SWNOVELXO Chapter 34
□□Hua.
The story does not flow as originally intended.
At most, it is merely a tale relayed through words, a novel that exists only in writing.
This is a story that can be easily altered by even one person’s words and actions.
The story written by one person begins to change with just the casual remarks and behavior of another.
He was a boy who, despite not being innocent, was not tainted by the world.
She was a girl who had lived her whole life calmly, accepting what the world threw at her.
The boy, though small, did not help the girl purely, as if he were not a child; he looked at her with a gaze that always seemed to be observing.
However, because of such distortions, even a flow that was supposed to go smoothly began to falter and forget its direction.
Thus.
The girl who had been waiting for her death in an alley began to wait for the days of living after meeting a boy.
The boy was a child, yet not quite a child, knowing the importance of money and secrets.
Once a month, he would visit the girl, bringing only what she needed before leaving.
He was always expressionless.
He concealed his emotions in front of the girl.
He knew that not being innocent required this.
Being innocent might have meant something good in an ordinary world, but in this world, it meant being foolish.
If one were to question whether it was because he had no interest in the girl, the boy would silently express it through his actions without answering.
He raised his fists against the children who bullied her, blocking their way with a hero’s big sword.
He always brought food and medicine, washing the dirty, smelly girl.
He even built a home, albeit roughly, for a girl who had lived without a roof.
The boy would undoubtedly deny that all of this was merely a calculated intention, but for the girl, it was the only affection she could possess.
Thus.
When the girl first began to learn to speak.
“An, nyung…?”
“Go, ma, wor…”
With a slight hesitation at the clumsiness compared to the boy, she earnestly tried to repeat the words he recited.
“Eh…, Prin, ce…?”
“Capital P, rayon…”
Learning the basics one by one, and making an effort to learn even the more difficult things.
She wished to express some unknown feeling within her.
It would be a soft thump to her chest, a timid flutter, but thus, emerged again as the girl’s pent-up feelings.
When the girl focused and repeated after him.
The boy’s gaze was solely on her, and a gentle voice would reach her ears.
Whenever she would blankly gaze at the boy’s face, a small breath would escape her lips.
The girl immediately pointed to him with her hand.
“This, name….”
Carefully reciting a word she had learned moments ago, she whispered that what she wanted to know was the boy.
“….”
“Not allowed…?”
The boy’s name was the letters that would express the feelings the girl had always held.
And because it was not bestowed upon her, perhaps it was something she longed for even more desperately.
So, after a slight hesitation, she shook her head and uttered that voice, memorizing it clearly.
“Ain.”
“….”
Ain.
With slightly widened eyes, she looked at the boy’s face and held that name close.
“…, that is my name.”
“Ah, in.”
That was the name of the one who saved the girl.
“That’s right.”
“…, Ain.”
That was something precious that must never be forgotten.
“….”
“Ain.”
It was a special word that made the girl express her feelings.
So she ended up repeating it over and over.
Ain.
Ain.
Ain.
Ain.
The girl would not forget it.
Wanting to say it properly more than anything, she continued to murmur that name even after the boy had left.
Thus time flowed.
In the girl’s daily life, new things began to be added one by one, growing more and more colorful.
The girl who had known no emotion would murmur.
“Ain.”
When she was alone, gazing up at the sky, she would mutter like that.
“Ain.”
When she sucked on a candy the boy had given her, clouded by its sweetness, she would invariably recall it again.
And.
On one such day, and again, as the days continued to flow on,
The girl’s heart swelled.
The faint feelings began to rise slowly, becoming more pronounced when she thought of the boy.
The girl, who had always been alone, found her surroundings increasingly filled with the boy named Ain.
Those days continued, waiting blankly for Ain to come.
Day by day, she chewed on the food given by Ain and applied the medicine he provided.
“Ain.”
And as she continued to murmur just his name, a whole month passed by.
Thus, although she still couldn’t fix her clumsy speech, she had learned to say the boy’s name normally.
“Ain.”
She had more confidence in saying that than anyone else.
“Ain.”
As she thought about how much she missed that boy, time had passed and flowed.
Of course, a month felt long, and it was displeasing that she could only meet him once after such a long time.
Yet, the girl did not reveal her inner thoughts.
When that gloominess tried to creep out, she shoved it deep inside her heart, ensuring it did not show.
The girl remembered the words Ain had spoken, not forgetting.
Remain a good child was something she had told herself many times, still lingering near her ears.
Though she still did not fully understand what being a good child meant, she was certain that the dark feelings creeping in were not what a good child would have.
In other words, while she thought she didn’t know what a good child was, Ain was a good person.
Even a slight recollection of the boy was vastly different from the girl she was.
So the girl thought she had to follow the path that boy was taking.
Ain was the light that illuminated her, so she needed to follow that light.
“Ain.”
Although that light had already moved far away.
It flickered as if it might disappear at any moment with even a small mistake.
“…, Ain.”
The girl had to quickly become a good child so that he wouldn’t drift further away.
She must never do anything that the boy would dislike.
“Ain.”
With every time she murmured his name, the girl’s feelings slowly surfaced, but she felt that only by becoming a good child would she not be abandoned by him.
“Ain…, uhm.”
As she spilled her emotions, she flinched and quickly pressed down on the flow of her feelings that threatened to spill out.
She covered her mouth with both hands to keep from uttering his name any longer.
If not, she surely would have repeated the boy’s name until morning passed and dawn arrived.
However, it had already bloated to its limit.
All the words and actions of the boy who had cared for her had inflated it so much that it was like a bomb ready to explode.
Even the smallest accumulations had stacked up, and such inflated feelings would eventually pour out towards the boy with just one opportunity.
Thus.
The day would soon come when her complete feelings, feelings larger than just completeness, would burst forth.
And.
Such thoughts continued until the small girl slowly began to transform into a woman.
Finally, the time approached, the once faint feelings becoming clearer, and the powers held as a curse gradually awakened and enveloped her surroundings.
Even amidst the terrible pain she screamed in, that was the only thing she could think of.
Ain.
And the good child Ain desired.
The bloated feelings were about to burst joyfully, and even as ash-like dust swirling around became furious, she only wished for that.
The woman hoped that nothing precious she held would be taken away from her.
“Ain.”
Thus, even in the moment her eyes opened, she called that name.
“…, Ain.”
Then, startled, to prevent herself from getting swept away by that emotion, she immediately uttered something that flowed into her mind.
“Beyond the horizon.”
“The breath of the sea.”
“I conceal them.”
And it was the primal spell she had instinctively uttered, even without understanding its meaning.
In this life, she recited a spell not to kill but to protect the boy.
Hoping to remain close to the boy, she uttered it to suppress her own emotions.
Desiring not to lose the everyday moments with him, she sought to become a good child, even this way.
Of course, the ashen feelings.
No matter how forcibly stifled, they would eventually burst forth and pour out.
Yet for now, she found solace in being able to look at Ain’s face with a blank expression like before.