Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

Naruto shouted, startling everyone in the Hokage's office, including the little pig, Tonton, who turned toward him in surprise.

"What's wrong?"

The long-legged Shizune, seated with her legs crossed at her desk, looked up at him in confusion and gently called out, "Naruto-kun?"

Naruto didn't respond right away. He took a few deep breaths and shook his head, causing his golden hair to sway.

"Talent: Evil Little Yellow Hair, activate!"

"Gift: Liar's Mouth, activate!"

He silently recited the words in his mind, then cleared his throat and coughed twice.

Under everyone's curious gaze, Naruto confidently walked up to Yamanaka Rino, Ino's mother.

What is he doing?

Ino, who had been trying to calm her mother down, was left completely baffled as Naruto suddenly walked up beside her. She had no idea what he was about to do.

But she trusted him completely.

In her heart, she firmly believed that Naruto would never do anything to hurt her. After all, she knew he had liked her for years.

As their eyes met, even Rino was confused. Why had Naruto suddenly approached her after shouting like that?

Does he have something to say to me?

For some reason, Rino didn't dislike Naruto at all. In fact, she found the blond boy rather adorable.

She smiled gently and asked, "Naruto-kun, is something wrong?"

Naruto bowed his head slightly and said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry. We… lied to you."

"What?"

Before Ino could react, Naruto dropped a bombshell:

"Actually, we lied. Ino didn't hide in her apartment after the Kumogakure attack last night. She… spent the night at my house."

The warm winter sun peeked through the window, casting a ray of golden light onto Naruto's cheek, making him look as bright as a painting.

Everyone in the room—including the pig—stared at Naruto in complete shock.

At that moment, Naruto heard a delightful chime in his mind.

[Ding! Congratulations to the host for completing Option 1. Reward (10,000 ryō) has been successfully issued.]

[Ding! Congratulations to the host for completing Option 2. Reward (100,000 ryō) has been successfully issued.]

If you're going to go all in on crazy missions, you might as well go all the way.

Shizune, cradling Tonton in her arms, stealthily took something out from her inner pocket—a tiny slug.

Meanwhile, Sasuke quietly stepped back, giving Naruto the spotlight. The corners of his mouth curled up with interest.

Naruto's got guts—confessing to having an affair with someone's daughter right in front of her mother.

A true legend.

Ino's expression froze. Her heart trembled. She swallowed hard and glanced at her mother, who was now glaring directly at her.

"Mom, please let me explain! It's not like what Naruto said. You've got it all wrong."

Ino desperately tried to clarify.

But Naruto spoke again.

"Ma'am, here's what happened. I brought Ino home yesterday and saw she was injured. I helped treat her, and she rested at my house overnight."

"Oh, I see…"

Rino let out a sigh of relief and patted her chest. "Then I should be thanking you, Naruto-kun, for helping Ino."

If that were the end of it, there wouldn't be much for Rino to worry about. Her husband, Yamanaka Inoichi, had told her not to interfere with Naruto and Ino's interactions. They were young—let them figure it out themselves.

And besides, her husband seemed fond of Naruto.

As long as nothing inappropriate happened, everything should be fine.

"…This…" Ino hesitated. Her mother didn't seem angry anymore, so maybe it was okay?

But her gut instinct told her something was still off.

And she was right.

The next moment, Naruto dropped another bombshell.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. Something happened between Ino and me last night… something that shouldn't have."

Silence. Complete silence.

Not just in the office.

Far away at the Konoha war camp in the Land of Hot Springs, countless jōnin turned their heads toward Yamanaka Inoichi.

A slug perched on Tsunade's shoulder was transmitting the entire scene from the Hokage's office.

Tsunade gave Naruto a mental thumbs-up.

"This brat's even faster than Minato was with Kushina."

But with Ino's father standing beside her, she couldn't celebrate openly. She coughed, dismissed the slug, and casually said:

"Haiichi, we should focus on the war. Let the younger generation handle their own love lives."

Yamanaka Inoichi's face darkened. He managed to squeeze out a stiff "Yes…"

Seriously? I leave the village for one day and this happens?

The "Kumo attack" was clearly a lie.

No way the Cloud Ninja could have launched an attack within hours of war breaking out.

That little bastard just lured my daughter home and—

Dammit!

Shikaku and Choza gently patted Inoichi's shoulders.

"Stay strong, Haiichi," Shikaku said solemnly.

"Easy for you to say! It wasn't your daughter!"

Inoichi cursed inwardly and gritted his teeth.

"Damn it all!"

Elsewhere in the tent, Hiashi Hyuga frowned.

"The Yamanaka family beat us to it?"

He remembered his youngest daughter, Hanabi, saying Naruto liked her.

Now, it seemed Yamanaka Ino had stolen him away.

"Damn that Yamanaka Inoichi! He must've arranged this, knowing how important Naruto is as a Jinchūriki. And Tsunade clearly favors the boy. She might even make him the next Hokage."

Still, all wasn't lost.

"Naruto is honest. From the way he talks, he's not one to lie. Maybe there's still a chance for Hanabi."

Back in the office…

Yamanaka Rino's expression turned ice-cold. Her face was dark and stormy.

Seeing her mother's fury, Ino panicked.

"Mom! It's not Naruto's fault! I insisted on staying at his place, and I asked him to check my wounds. Besides, nothing happened between us. You have to believe me!"

She turned to Naruto.

"Naruto, tell her! Tell her nothing happened!"

Naruto bit his lip, looking pained.

"Ino, don't lie. We did something inappropriate. Mrs. Rino might be a grandmother soon… how could we lie about that?"

Rino staggered, nearly fainting.

They didn't even take precautions?!

Her chest heaved with rage. If it weren't for her husband's warning before leaving, she might have cursed Naruto out on the spot.

"You damned little brat! How could you do this to my daughter?"

Ino was frozen.

Naruto's expression was so sincere, even she almost believed him.

Did Naruto sneak into my room last night without me noticing?

She stared at him in disbelief, eyes misty with tears.

[Ding! Congratulations to the host for completing Option 3. Reward (1% Nine-Tails control) has been successfully issued.]

At that moment, Naruto suddenly changed tone. He dropped to his knees in front of Rino and shouted:

"I'm sorry, ma'am! I held Ino's hand last night without her consent! I knew holding hands could lead to pregnancy, but I still did it! I deserve to die!"

???

Can someone shock the same group twice in under three minutes?

Yes.

Naruto Uzumaki just did.

Everyone—including Sasuke, Ino, Rino, and Shizune—stood there, stunned.

Yoshihisa...

Shizune stood up in disbelief, walked over to Ino, and took her hand.

She transferred chakra, checking her condition.

"I can't believe Naruto… who flirts with Lady Tsunade daily… doesn't know this basic biology."

But the results?

"Ms. Ino is still a virgin," Shizune declared.

The room fell silent.

Sasuke's mind went blank.

Naruto's really that pure? What the hell was he doing at Izumi's house all this time?

Holding hands all night?

No wonder he said "using hands" wasn't a euphemism…

Sasuke made a mental note:

"I must lend him Intimate Paradise... the boy needs help."

Mrs. Rino burst out laughing.

All her anger dissolved in an instant.

"This kid is so innocent… he's adorable."

Ino, on the other hand, was falling apart.