I Possessed the Heroine’s Teacher

Damn, when did he get injured? I was quite sensitive about such things, so I was shocked. My body was so sensitive that I could feel even a bug sitting on me or a speck of dust. Yet I didn’t even notice this injury? It wasn’t caused by a protruding nail or a sharp corner. Then, did someone stab me with something sharp? Unless I’m some kind of blind pirate, that’s impossible.

So, this must be the work of a ghost. Hallelujah, I should sprinkle some salt. There’s a ghost targeting my neck, so I must punish it in the name of God. I must wage a crusade and punish this ghost that’s targeting the life of a living person. I am Sir Werner…

“… Hey, Werner!”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something else…”

I was so focused on planning the crusade that I forgot about Lorcha. These damn ghosts are even interfering with my human relationships. I can’t forgive them. I must punish these damn ghosts in the name of God.

“Well, well, now you’re daydreaming in front of people? Is this what you’ve learned during your absence?”

I’ve never been treated like this, not even when I killed someone and was interrogated. Well, I did kill someone. In that case, I can’t help it. But I can’t just tell the truth. I have to desperately come up with an excuse.

“I was just… thinking about what to say to you.”

“What…?”

“You know that I have a lot to say to you… or rather, I have a lot that I should say to you.”

“You know all that, and you’ve kept quiet all this time? You know all that, and you haven’t sent a single letter?”

“To be honest, I was a bit scared.”

“… What’s there to be scared of? What did I do to you?”

Now, it’s time for the main show. I have to grease the gears and tease her properly. In a rhythm game, this would be the climax where you have to concentrate and perform rapid taps.

“I was thinking about what to say to make things right between us, if it’s too late, if my words will make our relationship worse…”

“Don’t lie… You’ve never said anything to me in over 15 years…”

“Not a single day in 15 years…”

I turned my face towards Lorcha.

“I never forgot about you. I suffered every day, thinking about what would have happened if I had done things differently. What if I had apologized earlier? Is it too late now? I’ve been regretting and worrying every day.”

“… Don’t lie.”

For a moment, I thought she caught my lie, but Lorcha was avoiding eye contact. Part of my excuse worked, even if not all of it. It’s all thanks to Werner’s face. If it were someone else, they’d have responded with ‘Don’t be ridiculous’, but Werner’s face made it work.

Could Werner’s face be some kind of game equipment?

[Werner’s Face 17: Face Equipment (Bound Item)]

[Plausibility 174 (Additional Value 25)
37% Success Rate in Seduction
41% Chance of Forgiveness for Being Annoying (Additional 13% with a Smile)
32% Chance of Cringy Lines (Additional 25% with a Deep Voice)
60% Chance of Being Followed by a Weird Woman
45% Chance of Getting a Discount from a Shop Owner
55% Chance of Getting Extra Food from a Restaurant Owner]

Damn, this is a scam item. Look at the operators not caring about game balance. What a shitty game. Moreover, items with such options are extremely rare, so almost no one owns them.

But I can’t accept a nerf. Why? Because I already have this scam item. However, I sincerely hope that no one else obtains such a scam item and ruins the game’s balance. After everything is over, I’ll send a 5700-character petition to the operators to restore the game’s balance. I am a person who values the order of the world.

“Anyway, you have to return to your position as a royal magician.”

“Ugh, it’s such a hassle… Honestly, isn’t that too much? You know how hard it is there, right?”

“Yes, because you ran away… I had to take on the royal magician’s duties until your successor arrived. I know it very well.”

Damn, this is giving me cancer. Werner, this bastard, ran away and left a big mess, causing trouble for many people.

Right now Lorcha in front of me and me being scolded by her, they are all victims of the mess Werner left behind.

“Ugh… Don’t worry about the procedures. I’ve already talked to the royal family, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Thanks for that. But didn’t you have any problems after deserting?”

Once a ninja deserts a village, they must be hunted down and killed. Many deserting ninja teachers have met their end due to this law. I felt uneasy receiving such special treatment. Was I getting this privilege because I was the youngest of the heroes? If so, I might come to hate this country. I hated receiving special treatment because I was someone’s acquaintance, the child of an influential person, or from the same hometown or school.

“They’re always short-handed there, so of course they’d welcome a great magician like you with open arms.”

Ah, so it’s because of my skills. Well, I can’t complain in a world that values skills above all else. It’s ideal to live by your own abilities. It’s commendable to treat people like this based on their skills. This isn’t a privilege; it’s a glorious gift I earned with my own power.

“Damn…”

Come to think of it, it wasn’t a privilege. Returning to the royal magician position was like re-enlisting in the military in my hometown. Lorcha, this military police-like woman, caught me after I deserted and is now pushing me back into the darkness. I won’t forget today’s humiliation, and I’ll make you suffer greatly for it.

“What are you thinking about again?”

“Well… I was just thinking…”

I felt a little guilty saying that I was thinking about how to cause pain to the person in question. Moreover, villains who reveal their plans often get beaten, don’t they? I, who inherited the soul of Zhuge Liang, wouldn’t make the foolish mistake of revealing my plans.

“Hey, Lorcha.”

“Don’t call me by my name so casually. I’m still angry.”

Werner’s face wasn’t enough to calm Lorcha’s anger. Damn it, I wish the operators would buff Werner’s face effect. These operators are doing a terrible job, probably eating spicy chicken feet instead of working. If I ever meet them face-to-face, I’ll slap them with spicy chicken feet bones.

“Alright, then what should I call you?”

“Call me Lorcha, the head of the magic tower. That’s what you used to call me, right? You never apologized and only spat out stiff titles.”

Werner, you bastard… If I see you, I’ll kick you with a dropkick, strike your temples with a double palm strike, trip you with a wasabi roll, and punch your face with a falcon punch. This bastard’s actions are truly despicable.

There has never been such a bastard. Is he a magician or a playboy?

“Lorcha, the head of the magic tower, I have a question for you.”

“What is it?”

“That crown prince… or the princesses… they must hate me, right?”

Werner, this bastard, froze the crown prince in ice and sliced the princesses who confessed to him with the sword of words. His past actions were so flashy that I was a bit worried.

“That?”

Lorcha took a pipe cigarette lying nearby, took a puff, and exhaled thin gray smoke.

“Some princesses still like you, some have already married and consider it a dark history, and some want to kill you because they were so hurt by you.”

What, are they starting Pokémon or something? There must be more than eight princesses, which is why they’re divided into three categories. By the way, even though it’s not a good idea to badmouth the royal family, Lorcha calling the princesses ‘bitches’ shows that she’s not a loyal subject.

“What about the crown prince?”

“The crown prince? The one with brown skin and blonde hair? I met him alone once.”

The crown prince with brown skin and blonde hair. Is it true that he only dislikes ordinary women, or did he do something to Lorcha?

“What happened?”

“He threw up as soon as he saw my face. He throws up at the sight of ordinary women’s faces. Only his family is an exception, or so he says.”

The future of this country is bright. At least the new emperor won’t be a womanizer.

“So, does he hate me?”

“… He threw up for over 30 minutes, so I didn’t have time to ask him.”

Unconsciously, I started to feel sorry for the crown prince.