

"Don't…"

I cut in, voice cracking.

"How could I leave you after hearing all of that?"

I tried to stay composed, but the tears flowed freely. My heart felt like it was being carved apart, every word she spoke etched deeper into my soul.

She reached up and gently wiped my tears.

"This is something I chose. No one made me. It has nothing to do with you."

She smiled, her eyes unnaturally calm, as though she had long accepted this ending.

"I…"

I wanted to stop her. But the moment of peace was shattered when a thunderous roar erupted behind us.

The Cerberus charged, massive and monstrous, now down to a single head. Its red eyes burned with hatred and madness.

It moved like a shadow born of hell itself, the wind howling as it lunged. We didn't have time to dodge. The force of impact sent us flying. Even then, I held her close, shielding her from further harm.

I crashed hard, pain flaring from my waist—its claw had torn a deep hole into me, blood pouring out like a river.

Dizzy.

I struggled to rise, refusing to let unconsciousness claim me. My eyes scanned desperately.

She was there.

Standing between me and the monster.

Though she could barely stand, she still faced it, unwavering.

Ah… I understood now.

Charlot had always been strong. No matter how many times she fell, she never needed help to rise. Even if she had to sink into the mud, she'd do it on her own terms.

But now—she stood tall.

For her final moment, for what she wanted to protect… and maybe, for a sliver of the ideals she had once abandoned.

I couldn't help but laugh bitterly. Of all things, she had chosen me as the last vessel of her belief.

"Charlot…" I whispered.

She turned to me. Her face pale as snow, yet her smile warm—like spring's final breath in the heart of winter.

She stepped forward, touched my face.

"Just this once… I hope you'll forgive my selfishness."

Before I could say a word, she leaned in and kissed me.

The kiss took me by surprise, but I didn't pull away. It might be the last thing I could ever do for her, a moment to respond to all the sincerity that had been hidden for so long. It was the answer I couldn't voice, the farewell I couldn't say, and the goodbye I never wanted.

Tears flowed freely again, because I knew—I'd never see that smile again.

She was sweet, gentle… but all I could feel was sorrow and regret. She had carried these feelings alone, for so long, right beside the one she loved.

Without realizing, I had hurt her.

She pulled away with reluctance, then reached into her collar and took out an old jade pendant, worn smooth with time. She stared at it for a long moment, as if wrapping a whole life into something so small, then pressed it into my hand.

"This was something my grandfather gave me before he died. He was the one I respected most. I carried it from the very beginning. Whenever I felt like giving up, I would look at it and remember him. It always gave me hope to keep going. Now… I want it to be your hope."

Her voice trembled.

"I'm not giving it as a memento—but as a promise. That I existed. That I loved you. And I have no regrets."

She stood, turning away.

I reached out, but my hand fell short. I collapsed to the ground.

"Go, Loyral. I hope you'll find your own future, your own light… the same way you were that light to me."

Her voice rang out like a final bell through fire and ash.

Light began to pour from her body, burning away every last drop of life to summon her final strength. Her armor cracked. Each step was resolute, each one like a vow etched into the battlefield.

My eyes widened.

Then… she charged.

No hesitation.

No turning back.

In that moment, she was a phoenix ablaze in its final flight.

"GO, LOYRAL! I LOVE YOU! EVEN IF THESE WORDS CAME TOO LATE, I'M GLAD I GOT TO SAY THEM!"

"MAY WE MEET AGAIN IN THE NEXT LIFE…"

The last image I'll ever have of Charlot—is her radiant smile as she shouted those words. A smile so pure, so free, it told me she had truly found peace, with nothing left to regret.

She had made her choice.

And she was happy with it.

I couldn't hold back anymore. The tears fell uncontrollably.

I forced myself up, looked at her one final time, and then ran. My legs had long gone numb, but I didn't dare stop.

She had chosen to die for me—so I could not let this life be wasted.

I clutched the jade pendant tightly, blood and tears mingling, as I ran like a child crying for something already lost.

Not long after, a deafening explosion shook the world behind me. The ground split. The air howled. Even from far away, the shockwave hit me and sent me tumbling.

But I didn't stop.

I got up.

And I ran.

Ran, like the entire world was burning behind me.

Charlot...

I owe you everything in this life.

May we meet again in the next life