I Start with a Bad Hand!

‘Wow, what is happening? Did a spark get into my throat?’

Coughing violently, I covered my mouth with my sleeve, then reached for a handkerchief, but the coughs wouldn’t stop. Eventually, I coughed harshly. But…

The handkerchief was soaked with thick, dark blood.

Within it was a black marble-like piece, something that seemed anatomically impossible to come from a human body.

“……!”

I couldn’t comprehend the sight before me.

‘What is this…?’

I coughed again, and more clotted blood stained the handkerchief.

I stared at the handkerchief for a moment. The cloudy glass-like fragment was still there. Then, a thought struck me.

‘Could this be…? Dietrich’s regret. A piece of Dietrich’s soul?’

There was no way to confirm it. Even if it was true, it was equally confusing.

‘Do souls in this place normally have a physical form? If so, can they even be called souls?’

However… if my guess was correct, if this really was Dietrich’s regret…

‘I was right. I saved the Baron and Baroness Degoph.’

That’s why it must have separated from my body.

Despite the significant amount of blood lost, instead of feeling frightened, I felt relieved. The fact that my actions were justified and that I could be confident in what I had to do next gave me a strange sense of comfort.

The way it separated was somewhat grotesque, but objectively, it was about as much blood as I’d see once a month. The fact that it came from my mouth was concerning, though.

I carefully washed the cloudy marble-like black fragment. I would have to show this to a priest.

Despite coughing up blood for the first time in my life, I felt no pain. I placed my hand gently on my chest. My heart was beating well. I was breathing fine. I was still alive. Inside Dietrich’s body.

That night, I slept soundly without any dreams, which was rare for me.

***

The last weekend morning in Heylem dawned.

‘I wonder when I’ll come back. I must visit again during winter break.’

I headed to the kitchen to let them know I wouldn’t be having breakfast when I heard the sound of cheerful chatter. Somehow, Icarus had charmed Sarah, and he was exchanging lighthearted jokes with her as she prepared breakfast. His disheveled hair floated gently, more visible in the sunlight.

‘Wait, didn’t she say he was rude and inappropriate yesterday…?’

Sarah’s expression was softer than ever. Sarah Hanson, 47 years old, was at the age where she could be kind to a handsome young man.

Noticing my presence, Icarus turned and briefly smiled before stopping. He ran a hand through his feathery hair, looking embarrassed, and laughed again.

“I didn’t want to show you this side of me…”

Seeing Sarah’s previously gentle eyes narrow at his clipped words, Icarus quickly resumed his role as a polite commoner invited to the baron’s manor.

“Why? It looks natural and nice.”

“…Does it? Do you think this hair looks better?”

It was a strange tone.

“Yes, it looks comfortable.”

This time, Icarus smiled easily. He looked at Sarah with a shining face, as if asking if she felt the same. I noticed her lips twitching, trying to suppress a smile.

To save Sarah from his charm, I raised my voice unnecessarily.

“Sarah, don’t prepare my breakfast. And be sure to serve that tea to Father and Mother. Promise!”

“Oh, yes, miss! Of course.”

‘My time in Heylem has greatly helped my mental health. But…’

I had to meet the high priest. In my room, I looked at the black marble I had wrapped secretly. I remembered that the high priest, whom I often met, was holding a mass this evening. I needed to leave the house to meet him.

‘I feel sorry for the Baron and Baroness Degoph, but I’ll be back this winter break.’

I thought this while looking at the baron and baroness, who were clearly disappointed to see me go, and Icarus, who oddly didn’t seem to be hiding his own disappointment.

Dietrich, who had never coughed up blood before, had now done so in this novel world, and I needed precise information about the marble fragment.

Upon returning, I immediately sought the priest but found no trace of him.

“I believe he has gone to the holy site for some research.”

An acolyte, whom I had seen before, confirmed the high priest’s absence and spoke in a low voice.

“He said to tell you that he has found a way to obtain the information you seek.”

I nodded, trying to suppress my trembling heart.

‘This might be my chance to leave. If that happens, only Dietrich’s body will remain in this world, and it will soon decay and disappear.’

I rolled the black glass fragment in my pocket and thought calmly. Then I looked back. I saw Icarus standing in the distance, looking somewhat bewildered. When I told him I had something to discuss with the priest, he had willingly given us some space.

‘It’s such a small piece. So light that it barely has any weight.’

That tiny fragment reminded me of the reality I had momentarily forgotten. If this fragment really was a piece of Dietrich’s regret and if it meant I could return, then time was running out.

I saw Icarus smiling at me from afar, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile back.

‘If Icarus reveals his heart one more time, I’ll talk to him properly then.’

This resolution had to be firm. I couldn’t afford to act weak any longer.

***

“Did you see the woman standing at the main gate?”

“Yeah. Wow, she really looked like Degoph’s mother.”

“Right? They really do look alike.”

Dietrich’s mother? Those words, incompatible in a single sentence, made Roxanne stop in her tracks.

“When I saw her from afar, I thought it was her.”

“She must be curious about how she’ll age.”

At this casual remark, Roxanne stood frozen, unable to think. She didn’t need to hear more to know who they had seen.

It was Lady Godwin. Her mother’s sister. The one who looked so much like her…

Her heart raced. She didn’t know why Lady Godwin had come.

‘She might not be looking for her. She could be here to see me, or to see Cedric or Evan.’

Roxanne tried to calm herself, but she couldn’t shake off the chill from the academy students’ brief comments.

Since joining the Elexion Ducal House, she had often doubted whether she truly belonged there. When she couldn’t keep up with Cedric and Evan, when she failed to stand out at the academy like they did, and especially… when she saw herself falling short compared to the one who had been expelled from the ducal house.

Despite these doubts, she had managed to endure, thanks to the people who showered her with unconditional affection. From the household staff to Cedric and Evan, even her father, who was gruff and not very expressive. Her fiancé, Elius, was no exception.

They gave her the warmth she barely remembered from her early childhood. They made it seem natural for Roxanne to be enveloped in someone’s love. They made her accustomed to affection, helping her overcome occasional hardships.

‘…I need to find out why she’s here.’

Roxanne was someone accustomed to affection. She could tell if the eyes of the person standing before her held kindness.

“Roxanne… Elexion. It’s been a while. I came today to see the eldest son of the ducal house, but it seems you’ve heard about it.”

Godwin’s gaze held no emotion. It was a detached look, like one would give to a pebble on the roadside.

Even Dietrich had never looked at her with such eyes. Roxanne, who had been approaching with a bright smile, stopped in her tracks. An unfamiliar feeling enveloped her.

“…Roxanne?”

Cedric, who had quietly followed her, called out, but she was too lost in her thoughts to hear him.

***

“Hey, did you hear? There was a fire on Laimas Street.”

“What? The art shop street? Why? When?”

“Last Saturday. I don’t know. It seems an old lamp fell and caused the fire.”

It felt like my time in Heylem had been a dream, but as soon as I returned to the capital, I was greeted with disturbing news. And it was about Laimas Street, of all places. The kind art shop owner and the painter who doubled as a drunkard—without them, I wouldn’t have obtained any information to save the Baron and Baroness Degoph.

“…Were there many casualties?”

Agnes’s face grew even darker, confirming my fears without needing to hear her answer.

“The street is pretty narrow…”

The fire still hasn’t been completely extinguished. I touched the black marble-like fragment in my pocket. A strange feeling of my insides burning consumed me.

Just then, I felt a gaze on me. I turned and saw Elius. His eyes, similar to Icarus’s, looked at me without a hint of kindness. He didn’t care that I had noticed him.

Just like me, Elius had been searching for Revata on that street. We both knew this fact.