I Start with a Bad Hand!

I avoided Icarus’s piercing gaze and took a step closer to Logan. Logan, sensing the prince’s arrival, subtly straightened his hunched shoulders. Noticing the glances being thrown his way, Icarus’s face grew more stern.

“Take your time and answer.”

“…Sure!”

Watching Logan’s lips twitch with a sense of triumph, I clenched my fists again.

‘If I punch him quickly, maybe no one will notice what happened.’

Maybe I should have learned hand-to-hand combat instead of archery, I seriously considered, thinking about suggesting a new course at the academy. With a smile masking my frustration, I greeted Logan with a polite nod. If I punched him now…

“The third son of the Usher Viscount family for the ball?”

“Yes.”

“He’s the one who’s always hanging around that rude earl’s son who was disrespectful to you.”

“I know.”

“He even had the nerve to tell you that he hopes you find someone better than him.”

Icarus looked at me with a face that showed he couldn’t understand the situation. Honestly, neither could I. I was more baffled by this situation than Icarus was.

‘Dietrich… was not going to the ball with Logan really a regret as big as your adoptive parents’ death…?’

But what could I do if I didn’t understand? If this could help me uncover Dietrich’s regret… I rubbed my face repeatedly.

“I have no choice.”

Icarus continued to frown at me, clearly puzzled.

“Sometimes, things don’t go the way we want.”

Excuse me, I need to go. Icarus didn’t stop me, and I headed straight back to the dormitory.

By now, the pillow’s stuffing should have returned to its original shape. I wanted to pound it until it was completely flat again.

***

The news I was waiting for never came. Neither from Agnes nor Logan.

Lymus Street, where the fire had occurred, was undergoing restoration. I thought about visiting, but…

‘I’m still a bit… hesitant.’

I didn’t want to admit it, but I was still uneasy. I still didn’t know who had brought the paintings to the Degoph Baron’s couple or who had left the hair outside my room. Nor did I know who had set the fire in Lymus Street at that exact time. Just dealing with Dietrich’s situation made my head ache, and there were too many unsettling people in this world.

“Sigh…”

Thinking like that made my chest feel tight again. Before my eyes could redden once more, I hurriedly got up from my seat. Maybe if I got some fresh air, I’d feel better.

I was leaning against the window, cooling my eyes, when I heard a voice I didn’t want to hear along with approaching footsteps.

“What’s wrong with your face?”

I’ve been running into this guy a lot lately. As usual, Aiden’s voice was sullen. Without bothering to open my eyes, I replied.

“Go away….”

Even when he tries to show concern, it’s annoying. Aiden seemed to grumble and go his way. However, the sound of his receding footsteps soon turned back toward me.

“Hey.”

“…What?”

Instinctively, I caught the object Aiden lightly tossed. It was a handkerchief, ornately embroidered with the name “Douglas.” Looking back at Aiden with a puzzled expression, he replied in a slightly exasperated tone.

“Try to put on a better face.”

He gestured as if to say, “Wipe your face with it.”

“Your face is the only decent thing about you, and lately, you’ve been looking like….”

“Just go away and stop pissing me off….”

Of course. What did I expect from him? When I threw the handkerchief back, Aiden grumbled as he walked away again.

‘What a ridiculous guy.’

He always picks a fight, and now he’s… Now?

‘Why is he acting like this all of a sudden?’

I quickly called out to Aiden as he walked away.

“Hey, come back here.”

“What?”

“I said, come back here.”

Aiden scrunched up his face but soon turned and approached me again.

“What now?”

“Why did you give me the handkerchief?”

“What?”

Aiden looked at me as if wondering why I was asking such a thing. Then, with a disgruntled face, he asked back.

“Can’t I give it to you?”

“It’s weird. Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

You even told me not to bother you. As soon as I said that, Aiden’s face turned red up to his neck, and he raised his voice.

“Hey, about that time… Ah, sorry. I shouldn’t have given it to you.”

Feeling sorry for your pitiful face, I threw it to you, but never mind. Aiden’s ears were now red, too.

“Exactly.”

“What do you mean, exactly? Hey, you seem to think that just because I’ve talked to you a few times, we’re on the same level. But fundamentally, you and I are….”

I stared at him intently. Aiden continued to ramble, saying things that made me want to hit him. Aiden was always like this. If this were a world with guns, he would have gotten shot at least once. Watching him, I realized for the first time how creatively someone could pick a fight.

Despite that, when I looked miserable, Aiden threw me a handkerchief.

‘Dietrich is causing this commotion because he thinks it’s beneath him.’

It’s not that I wanted to say Aiden was a surprisingly decent person. It was just that through these series of events, I reconfirmed a point I had difficulty accepting. Human emotions are inherently fickle. Therefore, even malice from people didn’t always manifest in a consistent direction.

Even Cedric was like that. He came at me like he wanted to kill me for deceiving the Ducal House, but when I got a nosebleed, he handed me a handkerchief twice already.

‘Actually, I’m the same.’

Every time we met, I would mutter “I wish you were dead” under my breath and think I’d rather jump off a cliff than face Cedric.

But when I actually faced him, I didn’t really think of doing anything else. What I wanted was for Cedric to suffer a lifelong defeat that he could never overcome, not for him to die. No matter how much I hated Cedric, killing him seemed too extreme. Even if he had a good status and a nice house, living a miserable life like a walking corpse would be enough. Given the chance to actually kill him, I wouldn’t do it.

Thinking along those lines made the current situation seem strange. The malice surrounding Dietrich.

‘No matter what, how can someone hold such a deep grudge against one person?’

They tried to kill their adoptive parents, monitored them to threaten them in disgusting ways, and even set fire to the place where it all happened. Even someone as insufferable as Aiden didn’t go that far, and someone with as much resentment and power as Cedric didn’t take it that far either. I continued to stare at Aiden, who was still muttering to himself.

‘Even a guy like him gives me insights. Surprisingly, there are no completely useless people in this world.’

“That’s enough. Go away.”

“Do you think I’m a dog or something? How many times are you going to tell me to come and go?”

“No, I’m the one leaving.”

“Hey!”

I walked away, leaving Aiden shouting behind me.

It’s not that I’ve never faced malice from others. There was always at least one person in any group who disliked me.

‘But is this kind of malice common?’

The malice I had experienced so far in my life was, so to speak, like the weather. It would come unexpectedly like a sudden shower but would soon pass. If I avoided it for a moment, I wouldn’t get wet. Even if I got caught in a few showers, it wouldn’t greatly affect my life, aside from spoiling my mood.

However, there was a common thread in the things that had happened to Dietrich so far. The anonymous person seemed to specialize in insidiously disrupting her daily life, creating anxiety: slowly driving her adoptive parents to death, sowing suspicion among those around her, and even preventing her from entering her own room. This malice was like the climate, forming over a long period and permeating her life with consistency, gradually steering her existence in a specific direction. It caused her to become increasingly withdrawn, discouraged, and to lose hope in the world.

‘It seems like someone is trying to isolate her.’

The intent was so persistent that it was impossible not to notice. Therefore, I became convinced that this wasn’t a series of sporadic coincidences.

‘It’s not just a bunch of people simultaneously harassing Dietrich. There’s a very specific person with a grudge.’

Someone harbored such intense resentment towards Dietrich that repeatedly hitting her with a carriage might have been less blatant. Moreover, this level of malice wasn’t something just anyone could possess.

‘Just look at Aiden or Cedric.’

Even these two, who were steeped in nobility and resentment, fell short of this. 

‘Thinking of it this way makes things clearer.’

The reason this situation had been overwhelming for me was the uncertainty of its nature. The shock from the suspicious portrait and the returned hair, combined with the nebulousness of who was behind it, left me feeling frightened and timid. It felt like hostility was raining down on me from all directions, unpredictably.

However, the distinct direction and consistency of this malice meant that there was a driving force behind it. If I followed the trail of these events to their source, I would inevitably discover who was behind it. Once I knew the reality, it would no longer be a vague object of fear.

Most importantly, Dietrich was only seventeen years old. 

Someone was hell-bent on tormenting a seventeen-year-old who had been living as if dead in a remote barony. Someone with the intent to leave her forever alone, a girl with nothing, already living in loneliness. Such a person wasn’t truly terrifying.

As always, it was just pathetically laughable.

‘Ha, I can’t believe I was scared by this.’

At some point, I realized that this anonymous person or persons were struggling as much as I was.

“Hey, I found it!”

Like with the portrait, they were always leaving trails behind.

“I found the person who bought your hair and got a description of them!”