King Arthur Won't Die by Accident

"Merry, do you know why I summoned you today?"

Arthur sat high upon the throne, face solemn, voice cold. His posture radiated majesty.

This meeting was… unusual.

Not because of the topic—Arthur had scolded Merry plenty of times.

But because they were alone.

That never happened.

Whenever Merry or Merlin were summoned, Arthur always made sure at least one reliable person was in the room. Without a buffer, the risk of physical, emotional, or moral disaster skyrocketed. The flower magicians were chaos incarnate. There was no such thing as a safe solo conversation.

But today, Arthur dismissed everyone and chose to face Merry alone.

That, in itself, was a warning sign.

"Of course, my king," Merry said sweetly, her smile radiant. "After all, I am Merry—the flower magician, the eternal sage who watches over you. If you wish, you may also call me your beautiful and gentle big sister. Come closer, now—it's fine~ Rather, I insist."

Arthur's expression didn't twitch, but internally:

Who the hell calls themselves a 'sage'?

And 'gentle big sister'? What dimension does that even come from?!

Okay, fine, Merry was beautiful. But gentle? Kind?

Absolutely delusional.

There was no upper limit to her shamelessness.

"…Is that so," Arthur said flatly, his eyes dull, as if observing trash caught in a breeze.

"Oh my~ That gaze of cold disgust—it's making Onee-chan tremble~☆"

That tone again.

That disgusting, frivolous tone that made people question whether Merry had ever lived a decent day in her life.

No wonder the rumors about her and Merlin were so bizarre.

This woman is hopeless.

Arthur sighed inwardly and resisted the urge to summon the Holy Sword of Judgment.

Too late.

The blade of starlight shimmered into existence at his side.

"If you think this is a joke… go ahead. Keep talking."

"Okay, okay, Big Sis admits defeat~" Merry raised her hands lazily, as if she were swatting away sunlight, completely lacking in dignity or shame. "But I always stay close to my king, so of course I know everything that happens. Every mood, every twitch of emotion—I've seen it all. Hehe~"

Arthur's eye twitched.

That's not loyalty. That's stalking.

By modern standards, Merry would have been arrested five times over. She was a living offense against personal boundaries.

Garbage.

No—less than garbage. Garbage at least serves a purpose—recycling, fertilizer, energy. Merry, even if reduced to ashes, would still be an environmental hazard.

Arthur's stare turned frosty.

She's going to pay for last night.

"So," he said coldly, "last night's behavior… was your idea."

He exhaled, hand tightening on the hilt of the sword.

"I should be devastated to execute my first minister in public. But I'm not. Honestly, it feels kind of cathartic."

His smile curled—dangerous, too radiant to be holy. The sort of beauty that fairies would fall in love with just before their tragic demise.

If the Holy Sword weren't glowing gently beside him, it would've been a perfect scene.

"Oh my~ My king, don't be so shy~ It's perfectly normal for boys and girls to have these little accidents when they're young. If you want, Big Sister can give you her blessing~☆"

Merry winked.

Arthur's composure cracked.

The sword vanished.

His face turned red.

Because she was right.

Last night… he had decided to take a rare break. To sleep. To relax.

He even felt a little grateful when a warm weight settled on top of him, expecting it to be a pleasant dream.

Then he opened his eyes—and saw her.

Twin ponytails. Blonde hair.

A flushed face. Eyes nervous, shy, yet determined.

It was Arturia.

Perched on his chest.

Arturia! What the hell are you doing?!

Didn't you get enough during the day? Now it's a full night raid?!

Arthur's mind short-circuited.

His brain screamed, "This is wrong on ten levels!"

He barely resisted the temptation of the ahoge. He was on high alert for assassinations, but this kind of assassination wasn't in his manual.

He had always known Arturia to be innocent. Soft. Sweet. The type to blush if someone held her hand for too long. A joke would leave her too shy to form a sentence.

So—what the hell was this?

What happened to his gentle little sister-knight?!

But then—she spoke.

"I… I heard everything, Arthur. You've been holding it in for so long, haven't you? You're still a man, after all…"

Arthur stared in mute horror.

"Even if it's my first time… I know what I'm doing! I've studied! I've read up on it! Even if I lack experience, I can make up for it with solid theory! Don't worry, I'll be gentle. I'll finish quickly—before it hurts too much!"

She meant it sincerely.

"Is… is being gentle really that important?"

Arthur had never felt so insulted in his life.

This wasn't about romance anymore. This was about male dignity.

If not for his moral backbone and rational mind, he might've flipped her over right then and there and shown her who needed gentleness.

Also, who's supposed to feel pain?! Shouldn't that be you?!*

Things almost spiraled out of control.

Fortunately, Manaka appeared in the nick of time and yanked Arturia away like a rescue crew pulling someone off train tracks.

After several hours of interrogation, Arthur got the full story.

Apparently, Arturia's knowledge, motivation, and timing had all been orchestrated by Merry.

Whispers. Jokes. "Education." Psychological priming.

Merry had done it all.

The once-innocent angel of Britain—gone.

Corrupted.

Transformed into a brave but misinformed twin-tailed disaster.

All because of Merry.

Arthur trembled.

Morgan's night attack a few years ago was bad enough. Now there's Arturia.

Is there a Pendragon woman she hasn't corrupted?!

Why not go seduce Manaka or Skadi instead?!

You nearly made me socially dead, you bastard!

…And that's why—at this moment—Arthur actually preferred Merlin.

Because at least Merlin treated Arturia like a daughter and never pulled this kind of garbage.

Merry, on the other hand, was trying to raise a mini-Merry.

Ever since Arturia became a magician, she had gotten even worse.

"You—slut!" Arthur snapped, utterly ashamed and furious. "Stop making it sound like something actually happened! Don't twist the story! Don't act like I—like I enjoyed it!"

His voice echoed off the marble walls.

-End Chapter-

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