I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

"...Lucain… you're awake?"

The words floated through the dimly lit room like a fragile whisper, barely louder than a breeze. But to Lucain, they struck like a blade.

He stopped mid-step.

For a moment, he didn't turn. His back remained to her. The shadows danced across the floor from the faint glow of the system interface beside him.

What's the point?

The thought whispered in his mind. Just walk away. There's no need to answer. Not anymore.

But… that wasn't right either.

His fingers twitched slightly. A sigh escaped him long, weary, carved from the weight of too many memories. Slowly, he turned around.

Cassandra was sitting up straight, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her face was pale, her hair a mess of unkempt strands falling across her face. Her confusion was raw and visible, like someone who had just been pulled from a bad dream only to find that reality was worse.

"What is it?" Lucain asked, his voice low, hollow. It didn't carry anger. Just… exhaustion. As though his soul had been bled dry.

Cassandra stared at him, lips parting slightly, then closing again.

She didn't know where to start. So many emotions had twisted inside her the past three days regret, guilt, helplessness and now, standing in front of her, was the boy she had nearly killed.

"I…" she began, but the words caught in her throat. Her voice broke and she turned her head away.

"Don't leave," she whispered, almost too quietly. "Please. Your injuries… they're not healed yet."

She couldn't meet his eyes. Not now. Not after everything.

She had wanted to apologize had replayed it a thousand times in her head. But one look at him, at that cold and expressionless face, and everything inside her shattered. Her courage, her rehearsed lines… gone.

"I'm fine," Lucain replied after a pause, tone unreadable. "Thank you… for taking care of me."

That was all he could muster. Any more would be wasted breath.

His next words were like a knife in her heart.

"I'll pay for the treatment. For everything I've received while I was unconscious."

He turned slightly, preparing to walk away again.

Cassandra flinched as though slapped.

"P-Pay?" she repeated, stunned. "Treatment? What do you mean by that?!"

Her voice cracked, louder now, laced with disbelief. She stood up, her bare feet unsteady on the floor. Her limbs trembled, and her hands clenched into weak fists at her sides.

"Why would you say something like that?" she asked, stepping closer. "Do you really think I'd ask you for anything?!"

Lucain remained silent.

Cassandra's breath hitched as realization dawned.

"…Are you trying to put distance between us? Is that it?"

Her voice trembled. "Are you treating me like a stranger now…?"

Her eyes burned with emotion as she looked up at him. He didn't speak. He didn't move.

But that was what terrified her the most.

There was no smile on his face.

Nothing.

Even in his darkest days, even when he was breaking inside, Lucain always smiled. It was his mask. The armor he wore to keep others from seeing the bleeding beneath the surface. Whether it was rejection from Avey or betrayal from those closest to him, the smile never left.

Even when he had pushed Cassandra away in the past, he did it gently. With a smile.

But now?

Nothing.

No warmth.

No mask.

Just cold, raw emptiness.

Her breath caught. Does he… hate me now?

No.

No, he can't.

Lucain the boy she knew couldn't hate anyone.

Not even his mother or sister who had torn him down. Not even Avey, who shattered his heart with cruelty. Even then… even after it all, Lucain had given up everything to save her even his liffe.

And now... her.

She had tried to kill him. She pulled the trigger. Put bullets in his stomach.

His blood

She saw it. Felt it on her hands. That memory alone had haunted her every second since.

But it wasn't because she wanted to hurt him.

She didn't know.

She didn't know he was Harry.

If she had known... she would've aimed at herself instead. She couldn't even handle the thought of Harry being scratched let alone bleeding out because of her.

No one knew how those three days had been for her. The silence. The self-loathing. She hadn't eaten a single thing. Not even water. Her throat was dry and raw, but she welcomed the suffering.

Because that's what she deserved.

Lucain lying unconscious had been punishment enough but now that he was awake… why was he treating her like this?

Why was he talking like a stranger?

It couldn't be.

It shouldn't be.

The Lucain she knew wouldn't do this not without hearing her out.

If she told him everything if she just said the words he would forgive her. He had to. That's who he was. That's who Harry was.

Right?

So many thoughts tore through her, each louder than the last. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as she looked back at him

And then he turned.

Lucain's eyes met hers. Calm. Unblinking. But there was something sharp behind them like shattered glass buried beneath still water.

He tilted his head slightly, his voice quiet.

"…Aren't we?" he asked.

"Tell me, Cassandra what is our relationship?"

Cassandra froze.

Her lips parted slightly, as if caught off guard by something impossible.

Did Lucian just… ask her that?

What is our relationship?

Her mind struggled to grasp the question, as if the weight of those words were pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

"I... I..." she stammered, but her voice faded into a whisper.

A storm of memories surged forward.

From childhood she avey anf lucian. So many memories of them together.

She looked at him right into his eyes. Her voice steadied, but only barely.

"I'm… your childhood friend. Your best friend. The one you tell everything to."

Her hands balled into fists at her sides. "Do you really not remember the moments we had? All these years?"

She swallowed.

"You, as Lucian… maybe there weren't many," she admitted, her voice small but honest. "But you as Harry… we've had so many more. I know you remember them too."

Her eyes welled up with the weight of the memories. "We are best friends," she whispered, her voice trembling, yet sincere. "You were… you are… someone I~"

But she couldn't finish the sentence.

Not now. Not with the silence between them thick enough to choke on.

She wanted to scream the rest.

Wanted to cry.

Wanted to drop to her knees and beg for him to look at her the way he used to.

But Lucian's eyes… didn't change.

Still. Cold. Distant. Watching.

And that silence… it cut deeper than any blade could.

Her heart skipped. Her knees weakened under her. The air felt heavier suddenly. The desperation and guilt of the past three days the hunger, the thirst, the self-inflicted torment came crashing all at once.

His eyes…

They looked at her as if she were a stranger.

As if… nothing they shared had ever mattered.

Why… why do you look at me like that…?

She took a step back, her breath shaky, eyes glistening.

Lucian's gaze didn't waver. If anything, there was a flicker of something else behind them now.

Disappointment.

Was she pretending nothing happened?

No they both were.

Then, as if something inside her snapped into focus, Cassandra took a deep breath.

No more running.

No more pretending.

She stared at him, her hands shaking, but her voice steadying as she finally said the words she had rehearsed a thousand times in her head.

"I'm sorry."

Her voice was quiet but raw.

"I didn't know it was you. I didn't know you were Harry."

Her throat tightened. "I… I tried to kill you. I hurt you deeply. And for that, I am so, so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry."

She clutched her chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart. Her breath caught as her voice cracked.

"If I had even the slightest idea it was you under that helmet… I would've never raised my weapon. I swear, I would've taken my own life first. Even the thought of hurting you..."

Her voice broke again, and she swallowed her tears.

"You don't know what you mean to me. You're… you're one of the most important people in my life. I can't"

She wiped at her face. "I can't forgive myself for what I did."

She stepped forward, slowly, almost stumbling.

"I haven't eaten. Not even water. I've just been here… waiting. Watching. Hoping."

Her voice trembled now, a mixture of relief and agony. "And now that you're finally awake… please, sit. You're still injured. You need rest, water. Let me"

But as she reached out, Lucian raised his hand.

Cassandra flinched.

Her eyes widened, breath hitching as she instinctively pulled her hand back. Her heart skipped a beat.

"…Huh?" she gasped softly, startled by his sudden gesture.

Her gaze shot up to his face, hoping for some sign any sign that he was softening.

But it was still there.

The same expressionless face.

The same man… yet utterly unfamiliar.

"Will you not forgive me…?" she whispered, her voice cracking under the weight of her fear. "No no no no no, it's okay. You don't have to. I understand. You have every right not to…"

She stumbled over her own words, her panic rising. "You can hate me. Punish me. Whatever you want. If you told me to end my life, I would do it. I swear..."

Her voice broke again as her eyes flicked to his bandaged torso.

"…But please… sit down," she begged, her voice desperate. "Your wounds are bleeding. You… you must've reopened them. I please, let me call someone..."

Lucian exhaled. A soft, tired sound.

Then, finally, he spoke.

"Cassandra…"

His voice was low, calm, but there was no warmth in it.

"You tried to kill me."

Her eyes widened in horror. "I know… I know! I'm sorry... I really didn't know you were Harry. If I had"

"No," he cut her off, voice firmer now.

"I'm not Harry, Cassandra."

She froze.

He gently looked at her.

"Harry… is just a name. A mask. A helmet I wore to hide my face."

His voice grew heavier.

"I am Lucian. I've always been Lucian. The real me the one you tried to kill."

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Hey guys your favourite author is back

Thanks for reading